BDSM and Polyamory's topics - tribe.net

California Supreme Court eyes polygamy

Jay — Sat, 17 May 2008 00:50:36 GMT

Hi all,

In it's recent 4 to 3 ruling that the ban on gay marriage was a violation of the California Constitution (gay marriage foes intend to place a measure on the ballot to alter the state's constitution this November), the court considered how this ruling might affect those who in the future wanted to enter into polygamous (or, btw, incestuous) marriages. Indeed, Justice Baxter, in his dissent, cited precisely these concerns as one of the reasons he was voting to uphold the ban. In their own way, his words hold out hope for us poly folk.

Best,

Jay

Sayeth Justice Baxter: The bans on incestuous and polygamous marriages are ancient and deep-rooted, and, as the majority suggests, they are supported by strong considerations of social policy. Our society abhors such relationships, and the notion that our laws could not forever prohibit them seems preposterous. Yet here, the majority overturns, in abrupt fashion, an initiative statute confirming the equally deep-rooted assumption that marriage is a union of partners of the opposite sex. The majority does so by relying on its own assessment of contemporary community values, and by inserting in our Constitution an expanded definition of the right to marry that contravenes express statutory law.

That approach creates the opportunity for further judicial extension of this perceived constitutional right into dangerous territory. Who can say that, in ten, fifteen, or twenty years, an activist court might not rely on the majority’s analysis to conclude, on the basis of a perceived evolution in community values, that the laws prohibiting polygamous and incestuous marriages were no longer constitutionally justified?

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 4 replies

Branding class with Fakir Musafar

Phil — Mon, 26 May 2008 21:02:50 GMT

Tomorrow night May 27---The Kiss of Fire, the ABC's of Branding

At the SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

8:00 PM to 10:30 PM
Doors open at 7:30 PM

Admission $20.00

Ever wonder what it's like to brand or be branded?

This evening, the renowned Fakir explores the history, myths and realities of this exotic practice. Fakir will demonstrate practical ways Misters and Mistresses can permanently imprint their subject by fire-direct, multiple strike and electro-cautery tools and techniques.

The class will include a vivid slide show of brands being done, results and how-to information on the making and application of "The Kiss of Fire".

Fakir will do several live brands on volunteers.

Volunteers are requested for the demos. Interested?

Contact Fakir Directly at: Fakir@fakir.org

For more information on this dynamic and world renown presenter/teacher and recent inductee into the Society of Janus Hall of Fame, visit his web site at www.fakir.org.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

BDSM/poly discussion group meets Monday night

Jay — Sun, 11 May 2008 16:59:02 GMT

Hi all,

The next meeting of the BDSM/poly discussion group
will be this coming Monday, 05/12 at the SF Citadel.
Doors open at 7:00 and discussion begins at 7:30

This month's group will discuss "time management and needs management." How to balance out scheduling.

$5.00 to $15.00 donation to SF Citadel requested.

RSVP to jaywiseman@yahoo.com appreciated but not
required.

Next meeting: 06/09

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

A class about PAIN!!!

Lark — Sat, 10 May 2008 05:10:14 GMT

"Pain and Catharsis"
SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
Tuesday June 3rd
Class from 8-10PM, Doors opening at 7:30

Would you like to take your masochism to the next
level? Do you wish to have less fear and more
catharsis in your scenes? This class focuses on
exploring and developing ways of channeling
energy/pain, as well as learning to experience
catharsis with authenticity. Each participant will
have the opportunity to try multiple methods for
processing "pain," as well as gain an understanding
of the advantages, disadvantages and potential uses of
these ways of processing sensation in their play. The
class is geared towards
masochists, but sadists and other orientations are
welcome to attend.

Mistress Lark graduated from Humboldt State University with
A Bachelors Degree in Sexual Arts, focusing on the
intersections of Tantra and BDSM. She is a Graduate
of the Journeyman III Academy of California with
advanced training in Leather history, traditions,
spirituality and practice. She has taught in both the
kink and non kink community for years and is happy
to be teaching at the SF Citadel.

Keri has been in the scene for over eight years and is
a cadet at the Journeyman III Academy, class of 2008.
Her column, "Kink in the City" can be read in the
monthly on-line magazine, kink-e-zine.com. Through
BDSM, she has discovered her own power and
strength. She identifies as a slave who is not a
beginner's model.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Is This Poly?

RopeAngel — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 00:09:20 GMT

Lately I've been looking for an extended poly family to hook up with. I don't necessarily mean a situation where everyone in the group is having sex with everyone else. I have a need to feel that I have an intentional family, like-minded people to share my life with, and maybe I would have a sexual relationship with one of them. Or two if I got lucky.

I've tried some ads on various sites, and I've met some interesting people as a result. But 90% of the responses I've had are from married guys whose wives know they are looking. (No problem there, as long is no one is being deceived.) The guys are looking for a sex partner because their wives are lesbian/no longer interested in sex/not kinky/fill in another reason. The wife has no interest in meeting me or inviting me to their home. I would just be the girlfriend on the side.

The guys all say they are "poly" but to me, this seems like just "having an affair with a married guy", not polyamory. I could have multiple relationships like this, each one existing in isolation from the all the others, and it still wouldn't feel like polyamory to me.

Am I wrong? Am I expecting too much? Should I give up looking? Should I re-define poly? Your comments would be welcome. Thanks.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 4 replies

BDSM/poly discussion group meets Monday, 04/14

Jay — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 00:13:13 GMT

Hi all,

The next meeting of the BDSM/poly discussion group will be this coming Monday, 04/14 at the SF Citadel. Doors open at 7:00 and discussion begins at 7:30

This month's group will feature "the fishbowl game" -- a safe and fun group process that is always entertaining and insightful. If you've never played before, come and learn. If you're familiar with the game, come and enjoy.

$5.00 to $15.00 donation to SF Citadel requested.

RSVP to jaywiseman@yahoo.com appreciated but not required.

Next meeting 05/12

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

NY Times article: The fantasy of faithfulness

Jay — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:31:21 GMT

Hi all,

Interesting article, eh?

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 2 replies

what's with all this trust?

Cheif D — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 11:41:18 GMT

why can't we just be slaves to our impulses? yesterday i sat at the bar with 2 buddies, chatting and i think i shocked them when i told them i'm kinky and i like to tie women up. the rope's waiting- in my closet, inside a "victoria's secret" bag, but it needs a volunteer.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 10 replies

Edges Needs Your Help

DonRush — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 07:10:07 GMT

Over the last two decades many public play spaces have flourished and died in the bay area. Edges was built with love in the tradition of the best of these. Now we face a crossroads. The building we occupy is for sale. Ali and Alex are not able to secure a loan to buy it themselves, and unless someone steps up to purchase it from within the community it will be sold to outsiders. IT IS possible the new owners would let us stay, but at this time we have no commitment. As a community, we not only want, but need the support of Each Of You to see this through.

If you know of anyone in a position and with the inclination to buy the building and continue to rent it to Edges, please have them call Alex immediately. In the interim here is the current plan:

In order to continue providing a space to the community, (at this physical location or another) Edges needs financial support from our greater community. Ali has maintained Edges with NO debt for the past two years, yet neither Ali nor Alex take funds from their endeavors with Edges, but rather put all excess back into the space itself. We need the community to take on this same go-give mentality.

Unfortunately Ali is in school full time, just started a new job and is about to begin her internship for her laboratory career; she simply does not have the time to manage this extra workload! Therefore, we are looking for volunteers to manage fundraising events in the next few weeks. We need a General Manager of Fundraising, and people to organize specific events, organize the membership drive, advertise and spread the word, and more!

Please call Alex directly with any ideas or your willingness to take on some of what needs to be done.

Thank you in advance for helping us save this wonderful asset to the community! Know that it is our intent to do everything possible to secure our current location, or ensure we have a new home for all of us!

Alex and Ali
408-496-1132

Zifra has offered to take all general inquiries and offers to help. Please contact her directly:
408-750-7858

We have a minimum of two months in which to raise fund to purchase the space or move! Show us and the community your support:

By committing yourself to visit the space at least ONCE a month, you will be helping us raise our funds. Encourage others online and through word of mouth to visit Edges' events.

If you will increase your membership to the red, blue and black membership levels, you will be contributingto this community endeavor and yourself. Your contributions will ensure that your own membership lasts!
If we have to close the door and are unable to reopen within 6 months, at least 50% of your increased membership will be returned!

Please visit Edges during a play party to increase your membership!
Membership level information can be found here: http://www.edges.biz/memberships.pdf

If the space is lost, these funds will allow Ali and Alex to secure a new space and move Edges to a new home. If the new landlord allows Edges to continue here, the funds will upgrade the space with showers, a full kitchen and the like.

We are committed to either remaining in our current home or moving! We do not plan to close our doors. Please join us in this committement and encourage others to help as well.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Adult Symposium Open House

Fredwrogers — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 19:40:49 GMT

The Adult Symposium (www.adultsymposium.com), would like to invite everyone to a virtual open house on Sunday, March 23rd from 7-11pm EST. Stop by and pay us a visit, meet some new people and make some new friends.

Available for your use: dating, chat rooms, forums, on-site instant messaging, special interest groups, photo galleries, and more.

Looking forward to seeing you there: www.adultsymposium.com

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

No BDSM/poly discussion group in March

Jay — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:41:32 GMT

Hi all,

Well, drat. I'm going to be out of town over the weekend (Tulsa, here I come) and not back until late on Monday, so there will be no BDSM/poly discussion group meeting this month. See you next month, 4/14, for more discussion of "our thing."

