How does the menstrual cycle relate to your understanding of the Goddess? Women – do you feel that it’s just another thing to pressure you while you try to live the modern life, or do you tune in and listen? What do you hear? Guys – do you think yippee! no contraception for a week/boo! I’ll be ducking frying pans, or do you sense that there are lessons in the cycle? What do we notice to be the cyclical patterns and what do they mean? (Just finished my time of the month and have been pondering…)
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Wed, February 20, 2008 - 5:05 AMI used to be more practical, considering the extremes that my SO had in her cycle. Now it more represents cycles, seasons, the stripping of the old to be replaced by something new.
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Wed, February 20, 2008 - 4:03 PMAny one else on this?
Any of you ladies been initiated in a Red Tent ceremony?
From the guys, what do you think of the existence of the Sisterhood of the Red Tent? Do you feel excluded somehow? If you have a daughter, a sister, or significant other, how do you support them in this, if at all?
How do you deal with a raging, hormonal monster of a pre-teen girl? Do you let them sail? What if a fit happens when you have plans?
Let's hear it! -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 3:27 AMYeah, for me, I've not really had much initiation, and more recently my partner has been pointing out very specific changes in me that definately relate to my cycle I had no idea were there. He says the pre-menstrual week starts with a bleak depression, where I'm virtually inconsolable, then just before it starts my libido suddenly goes through the roof. During I am sort of extremely happy but hyper-sensitive, so possibly get teary all-of-a-sudden, then afterwards get incredibly vulnerable and suspicious - I'm sorry to say it - suspicious of men. My poor fella dreads this bit as I feel almost like I'm in bed with the enemy.
I know I have to become a bit menstruation savvy and would really appreciate some tips on how to respond appropriately to the changes so I don't feel like I'm being pushed around by my own body. Sisters? Brothers? Any advice?
G x -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 5:23 AMHi Gina,
I think the key is to change the way you interpret the symptoms of menses. The "tell" for me is this "respond appropriately to the changes so I don't feel like I'm being pushed around by my own body." I know we've touched on this subject in a different context, and maybe this context is not so loaded.
To start, we have beliefs that we've been raised with, and that predominate our cultures, generally speaking. Specifically in this context, we often believe that we are encased in a body that is somehow foreign to us, or at least imposed upon us. Logically, it's a short drive to the conclusion that we have to respond to our bodies, and in some cases can be pushed around by our bodies. We become victims to our bodies. My first response to this belief system is that it's very sad.
In my view, our bodies are OUR expression of our inner being, colored with our beliefs, habits of thinking and doing, and our feelings, impulses and emotions. Thus, if we believe we are victims or at best, just along for the ride in our bodies, then that's the reality we will create. We'll percieve, and thus it will be real for us, that something is wrong with us or our bodies, or both, if something is amiss and unpleasant. There is nothing wrong with our body, ever. What is happening, always, is that we are expressing our inner states, beliefs and creativity, the conflicts and harmonies among them, and always sending messages to our ego/conscious minds of what those are.
If I could change one belief of everyone on the planet, it would be the belief system of victom/perpetrator. And in this context, the relationship that women, The Goddess, has with her body, is one of the most beautiful in the human condition. It can also be the most sad to me, when a woman feels she has no creative powers over her most beautiful expression, her body.
*hugs* -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 7:35 AMHahaha... Gina, I think this tribe may be following the same cycle. *winks* I grew up with two older sisters and we always had our time of the month simultaneously.
One comment I want to share is an old "myth" I was told as a little girl. I was reared as a good little Greek Orthodox girl. If I remember correctly, according to Old testement... Eve offered the apple to Adam "temptation" ... From then on Eve was plague with the red flow of her actions. A reminder of our wicked ways! LOL. A cultural version I thought interesting to share. Hell, no wonder this belief has gone off the deep end to include -- man running for cover when we menstrate!
Oh the stigma!
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 8:57 AMGina ,
I thought the description by your partner of the changes you go through prior to menses was generally pretty apt and concurs with my experience of my partners ,more or less. But I never saw these fluctuations as a liability or cause for worry or concern. Growing up with a sister who's mood swings during this "special time"were far greater than anything in the known Universe buttressed me for the challenges later on.
I think many women go through a period where a conscious attempt is made to reassess their attitude on this issue to overcome the sometimes inculcated negative conditioning that often occurs in our culture and "own" the experience,and thus repossess their bodies for the truly magical and Divine vessel that it is...
It is a time of sensitivity to be sure. I always keep some dark chocolate stashed in my freezer as a balm for PMS in my partners.
