About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

topic posted Tue, December 8, 2009 - 8:56 AM by  Unsubscribed
I am a 37 year old woman and this will be the first time I have ever been in a 3-way. It will be with an unmarried, committed MF couple that do not have children. They are experienced in this both with adding a female and a male. I was looking for this exact set up and so far this couple is a dream come true! I wanted nice people that were also looking for friendship. I wanted the woman to be large chested and have long hair like myself. We talked on cam first and we got on so well, just chatting away about all sorts of things so I know that conversation won't be awkward. We are meeting this Saturday evening! So, if you have any ettiquette tips or anything that can help me to make this experience as pleasurable as possible for me, I would really appreciate it. I have already asked them if they have any "rules" about what can or can't go on and they said "no."

I am so excited!!!!
posted by:
  • Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Tue, December 8, 2009 - 10:43 AM
    If they have no rules, I think you might want to have some of your own, and let them know what they are. Unless you have no boundaries, either. My lady and I play with other couples, and single guys and girls. But we do have rules, and if our playmates have rules, we respect them absolutely. Sounds to me like you are going to have a great time, and of course we want to hear all about it afterwards.

    Your profile doesn't give a location, but it sounds like you would like my lady, too. Drop us a line.
    • Unsu...

      Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

      Tue, December 8, 2009 - 10:46 AM
      I am in the Seattle area. I know that they are OK with whatever anyone is comfortable with. By "rules" I was thinking, no intercourse with him and I, no kissing, that sort of thing. I don't know what rules I would have, not to say that I don't posess any boundaries. I think the main thing is that if someone says "stop" that it is respected.
  • Unsu...

    Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Wed, December 9, 2009 - 2:43 PM
    Hi. It's been a long time since I've done 3- or 4-way sex but I happen to agree with the couple you are meeting ... RULES? Forget them! GO FOR IT!! Leave all your inhibitions about everything in your car ... let ALL of your barriers down! ... and please, forget to THINK and just FEEL :) This alone will put you into that vaunted "head space" everyone is so concerned about "reaching" ... you ARE there when you LET yourself be there! Oooohhhhh! Bet ya can't wait for Saturday night! You'll have fun-Fun-FUN if you let yourself have it with wild abandonment ... COMPLETELY ... no holds barred :) Best of happy kissing, licking, sucking and f*cking ... E
  • Unsu...

    Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Thu, December 10, 2009 - 8:15 AM
    Any rules will be whatever you (and your partners) set for yourselves and are comfortable with...

    Some folk have fairly specific rules ... others play with "no rules - as long as it feels good"
    But you'd have to figure out YOUR RULES for yourself.

    For example:

    If you're bringing another gal into your 3-some and your (male) partner is allowed to play with both women ... are you comfortable with him engaging in all sexual activities with her? Are there some acts which you and your partner would like to reserve for "just the two of you"? Is it preferable for you to have your partner achieve his orgasm with you - or would either be okay with you? Are y'all playing with protection (condoms) or will this be a "bareback" experience? If it's another guy you're bringing in ... will condoms be used for all sex acts or just intercourse (or not at all)? Oral sex? Anal sex? Double-Penetration? Will the guy play with only you or would your partner be open to the guy playing wth both of you?

    Whatever you decide, it's something that y'all should be comfortable with to maximize pleasure and minimize and misunderstandings or possible drama
  • Unsu...

    Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Thu, December 10, 2009 - 12:48 PM
    Thanks Eric & E! I have been very anxious about it. At first I was only excited, now I feel really nervous and that is not how I want to feel, I want to feel how E describes, just decadent and in the moment! I have to work on turning my head space around because currently I feel mired in negativity and I hate it!

    Help me Tribe, pray for me! I want to thorougly enjoy this!
    • Unsu...

      Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

      Thu, December 10, 2009 - 1:58 PM
      Don't WORK, Mistress! That's the secret ... when the energy comes to you, when you become aware of it, just close your eyes and let it wash over you ... feel your nervousness, feel your excitement, feel your anticipation ... just breathe through it in acknowledgement and self-soothe yourself ... remember, it's often difficult/sometimes impossible to determine if what you are feeling is fear or excitement. In this situation, it might be safe to assume its the latter and not the former. Guide your thoughts along this path and let yourself unfold, naturally. These people will surely be your new friends.

      Nervous excitement is good, really REALLY GOOD!! (soo tingly! soo wiggly-squirmy!!) The danger is in the jadedness and you definitely don't suffer from that :)

      All blessings and wellbeingness to your explorations, Mistress!
  • Unsu...

    Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Mon, December 14, 2009 - 8:59 AM
    OK, had the three-way Saturday evening. First time I was ever with a couple and the first time I even went down on a woman or had one go down on me.