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Poly article in Washington Post

Jay — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 00:42:33 GMT

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/12/AR2008021203072_pf.html

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

BDSM/poly discussion group, Monday, 02/11

Jay — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 22:52:32 GMT

Hi all,

The BDSM/poly discussion group will hold its next meeting this coming Monday, 02/11. (We meet on the second Monday of each month.) As usual, it will be at SF Citadel (www.sfcitadel.org). Doors open at seven and discussion begins at 7:30, running till about 9:30 to 10:00. Requested donation is $5.00 to $15.00 per person. Newcomers welcome.

This month's topic: "I learned about poly from that."

All of us who have journeyed into polyamory have had our "learning experiences" -- ranging from nasty to poignant to inspirational to hilarious. Come listen to what other people have learned from experience and, if you like, share some of your own experiences. (If you like, you can also email them to me at the address below to be read aloud at the meeting. Anonymity will be scrupulously respected upon request.) What have you learned from experience about negotiating agreements, communicating effectively, dealing with upsets, managing logistical matters, and just plain coping with it all?

RSVP appreciated but not required to jaywiseman@yahoo.com.

Next meeting scheduled for Monday, 03/10.

This may be forwarded as you feel appropriate.

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

A name for it

Jay — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 23:49:19 GMT

Many years ago, a friend of mine coined a term for the on-going "dwama" associated with the BDSM community. He titled it, "As The Whip Turns." I hereby nominate, to serve a similar function in the poly community, "All My Partners."

In our latest episode, Jody told Tim that she felt that Bill was not respecting her boundaries but Susie told Jamie that Tim and Jody were actually in NRE with Patti. Meanwhile. Brad and Betty decided to become secondaries, but Helen felt that Betty hadn't properly told Brad about the time that Helen and Shirley...

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

BDSM/poly discussion group Monday, 01/14

Jay — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 02:13:22 GMT

Hi all,

The BDSM/poly discussion group will hold its next meeting this coming Monday, 01/14. (We meet on the second Monday of each month.) As usual, it will be at SF Citadel. Doors open at seven and discussion begins at 7:30. Requested donation is $5.00 to $15.00 per person. Newcomers welcome.

This month, law school professor Jay Wiseman (Hey, that's me!) will be holding forth on "legal paperwork for alternative relationships." Come learn what's up regarding wills, advance health care directives, powers of attorney, and suchlike. People in alternative relationships frequently find themselves totally cut off from their loved one by the "real" family when a hospitalization or other serious matter occurs. Don't let this tragedy happen to you. Blank forms will be distributed.

RSVP appreciated but not required to jaywiseman@yahoo.com.

Next meeting scheduled for Monday, 02/11.

This may be forwarded as you feel appropriate.

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 2 replies

Bent and Blood

Phil — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 06:01:49 GMT

Friday December 7th'
Bent and Slap and Tickle present: NOTORIOUS- a play party exclusively for kinky youth

Start Time: 9:00 PM

------------ --------- --------- ---

A chalk outline on the floor... A seductive femme fatale... A scotch swigging private eye... and a smoking gun... I asked myself... what do they all have in common? Suddenly, the answer hit me like a ton of bricks...
NOTORIOUS
In a city known for its debauchery and loose morals, the Slap & Tickle crew has teamed up with creators of Bent to celebrate the dark nuances of Film Noir. Their ladies of the night will seduce you, their gangsters will corrupt you, and you might even come eye to eye with a few private dicks.

DJs Raven and Slaveboy will provide their scintillating sounds.
Upstairs, enjoy snacks, stripper pole, and dance space.
Downstairs, explore 2500+ square feet of sex-positive dungeon space with room for flogging or fucking as takes your fancy.
A private area with a photographer will be available for those who wish a 1950s Hollywood glamor shot.

Friday, Dec 7th, 2007 - 9PM-2AM
SF Citadel - 1277 Mission St

$20 at the door
Volunteer 1 hour and get in free!
Volunteers, questions, comments, or naked pictures, e-mail bent.sf@gmail. com
Tribe at http://tribes. tribe.net/ sfbent

Bent is exclusively for kinky youth. For the purposes of this party, “youth” is 18, 19, 20’s and 30’s.

As always, costumes are appreciated but not required- goth, fetish, basic black, or any sexy/attractive attire is welcome!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______
Saturday December 8th
Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes
Heavy Warning Not for the Squeamish !!
Start Time: 1:00 PM

------------ --------- --------- ---

Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes
Join FifthAngel for a look into the erotic and spiritual art of releasing blood from the human body. We will begin with a safety talk on blood-borne pathogens and infection control. Then, FifthAngel will demonstrate how to perform simple capillary bleeding and progress to more invasive techniques such as arterial bloodletting. This is not a class based on Vampirism, and is not for the squeamish.

Saturday, Dec. 8th
1pm-3pm (doors open at 12:30pm)
Admission: $20 at the door

A martial artist, critical care nurse, and all-around sexual sadist, FifthAngel extracts various elements from his extensive background in martial arts, weapons and firearms training to help create some of the most emotionally and mentally challenging scenes known to BDSM. Adding the title of author to his hobbies, he has written two books, "The Finer Points of Pain and Pleasure," a how-to guide for using pressure points in BDSM scenes, and "Your Pain, My Pleasure: Inside the Mind of a Sexual Sadist."

Branded for playing on the edge, FifthAngel at times demonstrates sexual sadism in its purest sense - a sexual sadist does not enjoy seeing the bottom orgasm from pain. Rather, a sexual sadist is happy seeing the bottom NOT getting pleasure from the emotional or physical pain they are experiencing.

With a goal to educate others to deepen their emotional experiences through BDSM and rites of passage, he has expanded his teachings and demonstrations to include spiritual piercing and flesh hooks. FifthAngel remains an equal opportunity sadist and is always happy to work with volunteers among workshop attendees.

August Knight

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Singletails, Blood, Erotic Hypnosis, and The Cops.. all at SF Citadel.. Dont Miss out!

Phil — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:48:06 GMT

Saturday Dec 1st
All things single tail

Start Time: 1:00 PM

All things single tail

In this class we will discuss the physics and fine tuning of use of single tail in BDSM play and we will also look at a much bigger picture of bullwhips and other forms of single tails. We will learn about, Physics, History, performance, safety, and motivating mammals both large and small. I encourage you to bring your own single tail. I will provide examples for both demonstrations and practice. This class will include, lecture, instruction, Questions and answers, and practice. We will practice targeting, wrapping, and tricks, as well as discussion and practice of the specific use of whips as part of our kinky arsenal.

Saturday, December 1st, 1PM-4PM
Admission: $30

Master Mark M.A. has been Tying people up, pulling hair, Kidnapping fair maidens, suspending people (Hung Harold in a production of "Harold and Maude" in the early 80s) and wielding all manor of nasty implements for 34 years as a Stage Combat Choreographer and Teacher. Mark is a Marriage and Family Therapist licensed in the state of California. He has been active in the BDSM Lifestyle for 10 years and has been counseling alternative lifstylers since becoming a mental health Professional in 1993. He has a California State Teaching Credential in Theater arts. He brings all of this Knowledge and experience to the BDSM lifestyle for the purpose of augmenting, and creating safer BDSM play. Mark’s classes usually involve a good mix of discussion and demonstration, with plenty of opportunities for practice and participation from attendees.
____________________________________________________________
Saturday Dec 8th
Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes

Start Time: 1:00 PM

Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes
Join FifthAngel for a look into the erotic and spiritual art of releasing blood from the human body. We will begin with a safety talk on blood-borne pathogens and infection control. Then, FifthAngel will demonstrate how to perform simple capillary bleeding and progress to more invasive techniques such as arterial bloodletting. This is not a class based on Vampirism, and is not for the squeamish.

Saturday, Dec. 8th
1pm-3pm (doors open at 12:30pm)
Admission: $20 at the door

A martial artist, critical care nurse, and all-around sexual sadist, FifthAngel extracts various elements from his extensive background in martial arts, weapons and firearms training to help create some of the most emotionally and mentally challenging scenes known to BDSM. Adding the title of author to his hobbies, he has written two books, "The Finer Points of Pain and Pleasure," a how-to guide for using pressure points in BDSM scenes, and "Your Pain, My Pleasure: Inside the Mind of a Sexual Sadist."

Branded for playing on the edge, FifthAngel at times demonstrates sexual sadism in its purest sense - a sexual sadist does not enjoy seeing the bottom orgasm from pain. Rather, a sexual sadist is happy seeing the bottom NOT getting pleasure from the emotional or physical pain they are experiencing.

With a goal to educate others to deepen their emotional experiences through BDSM and rites of passage, he has expanded his teachings and demonstrations to include spiritual piercing and flesh hooks. FifthAngel remains an equal opportunity sadist and is always happy to work with volunteers among workshop attendees.

An edge player in all aspects of his life, he enjoys vertical rock and ice climbing as well as high altitude mountaineering.