My attitude has always been one of heightened anticipation,because it's always hard to predict how behavior will manifest. To me this means I certainly won't be bored. In addition these feminine fluctuations may often seem overly dramatic,but it serves to remind me of MY own feminine nature and gives me the luxury of periodically pampering my partner with various "reassurances"in words and deed that come from my great strength which is Consistency.
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 9:11 AMTaoism suggests that women need to harness their menstrual cycle just like like men need to retain their semen. Don't understand it yet, not sure how much room Taoism makes for true godess energy but at least it acknowledges mother earth as being an essential energy source and sex as sacred.
I wonder if a woman's menstrual experience reflects her acceptance for the mother aspect of the godess. Its a theory based on the observation of but a few subjects, but it seems to me that the more ambitious career driven women who see it as an inconvenience suffer alot worse than the ones who willingly embrace this aspect which has traditionally been grossly under appreciated. It seems that alot of the drive behind the ambition actually comes from a denied fear of ending up like the mother, so there is an inherent lack of self acceptance that doesn't allow them to relax into the fluctuations and the resistance causes pain. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 10:43 AMStephen..I wanna order one of you...please...;0) -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Thu, February 21, 2008 - 12:03 PMOn the Snake Goddess, Menses, and more...
(section from)
Women in the Aegean Minoan Snake Goddess by Christopher L. C. E. Witcombe
9. Snake Charmers
In 1906, within a few years of Evans's discovery of them, it was suggested that the figurines represent not a goddess and her votaries but snake-charmers brought over from Egypt for the amusement of the palace at Knossos.
While Evans acknowledged that they may be snake charmers, he believed the figures to be the central objects of a religious shrine and so regarded "snake-charming" not as some form of sport or palace entertainment but as a part of their priestly function. Evans does not inquire further into their function, but I suspect that it is in this role, as snake-charming priestesses, that the original purpose and meaning of the figurines may be discovered.
When considered in conjunction with the almost contemporary Egyptian magical objects, it may be suggested that the figurines found by Evans in the Temple Repositories functioned as charms in magical rites performed before shrines, and that, more specifically, these magical rites had to do with the particular concerns of women, among which were fertility, menstruation, conception, and the supply of breast milk.
Fertility, menstruation, and conception were all necessarily connected. The onset of menstruation initiated fertility (the ability to reproduce), which was confirmed through conception. Conception was indicated by the cessation of menstruation. Menstruation was the key and great importance and power was therefore given to menstrual blood.
read more...
witcombe.sbc.edu/snakegodd...rmers.html -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 5:33 AMThis discussion is fascinating. The general consensus seems to be to surrender to and accept the menstrual changes and embrace them - accepting and loving the body, giving it the chocolate and rest it needs.
The Minoan Snake Goddess article is very interesting – I read through the whole thing and its telling that the significance of female reproductive cycles are reflected in the deities of a matrilineal culture. I’ve always found it spooky and amazing when my periods synchronise with my friends – previously with a girlfriend I lived with it would be within a minute – I mean it was pretty much simultaneous.
Perhaps drawing together with other women is important at this time. Perhaps also the fact that patriarchal structures dissolved matrilineal social grouping and probably the resultant feelings of sisterhood, is why it is difficult today to accept the body as a woman. The reason I resist having children is not because I don’t want to be like my mother, but that I don’t want to be isolated, lonely, depressed, housebound, having no conversation with an intellectual equal, no sense of social significance, hormonal, desperate….as I see all the new mothers around me and hear their complaints. They feel desperate for sisterhood.
I’d love it if the world of work accepted the monthly changes and it was acceptable to have a couple of days off around the time of menstruation to just eat chocolate, embrace a sense of renewal, and chat to my friends. My partner told me that a friend of his would plan for it and took her annual leave from work in separate days throughout the year and planned them for the time she would feel the worst. Perhaps that’s an idea….
Also Stephen I love the fact that you enjoy the unpredictability of our loony time. Perhaps my man will do the same once I get a better handle on it! -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 9:12 AMGina,
You make a strong point here: "I don’t want to be isolated, lonely, depressed, housebound, having no conversation with an intellectual equal, no sense of social significance, hormonal, desperate….as I see all the new mothers around me and hear their complaints. "
I heard the same complaints from my spouse when my kids were small, and I still hear them. I recently went back to my mom's old photo albums. There I was, with all the neighborhood kids, and the mothers hanging out talking in their yards. My EX would rarely leave the house when the kids were real small, and suffered from intense post partum depression. Hmmm, Paxil was nice, but it sure doesn't hurt to have companionship. LOL! Maybe there's something there to do with my parents being married 39 years, and me only 12? Not all of it by any means, but it does give one pause for thought.