    I have had the flu since Tuesday and I am just now better, so I still felt a little under the weather Saturday, but I went over to their place anyways, with the understanding that there were no expectations.
    They had a very cozy home and were lovely hosts to me, treated me very well overall. Because I was so nervous, I think that set up worked for me, I needed the pressure off so I could act. Apparently for the female of the group, she was in the mindset that nothing was happening and is not one for spontaneity. So, that was awkward. I don't know, I didn't feel desired by her, but I did by him, even though she kept saying everything was OK.
    I am used to the men that I am with being complimentary of me, neither of them said anything, even though the man and I both said nice things about her.

    It started off in their living room on their huge sofa with ottoman, chaise. He was in the middle and started kissing me and touching me, this action got her interested and I had to ask her if it was OK for me to touch her.
    We moved into the bedroom and the whole me being the center of attention, hands all over me, didn’t last long unfortunately.
    Out of the three of us, the lady of the couple was the only one that climaxed. She was on top of him and I was touching her clit. Even he never did because the whole thing was just awkward and he could tell something was up with her. He kept asking her what was wrong and asking her to please just talk about it and she kept saying everything was fine.

    I did perform oral on a woman for the first time and vice versa. That was a pleasant experience.
    She has a gorgeous body and amazing tits. I love love love to have my breasts played with and stimulated, my own tits turn ME on, so that was an aspect I was really looking forward to; being with another feminine, large chested woman with long hair, similar to me. She has these beautiful natural breasts and she feels NOTHING! She gets NO pleasure from having them kissed, licked, sucked or touched. I slapped them some and she felt that (both of them had never done or heard of tit slapping) but I can’t tell you how disappointed I was in this. I see no point in playing with her again, with these beautiful dead things on her body that she derives no sensation from. It completely killed any desire for me to touch and enjoy them knowing she did not enjoy it.

    As for him, he was a very nice man, loves women, made me feel desired, good at touching me and kissing. His penis is however on the small side, and sadly this does matter for me. I don’t need a huge monster cock, but I do need more than 4”, especially for someone that I am not in love with and the relationship is primarily based on sex.
    They live in a neighborhood close to me, but not familiar to me. He was nice enough to lead me out to where I could get on the freeway. When we got to that point, he got out of his car and came over to me, thanked me for coming and kissed me.

    While he was getting dressed to lead me out of their neighborhood, she said that he had missed a button on his shirt. He had been feeling annoyed with her so he snapped at her, it was awkward, but I understood it. He was disappointed in her reaction to me.
    Since it was my first time with a woman AND three people together, it was my hope that the couple, especially the woman, would take the lead, make me feel sexy and desired, bring me out of my shell (which would not have been hard to do), compliment my body, dirty talk, etc. I have yet to feel truly and completely desired by a woman, but at least men and the man in this scenario too, have done that for me.
    I must say here something about men: Dear Hetero Men of the World: I love you. I love men. (This is of course to all the men out there that are good men, OK, a generalization). I have been told before by men that they can tell I like men. I do. I saw another example of what I like about them Saturday evening. You can get enthusiastic and make almost any lady feel beautiful. You are sweet, kind and care about her pleasure. In a group situation, if you should find yourself there, you make sure the ladies are having a good time to the best of your ability. You direct the action and the balance. You are cognizant of everyone’s feelings. You make the guest feel like they are appreciated and welcome.
    I could say more, but I have a lot of catch up to do, missed a lot of work. Feel free to ask questions.

    PS. It really made me feel sad that she didn't get hot for me. Bleh.
    • Unsu...

      Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

      Mon, December 14, 2009 - 8:59 PM
      I talked to him at length today. It was very emotional for me. He told me that they had never had a situation where he got physical with a lone woman and she did not participate; it had never even come up before. She only got involved because she could tell he really wanted to go for it, I was willing and it seemed like the best thing to to do. I would have done the same thing in her place (in an alternate universe where I do the right thing instead of think of it later), when you look at all possible options, it seemed like the best choice, to preserve my feelings, keep her relationship at it's best; everything. When I was her age and maybe even now, I would have gone apeshit if my man pulled that. She loves him so much that she understands that he wasn't thinking straight, he wanted to fuck me and she gave him that leverage. He had drank more that night than he usually did otherwise he would have thought of her more first and not gone for me, asking as an aside if she was "ok" with it. In fact at one point in the middle of it, after he had already tried using a condom with me once, he was about to just fuck me bareback, without asking her or me, which he readily said was completely wrong and fucked up and the weird thing about that moment is I was about to let him do this out of muscle reflex impulse, she caught that shit and said nicely, "do you need another condom?" Like, the tone of her voice was "Oh you want to fuck her pussy some more? Cool, let me help you!" I would have once again been a raving justifiably angry typhoon in the same situation, if I ever got in that situation (which I wouldn't allow myself to be cool enough to get into), at her age, 29! She knows that men stop thinking with their brains, cocks take over and she didn't blame him for that. He in fact appreciated her for it! For bringing him to his senses, for forgiving him that lapse of judgement and taking over, for not making him feel guilty about it, just helping him. It was truly remarkable. I told him that he had a real good thing going with her, he really did. But it really fucked my self esteem as far as women. I don't think I'm mature enough to remain friends with them.
      • Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