____________________________________________________
Erotic Hypnosis Workshop
Wednesday, Dec 12th
Start Time: 8:00 PM

Erotic Hypnosis Workshop
by Heron Saline, CHT (www.fullattention.com)

Doors: 7:30pm
Class: 8:00pm - 10:00pm
Admission: $20

Doors: 7:30 pm

Each of us naturally goes into hypnotic states of consciousness every single day of our lives--why not learn how to bring this deep level of mental experience into your play? This fun and informative introductory workshop presents the basics of what hypnosis is and how to safely and creatively use it to enhance your scenes and erotic play including how-to tips, issues of responsibility and care, possible applications, and experiential exercises!

Heron Saline, CHT is a practicing certified Hypnotherapist, Holistic Somatic Energy worker, and member of the Black Leather Wings Radical Faery tribe (Please check out http:// www.fullattention.com)
_______________________________________________
Saturday Dec 15th
BDSM and the Police with Master Rick

Start Time: 2:00 PM

Contact with Law Enforcement at BDSM related events is rare, but the potential problems that can come from a negative police contact can be unpleasant at best. So, how do you deal with an unexpected Law Enforcement contact in a BDSM setting? The presenter, a veteran police officer with a major metropolitan department, has worked in patrol, training, detectives, as a patrol supervisor, and completed his career as a field commander.

In this class, we will offer some strategies play spaces and event organizers can employ to lessen exposure to police action for themselves and their guests. We will talk about how consent does, and does not protect play partners, play between Domestic Partners, and discuss some higher profile past cases. But most importantly, we will look at the real world aspect and offer some practical information on "What should you do when they're knocking at the door

Admission: $20

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

SFCItadel Presents: FifthAngel, BENT, Singletailing classes Plus a lot More!

Phil — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 03:42:11 GMT

Monday November 26th
Whip Works with Darin and Sheila- A Singletail Monthly Workshop

Start Time: 8:00 PM

"Whip Works" with Darin & Sheila
A Singletail Monthly Workshop
"Whip Works" with Darin & Sheila
A Singletail Monthly Workshop
4th Monday of every month
No Class on August or September 2007
Cost is $10.00
8:00 till 10:00

Bring you whips to the S.F. Citadel for a fun evening of practice. Learn to get the most out of you whips and whip scenes by learning from others. The purpose of this gathering is to learn from acquire new skills, polish old ones and to learn from each other.

Whips: Any singletail, snake whip, Bullwhip or stock whip that has an Australian measurement of 6’ or under. There will be a couple of extra whips to share for people that don’t have one if you have an extra to loan please bring it.

Your Hosts:

Darin has been handling whips since childhood. He teaches both east and west coast style whip work locally as well as at national leather events. He will help you refine those trick throws and get the most out of this exciting SM toy.

Sheila has spent years on both ends of a whip. Her role will be to not only give basic instruction on how to use your whip she will give you invaluable insight into what is going on in the mind and body of you bottom. It not enough to learn the mechanics of this toy you MUST understand the physiology before you can call yourself a whip master.
__________________________________________________________
Friday November 30th
Sedusa's Sanctuary

Start Time: 8:00 PM

Mistress August Knight and Maestra Cheyenne present
Sedusa's Sanctuary
Friday, November 30th, 2007
8PM to 1AM
Join us for a night of Female Empowerment at the SF Citadel! Surround yourself with devastating Dominant Women and their male and female guests. Sedusa's is a gathering that is intended to maximize Her pleasure, to provide the sanctuary She needs- and deserves!
The evening will include:
8:30PM-9:30PM- Formal tea with the Northern California Ladies Tea and Discussion Society, facilitated by Domina, the Frugal Domme
10PM- Powerful Whipping Circle led by Cleo Dubois
Dominant women and accompanied subs pay $20 each
Unaccompanied subs will be asked to pay $30 each
Volunteer for one hour for free admission! E-mail SedusaS@gmail.com
Membership required and always available at the door for just $10 (1 year membership)
_______________________________________________________________
Saturday December 1st
All things single tail

Start Time: 1:00 PM

All things single tail

In this class we will discuss the physics and fine tuning of use of single tail in BDSM play and we will also look at a much bigger picture of bullwhips and other forms of single tails. We will learn about, Physics, History, performance, safety, and motivating mammals both large and small. I encourage you to bring your own single tail. I will provide examples for both demonstrations and practice. This class will include, lecture, instruction, Questions and answers, and practice. We will practice targeting, wrapping, and tricks, as well as discussion and practice of the specific use of whips as part of our kinky arsenal.

Saturday, December 1st, 1PM-4PM
Admission: $30

Master Mark M.A. has been Tying people up, pulling hair, Kidnapping fair maidens, suspending people (Hung Harold in a production of "Harold and Maude" in the early 80s) and wielding all manor of nasty implements for 34 years as a Stage Combat Choreographer and Teacher. Mark is a Marriage and Family Therapist licensed in the state of California. He has been active in the BDSM Lifestyle for 10 years and has been counseling alternative lifstylers since becoming a mental health Professional in 1993. He has a California State Teaching Credential in Theater arts. He brings all of this Knowledge and experience to the BDSM lifestyle for the purpose of augmenting, and creating safer BDSM play. Mark’s classes usually involve a good mix of discussion and demonstration, with plenty of opportunities for practice and participation from attendees.
________________________________________
Saturday Night Dec 1st
Fourth Annual Victorian Kinky Christmas party
Open Play Party
Start Time: 8:00 PM

Fourth Annual Victorian Kinky Christmas party
SFCitadel 1277 Mission St
Sat December 1, 2007 8pm - 1 am
$20 ($5 discount if in Victorian garb or donating an ornament)
This is a very special Open Play Party, with Holiday and Victorian themes. Many of us will first spend the day at the Dickens Corset Faire, a reconstruction of Victorian London, as Charles Dickens saw it. Pay special attention to Mad Sal’s, the Dark Garden windows, and the Naughty French Postcards show (5:30?). See dickensfair.com for info on the Faire, but they know nothing of the kinky party. Then we’ll wear our holiday finest to the dungeon, and help decorate the Citadel’s tree. And we’ll recreate kinky scenes inspired by the repressed sexuality of Dickens’ time. Perhaps organize a game of “strip Whist”, or “kinky Wink”. Certainly some dominance and submission. Consider a nice caning, or an over-the-knee spanking. They don’t call it “the English vice” for nothing. Whether you celebrate Winter Solstice, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or simply the snow season, come enjoy decking the tree with colorful ornaments and other pretties. We'll whip that tree into shape, and Top it with a dominant symbol of the season.
Those who haven’t been to an event at SFCitadel should note that while this is a warm and safe environment, you’ll be exposed to people exploring some extreme erotic fantasies. This makes Postcards look quite tame. All genders and orientations welcome.
______________________________________________________
Monday Dec 3rd
Upstairs class
100 Ways to Play

Start Time: 7:30 PM

100 Ways to Play: a Catalog of Kink with Angela and Iain at SF Citadel, in SOMA district of San Francisco 1277 Mission St at Ninth St Monday, December 3rd, 2007 doors 7:00, program 7:30 - 10:30 ish PM $10 - $20, sliding scale, notaflof groups.yahoo.com/group/EduKink edukink.tribe.net EduKink.org sfcitadel.org At a good party, you?ll see dozens of different techniques in action. Which ones are easier? What are they called? How do you learn them? Which players are safe and competent, versus merely flamboyant, or even dangerous? We cover all the techniques you?re likely to see in a dungeon or be asked to try. For each we include what it looks like, what it feels like for the top and bottom, what it?s really about, safety, equipment, difficulty, and how to learn it. Coverage includes techniques in ten groups: Bondage, Dominance/submission, Electrical, Fetish, Impact, Medical, Psychological, Role-play, Sensation, and Sex play. Because of limited time, we cannot fully teach every technique, but this program prepares you to select and attend specialized classes in the individual techniques that interest you. - - Angela and Iain are officers in the Society of Janus, Dungeon Monitors for SF Citadel and elsewhere, and teach BDSM classes at all levels, at many venues. Their teaching style combines humor and approachability with clarity and thorough research. Reservations not required. Membership not required. You don't need to bring or wear anything special. If time is tight, you can bring dinner to eat during the class. The class is open to anyone 18 years and older with a sincere, positive, personal interest in BDSM / leather / kink. All roles, genders, and orientations welcome. If you have questions you may write to edukink AT yahoo DOT com - - More information at EduKink.org
_______
Monday Dec 3rd
Downstairs
Rope Bondage Peer Workshop

Start Time: 7:30 PM

Join your hostess, Lane, for The Rope Bondage Peer Workshop, a space for people to work on skills and technique with rope bondage. Whether you've never tied a knot or you've been using rope for years, show up, practice, learn at your own pace from your peers, learn out of a book, or learn what it feels like to be on both sides of the rope. Come alone or bring a friend!
RSVPs are not required.
Admission: We request a $5 - $15 donation to support the SF Citadel
For more info, please visit www.sfrope.org
____________________________________________________________
Friday December 7th'
Bent and Slap and Tickle present: NOTORIOUS- a play party exclusively for kinky youth

Start Time: 9:00 PM

A chalk outline on the floor... A seductive femme fatale... A scotch swigging private eye... and a smoking gun... I asked myself... what do they all have in common? Suddenly, the answer hit me like a ton of bricks...
NOTORIOUS
In a city known for its debauchery and loose morals, the Slap & Tickle crew has teamed up with creators of Bent to celebrate the dark nuances of Film Noir. Their ladies of the night will seduce you, their gangsters will corrupt you, and you might even come eye to eye with a few private dicks.

