Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. W hat do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between ' ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. W hat do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between ' ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!
posted by:
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Florida
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Re: Bad Taiste: Jailhouse Jokes
Sat, April 5, 2008 - 5:53 AMsome of those were lol and some were just plain ewwww.
Thanks for the giggle. -
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Re: Bad Taiste: Jailhouse Jokes
Sat, April 5, 2008 - 5:57 AMyeah I know
A friend PM'd me these this morning
I needed a laugh though
And jokes are more valuable than gold in the pokkey -
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Re: Bad Taiste: Jailhouse Jokes
Sun, April 6, 2008 - 11:56 AMAs a red sox fan I gotta say that I love the Yankee joke -
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Re: Bad Taiste: Jailhouse Jokes
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 1:59 PMNever Choke in a restaurant in the South
Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!' -
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Re: Bad Taste: Jailhouse Jokes
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 2:36 PM>>>>"Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.
One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no.
Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.
His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!'"<<<<
Ugggggghhhhhhhh, that is SO NASTY! This just got added to a LONG LIST of reasons why I never go further south than the DC, Maryland, Northern Virginia area (DC/MD/noVA). -
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Re: Bad Taste: Jailhouse Jokes
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 3:22 PMlol,Well, (A Ronnie Reagan opening or "A deep subject.") it is another world out (down)there. A nice collection of "quotes"
. “Good taste is the excuse I've always given for leading such a bad life”/Oscar Wilde.Maybe i ought to turn that one around ? -
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Re: Bad Taste: Jailhouse Jokes
Sat, June 7, 2008 - 12:48 AMwhy do old-timers wear 2 pairs of socks when they go golfing?
in case they get a hole in one
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