Boundaries

topic posted Fri, June 16, 2006 - 10:31 AM by  (The)
I formed this tribe after interesting correspondence over time with Arthur.
My questions are, do you have to meet someone to think about them, and how much is appropriate and what are the established rules of boundaries?
I ask, because people in New York confuse niceness with weakness, in my experiences, and feel just because someone won't lower themselves to a court case, arguement or worse, they can't, won't or it is a green arrow to proceed.
posted by:
(The)
  • Re: Boundaries

    Mon, June 19, 2006 - 10:25 AM
    In my case, the worst boundary violation is when someone who I admired greatly, who never formally met me, but knew of my enthusiasm for me, went to everyone who would listen and told them lies about me, leading to 21 years of misfortune for me for no good reason.
    To this day, he feels I will always lie down, in hopes this character assassination will dissapate, and he would rather commit a great injustice to myself, my support group and all who desire my services to save his own sorry ass reputation and his fevered illusion of whatever he thinks power is actually.
    I still forgive him and want to co exist, as he has established he can with his worst advasaries, for the right price, those who have actually wronged him...
    • Unmasking a Confidence Trickster

      Mon, June 19, 2006 - 1:54 PM
      At last, about ten o'clock at night, I came to the doorway of the fine house where I was invited to spend the evening, after the man beside me, whom I was barely acquainted with and who had once again thrust himself unasked upon me, had marched me for two long hours around the streets.

      "Well!" I said, and clapped my hands to show that I really had to bid him goodbye. I had already made several less explicit attempts to get rid of him. I was tired out.

      "Are you going straight in?" he asked. I heard a sound in his mouth that was like the snapping of teeth.

      "Yes."

      I had been invited out, I told him when I met him. But it was to enter a house where I longed to be that I had been invited, not to stand here at the street door looking past the ears of the man before me. Nor to fall silent with him, as if we were doomed to stay for a long time on this spot. And yet the houses around us at once took a share in our silence, and the darkness over them, all the way up to the stars. And the steps of invisible passers-by, which one could not take the trouble to elucidate, and the wind persistently buffeting the other side of the street, and a gramophone singing behind the closed windows of some room-they all announced themselves in this silence, as if it were their own possession for the time past and to come.

      And my companion subscribed to it in his own name and--with a smile--in mine too, stretched his right arm up along the wall and leaned his cheek upon it, shutting his eyes.

      But I did not wait to see the end of that smile, for shame suddenly caught hold of me. It had needed that smile to let me know that the man was a confidence trickster, nothing else. And yet I had been months in the town and thought I knew all about confidence tricksters, how they came slinking out of side streets by night to meet us with outstretched hands like tavernkeepers, how they haunted the advertisement pillars we stood beside, sliding round them as if playing hide-and-seek and spying on us with at least one eye, how they suddenly appeared on the curb of the pavement at cross streets when we were hesitating! I understood them so well, they were the first acquaintances I had made the town's small taverns, and to them I owed my first inkling of a ruthless hardness which I was now so conscious of, everywhere on earth, that I was even beginning to feel it in myself. How persistently they blocked our way, even when we had long shaken ourselves free, even when, that is, they had nothing more to hope for! How they refused to give up, to admit defeat, but kept shooting glances at us that even from a distance were still compelling! And the means they employed were always the same: they planted themselves before us, looking as large as possible, tried to hinder us from going where we purposed, offered us instead a habitation in their own bosoms, and when at last all our balked feelings rose in revolt they welcomed that like an embrace into which they threw themselves face foremost.

      And it had taken me such a long time in this man's company to recognize the same old game. I rubbed my finger tips together to wipe away the disgrace. My companion was still leaning there as before, still believing himself a successful trickster, and his self-complacency glowed pink on his free cheek.

      "Caught in the act!" said I, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. Then I ran up the steps, and the disinterested devotion on the servants' faces in the hall delighted me like an unexpected treat. I looked at them all, one after another, while they took my greatcoat off and wiped my shoes clean.

      With a deep breath of relief and straightening myself to my full height I then entered the drawing room.

      • Re: Unmasking a Confidence Trickster

        Mon, June 19, 2006 - 2:03 PM
        The man who stole the water
        Will swim forever more
        But he'll never reach the land
        On that golden shore
        That faint white light
        Will haunt his heart
        'Til he's only a memory
        Lost in the dark
        Dig your hole in the ground
        All the way down to hell
        'Til there ain't no more water
        In the well, well, well
        When you're down on your knees
        With nothin' left to sell
        Try diggin' a little deeper
        The water used to run
        So clear and so fresh
        Now poison creeps through it
        That withers the flesh
        The man sells us back our water
        Like we're fish on his line
        Tryin' to turn our blood
        Into his wine
        Dig your hole in the ground
        All the way down to hell
        'Til there ain't no more water
        In the well, well, well
        When you're down on your knees
        With nothin' left to sell
        Try diggin' a little deeper
        In the well, well, well
        Take care of your body
        Like you care for your soul
        Take care you don't dig your self
        Into a hole
        'Til you've paid the price
        You don't know the worth
        Of the air and the water
        The fire and the Earth
        Dig your hole in the ground
        All the way down to hell
        'Til there ain't no more water
        In the well, well, well
        When you're down on your knees
        With nothin' left to sell
        Try diggin' a little deeper
        In the well, well, well
        The man who stole the water
        Will swim forever more
        But he'll never reach the land
        On that golden shore
        • Re: Unmasking a Confidence Trickster

          Thu, June 29, 2006 - 11:23 AM
          The village square stands quiet
          The curfew still enforced
          The streets are even clear of dogs and whores
          Like some evil bird-of-prey
          The scaffold spreads its wings
          The people build their fires and bolt their doors

          The mayor is giving dinner to the officers? wives
          His eldest son is learning how to fawn
          The barrick block is hushed and tense
          The soldiers drawing lots
          Who will be the hangman in the dawn?

          The lot falls on a foolish man
          Who has served more than twenty years
          His home is in the village close nearby
          He shivers at the thought of what
          He's forced to do next day
          He wonders who it is who has to die?

          And the full moon casts a cold light
          On the gloomy prison walls
          The papist walks his cell
          He cannot sleep
          He hears the waiting gallows creaking
          Just beyond that door
          He prays for he has no more tears to weep

          The day begins to break
          A muffled drums begins to sound
          A crowd begins to gather in the square
          The presence of the hangman
          In his terrifying mask
          Weighs heavy on the minds of all those there
          The colonel reads the sentence
          Which the papist knows by heart:
          He has failed to show alliegence to the king
          His crime is thus with God himself
          And in his name he must hang
          The papist, head held high
          Says not a thing

          The jailer binds his hands
          And puts his blindfold to his eyes
          He leads him through the door before the crowd
          The hangman sees his victim
          And the blood drains from his face:
          He sees his younger brother standing proud
          The hangman tries to protest
          But is ordered to proceed
          His trembling hands begin to take the strain
          His eyes are blind with streaming tears
          And he cries for all to hear:

          Forgive me God we hang him in thy name!
      • Re: Unmasking a Confidence Trickster

        Fri, July 28, 2006 - 6:26 PM
        I just did a Google search today for "spying on us with at least one eye", and found this post. I myself had a few short stories of Kafka converted to electronic format. I appreciate this post. I am ready and willing to reciprocate.

        If you like, write to me directly at:

        seyn1@hotmail.com

        Regards,

        Seyn
        (male)

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