DJs Raven and Slaveboy will provide their scintillating sounds.
Upstairs, enjoy snacks, stripper pole, and dance space.
Downstairs, explore 2500+ square feet of sex-positive dungeon space with room for flogging or fucking as takes your fancy.
A private area with a photographer will be available for those who wish a 1950s Hollywood glamor shot.

Friday, Dec 7th, 2007 - 9PM-2AM
SF Citadel - 1277 Mission St

$20 at the door
Volunteer 1 hour and get in free!
Volunteers, questions, comments, or naked pictures, e-mail bent.sf@gmail.com
Tribe at tribes.tribe.net/sfbent

Bent is exclusively for kinky youth. For the purposes of this party, “youth” is 18, 19, 20’s and 30’s.

As always, costumes are appreciated but not required- goth, fetish, basic black, or any sexy/attractive attire is welcome!
______________________________________________________
Saturday December 8th
Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes
Heavy Warning Not for the Squeamish !!
Start Time: 1:00 PM

Fluid of Life: Blood Scenes
Join FifthAngel for a look into the erotic and spiritual art of releasing blood from the human body. We will begin with a safety talk on blood-borne pathogens and infection control. Then, FifthAngel will demonstrate how to perform simple capillary bleeding and progress to more invasive techniques such as arterial bloodletting. This is not a class based on Vampirism, and is not for the squeamish.

Saturday, Dec. 8th
1pm-3pm (doors open at 12:30pm)
Admission: $20 at the door

A martial artist, critical care nurse, and all-around sexual sadist, FifthAngel extracts various elements from his extensive background in martial arts, weapons and firearms training to help create some of the most emotionally and mentally challenging scenes known to BDSM. Adding the title of author to his hobbies, he has written two books, "The Finer Points of Pain and Pleasure," a how-to guide for using pressure points in BDSM scenes, and "Your Pain, My Pleasure: Inside the Mind of a Sexual Sadist."

Branded for playing on the edge, FifthAngel at times demonstrates sexual sadism in its purest sense - a sexual sadist does not enjoy seeing the bottom orgasm from pain. Rather, a sexual sadist is happy seeing the bottom NOT getting pleasure from the emotional or physical pain they are experiencing.

With a goal to educate others to deepen their emotional experiences through BDSM and rites of passage, he has expanded his teachings and demonstrations to include spiritual piercing and flesh hooks. FifthAngel remains an equal opportunity sadist and is always happy to work with volunteers among workshop attendees.

An edge player in all aspects of his life, he enjoys vertical rock and ice climbing as well as high altitude mountaineering.
__________________________________________________

Flea and Fandango, December 9th Sun,

It’s that time again!

Mark your calendars. Lady Thorns SM Community Exchange and Fandango is on December 9th.

An afternoon at the Bizarre Flea, topped off with a Fandango party at the SF Citadel, will make for a really memorable day.

Come join us for a great day of socializing, shopping, playing and enjoying a San Francisco Leather Tradition.

If you are a vendor or know of a vendor, please forward this to them.

On December 9th, 2007:

Please join Lady Thorn, Kinky Crafts people, Artisans, Leather, Fetish and SM Community members on Sunday December 9th, for the third "SM Community Exchange" of 2007!

This is the original San Francisco Leather Swap Meet and has been going on since December of 1983.

Vendors range from many of the best toy makers in the country, artists, authors, photographers, fetish clothing makers, personal collections and one of a kind items for the connoisseurs in us.

Socialize with leather/fetish folk at this three times a year event.

Date: Sunday December 9th, 2007
Address: 942 Mission Street
(between 5th and 6th Streets)
Doors open at 2:00 PM
Admission to the Bizarre Flea is only $5.00

Vendor Info: contact Lady Thorn @ 415/642-1448
Vender Set up: 12:30 PM

Easy parking at the 5th and Mission garage.

Continue the fun by joining us at Fandango.

We will weave our magic inside the SF Citadel with our special lighting and music, providing you with an environment where your energy can soar.

Admission will be available at the Fandango table inside the SM Community Exchange or at the door.

We provide special food, soft drinks, safer sex supplies and a wonderful fun place to play.

Please bring your toys (old and new) and hot energy.

Admission: $20.00 at the SM Flea, $25.00 at the door.

Sunday, December 9th, 2007
6:30PM to 12:00 PM
The SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

Work exchange is always needed, contact us for work exchange please.

For further info or to help with the party, please check out our
websites at:

www.sfcitadel.org
www.smflea.com

PS: the next Exchange and Fandango will be April 13, 2007.

Usually held the second Sunday in April, August and December.

Thanks

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Flea and Fandango, December 9th

Phil — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 19:53:43 GMT

Hi everyone

It’s that time again!

Mark your calendars. Lady Thorns SM Community Exchange and Fandango is on December 9th, just a couple of weeks away.

An afternoon at the Bizarre Flea, topped off with a Fandango party at the SF Citadel, will make for a really memorable day.

Come join us for a great day of socializing, shopping, playing and enjoying a San Francisco Leather Tradition.

If you are a vendor or know of a vendor, please forward this to them.

On December 9th, 2007:

Please join Lady Thorn, Kinky Crafts people, Artisans, Leather, Fetish and SM Community members on Sunday December 9th, for the third "SM Community Exchange" of 2007!

This is the original San Francisco Leather Swap Meet and has been going on since December of 1983.

Vendors range from many of the best toy makers in the country, artists, authors, photographers, fetish clothing makers, personal collections and one of a kind items for the connoisseurs in us.

Socialize with leather/fetish folk at this three times a year event.

Date: Sunday December 9th, 2007
Address: 942 Mission Street
(between 5th and 6th Streets)
Doors open at 2:00 PM
Admission to the Bizarre Flea is only $5.00

Vendor Info: contact Lady Thorn @ 415/642-1448
Vender Set up: 12:30 PM

Easy parking at the 5th and Mission garage.

Continue the fun by joining us at Fandango.

We will weave our magic inside the SF Citadel with our special lighting and music, providing you with an environment where your energy can soar.

Admission will be available at the Fandango table inside the SM Community Exchange or at the door.

We provide special food, soft drinks, safer sex supplies and a wonderful fun place to play.

Please bring your toys (old and new) and hot energy.

Admission: $20.00 at the SM Flea, $25.00 at the door.

Sunday, December 9th, 2007
6:30PM to 12:00 PM
The SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

Work exchange is always needed, contact us for work exchange please.

For further info or to help with the party, please check out our
websites at:

www.sfcitadel.org
www.smflea.com

PS: the next Exchange and Fandango will be April 13, 2007.

Usually held the second Sunday in April, August and December.

Thanks

P.S Please forward this to all who you feel should know about it.
reply to this post

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Sf Citadel Booth at Folsom

Phil — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:56:28 GMT

Thursday Nov 1st
Kinky Relationships

Start Time: 7:30 PM
Kinky Relationships with Angela and Iain Thursday,November 1st, 2007 doors 7:00, program 7:30 ? 10:30ish PM at SF Citadel, 1277 Mission Street, San Francisco at Ninth St. $10 - $20, sliding scale, notaflof http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/EduKink http://edukink. tribe.net http://EduKink. org http://SFCitadel. org This class covers the basics of starting a longer-term kinky, Ds, fetish, or SM relationship and keeping it successful. Learn the differences and similarities between kinky and vanilla relationships. How to prepare yourself for success. Identify suitable long-term partners vs. play partners. How to develop your partner, and cultivate the relationship. - - Angela and Iain are officers in the Society of Janus, Dungeon Monitors for SF Citadel and elsewhere, and teach BDSM classes at all levels, at many venues.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

November 2nd and 3rd
We have Two Open Play Parties this weekend, Friday and Saturday Night
Open play party

Start Time: 8:00 PM

Join us in the city's premier play space! We'll provide play structures, safer sex supplies, scene music, munchies, water ... and ambiance. You bring your implements of choice, and your hot energy!
RSVPs are not required.
Admission: $20 per person
For work exchange (a one hour volunteer shifts earns you free entry!), contact sfcitadelvolunteers @gmail.com

Membership required! One year membership available at the door for only $10. Members can have up to three guests.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Monday November 5th
Rope Bondage Peer Workshop

Start Time: 7:30 PM
Join your hostess, Lane, for The Rope Bondage Peer Workshop, a space for people to work on skills and technique with rope bondage. Whether you've never tied a knot or you've been using rope for years, show up, practice, learn at your own pace from your peers, learn out of a book, or learn what it feels like to be on both sides of the rope. Come alone or bring a friend!
RSVPs are not required.
Admission: We request a $5 - $15 donation to support the SF Citadel
For more info, please visit www.sfrope. org
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Tuesday November 6th
The Serpent's Kiss with Tantric Eve

Start Time: 8:00 PM

The Serpent's Kiss with Tantric Eve
Tuesday November 6th, 2007
8 -10 pm (doors open at 7:30pm)
$20.00 per person

Oftentimes, when we think of someone using a whip, it is some lone male stranger with his whip in his hand ready to take on all comers and best them all with a mere flick of the wrist. From a female perspective, I am reminded more
of the serpent in the garden...a sleek and streamlined, enticing, graceful, stealthy, and yes phallic, creature with a viscious bite.

I will start this class by covering some basic safety concerns and tips on how to play with your whips in a public play space. We will talk a little bit about the construction of a whip so that you can better understand how and why it reacts the way it does, when it is thrown or sent. Lastly and more importantly - I am not going to tell you how to throw your whips, that is up to you to develop your own style, but what I will share with you is how I view my play with my whips and how I play with sensuality, subtlety and finesse. Please feel free to bring both your own 'serpents' and questions.