Of course, depending on the attitude of the group, complaints can be mutually reinforcing. On the other hand, maybe some would pale in significance if there's sisterhood bond.
Got me thinkin out loud there, Gina. :-) -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 9:50 AM> There I was, with all the neighborhood kids, and the mothers hanging out talking in their yards. <
.......back when most moms stayed home, and didn't either have to work, or choose to do so.......
Things have changed a lot since then. Now you have to go out and *find* other moms who have similar schedules to your own, whether you work or not; it's not a question of a whole neighborhood full of 'em, just looking for companionship. I ended up giving out my phone number to women I bumped into at the playground I frequented, and thankfully ended up with a couple of really close friends, but even then it wasn't until my son was 2 and my daughter eight months old that I found them.
Motherhood can be very isolating, and at the worst possible time emotionally for the woman. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 10:57 AMBless you Sakari - your story is typical from what I’ve heard. That’s what scares me. I can’t see a way around it…. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 11:41 AMMake bonds *before* you give birth, if possible. If you do a prenatal class, or hook up with La Leche League if you plan to breastfeed, you'll find women in the same boat. The important thing is to do some searching before you feel emotionally turbulent and/or pinned down. Don't expect to find your Bestest Friend Ever, either--just try to find women you can spend time with; the bonds form as much because you're raising your kids together as because of any pre-baby connection.
All that being said, I didn't have postpartum depression, and I wasn't desperate, miserable, or lonely in those two years and eight months before I hooked up with my circle of friends---I was just much, much happier afterward. So it's not as though you're doomed to be unhappy. It's just....it's like living in a toxic food environment: that doesn't mean you're guaranteed to gain weight, but boy, a little preplanning can really really improve your odds.
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 11:46 AMoh, and I'm not saying "Hey! Have kids!!"--just that you should choose based on what you *want*, not on what you fear, if at all possible.
:-) -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 12:02 PMWhat Sakari says is true. Things have changed, beliefs have changed, situations have changed.
I was thinking out loud, noticing things.
In my opinion, I'd recommend what Sakari says, also.
:-) -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 12:21 PMHehe… This thread bring up some intriguing thoughts! Okay, telling stories and sharing experiences…I’m good at that!
That day began like any other day and clear as crystal. I began my menses at the early age of 12. Then I remember while sitting in Mr. Geter’s 6th grade History class, I developed a headache, tummy ache, and fever. Walking up to his desk I said, “I need to go home, NOW”. Later, wrapped in a blanket on the living room couch, reading my history studies… that moment came…seeing the blood in my undies and flowing stream in the water of the toilet… That moment was like staring into a tunnel… a familiar and old friend visiting with a special message. I was feeling that energy of the goddess, the lineage of women that connects us ALL.
Thereafter, I recall my mother ironing my dad’s shirts in the kitchen area… I approached her “Mama, that blood came, it’s here”. She gently smiled with that sweet gaze as she relaxed her arms on that ironing board. Then she delicately wrapped her arm around me as he led me to the back to assist in my new rites of passage. It was during this time the energy of the goddess was present and gentle… my initiation into the red tent.
Initiations do not always happen in this manner or during this time for women, for others it can happen earlier…which brings me to a similar experience. When I was at Ren Fest last year… I was preparing to dance on stage, and then it happened!!! My time of the month came at the most inopportune time and I had my darling 6 year old at my side. Not a soul around to take her so I could take care of "business" in the ladies restroom. At that moment, I was in a RAGE and loosing my patience and prepared to bite off anybody’s head that came my way. (Take note: Fangs and claws appearing at this point) Frightful! LOL
So at the precocious age of 6, my daughter can be quite demanding and inquisitive about all physiological functions. I was not in the mood to explain the depths of my situation at that moment... particularly to a 6 year old! Though she understood, mommy has blood every month. Reluctantly I pulled my daughter with me into the ladies restroom (imagine pissed off hormonal mommy wearing layers of belly dance clothing with sweet sparkling pixie drummer girl)…As kuchi coins went flying into the next toilet stalls... “that shift” came. It is that moment of peace and understanding. I’ll tell you after that shift of consciousness… the arm of the goddess delicately wrapped her arm around me and my daugher. Not long after that my daughter and I laughed until there were tears in our eyes. (I’ll never forget her excitement to wear a panty liner at Ren Fest!)
