I wish I wasn't the first person to respond to this, well this isn't good advice or anything, just my opinion;

Sex is one of the best things in life... along with food, children's laughter etc...

It wouldn't be fair to live life in unwilling celibacy, it seems like you know that though.
I'm glad you are willing to give yourself to someone besides your husband
even though it will be outside the constitution of marriage.

I mean who knows, maybe he'll realize what he's missing out on once you've got that
i've just been fucked glow back...
;)

Thank you for sharing this very deep introduction Lilly.
Welcome.
Tia

Lilly,

Your situation is a lot like my partners, she spent 15 years with a man who was a decent father to their children but emotionally rather cold. Spent the last few years celibate and then one day just had enough and kicked him out. Spent about a year just being single, knowing deep down she wanted to be kinky but not doing much about it.

She is happier now than she has ever been. The kids will remain a complication tying the two of them together but she feels it is worth it. You don't have kids, nothing to tie you down.

So, what is your life worth? Do you want to be in the same situation 30 years from now?

Lilly - how well I know exactly what you are talking about and what you are/were going through. My last marriage turned into exactly what you described. At first it was wonderful. There was a great deal of interests in each other and fun times. After about one year things started to really change, especially in the sex department. Before we got married we were sexually active 4-5 times a week. After about a year I noticed a decline in her sex drive. I started to think it was something I was doing or not doing. We talked about it and after 2+ hours of talking (and boy did I open myself up) she made the comment that she was happy with sex once a week while I needed it daily or more. I looked at that in two ways - a good thing and a bad thing. Good - it was nice to know that I was able to fulfill her sexual needs in one night that lasted a week; Bad - it only happened once a week. Then it got to once a month and finally, during the last year of our marriage, none at all. We even slept in different rooms. I thought it was me. I never had any problems before in the sex area and actually got many compliments about it. One night I heard her talking and was wondering who she was talking to in the livingroom. She was asleep and it was very apparent that she was talking in her sleep. Needless to say my name wasn't in her conversation nor was I in her dream. She was very active in her Chruch and was the Choir Director. All these nights of going to the Chruch for choir practice was not always at the Church. I did not go to her Church so I really didn't know what the schedules were. I found out the choir practices once a week not 3-4 times a week. So after I found that out and found out who she was seeing on the side I didn't feel bad about not having sex with her at all. Like yourself, a self imposed celibacy. We divorced and have gone our separate ways. I asked her why she had the affair when she could get all the sex she wanted at home. She told me that I was too much for her. Not size but the amount of sex I enjoyed and the different types of sex I enjoy. I scared her because I was bringing her into areas that she had never been. Like yourself I also like to explore some differernt areas of sexual pleasure other than just doing it Missionary position. I remained true to her through-out the marriage, even after she told me that I should go get myself a lady on the side to fulfill my sexual needs. I loved her that much. So those 3 years of marriage was a waste, a waste of her time as well as a waste of my time and effort. That was 6 years ago.

Hopefully I will do better in my next relationship.....if it ever comes.....

Lily, are you still married? Did you ask your husband directly why he doesn't want sex with you? If yes, what did he say? If no, why not?