        Wed, December 16, 2009 - 2:52 AM
        Well, it sounds like it didn't exactly live up to the fantasies you've had about the experience, but I have heard stories of 3ways being much worse than your experience. I still think you should try it with my lady and I. We both like to give our all to the lady that shares our bed with us. We know that once our guest is gone, it will be just us again in our bed, and we can pay attention to each other all we want then.
        • Unsu...

          Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

          Wed, December 16, 2009 - 8:44 AM
          Oh and I have been hearing since I posted quite a bit that people have had way worse experiences, which I don't doubt, but my point is if typically it's crappy to mildly disappointing; why do it? The man from the 3 way actually told me that "the lifestyle" is painful and cruel, it ususally doesn't work out, it's a pain in the ass, etc. When I asked him "why do it?" he said that you just hope that this time it will be different, if you just could find the right person. I really hope that I have that someday.
          • Unsu...

            Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

            Wed, December 16, 2009 - 10:26 AM
            Hi Busty,

            "Why do it?" If you find a couple that is really comfortable or maybe even a group, it is very worth it. Why the guy you met does it, well I'm not sure but it sounds like there's more than meets the eye in that couple's relationship and you got caught in it.

            As I mentioned privately, try to communicate privately but openly with both people in any couple you are planning to play with. Tell them openly that you've had a bad experience and need to have a private email chat with both or something similar.

            Also, try to find the queer sex positive community in Seattle. I know it exists, the Wet Spots come from there, LOL.


            Rig Daddy
          • Unsu...

            Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

            Wed, December 16, 2009 - 12:13 PM
            We have found this thread to be very interesting since my partner Anne and I are hoping to enjoy our first MFF and MFM experiences in the foreseeable future. I have experienced MFM scenarios with 3 separate female partners over the years, but my partner Anne is new to any more-some experience. We have each experienced many first time MF intimate experiences over the years, and Anne has some FF experience. For me, I have found very few "first times" to be great, and not too many more that I would categorize as good. First time encounters for me are always tentative and nervous at least to some degree.

            Intimacy with Anne is the most amazing fulfilling experience I have ever known, yet it was not so that very first time, although as first times go it was certainly at or near the top from my viewpoint. I attribute that to fact we spent what for us was a long time getting to know each other as people and friends before taking that next step. As we have followed this thread we discussed briefly what we would consider our rules, although we have few we did identify a couple of rules. One aspect I have hesitated to declare a rule, yet would like to try to adhere to is that first face to face meetings will not result in any intimate interaction. As was stated earlier the female from the pair did not seem interested. If it was predetermined that nothing would occur at the first meeting, I strongly suspect a second meeting would not have taken place.
            • Unsu...

              Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

              Wed, December 16, 2009 - 12:52 PM
              They told me that I was the first person to ever suggest on skyping (they are on live cam & so am I) before in person meeting. I was new and scared. I thought let's see if we have any one on one connection this way before actually meeting in the flesh. They thought it was a really good idea and I did too. That way we all knew what we looked like as of today, instead of pictures that can be several years old. It's much easier to have an awkward meeting this way and say, "Oh well, it's not going to work out" than to meet in person and say there is no chemistry to the persons face or have it said to yours in public. Our skype wasn't awkward at all. We had tons to talk about and it could have gone on for a long time.

              They told me that usually how they do it is to first meet in a bar on a Saturday evening, that way if you want to go play right away if there is instant chemistry, then you can. He said that sometimes when you meet another night, start getting hot and then attempt the experiences, the fact that people have to get back home and up early for work the next day puts a rush on the experience.

              So because of the online meeting and a couple phone calls after, I felt confident of the attraction when i went to their home. They told me on skype they were both attracted to me and if I felt the same, it was a go. I really don't know what happened in person for her, i know that life and relationships are complicated. I felt really bad about my body and my manner. Was I not acting sexy enough? Was I not pretty enough for her in person? Did I say something or do something that just totally turned her off? I haven't even had a fully passionate experience with one woman and so now I doubt that any woman would fully want me. This may be false thinking but it's based on my experience so far and my body image.