Active in the BDSM lifestyle and community, for more than 10 years, as both a top and bottom, Eve picked up her first single tail more than 2 years ago and has never looked back. Since her ongoing apprenticeship to Viper of Viper's Leatherworks, she has come to know whips inside and out, from filling the shot bags and making the bellies to raising goosebumps on her bottom’s skin with that first crack of her whip. She is also on staff at the SF Citadel, making the flyers and print work and is the host for the Singles Events.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____
November 8th
Paideia playshop - munch, class

Start Time: 7:30 PM
Paideia means "learning through play". It's a monthly series of hands-on playshops, to learn various erotic, kinky, or dating skills. More than 20 topics are in rotation. The topic for a given class is announced about a week in advance. Paideia is usually on second Thursday at SFCitadel.

See http://EduKink. org
Join http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/EduKink
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
November 9th Friday
Monthly All-Male Dungeon Party:

Start Time: 8:00 PM
Join us for hot male-on-male action in San Francisco's premier dungeon space! We provide slings and crosses and cages and bondage tables and lockers and lounge chairs and safer sex supplies - plus some other surprises! Check it out!
Volunteers play for free. Here's the volunteer lineup: - Set-up (2 guys, 7pm) - Clean-up (3 guys, 1am) - Dungeon Monitors (must be trained and certified) - Desk (1 per hour) - Locker attendant/runner (1 per hour) Note that with the layout at the new place, we don't need a lonely door person, but we do need someone to manage the locker keys, keep chip bowls full, put out safer sex supplies as needed, and keep the place tidy during the party so that the final cleanup goes a little bit quicker. To volunteer, contact sfomaster@yahoo. com
Admission: $20 per person RSVPs are not requiredriday

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Saturday November 10th
Open Play Party
Please Come and Help Phil Celebrate His Birthday with Cake and a Song!

Start Time: 8:00 PM

Join us in the city's premier play space! We'll provide play structures, safer sex supplies, scene music, munchies, water ... and ambiance. You bring your implements of choice, and your hot energy!
RSVPs are not required.
Admission: $20 per person
For work exchange (a one hour volunteer shifts earns you free entry!), contact sfcitadelvolunteers @gmail.com

Membership required! One year membership available at the door for only $10. Members can have up to three guests
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
November12th Monday
BDSM/Polyamory Discussion Group

Start Time: 7:30 PM
Held at the SF Citadel on the second Monday of each
month. Doors open at 7:00. Meeting from 7:30 to
9:30.
Join us for discussion, sharing, and occasional
speakers on the unique challenges and joys facing
those who are both into BDSM and also non-monogamous.
This discussion group is facilitated by noted BDSM and
polyamory author Jay Wiseman, moderator of the Bay
Area BDSM Polyamory tribe on www.tribe.net and the
BDSM and Polyamory association on
www.free-associatio n.net. It is open to SF Citadel
members and their accompanied guests.
This is a "welcoming" event and people of all
relationship types, including singles, and all
genders, gender identifications, sexual orientations,
and so forth are welcome.
RSVP to Jay Wiseman at jaywiseman@yahoo. com
(www.jaywiseman. com) appreciated but not required.
We request a donation of $5.00 to $15.00 per person to the SF
Citadel for hosting this event- help us support our community dungeon space!
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _
Thursday November 15th
Terror Play with Lisa Razzo

Start Time: 8:00 PM
Terror Play

For those of us that like our ride a little bumpy with a few loop-de-loops thrown in just for kicks, this class will be the ticket. Learn about building suspense and creating fear within a safe(r) container. Lisa’s got tricks up her sleeve that will have the most stoic of bottoms trembling in their boots. Hot, sharp, pointy things will be the plat du jour. You will be treated to a delectable demonstration of Lisa’s idea of a twisted thrill ride with her bottom who just so happens to love being terrified. Not for the faint of heart.

Admission: $20
Doors open at 7:30PM, class from 8PM-10PM

Born in San Francisco, Lisa Razzo was introduced to the enchantment of sexual power exchange at an early age. Serving as slave in an old guard family some 30 years ago, she later became a pro Domme and trained under some of the best, including Cynthia Slater. In her aspiration to be a sex goddess, she has played all over the BDSM map with leather folk across the globe, and loves nothing more than to share the magic of BDSM. Her life's passion has been to foster ultimate joy and freedom in the carnal realm and make the mysteries of BDSM accessible for others. Lisa identifies as a gender-bending switch; enjoying the beauty of being fluid and spontaneous, while incorporating D/s into her play whenever possible. She is The Exiles' New Member Orientation Officer.&nb sp; She has presented in various capacities , most recently teaching classes at The Citadel, The Exiles and LLW. Known for her sense of humor and warmth, she holds a vast amount of knowledge in a colorful and very
kinky bag.
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

Please feel free to copy and repost where appropriate !!

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

San Francisco Poly Conference Saturday, 11/03

Jay — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 15:45:51 GMT

Hi all,

The good folks associated with Loving More are putting on a most excellent poly conference in SF on Saturday, 11/03. For more info please see http://www.lovemore.com/sfseminar.shtm

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

The Adult Symposium - Lifestyle Community

Fredwrogers — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:40:29 GMT

Greetings fellow lifestyler's. I would like to share a link to a new lifestyle community called The Adult Symposium. Tired of the fake and just plain nasty people which overrun many of the free lifestyle sites, we decided to set up a site with more of a community feel to it. While there are dating functions to the site, that is not it's strength or primary focus. We don't charge our members, nor do we have any intention to. We remember the good old days of the Usenet groups, where people freely exchanged their interests and information, and we remember why that was good. We're looking to network and exchange members and information with other online communities, such as the various lifestyle Tribes, as well as local groups from all over. We're hoping to share a friendly, educational and fun experience with other lifestyler's from around the world, and would love to hear from you as well. If anyone would be interested in working on areas of exchange, such as informational articles, local or online gatherings and events, or any other creative ways of networking, we would love to hear your ideas. If you'd like to stop by and say hello, our website is located at:

www.adultsyposium.com

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 1 reply

really rocky times in poly households

katey — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:08:42 GMT

I have noticed that one of the most difficult things I have experienced in poly lifestyle is when there are rocky moments between 2 of the members of our family. Because we are a D/s family, the primary foundation of relationships seem to be with our Dominant rather than between submissives. There was a submissive woman that entered our family for a time and when the relationship between my Dominant and she got too rocky, they broke up. This caused my relationship with her to be cut off instantly though we did not have problems between the two of us. At the time it left a strange feeling as we were cut off from one another without any real sense of closure. I dont really know how to describe it. There is another woman in our family that came to be part of our family about 5 years ago. She and I have had a number of times over the years where our differences or disagreements would have ended our relationship had it been between only the two of us, but because neither was ready to end our relationship with our Dom, we have begrudgingly been forced to put up with each other and like children in the same house must find a way to make up and live together. Other times, when my Dom and I have had problems she has been the glue that held us together and when it is she, I think there have been times that I was that glue. When my Dominant and I have problems, she is the first to defend my perspective and I hers when the tables are turned. She and I seem to have that sisterly love that is present in biological families as a result. We care very much for one another, but have a tendency to poubt or be irritatied from time to time with each other. While there are times that I think she would be content to have me not in the picture, and while there are times that I might think that way when I am particularly annoyed, she is very much a part of my life and even though we get fed up or mad at each other from time to time, I imagine if she were not there, it would leave a hollow place in my life and in my heart. I guess the main idea behind this post is that I find that being 3 holds us and binds all of us together far more than a 2 person monogomous relationship would. We truly are a family because we are stuck with each other, care for each other, and bound together by each other. What are your thoughts/experiences with this?

katey_para_Sol

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

BDSM/poly discussion group this Monday (10/08)

Jay — Sun, 07 Oct 2007 17:09:19 GMT

Hi all,

OK, tomorrow night is our regularly scheduled meeting of the BDSM poly discussion group. (We meet on the second Monday of each month.) As usual, it will be at SF Citadel. Doors open at seven and discussion begins at 7:30. Requested donation is $5.00 to $15.00 per person.

This month, Pepper will be facilitating a discussion on the various forms of nonmonogamy in the BDSM community. What is it about BDSM that makes people lean towards nonmonogamy? What are the different forms of nonmonogamy in the community? How should we address cheating in the BDSM community? Is there some way that poly people can facilitate various other forms nonmonogamy within the kink community?

RSVP appreciated but not required to jaywiseman@yahoo.com.

Best,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Monday, 08/13 BDSM/Poly Discussion Group

Jay — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 16:35:12 GMT

BDSM/Polyamory Discussion Group

Held at the SF Citadel on the second Monday of each month. Doors open at 7:00. Meeting from 7:30 to 9:30.

Join us for discussion, sharing, and speakers on the unique challenges and joys facing those who are both into BDSM and also non-monogamous.

This discussion group is facilitated by noted BDSM and polyamory author Jay Wiseman, moderator of the Bay Area BDSM Polyamory tribe on www.tribe.net and the BDSM and Polyamory association on www.free-association.net. This is a private event open to SF Citadel members and their accompanied guests. Confidentiality rules apply.

Mini-program: Local therapist William Henkin will be speaking on abuse issues.

