In no particular order, here are my favorites:

"It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends."

"You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think."
(on being challenged to use the word Horticulture in a sentence)

"I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most
Three and I'm under the table
Four and I'm under the host"

"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

"That woman speaks 18 languages and can't say "No" in any of them."

"That would be a good thing for them to carve on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."

"Look at him, a rhinestone in the rough."

"Too fucking busy, and vice versa."
(Reply to her editor who was pestering her for belated work while she was on her honeymoon)

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."


Anybody have additional favorites?