This story brings me back to that beautiful moment… I’m dancing on stage and looking at my daughter sitting patiently on that front row…smiling with her eyes so tenderly at me. That is the moment where time does not exist…it is the moment of mother and daughter, sisters, dancers, drummers, watchers, the goddess, the blessed moment of being, being in the flow…
Peace, Love and Understanding.
xo -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 12:45 PML@TUS,
You do have a away with words, and puns!
I do appreciate "all y'all" (a Texan redundancy, live with it!)
Todd -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 4:48 PMThat episode sounds so very special Lotus. I honor that you decided to bring another entity into existence and have been able to take the time and energy to do it right.
I myself could never dedicate my existence willingly to raising another human being. It's simply too daunting a responsibility.
I just don't think I could do what I do now as an avocation,while exposing a helpless infant to the extreme waxing and waning of my financial status. I have always known this and my recalcitrance has destroyed a dozen or more relationships with fine partners who,unfortunately were unwilling or unable to recognize my beliefs on this subject ,or thought they could turn me around...
In fact I think the institute of marriage is for having children together(and a fine sentiment that is),but it is either anachronistic,inconvenient or completely irrelevant if you don't want kids...
Don't get me wrong,I believe in partnership, and the giving and getting of love and intimacy,just not the FORM of conventional marriage as it exists today.
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Fri, February 22, 2008 - 5:35 PMWow! My situation was *totally* different! How lucky you are L@tus!
Oh, but first... to comment on this:
"I’d love it if the world of work accepted the monthly changes and it was acceptable to have a couple of days off around the time of menstruation to just eat chocolate, embrace a sense of renewal, and chat to my friends."
I have to say that I often just sleep most of the day on the heaviest day of my period. Sometimes I have to take a day off work to do this. I no longer feel the horrible pain I did when I was a young teenager, but I just like to cocoon on that heaviest of days.
When my menses started at the age of 13, I was outside playing basketball with 5 neighborhood boys. Three on three. I don't remember what I thought or said as I left the driveway. When I realized what had happened, I sat in the bathroom and cried, because I thought I'd bleed from that moment until menopause! I must have slept or daydreamed through the "girl version" of the puberty filmstrip shown in the auditorium at elementary school. I missed the "five days a month" thing. LOL! My mom intervened, showed me where the "feminine products" were and set me straight. Still, all summer long throughout most of my Jr High & High School years, I had to contend with my period starting for every trip to the lake, every camping trip, every track meet. And it was *so* painful. I remember one car trip in which I was writhing in pain and my dad asking my mom, "isn't there anything you can *do*????" Argh.
I was quite the "tomboy." No tiaras for me. And I was raised in the culture that called it "the curse," to refer again to the Adam & Eve thing. But then, as a young adult, I "got religion." I found the goddess traditions and learned to really tune in and respect my body and flow with her cycles. My cyclical emotional patterns are quite mild. I don't hear anything from people around me about that. I believe that hormonal balance is key and that nutrition and exercise play a role there, though I'm not sure to what extent. Mild as they are, I do have them, and I am as mindful as I can possibly be to them.
Speaking of hormones, I've always had a "short cycle," that is, 21-23 days rather than the 28-day norm. As a result (or "in addition to that"), the lining of my uterus was never thick enough to support pregnancy for the first three months before the placenta is ready to take over the nutritional support of the fetus. I lost a pregnancy for every one I carried. My first child was truly a gift, because somehow he hung on. My miscarriages before him and between he and his brother alerted my midwife that something was wrong and after assessing the situation, I had to take a hormone to support my second child during his first three months. I hope I'm never offered fake hormones again. I hated the pill for the short period that I took it, and I hated being on hormones while I was pregnant, necessary as it was. I would much rather embrace my cycles and take cues as to how I should live my day based on how I feel. Where I am in my cycle effects how I feel. It's a part of who I am. I don't want to mask that.
Having said that, there have been two occasions when I've done some deep visualization in order to delay the onset of my period when it was beginning at an unbelievably bad time (just by a couple of days!) I also was able to use visualization to delay the birth of my second son by a couple of days while we waited for my mom to arrive. Not at all in keeping with "going with the flow" of the cycles, but there you have it. True confessions.