This is a "welcoming" event and people of all relationship types, including singles, and all genders, gender identifications, sexual orientations, and so forth are welcome.

RSVP to Jay Wiseman at jaywiseman@yahoo.com (www.jaywiseman.com) appreciated but not required.

To be placed on the Bay Area BDSM/Poly announce list (very low volume) please send a request for same to jaywiseman@yahoo.com.

To support our community dungeon space, be prepared to donate $5.00 to $15.00 per person (no checks, please) to the SF Citadel for hosting this event. (Try to donate at least $10.00. They do, after all, have bills to pay.)

The next meeting is scheduled for Monday, 09/10. Please mark your calendar.

This message may be forwarded as appropriate.

The SF Citadel is located at 1277 Mission St in San Francisco.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

SM Flea and Fandango

Phil — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 06:57:39 GMT

Hi everyone

It’s that time again!

Mark your calendars. Lady Thorns SM Community Exchange and Fandango is on August 12th, just a couple of weeks away.

An afternoon at the Bizarre Flea, topped off with a Fandango party at the SF Citadel, will make for a really memorable day.

Come join us for a great day of socializing, shopping, playing and enjoying a San Francisco Leather Tradition.

If you are a vendor or know of a vendor, please forward this to them.

On August 12th, 2007:

Please join Lady Thorn, Kinky Crafts people, Artisans, Leather, Fetish and SM Community members on Sunday August 12th, for the second "SM Community Exchange" of 2007!

This is the original San Francisco Leather Swap Meet and has been going on since December of 1983.

Vendors range from many of the best toy makers in the country, artists, authors, photographers, fetish clothing makers, personal collections and one of a kind items for the connoisseurs in us.

Socialize with leather/fetish folk at this three times a year event.

Date: Sunday August 12, 2007
Address: 942 Mission Street
(between 5th and 6th Streets)
Doors open at 2:00 PM
Admission to the Bizarre Flea is only $5.00

Vendor Info: contact Lady Thorn @ 415/642-1448
Vender Set up: 12:30 PM

Easy parking at the 5th and Mission garage.

Continue the fun by joining us at Fandango.

We will weave our magic inside the SF Citadel with our special lighting and music, providing you with an environment where your energy can soar.

Admission will be available at the Fandango table inside the SM Community Exchange or at the door.

We provide special food, soft drinks, safer sex supplies and a wonderful fun place to play.

Please bring your toys (old and new) and hot energy.

Admission: $20.00 at the SM Flea, $25.00 at the door.

Sunday, August 12, 2007
6:30PM to 12:00 PM
The SF Citadel
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

Work exchange is always needed, contact us for work exchange please.

For further info or to help with the party, please check out our
websites at:

www.sfcitadel.org
www.smflea.com

PS: the next Exchange and Fandango will be December 9th, 2007.

Usually held the second Sunday in April, August and December.

Thanks

P.S Please forward this to all who you feel should know about it.
reply to this post

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 2 replies

Is there a BDSM Polyamory Group in Los Angeles?

bryce_hollywood — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 09:34:48 GMT

I am living in the Los Angeles area and would like to ask if there are any members here that would like to form a group in the Los Angeles area?

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Monday, July 9th BDSM-Poly Discussion Group

Jay — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 21:24:38 GMT

BDSM/Polyamory Discussion Group

Held at the SF Citadel on the second Monday of each month. Doors open at 7:00. Meeting from 7:30 to 9:30.

Join us for discussion, sharing, and occasional speakers on the unique challenges and joys facing those who are both into BDSM and also non-monogamous.

This discussion group is facilitated by noted BDSM and polyamory author Jay Wiseman, moderator of the Bay Area BDSM Polyamory tribe on www.tribe.net and the BDSM and Polyamory association on www.free-association.net. It is open to SF Citadel members and their accompanied guests.

Mini-program: Noted local sex-positive counselor Kathy Labriola will be speaking on "the unique challenges and opportunities of BDSM-Poly relationships"

This is a "welcoming" event and people of all relationship types, including singles, and all genders, gender identifications, sexual orientations, and so forth are welcome.

RSVP to Jay Wiseman at jaywiseman@yahoo.com (www.jaywiseman.com) appreciated but not required.

To support our community dungeon space, be prepared to donate $5.00 to $15.00 per person (no checks, please) to the SF Citadel for hosting this event. (Try to donate at least $10.00. They do, after all, have bills to pay.)

The SF Citadel is located at 1277 Mission St in San Francisco.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

At the SF Citadel this week!

Phil — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 13:38:02 GMT

Tuesday June 12th
Rope Bondage You Can Actually Use with Jay Wiseman

Start Time: 8:00 PM

---------------------------------

Tuesday, June 12th
8PM-10PM (doors open at 7:30PM)
Admission: $20

Do you want to tie up your lover but aren't sure of
how to go about it? Have you ever attended a bondage
demonstration of spectacular techniques but returned
home with no idea of how to tie them yourself?

Come spend some entertaining and educational time with
one of the world's top BDSM educators, the author of
"SM 101: A Realistic Introduction" and "Jay Wiseman's
Erotic Bondage Handbook" -- both published by Greenery
Press, and the producer of the excellent video "Jay
Wiseman Teaches Basic Rope Bondage" to learn some
simple, easy to learn, safe, and widely usable bondage
techniques.

Jay travels throughout the country teaching bondage
techniques ranging from the very basic to the very
advanced. In this session, he will present the
who, what, where, when, and why of rope bondage, followed
by a demonstration and practice session of some
user-friendly yet wickedly effective techniques from
his highly recommended book for tying single-limb
cuffs, double-limb cuffs, spread-eagles, hogties, and
arm harnesses -- and you will be able to both remember
and use these techniques when you get home!

Jay is the author of the frequently recommended book
"SM 101: A Realistic Introduction" and the founder of
the publishing company that later became Greenery
Press. His book, "Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage
Handbook" is widely hailed as the book that sets the
standard of fundamental knowledge for this practice.
___________________________________________________
Thursday June 14th
Sweet Spot: Inverted Double Flogging playshop

Start Time: 7:30 PM

---------------------------------

See http://Edukink.org
_____________________________________________________\
Friday June 15
Men's Play Party

Start Time: 8:00 PM

---------------------------------

Join us for hot male-on-male action in San Francisco's premier dungeon space! We provide slings and crosses and cages and bondage tables and lockers and lounge chairs and safer sex supplies - plus some other surprises! Check it out!
Volunteers play for free. Here's the volunteer lineup: - Set-up (2 guys, 7pm) - Clean-up (3 guys, 1am) - Dungeon Monitors (must be trained and certified) - Desk (1 per hour) - Locker attendant/runner (1 per hour) Note that with the layout at the new place, we don't need a lonely door person, but we do need someone to manage the locker keys, keep chip bowls full, put out safer sex supplies as needed, and keep the place tidy during the party so that the final cleanup goes a little bit quicker. To volunteer, contact sfomaster@yahoo.com
Admission: $20 per person RSVPs are not required

______________________________________________________
Saturday June 16th afternoon
hat Draws Us to the Flame? (Psychology of BDSM)

Start Time: 1:00 PM

---------------------------------

Master Mark M.A.
Instructor/Discussion Leader
MasterMarkMA@.aol.com

This Class will explore such questionable theories as: “Most people who indulge in BDSM activities are either consciously, or unconsciously working through past issues or life traumas.” “Bottoms and/or submissives have self esteem problems.” “BDSM is just another form of addiction.” “BDSM relationships, by their nature, are more complex and intimate than non BDSM relationships.” And topics like: What to do when a psychological land mine is encountered. Psychological, and emotional aftercare. (Post activity drop) “The fit.” (Top/bottom, Dom Sub, Sadist/Masochist, Checklist) BDSM as stress reliever. Types of personalities drawn to the community, and which ones to watch out for. When to seek out a Kink Aware Therapist. Humiliation? How important is creative ability, and a good imagination for a successful D/s relationship. A look at some definitions of Dom/sub, Top/bottom, Master/slave. And many other potential topics to be explored as time allows.

Resources for this class and discussion will be, my knowledge as a Mental Health professional and Kink Aware Therapist, my experience in the BDSM Lifestyle, and the experiences of you the participants in this class. Because of the nature of this discussion I ask that the participants observe confidentiality within the class group, as well as observing the general confidentiality protocols most of us seem to have naturally when relating to the larger BDSM community, and to the general public. There will be a cut off time for Late Attendees in order to insure group cohesion and confidentiality. (Most likely ½ hour after start time, to allow for traffic and other variables.)
Admission: $30 at the door
______________________________________
Saturday Night OPEN PLAY
Open Play Party

Start Time: 8:00 PM

---------------------------------

Join us in the city's premier play space! We'll provide play structures, safer sex supplies, scene music, munchies, water ... and ambiance. You bring your implements of choice, and your hot energy!
RSVPs are not required.
Admission: $20 per person
For work exchange (a one hour volunteer shifts earns you free entry!), contact sfcitadelvolunteers@gmail.com

Membership required! One year membership available at the door for only $10. Members can have up to three guests.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

greetings, just an introduction... fairly new to tribe and the BDSM community as a whole... (anyone in NJ?)

lostfoundlostagain — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:05:03 GMT

my Daddy and i have been living together since Jan, our relationship growing stronger each day. We've expressed interest in a poly family, and are slowly taking the time to find the right girl. Right now i'm just looking to meet other people, both in and out of the scene. i moved to NJ to be with Daddy, and although i've met a few people, i'm still pretty lonely some days while Daddy's at work. Hrm, well that's about it for me...

