Thus quoth William Clark upon first viewing the mouth of the Columbia River...his first view of the Blue Pacific!

And now a word from our sponsor about vegan pancit.

This should be a blog, but since you are the target audience, please forgive my indulgence, I promise not to do it too many times...but this list HAS been a bit slack.

Pancit, the delightful noodle, veggie and shrimp (or other meat) dish apparently prized as the Filipino staff of life. We couldn't do a Luau, or what I affectionately refer to as a "Pacific Rim Job" without it...

So I Googled a few lackluster vegan recipes which didn't even come close to the genuine article, and on hit number eight of the first ten I found the very item on the Alma Paradiso menu. Something told me that I was, like William Clark, exploring new territory. I guess that there just aren't very many Filipino vegan dishes known on this side of the Pacific...

I used tofu for the protein, and dried seaweed (99 Ranch, yo!) to get the flavor of the sea (I hope this is kosher for vegans, as the gathering of seaweed evicts thousands of tiny fishes, crustaceans and mollusks from their happy homes - yeah I know I just ruined it for you). Anyhoo, the noodles came out a little too al dente, and I accidentally dumped in two tablespoons of sesame oil when I only intended a teaspoon, but OHMYF*((*&INGGOD! The shrimp can just stay in the "ocian"...

So here's the recipe to serve two very hungry vegans or four as a heaping noodle side dish:

one half pound firm tofu, julienned
two strands of dried wakame seaweed, rehydrated (don't toss out the water)
four tablespoons kosher or sea salt
four tablespoons canola oil
Two large cloves of garlic, minced
one half teaspoon minced fresh ginger
One large carrot, peeled and sliced
two ribs celery, finely sliced
one quarter cup chopped red onion
two cups shredded or finely sliced cabbage
one quarter red bell pepper, finely sliced
one large scallion, chopped
one eight ounce package dried pancit noodles
one tablespoon soy sauce
two tablespoons sesame oil

Combine tofu, seaweed, and half of the salt in two cups of water and marinade for one hour. Drain liquid into a three quart pot and press all the excess liquid from the tofu. Remove most of the seaweed, chop it up and add it to the water. Add four cups of water, the remainder of salt, and bring to a boil. When it comes to a boil, add the noodles and boil for only two minutes (instructions say five, ignore them). Then drain the noodles, finally discarding the liquid.

In the meanwhile, add two tablespoons of oil to your wok, heat to high, and toss in the garlic and ginger, taking care not to burn it, and immediately follow with carrots and celery, toss a couple of times, then add onion and cabbage, toss a couple more times, then add bell pepper and scallions, toss one or two times, and chuck the whole mess in a bowl on the side. Add the remaining oiol to the wok, heat it up again, and brown the tofu and any remaining seaweed for three to five minutes. Add this to the vegetables, combine with the noodles, and toss with soy sauce and sesame oil. Cover and let it stand for five minutes while the noodles soak up any extra moisture and flavor from the other ingredients, serve and savor.

Like we say back in soul food country...

Make you wanna slap yo' Mamasita!