              She has a traditionally way hotter body than me. I am attractive, have great tits, tall, cute little butt, but unlike most women, I gain weight in my gut, not my but, hips and thighs. So now I think it's my too big stomach that caused the problem, but she wasn't into before she saw my stomach, so I don't know.

              I don't understand why as a single woman, with many sexy and attractive qualities cannot find this experience? I wouldn't mind trying MFM, but the men would have to be people I knew for sure I could trust to not only never hurt me but to make it wonderful for me.

              I agaree with Dyad too, first times one on one are usually awkward and are definately not the best you two would turn out to be after being together for awhile.
              • Unsu...

                Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

                Wed, December 16, 2009 - 5:49 PM
                Few of us have perfect bodies, but I believe that there are plenty of people who find a variety of body types attractive. As a baby boomer, I do not find the the thin boyish figures that so many younger people seem to admire attractive. I really don't find artificial attractive either, give me a natural breast over perky blown up one any day. I think perhaps that women are more critical of themselves or other women than men are, but I might be wrong. When Anne and I were starting to talk about our what we both knew would be our forthcoming intimacy I recall vividly how she pointed out, "My breasts aren't perky anymore, I have some stretch marks, you won't like me naked." Her fears were of course completely unfounded, because for me she is the most attractive women on earth. I wish I had the answer to the question, "What makes you attracted to someone." Anne and I both know the characteristics in a women that we find attractive, but that doesn't mean we are attracted to any woman with those characteristics any more than it means we won't be attracted to someone with different characteristics. Anne loves to tease me that I have very few of the physical characteristics she would have picked for her perfect match, but assures me she truly is attracted to me.

                Anne writes:

                I can certainly understand the flaming desire to jump into the 3-Way experience you were so hyped about. In my conversations with Jim I have tried to stress the importance of the journey being with a woman that we can both consider a friend, are comfortable with and can possibly see as an addition to our relationship before getting to the physical delights that are possible. I am also well aware of the additional difficulties that this would bring and currently have a wait and see attitude.

                I hope you realize that the woman's issue with your body type is her problem all women are beautiful if they allow their spirit to take the lead. A little extra weight, stretch marks and all the wonders of aging gracefully plague us all. If a person gets to know you and sees your inner beauty those parts of your body that you pointed out as not being up to par will disappear (I now know this from experience :) )
                • Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

                  Wed, December 30, 2009 - 11:35 AM
                  I see it all the time, Dyad, what you're saying about how so many women feel insecure about their bodies. There is a lady, probably about mid-40 ish, that my lady and I are working on getting to know. We both think she's very cute, and would like very much to share our bed with her. I keep making offhanded remarks to her, like asking her when she's going to Black's Beach with us. When I told her we would be glad to take her to the clothing optional beach, she said, "Nobody wants to see me naked."

                  I said, "Two things, A, that's not the point, it's all about having fun and not worrying what others think, and B, don't be so sure nobody wants to see you naked." Making it very obvious that I, for one, did want to see her naked. So she might not have the perfect body of a 19 year old. Who cares? Perfection is overrated. And like was mentioned above, I prefer real over phony.
          • Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

            Wed, December 30, 2009 - 11:27 AM
            Mistress, it's true that 3way sex has had some disastrous consequences for many people, even to the point of causing ugly breakups between couples that have been together for a long time. But in each of those situations, if you look closer at the relationship as they went into the 3way, you'll see that the couple were not really well suited for bringing another person into their bed. If there is even a hint of jealousy, or one partner doing it just to please the other, it's headed for bad times. I thoroughly enjoy giving my lady all the pleasure she can handle, and having another guy, or another couple, involved is one good way for that to happen. But I'm not just doing it for her, I get lots of satisfaction from having sex with another lovely lady, too. And my lady enjoys seeing me smile as I dive into another woman's pussy face first, knowing that I am truly enjoying myself, and that the lady is in for a treat, too, since my lady calls me her silvertongued devil. What I really enjoy is when the other lady is Bi also, so I can watch her and my lady pleasuring each other.

            To sum it up, if it's being done for the right reasons, with the right people, there's no reason it can't be great. Otherwise, there's not much chance of it even being enjoyable. You come on over here, and my lady and I will show you how enjoyable it can be.
  • Re: About to have my 1st 3-Way, Tips?

    Fri, February 4, 2011 - 5:39 AM
    holidays in Tunisia

    Are there any couples who'd like to join the useful with delightful? I'm a white, mature and nice looking male who wishes to know foreigners from worldwide visiting Italy...and play with them in their bed :) With trusted,married couples or with STD-free certificates, I'd like to have the most exciting bareback sex experiences, such as double creampies or sloppy seconds.
    I can host ... ;-)
    Contact me by private message

Recent topics in "3 ways love"