~T

http://www.myspace.com/daddy_s_t
my BDSM profile

http://www.myspace.com/duchesstitania

my (somewhat) vanilla profile

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Master wants Poly ... Help me!

RealnTampa — Tue, 08 May 2007 15:45:39 GMT

I am a Bi-sub to my Master, in my former life I was a vanilla straight wife and mother for 17 years. After my divorce I met my Master and he introduced me to BDSM and bisexuality. Master also introduced me to my dominate side as well. However I am only sub to him and I am Domme with women. I see no other men in our lifestyle. I feel I have served well as a sub, Master has said so with the exception of being able to have a poly life.

I am bi and we have had several bi friends that join us traditional 3-sums and BDSM. These relationships have been based on the connection that the woman and I share. His involvement has been friends and sexual to a point. I have been alone with the woman, he has not. I have not been able to be comfortable with him being one on one with someone else, much less someone else moving in with us. I am ok as things happen in a BDSM scene, when traditional intimacy is involved I can not handle it.

I had a very rough childhood, my mother ran off and I was shipped from home to home, All the men I have ever known in my life have been cheaters and I am also a victim of Sexual Child Abuse by my step father. I have never had a stable life. Due to these issues in my past I have a strong need for a 1-1 relationship and if my partner gets involved with someone else I feel very threatened. The only way I can handle this right now is to become distant and back off which leaves me alone and he frustrated.

Yes we are in love, and live together. We have a very normal and vanilla life outside other women. Master does not want to do B/D with me. Says since he loves me he cannot do that with me any more, which also leaves me wanting as a sub.

Master's wish is to have a poly household. I can no longer have children due to cancer (have 2 from my marriage) he has none. I am sure he would like to have a child from this poly relationship as well. Also leaving me to feel inadequate as a woman and his mate.

Feeling lost, alone and confused. Right now I wonder if the right thing to do is to say goodbye so he can find the one that can give him all of his desires. We do love each other so, there is no question of that. I would never stop loving him and know I would miss him the rest of my life.

As for a woman in my life: Yes I do enjoy being with women, however for me it is just sexual .. a good friendship with sex. My Master wants a 2nd for him as a girlfriend/sub which includes time alone excluding me. When I am with a woman it is very different for me, it is not like if I were with a man. I hope this makes sense.

Is it hopeless...... ? I want us to be happy .. but I know if we go into a poly relationship and I can't handle it .. I am afraid it would be over.
How can I get over my issues and make this work?

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 8 replies

Real People seeking other Real people in Tampa Florida?

RealnTampa — Thu, 17 May 2007 18:27:57 GMT

I am in the BDSM life and looking to Poly or Poly curious females in the Tampa area or anyone willing to relocate if the fit is right.
I know there is a SF Bay Area group. Any news on the Tampa Bay area?

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Special "Help Jay Get To LLC" bargains

Jay — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 20:52:09 GMT

Hi all,

To help cover the cost of my plane fare to the Leather Leadership Conference (LLC) in Minneapolis next month, I'm offering special discounts on autographed copies of my books and DVD.

My presentation (assuming that I can raise the funds to get there <G>) will be on organizational liability regarding presenters. This is an issue that can be critically important to the survival of an organization. Your help in making sure I can get there to give the presentation will be greatly appreciated.

For a limited time, the following items are for sale directly by me at the following prices, which include first-class postage:

DVD: "Jay Wiseman Teaches Basic Rope Bondage" (More than two hours of instruction on the theory and practice of rope bondage.) Special Price: $29.00

"SM 101: A Realistic Introduction -- Special price: $24.00

"Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook" -- Special price $15.00

"Tricks...to Please A Man" -- Special price: $12.00

"Tricks...to Please A Woman" -- Special price: $12.00

"Dungeon Emergencies and Supplies -- Special Price: $9.00 (highly recommended for DMs.)

Reminder: these are all autographed by me and for sale at a discount.

To get these items for these prices, please write to me at jaywiseman@yahoo.com (jaywiseman at yahoo dot com) for ordering information and mention the "LLC Discount."

For more information about the items, please check out

http://www.jaywiseman.com/MER_000.html

Please forward this as you think appropriate.

Orders received by April 1 would be especially helpful.

Best regards, and thanks for the help,

Jay

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

SM Flea and Fandango April 8th

Phil — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 14:27:45 GMT

Hi everyone

Mark your calendars. Lady Thorns SM Community Exchange and Fandango is on April 8th. Just a couple of weeks away.

An afternoon at the Bizarre Flea, topped off with a Fandango party at the SF Citadel, will
make for a really memorable day.

Come join us for a great day of socializing, shopping, playing and enjoying a San
Francisco Leather Tradition.

If you are a vendor or know of a vendor, please forward this to them.

On April 8, 2007

Please join Lady Thorn, Kinky Crafts people, Artisans, Leather,
Fetish and SM Community members on Sunday April 8, for the first
"SM Community Exchange" of 2007!

This is the original San Francisco Leather Swap Meet and has been
Going on since December of 1983.

Vendors range from many of the best toy makers in the country to
artists, authors, photographers, fetish clothing makers to personal
Collections and one of a kind items for the connoisseurs in us.

Socialize with leather/fetish folk at this three times a year event.

Date: Sunday April 8, 2007
Address: 942 Mission Street
(between 5th and 6th Streets)
Doors open at 2:00 PM
Admission to the Bizarre Flea is only $5.00

Vendor Info: contact Lady Thorn @ 415/642-1448
Vender Set up: 12:30 PM

Easy parking at the 5th and Mission garage.

Continue the fun by joining us at Fandango.

We will weave our magic inside the SF Citadel with our special
Lighting and music, providing you with an environment where your energy can soar.

Come and see the spanking new space!

Admission will be available at the Fandango table inside the SM
Community Exchange or at the door if you have attended a Fandango in the past.

We provide special food, soft drinks, safer sex supplies and a wonderful
Fun place to play

Please bring your toys (old and new) 9and hot energy.

Admission: $20.00 at the SM Flea.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
6:30PM to 1:00PM
The New SF Citadel Space
1277 Mission Street
San Francisco, Ca 94103

Work exchange is always needed, contact us for work exchange please.

For further info or to help with the party, please check out our
websites at:

http://www.sfcitadel.org
http://www.smflea.com

PS: the next Exchange and Fandango will be August 12, 2007.

Usually held the second Sunday in December, August and December.

Thanks

P.S Please forward this to all who you feel should know about it.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Bringing it back home.

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 20:26:42 GMT

I am in an open relationship with my partner of fifteen years. She has a Dom she sees ounce or twice a week, we have two children, jobs, a very busy life.
I have played a few times, but my fetishes lie elsewhere most of the time.
I have to say though, that as far as injecting some serious sex drive and turning “vanilla” sex into peanut brittle sex, has been the result of what my partner brings back from a scene and into our sex life. It is truly awesome.
Neither of us is into labels though. We don’t subscribe to primary, secondary, etc. The human you are with and exchanging energy with is the “primary” at that time. We never use the terms because it has caused some insecurities with other partners in the past.
To be friends, to love those you care about with honesty and compassion captures the true magic of any flavor of sexuality.
When there is good solid communication in place as well, what you get is mind blowing sex with all the rest.
I love to hear the highlights of her experiences, and though her relationship with her Dom is based solely on the scenes, it strengthens us further as a kick ass team.

Anyone else had a similar scenario?

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

SM Flea and Fandango

Phil — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 06:38:52 GMT

The SM Community Exchange and Fandango are one week away.

On Sunday December 10, 2006

The SM Flea is a 23-year-old tradition in San Francisco.

Held again at the Porn Palace, 942 Mission, between 5th and 6th Streets (Easy Parking).

Information can be had at:

http://www.smflea.com

The flea opens at 2:00 PM and runs till 5:00

Admission to the Flea is only $5.00

Fandango

Special things are happening at Fandango this December. We have Jeff and Michelle cooking for us again. They do amazing things with food and we are proud to have them back. They are cooking a special menu of wonderful food for both meat eaters and vegetarians.

To top off the night, we have Mystic Moods spinning sounds and Cuir Bleu performing live.

What a great night which shouldn’t be missed.

Get your tickets at the Fandango booth or at the door.

Fandango starts at 6:30 PM and goes to Midnight.

SF Citadel, 1277 Mission St. (between 8th and 9th)

$20.00 at the SM Community Exchange or $25.00 at the door.

SF Citadel membership is required and available at both the Exchange or at the SF Citadel

August and I are celebrating our tenth year of marriage that night too.

Come and enjoy the special tradition of the Bizarre Flea and Fandango.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Call for anecdotes # 2 -- BDSM Bloopers, Blunders, and Disasters

Jay — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 20:37:43 GMT

Hi all,

Response to my initial call for anecdotes has been substantial. Many people are happy to share the valuable lessons they've learned from experience.

I'm hoping to have at least 100 of them for the book, with all of the collected by the end of November. At this time, with November about half gone, I have about half of the anecdotes that I need, so I'm putting out this second call.

If you have a story about something unexpected that happend during BDSM play, and how the incident taught you an important lesson, by all means please take this opportunity to share your experience.

Please include whether or not you want to be identified, and if so how you want to be identified.

