Sex with an Ex for Money?

topic posted Fri, July 20, 2007 - 8:38 AM by 
What are your thoughts on asking an ex to borrow some cash, but that cash comes with strings... a night of fucking.

I apparently don't have any qualms about it. :) Or I'm too desperate (for both) to really care.

Buuut.... how do YOU feel about it?
posted by:
  • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

    Fri, July 20, 2007 - 8:50 AM
    I mean... does it make me a whore? Does it make me a non-dirty whore since these are people i've already crossed the sexual bridge with? Or does it NOT make me a whore if I think about it as two separate transactions. One... friend giving me money. Two... having breakup sex... months later.

    Well???
    • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

      Fri, July 20, 2007 - 10:17 AM
      If someone offers you money, but you have to have sex with them to get it, that is prostitution. Pretty much the definition of it. If you knew the person before, really doesn't enter into it.

      Now, when you ask about thinking of it as two separate transactions, are you doing this because it makes you feel better about the situation? And would he give you the money and not make you sleep with him for it? If not, then they really aren't separate.

      I'm not passing judgment, mind you. I'm just delivering the facts. Many of my best friends have been whores. Real honest to goodness on the street types, and also call girls. Then there are the friends that had the lesser sex-worker jobs… strippers, porn films, hostess club girls, go-go dancers, and dominatrixes. It’s easy to fall into when you’re broke, but it always leaves you with a terrible feeling. My advice is don’t do it.

      • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

        Fri, July 20, 2007 - 11:46 AM
        I've actually been a pro-Top and a pro-sub, and was just fine with it. Then again, I lived the lifestyle 24/7 for awhile, so getting money for it was icing... really really NICE icing.

        Yeah, they'd loan it to me regardless... I don't feel bad about it. The answer to "can you loan me money" wasn't "only if you fuck me"... it was more of a "sure. by the way, you can keep it if you fuck me..." kinda thing.

        I dunno.

        I'm ok with being a dirty whore. :) A gal's gotta do what she's gotta do to survive.
        • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

          Fri, July 20, 2007 - 1:01 PM
          What is a whore ? Sounds like a value judgment to me.
          By social standards the act might be considered unseemly... but what does it matter ?

          It might be unhealthy... but I can't determine a context... other than it seems like a prelude to complications.

          Prostitution is intertwined with low self esteem... but you really do not sound like a sex worker.
  • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

    Mon, July 23, 2007 - 3:17 PM
    "Buuut.... how do YOU feel about it?"

    I feel there is no reason to go back to an ex. They are an ex for a reason. At least, that's how it is in my life. I can be friends with my exes, but there is no way in hell that I'd be "that way" with them ever again, even if I was desperate. If the money was needed, I'd just borrow the money and pay it back, or not borrow it at all.

    Additionally, sex for money is prostitution. Prostitution is illegal in the USA right now. For me, there would be no reason for me to jeopardize life with my child.
    • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

      Mon, July 23, 2007 - 6:01 PM
      For me, there would be no reason for me to jeopardize life with my child.>>>.
      I don't think it's prostitution.

      I understand your concern for your child.
      • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

        Mon, July 23, 2007 - 7:06 PM
        Di and Cassie are right, technically it is prostitution, at least according to US law and the dictionary. You could attempt to change that, but I doubt you'd have much luck.
        • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

          Mon, July 23, 2007 - 8:45 PM
          Moreover, no one circumstance or combination of
          circumstances is in itself determinative.>>>
          From the California penal code... about prostitution

          Despite the argument that it would be difficult to prove it was not consentual sex ... and the circumstances of a loan...
          (I don't think you could establish culpability.)

          How is this enforceable ?
          How do you gather evidence ?
          • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

            Mon, July 23, 2007 - 10:14 PM
            doesn't matter if it's consensual or whether or not anyone would enforce/prosecute - it is what it is.

            and she can do it if she chooses to - I'm not making a value judgment, it's just technically prostitution.
            • Re: Sex with an Ex for Money?

              Tue, July 24, 2007 - 7:28 AM
              it is what it is.

              and she can do it if she chooses to - I'm not making a value judgment, it's just technically prostitution.>>>>>

              en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_agency
              You have not established that moral agency was violated. Sex between former lovers is NOT immoral. Friends loaning each other money is not immoral.

              I'm glad you conceded that even if the law could be interpreted as immoral then there would be no way to bring it into court and demonstrate that an immoral act. Much like anti-sodomy laws it is a value judgement based on your belief structure...

              What you have is an argument by specious similarity. Money changing hands is not proof of solicitation ... or that an immoral act was committed. You have reasserted causal inference..." but additional factors must be confirmed to establish the exact form of the causal relationship."
              en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inductive_logic
              It is a weak induction.

Recent topics in "Arguments"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
Skub Nicholas 6 May 2, 2008
Discrimination... 6 April 17, 2008
Passion or Loyalty 6 March 11, 2008
Feminism 8 March 5, 2008