Something odd happened recently. A friend told me someone in the community had trashed me because of something I'd said in a meeting at the Citadel in San Francisco. When people were asked if anyone there had never subbed, I raised my hand. And evidently, this outraged the person trashing me, that a dom may never have subbed. It got me thinking (always a dangerous thing...)

I chatted more with my friend, surprised at the outrage, and mentioned that *by my definitions*, I never have subbed, but certainly have had a sub use each of my dozen floggers on me, and many of my canes, and all other pain toys, just to get a feel for how they impacted, swept skin, hurt, etc. My friend's response was that, in that case, I HAD subbed. I've always thought, since I've never experienced subspace, that I've never subbed, regardless of trying it out, with spanking that left me bored, or flogging, caning, and other brief lifeless experiments. (To my regret, switching never seems to do a thing for me, and whether through pain or exercise, I'm fairly sure I've never been fortunate enough to experience an endorphin high.)

So, what's the definition of subbing to you? Is it the only what you do physically, or is it what you experience? Personally, I think of it as experiencing the whole of the pain-becomes-pleasure/submission to another's giving of sensation/etc. experience. Which I've orchestrated for others, but never felt, myself. Or do you consider it just the experience of bending down and accepting what someone else gives you, regardless of what's going on in your head? I'm curious what people are using for their way of defining things...