Yes, I know a lot of people including me have pretty much given up on Tribe, but I thought anyone who actually reads this tribe will find this HILARIOUS!

Remember how I said my fully badged Specialized Allez had never been stolen because removing the quick releases and using a lock is more important than making your bike look crappy? Well somebody put a jack in my lock. You know how they got it in the mini lock? I replaced my quick releases and had forgotten to put my hex keys back in my bag after I did some work on the bike at home, so I couldn't take off the front wheel and lock it to the frame, like I usually do, and said everyone should. HA HA! Do something stupid you know you shouldn't do and your bike is gone. Its ok though.The jokes on the poor sucker who buys the bike off the pro who took it (on the last Friday of the month, when bikes in SF are stolen, thank you Critical Mess) THE FRAME WAS BENT and you couldn't see it, you cheap bastard! I road the hell out of that thing, crashed it more times than I can count. In fact, on the looking crappy scale, the Allez had hard earned dings, not fake ones. The newer looking and more expensive looking bikes I always park by had been replaced by broken locks, too, taken buy a pro thief who will dispose of them on Craig'slist or EBay. And that's why I don't buy used bikes.

So the joke goes further. I thought I could live without a bike for a while, that lasted almost exactly one week. Not good enough at skateboarding and being forced to (Shudder) DRIVE A CAR EVERY DAY! was just more than I could take.

The thing is once you ride a thousand dollar bike nearly daily for 10 years you just can't go back to a cheap one, if you can you are a better man than me. The only geared bike I liked as much as the old one was a $2300 carbon fiber model, so I went to a hipster bike cafe to try out some fancy single speeds, and OH GOD! The first bike I tried I just loved it. I got the "extension of my body" feeling that only comes from the perfect frame. And the carbon fork? Why did I wait so long to try one? I didn't even need to try another one, riding a fixie was a blast (and a lot easier on hills than you would think! I actually like climbing hills BETTER with my fixed gear) the only problem, the bike was my most hated color. The Dreaded Matte Black. I once said on this tribe that I would throw up if I saw another matte black bike. The color is actually called "Battleship Gray" and is not *really* black, per, se, but it's matte black enough to make me a hypocrite. BUT IT FIT LIKE A GLOVE! and it was just the right price.

The happy ending is that my new bike has re-ignited the passion for cycling that I had lost. I'm having fun on my bike again. If having a black fixed gear makes me a shallow hipster and a bike snob, so be it! Sign me up! A new bike is just what the doctor ordered. Thank you for stealing my bike, you asshole, where ever you are.