The original call for anecdotes is below.

As with the first announcement, by all means please feel free to widely forward this.

Best regards,

Jay

www.jaywiseman.com

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Given that my “BDSM Bloopers, Blunders, and Disasters” program has proven so popular, I’ve decided that it’s time to 1) “freshen the crop” of stories and 2) compile them into book form. I’m therefore putting out this call for anecdotes to be included in the newest version.

To be included, an anecdote must meet both of the following criteria:

1. An unexpected event has to have occurred during actual BDSM play. (A “near miss” counts as an event.)

2. As a result of the incident, you learned something useful, something that you’d like to share with others, about how to engage in BDSM play. (I noticed that many of the stories in the earlier group chose to end as follows: “The moral of the story is….”)

Also, if at all possible, the event must be one that you were personally involved in. No “friend of a friend” incidents unless they can be independently verified.

Anecdotes must not identify any other person unless that person has consented. All anecdotes will be lightly edited for readability, and all identifying information will be deleted unless specifically requested otherwise.

I’m especially interested in anecdotes that generated a strong emotional response, be it laughter, horror, chagrin, delight, anger, relief, remorse, dawning realization, and so forth.

Anecdotes can be up to 1000 words long (or longer if absolutely necessary), although many excellent stories in the earlier group were considerably shorter.

If your anecdote is selected for inclusion in the book, you will receive a free copy of the book shortly after it is published and, if you wish, a mention by the name of your choice on the book’s “thank you” page.

I’m hoping to have the list finished within the next 30 days. (Today is November 1, 2006.)

Please send your anecdotes to me at jaywiseman@yahoo.com

Please forward this announcement widely.

Best regards to all,

Jay Wiseman

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Call for anecdotes -- BDSM Bloopers, Blunders, and Disasters

Jay — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 00:42:36 GMT

Hi all,

Given that my “BDSM Bloopers, Blunders, and Disasters” program has proven so popular, I’ve decided that it’s time to 1) “freshen the crop” of stories and 2) compile them into book form. I’m therefore putting out this call for anecdotes to be included in the newest version.

To be included, an anecdote must meet both of the following criteria:

1. An unexpected event has to have occurred during actual BDSM play. (A “near miss” counts as an event.)

2. As a result of the incident, you learned something useful, something that you’d like to share with others, about how to engage in BDSM play. (I noticed that many of the stories in the earlier group chose to end as follows: “The moral of the story is….”)

Also, if at all possible, the event must be one that you were personally involved in. No “friend of a friend” incidents unless they can be independently verified.

Anecdotes must not identify any other person unless that person has consented. All anecdotes will be lightly edited for readability, and all identifying information will be deleted unless specifically requested otherwise.

I’m especially interested in anecdotes that generated a strong emotional response, be it laughter, horror, chagrin, delight, anger, relief, remorse, dawning realization, and so forth.

Anecdotes can be up to 1000 words long (or longer if absolutely necessary), although many excellent stories in the earlier group were considerably shorter.

If your anecdote is selected for inclusion in the book, you will receive a free copy of the book shortly after it is published and, if you wish, a mention by the name of your choice on the book’s “thank you” page.

I’m hoping to have the list finished within the next 30 days. (Today is November 1, 2006.)

Please send your anecdotes to me at jaywiseman@yahoo.com

Please forward this announcement widely.

Best regards to all,

Jay Wiseman

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 0 replies

Issues in a poly quad with one non-BDSM member

Steven — Fri, 18 Aug 2006 20:18:10 GMT

Hi all,

I found this site today after looking for the topic of "BDSM poly quad", and here I am. My wife and I came together through our shared interest in the BDSM lifestyle. She was a newbie sub, and I was the experienced Dom. We have grown together, married, and created a family in our time together. During that same time, we have had several M-F-F poly triads. People moving, or someone trying to hide something usually mean the end of them. There was even a M-F-M-F poly quad, where the two others were a married set of BDSM submissives. That worked out well too.

Recently we also joined our very active local poly community, after having been in our local BDSM community for a few years. We were looking to find a new female for another poly triad, but were approached by the female of another couple where she was a newbie to BDSM and searching for a Dom that fit her, and he is non-BDSM oriented, but OK with her doing her own thing.

So, we start to explore friendship, start learning about each other, play alone M-F-F with the newbia submissive, and it is GREAT!!!! Then we get ready to play with the entire quad together. However, what my wife (and primary partner and submissive) and I had learned from the couple was that the husband was a voyeur, and was looking to watch things, and probably not participate much. Being that we play at public BDSM clubs we found this 100% fine as long as his newbie wife could handle him watching her explore this new BDSM lifestyle with my wife and I.

But... things took a twist... the husband was interested in sexual play with my wife... but was interested only as a voyeur for anything that was BDSM-rific. So, the truth of his desire laid in the middle of full voyeur anf full partner. I found this out the night we were first to play with all four of us together. The plans thus went from being about 3 people playing in BDSM or sexually with 1 watching, to 3 people playing in BDSM, and a 4th needing/wanting to play sexually with my wife and watch the BDSM.

OK... now that the basics are out of the way... here is what happened.

Rather than the 3 BDSM people playing, I played with the newbie, and sent my wife to play with him sexually. BIG MISTAKE!!!!

While it has always been great with my wife and I playing with another woman, another man was a dynamic previously unheard of in an uncontrolled non-BDSM way. The couple we had played with previous to this were both subs, and could be controlled, this was different. Plus, I need my wife there to fully enjoy the play with another submissive, sexual, bondage oriented or whatever. Without her there, it was fun, but not what I needed from it. In a true sense, she is my muse.

Is it crazy to be fine with playing in a M-F-M-F all BDSM quad where there is one Dom (me) and being 100% OK with all that happens between anyone in that relationship, even full sharing.... and then be TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by playing in a M-F-M-F quad where one member is non-BDSM and that portion of his interaction is sexual only with my wife??

I ask this, because if in the all BDSM quad I could tell her to go screw the husband, or share her with him, and would have been 100% fine. This time I tell him to go screw him and I am freaked out... but if I am there to share her, I am still 100% OK.

Is this all just a power dynamic?? Am I worried I am loosing something because he is non-BDSM and taking something of mine (my sub and wife) in times I am not there to share her with him?? Is it just simple jealousy??

What I really need to know is, "Is this a new one, or common?"

I have seen somewhat similar things in parts, but not all of this. So I'm thinking it has happened to others. But honestly, any insight from people is appreciated if they have an idea that can help or give me guidance.

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 1 reply

Tribe taken back over by Mark?

Jay — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 19:45:06 GMT

Hi all,

In the "Tribe Moderators" tribe, and presumably a few others, is news that Tribe is back under Marks' ownership. Assuming that this is true, and it certainly seems to be true, the question then becomes: So what? Below is a rant regarding my concerns and feelings about the current situation "around here" -- hopefully you will find it useful to read. It's also posted (as of now, anyway) in the Tribe Moderator's tribe.

Best,

Jay

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hmmmm, I will regard this as, if not good news, then at least as not necessarily bad news.

For me, the main question, and indeed pretty much the ONLY question, is what about those utterly dreadful, self-contradictory, outright irrrational, and capriciously enforced TOUs?

Also, will BDSM people still be considered human slime by senior Tribe management?

Starting with the great TOU debacle a while ago, senior Tribe management made it much more than very clear that they didn't want "our kind" around here. Since then, I have not been able to feel that either reading or posting to Tribe is a morally clean act for anyone engaged in any sort of alternative sexuality -- be it BDSM, poly, or what have you. I have occasionally gritted my teeth and done so anyway, and when I have posted I have also frequently encouraged people to take their eyeballs and their content over to www.free-association.net, where there is _NO_ doubt that we "alternative types" are genuinely welcome.

Before they changed their TOU in the dreadful way they did, I used to spend over an hour composing long, thoughtful essays for posting here. Since that change, there is not a fucking chance in hell that I would contribute to this place in that way. Since then, I have always felt slightly hypocritial for reading or posting on this site at all. I just can't see it as a morally clean act. Sometimes I do so anyway, and take a shower afterwards.

So I guess we'll have to see. If Mark (or whomever) makes it _unmistakenly_clear_ that "alternative types" like me are _genuinely_welcomed_ here -- not merely "tolerated" or "permitted" mind you, but genuinely welcomed, and I will be examing any language they use on this point very, very closely for any signs of ambiguity or evasiveness on that specific point, then I'll see.

It would also help if they were to explicitly, publicly apologize for and disown the past unfair and discriminatory policies.

If they want to move it back to being the magical, very hip place that it was, great. OTOH, if the new management wants it to continue of have all the advertureousness and free-spiritedness of -- to use their own phrase -- an "online Starbucks" then, as the old saying goes, include me out.

Until they do those things, I'll continue to do everything I can to encourage people to go over to www.free-association.net and to stay the hell away from this place. Remember folks, it's all about "eyeballs to advertisers" -- and given how things currently are here on Tribe I just cannot make myself feel morally clean about providing my eyeballs and encouraging others to provide theirs, for free, for Tribe's profitability.

Why, oh why, should I contribute, for free, to the well-being of a for-profit corporation that considers me an undesirable? This is especially true now, when a quite adequate, explicitly welcoming alternative, is very readily available. More to the point, why should you?

Very sincerely,

Jay Wiseman, JD
Please join me over at www.free-association.net

posted in BDSM and Polyamory - 4 replies