***********Lonely Tribe;'s topics - tribe.net

Study: 25% of Americans have no one to confide in

jmparker — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 09:40:42 GMT

Study: 25% of Americans have no one to confide in

By Janet Kornblum, USA TODAY
Americans have a third fewer close friends and confidants than just two decades ago — a sign that people may be living lonelier, more isolated lives than in the past.
In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them, says a study in today's American Sociological Review. In 2004, that number dropped to two, and one in four had no close confidants at all.

"You usually don't see that kind of big social change in a couple of decades," says study co-author Lynn Smith-Lovin, professor of sociology at Duke University in Durham, N.C.

Close relationships are a safety net, she says. "Whether it's picking up a child or finding someone to help you out of the city in a hurricane, these are people we depend on."

Also, research has linked social isolation and loneliness to mental and physical illness.

The study finds fewer contacts are from clubs and neighbors; people are relying more on family, a phenomenon documented in the 2000 book Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam, a Harvard public policy professor.

The percentage of people who confide only in family increased from 57% to 80%, and the number who depend totally on a spouse is up from 5% to 9%, the study found. "If something happens to that spouse or partner, you may have lost your safety net," Smith-Lovin says.

The study is based on surveys of 1,531 people in 1985 and 1,467 in 2004, part of the General Social Survey by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago.

Not everyone sees such a dire picture. People still have other friends, sociologist Barry Wellman of the University of Toronto says. "We have a lot of ties that aren't super strong but are still pretty important."

Why people have fewer close friends is unclear, Putnam says. "This is a mystery like Murder on the Orient Express, in which there are multiple culprits."

The chief suspects: More people live in the suburbs and spend more time at work, Putnam says, leaving less time to socialize or join groups.

Also, people have more entertainment tools such as TV, iPods and computers, so they can stay home and tune out. But some new trends, such as online social networking, may help counter the effect, he says.

Posted 6/22/2006 10:40 PM ET
Updated 6/22/2006 10:42 PM ET E-mail | Save | Print | Reprints & Permissions | Subscribe to stories like this

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies

I miss Julie.

jmparker — Tue, 09 May 2006 19:09:49 GMT

... and so many other people.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies

I love it

jmparker — Sun, 19 Mar 2006 20:14:43 GMT

when there's only one single new response listed in this tribe, and I come here and it isn't even to my thread, which still has no responses.

I have spent two entire days walking around in a city of 12 million people, but haven't spoken to a single living soul in almost 48 hours.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 5 replies

Sorry, kind of

julie — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 01:36:50 GMT

I want to kick everyone out of my tribe. It's too crowded and I can hardly breath. There is too much activity here. It reminds of all the things I'm trying to avoid, like conversation and company.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies

sunny days

michele — Mon, 27 Mar 2006 00:34:01 GMT

some say rainy days bring out feelings of lonliness.
but i think sunny days are much lonlier.
today is the first day of complete sunshine here in san francisco in a long time.
it seems that everyone is outside, doing whatever.
how lonley it is in the bright sunshine. surrounded by people soaking it in.
the sunshine mocks my lonliness.
i look up at the blue sky, aching for the rain. its not that the rain is less lonley.
but it provides hydration for my lonley heart. hydration alone.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies

Lonliest place?

jmparker — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 12:19:31 GMT

After moving to the west coast I thought that must be the lonliest place, because the streets are wider and things are further apart.
But now I think being alone on a boat is the lonliest place. Because everything is so far away.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies

Suburbia

julie — Sat, 28 Jan 2006 20:32:41 GMT

I was in the suburbs today. It's kind of like going to work. I really feel lonely there. No one will even make eye contact! Or, if they do, they sneer at me haughtily or glare at me suspiciously. I think the suburbs are the loneliest places in the world. I don't feel good about anything after going to suburbs. I just feel that I don't belong anywhere, that everyone has lost their mind except for me. I am isolated and lonely. I'm sure the memory of going to the suburbs today will keep me lonely for a long time.

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People with faces make me feel sad

julie — Fri, 27 Jan 2006 22:41:04 GMT

...and lonely. I apologize to the lonely tribesman with friends and a face. I couldn't stand seeing you everytime I went to my special lonely place. You were faking the loneliness that is so real to me and central to my very identity. You were mocking me. And that makes me so very lonely.

posted in ***********Lonely Tribe; - 0 replies