Hello all,

I'm looking through the net for help with my current situation and came across this place and thought I'll post.

I've always been anti pill/MDMA due to the stupid way people act on it (the stupid way I've felt in the past) but mostly because of the come down. I used to take pills some years ago, not heavy use really (I've had heavier use with other thing like LSD, mushrooms and K) but it got to a point where after a weekend where I had taken pills I would be severly depressed until at least wednesday, sometimes thursday or friday, it was real struggle to live through those episodes (I was hallucinating, seeing demons and stuff, sitting on the edge of the bed for half an hour before I remembered that I was sitting there, stuff like that) but I got past them and that was that. Gave up taking most things (gave up taking E/MDMA way before) a couple of years ago but still have the occasional line of K or coke or small dose of acid, I mean occasional, like no more than five times a year for the past 3 years.

So last weekend I had some K, took a little line of it (took some of the same stuff a while ago, seems absolutely fine in regards to the problems I'm experiencing now) came up (or down) and then went back to normal, everything was fine. Then my friend had some MDMA (pinky purply colour, crystal) he said he had heard it was pretty good stuff. So I'm not into MDMA, but for some reason, it's been my understanding (which might be totally untrue) that MDMA is just better, nicer, less comedown than what is commonly in pills (to my understanding) MDA. I've had a couple of lines (literally, haven't used it much more than that) of MDMA before but that was back in my drug use days so I didn't really assess it and it's comedown independently from the plethora or other substances I was on at the time (I used to drink heavily also, I don't drink at all now). Anyway, I decided to test a little, took a small line (thinking, hoping, that it's negative effects wouldn't be up there with pills, dicing with death, yes) the first line I took did pretty much nothing, was too small, didn't pass the threshold. Took a second line shortly after taking K, then came up on the MDMA at the same time as entering a K hole, this was mental and very interesting. To me a K hole is usually hard to sort of, see, what's going on due to the insanity of the situation but also because it seems that K like, dulls your perception aswell. With the MDMA mixed in it was quite amazing, the K hole was different to before, I thought that the up effect of the MDMA might stop one entering a K hole but it didn't, it just made it brighter and easier to perceive (try to perceive) and perhaps shorter. So then I mixed some K and MDMA together into a pinkish powder and did about 3 more rather large lines that night (all in all about 5-6 hours total). The mix of K and MDMA was really interesting.

Then I went to bed, by then my jaw was going a bit (hate that) but not too bad considering how f'd I was. I was able to sleep, it was weird sleep but I was able to go to sleep pretty much straight away. Woke up the next day, was hungover and still feeling the effects loads even after 6 hours sleep (took about 0.5 of MDMA in total, probably same of K) looked in the mirror, looked like some kind of vampire, went back to bed. 3 -4 hours after that woke up, felt quite a bit better (just feeling residual effects now) could operate (but pupils still big) went out. That was Monday, I took the MDMA and K on Sunday night/Monday morning. By Tuesday the effects were completely gone and I was very relieved that I was not (and am still not) experiencing any depression. I put this down to a brain change I underwent a couple of years ago on Mushrooms in which I went to a hell like place, it was terrible, very strange and unique, was triggered by discussing a very terrible thing that happened to a friend with him and it seemed like I somehow took his pain for that trip and went into hell, before that trip I used to be depressed, but when I came out of the hell I was different. The coming out was beautiful, there were angel/god like characters in the sky guiding me and beckoning me back to this reality, when I got here I was eternally grateful for the world even though it's fucked and felt blessed (and completely relieved to not be in hell anymore). Anyway that's another story, could write volumes about that, but the reason I present it here is that, after that experience, my resident depression just couldn't get a grip on me anymore, instead of running away in fear and panic from it I could sit there and look into it, deeply, into it's shadows, and it could no longer get me, I was different. I can only attribute the fact that I did not and have not experienced depression from this MDMA experience to what happened to me that night in hell. I have all the other charactristics of a bad comedown that would certainly be peppered with depression, but it's just not there, buddah bless, one good thing. But now there is plenty of something else which is distrubing, fear.

Lets finally get to the problem, so now it is Friday (5 days later) and I'm experiencing some dodgyness of a terrible nature. Let me describe, I don't feel like I am coming down really, it's possible that it could be a hangover..? I feel dizzy, un-balanced, when turning my head (even slowly) I feel all weird and dizzy, I feel unable to perceive things in as quick a manner as I normally do (horrible feeling), I do feel slightly rushy in the body in places, (heart, stomach, all over really, spine, feet) but the main problems are the mental ones. My vision seems blurrey, like it never really focusses correctly, only with a dedicated effort can I get it to focus in a manner that isn't blurrey and annoying. I have to sigh and re regulate my breath every now and then, breathing isn't comfortable. I just feel a bit, not here, my head feels woozy, almost like I'm on a very small amount of K, or something. It's getting pretty scarey s this has been going for 5 days now and the thing is, it hasn't diminished in intensity at all that I can notice.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Have people experienced this kind of thing (where it seems to not be getting better for days) with MDMA/K / MDMA+K? Anything I can try to eat or do? I went for a run last night to see if I could sweat it out a bit and get my heart beating, I had pretty much normal fitness and strength but it hasn't helped. I guess I'll go to a+e in a few hours time.

I would greatly appreciate anyones comments (unless its "serves you right druggie bastard").

Thanks.
P