I've encountered this problem too but it doesn't mean that much to me to work in a restaurant. You know being older has lots of other advantages, like I have the money to do some of the things I just dreamed of when I was younger. So I try to focus my dance energy where I will be appreciated instead of where I will be judged for things I can't help.
my 2 cents

Ok, I think you're missing my point. I'm talking about an arbitrary line being drawn in the sand, here. If you're over 35, you're out the door. I've seen some 30 year old dancers who look like they've been rode hard and put away wet, as they say in cowboy country. And, I've seen older dancers who are youthful, vibrant and well loved by the restaurant crowd. We're not talking about a "hollywood" setting here. We're talking about a neighborhood bistro. And, I'm not attacking the restaurant, per se. If anything, I'm "attacking" the woman who sent out the e-mail basically saying those over 35 didn't need to apply. The restaurant in question did hire a woman over 35 when the dust settled. I really don't give a flying fig about strip clubs, who works there or who goes there. And, am not really sure what that has to do with belly dancing.

*takes deep breath*

I find the up front and hidden ageism thing utterly insulting, and it's a huge
shame that the myth that only pretty young women (or men)
are good enough to entertain is perhaps also being perpetuated
by dancers conforming to what they imagine are an audience's expectations.

I've even seen someone advertise for troupe members under 35.

On a lighter note, the idea that this means they would have to turn down
Rachel Brice if she turned up auditioning for either restaurant or troupe is
quite hilarious...

On a more serious note. One of the things that draws me to bellydance is its
self-empowering nature. The way the dance and the costumes accentuate
and bring out individuality, femininity and strength. It's insulting to all women
to even partially discard them and their skills because they happen to be older than
some artificially imposed age limit.

Obviously there's an element of
wanting the dancer to be conventionally attractive. That's sadly something
we're always up against, no matter our age, but while some proportion
of the population are always going to have a bias for youth/appearance
over skill and energy and stage presence, there are plenty that
appreciate the older dancer.

Not least of which is the inspiration it gives women (and men) that this dance,
and the health, community, self-esteem and happiness benefits that come
with it can be embraced at ANY age.

I didn't start til just before my 40th. While I have no illusions (or desire)
to do restaurants or professional solos the dance rescued my
self-esteem and pretty much my sanity after a painful relationship.
While it's not the be all and end all I feel more confident in my
attractiveness than ever (other, perhaps than the first month of turning
up in a 90% male physics department, before I realised a lot of
the attention was 'rarety' value!), and I thoroughly enjoy all the
planning and dressing up for student solo performances and
professional troupe routines and it saddens me that the message
the media, and even members of the dance community, put out
there about age.

I would love to see older guest performers regularly with the BDSS for
instance. I've heard the strain of touring being touted as a reason
for some age limitations, but that wouldn't rule out slots
for local dancers to showcase their talents.

ok, rant over. Off to prepare for salsa class, where one guy
told me last week he thought I was 35 max. 'But your
body isn't 42' was his stunned response. So maybe I could've
snuck into a restaurant gig anyhow ;)

happy dancing everyone, and NEVER let anyone convince you you're
too old.