And speaking of "unbelievably bad times" can I ask you guys how you feel about lovemaking during menses? Guys and gals both, actually. I'm curious. Personally, I draw the line at only the heaviest days. Otherwise, I find those days to be unbelievably hot. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Sat, February 23, 2008 - 2:13 AMnow look see what you've done..I'm bleedin all over the place..;0)...
yes Diane...tis a time to journey together deeply within the recess's of the goddess's enveloping consuming ALL, back into no thing ness...and back to creation.. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Sat, February 23, 2008 - 2:02 PMI read the research on why womens cycles start to coincide,like roomate's for instance in psyhc 1years ago. It has to do with pheromones,but probably a more important designator is light. The pineal gland (sometimes referred to as the third eye) is a light sensitive gland in the MIDDLE of the forehead. It is not fully understood as to it's function but there is enough evidence to suggest that it has allot to do with the synchronization of women's menstrual cycles and the amount of ambient light the subject is exposed to,natural or artificial. There is a hormone secreted ONLY DURING DARKNESS that acts as a break for the whole sexual system. The less darkness there is ,the less "breaking" action is initiated. This may be why kids in the city develop faster sexually than in the country. They are exposed to WAY more ambient light. It is also no coincidence that the menstrual cycle mimics the moon cycle. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Sun, February 24, 2008 - 1:12 PMI read this post with uhhmmm..a certain fascination,..especially with regards the points of the men here. Definitely,..there should be MORE men like you!
While I really do not like the cycle myself there is one thing and ONE thing only that I will embrace from it, and that is that during the last two days of it, my sexuality, my wants and needs are greater than any other time, and the sensations from within are so euphoric and erruptive I can hardly contain it!
Do any of you other Ladies feel like this I wonder?? -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Sun, February 24, 2008 - 11:18 PMGod I feel like I have missed out on a lot. haven't read all this yet, but it sure sounds good...I will send my thoughts soon hopefully. Life is so busy I have yet to stop and breathe the air... -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 4:58 AMHeya Jack!
I, we, have missed you! Give us the news of what's been keeping you so busy. Do you have a man/god in your midst? What else has been going on to keep you away?
Spill,
:-)
Todd
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Sun, February 24, 2008 - 11:30 PMyes Leger...at this time my whole being opens unlike any other...and every nerve is on alert and waiting to fulfill itself through expression a primal urge if you will... -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 8:03 PMa primal urge if you will...>>>>
Mmmm oh yeahh...the above quoted is DEFINITELY related to and praps describes the "feeling" best, much like I'm holding the club and dragging my man by the hair...hmmm now there's athought ;-)
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 5:31 AMOkay, I'm going to be blunt here, and see if I can express myself as I intend.
In Leger's post, she talks about her sexual feelings in the last two days of her cycle. Glistens relates similar feelings. I think someone else hinted at wanting to know how a man feels about sex with a woman during her cycle. That's the subject matter of this post.
On principle, I'm not against sex during a woman's menstrual cycle. I tend to "go with the flow", if you'll pardon the bad pun. Many women feel yucky during some parts usually the heavier ones, and sex is the last thing on their mind. I'm cool with that, and particularly, if a woman's feeling yucky, then sex is not on my mind, either, at least not with her. (Not going into beliefs and agreements about monogamy, that's for another thread.)
Also, there are times in this cycle when a woman's hormones are "euphoric and erruptive", and the whole house is saturated with them. This does tend to happen (not always) during the last two days. During those times, my male brain is in a male sexual haze. I think that's the whole idea behind pheromones. I can honestly tell you it's like being high for me. Frikken crack, I tell you. If she's not in the mood, I can't sleep around her, because I'm kept awake by it, unless I can express it. That's all the natural way things are, only it's hard to tell what beliefs are affecting this when I'm high on sex crack. LOL A little blood is not necessarily a bad thing.
Your turn...
Todd -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 7:31 AMMy hormonal/sexual peak begins around a day before I start my period and continues on through my cycle. So, it's a plus to share space with a sex crack addict. *smiles*
Personally, I adore it when a man is in touch with a woman's body, cycles, and saturation with pheromones! That's HOT! Damn... It's like somebody knockin on heaven's door. -
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 5:45 PMA little blood is not necessarily a bad thing.
I believe that too, curiously,and this from one who ,true to double Virgo form normally likes everything,spic and span.
What turns the tide so to speak is if my lover is turned on.
I don't care if it's the time of the month,the hormones,or what she had for breakfast.
When she's hot we have wood,period.
I used to have an extra sensory nose for who was ovulating,and even could often predict accurately what day ...
I'm not that sensorially sensitive anymore,but what I've lost in the olfactory area I've gained in the emotional area,and can "be there" in ways I just fantasized about when I was 18 and merely hormonal...
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Re: Menstruation: what's your take?
Mon, February 25, 2008 - 8:06 PMIt's like somebody knockin on heaven's door....>>>
Open says a me ;-)
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