Hola familia,
It feels so good to be back in Auz. We're out bush on this amazing
land
in this sort of commune community of growers. Knee deep in the green.
As
soon as we came out bush, I suddenly felt such a relief and grounding.
Bali
was so stressful with with all the traffic, running around and group
processing. I feel a bit socialized out. It is so beautiful and still
here.
With kangaroos and goonanas. The sound of the wind and the birds is so
refreshing. We're next to the river and I've just been fully cleansing
and
clearing myself. The season has changed into fall and sunlight is more
crisp
and alive. I feel so centered and at home here. I feel like this is
where I
do a lot of my soul work on the planet. Grounding in the womb of Mother
Nature. I'm fully a country girl now.
Now that I've had some time to reflect on Bali, it really is
amazing all
that we acomplished in such a short time. I had been visioning up the
dream
of doing fire fingers with balinese dance for a long time now. While I
was
there, I really found myself struggling with issues of self judgement
about
my time. I kept thinking I should be doing more or seeing more. And
then
going to the other end of it, and gettiing down on myself for not just
relaxing and enjoying the island and culture. Wishin things were better
or
different. I realize now, that those are issues that keep coming up for
me
in my life. Of not accepting things just how they are. Of always trying
to
do more or see more. As if it's never enough. As if I'm never just
enough,
being me. That I have to work harder, perform more, be more and make
things
better. I went through this whole meditation at the river accepting
myself
and everything in my life. All the way back to my childhood, my life
decisions, my travels, my relationship with Dalamah. To embrace all
that Is,
instead of resisting it. It was so liberating and clearing a huge
wieght. I
found that I think I believe in trusting in the perfection of the
universe,
but underneath I have all these unconscious conditioning from childhood
of
not being enough or having to make things better. I can see the gift of
it,
in the sense that it's challenged me to reach higher and further, to
push
myself to accomplish things. But at the same time I see where it drains
my
energy and diffused my intentions. I have this inner critic from
childhood
conditioning to judge myself, instead of honoring myself and my life.
So
truly, that was the biggest gift of bali, to take a good look at myself
and
my patterns. Looking at the reflections in the friends that were there
and
the issues that they were going through. Seeing how we all co-created
each
other in that reality of bali to manifest our dreams together. Each
person
an integral part of the web, conscious dreamers of the dream of the
crystal
grid network of the planet. I realize now where I need to find more
balance
in my life with time management and my solititude soul time to deepen
in my
spiritual practice. Realize that I can't do it all, and make choices
and
sacrafices consciously in full awareness and heart intention.
I want to give such a deep thanks to to everyone, especially the core
group for all thier hard work and dedication. For dreaming the dream.
For
allowing me to come in and shine my light. Such an honor to work with
so
many talented tribe in an experiment of such imensity and potential for
affecting the crystal grid network of the planet. I see myself in all
of
you. In Lakesh. Thank you for dancing in your piece of the puzzle. For
shining so brightly and sharing your gifts from the heart. I know there
is
much to learn over the coming months about the activation we co-created
and
its ripple affect. I think what's important to remember is the feelin
of
tribe and love we manifested. That it's not about the outfit, but the
intention. Everyone workin through their issues of seperation,
acceptance,
and belonging. Processing in the emotional realms. That is the greatest
gift
we can do for the upliftment of the planet, shining our Essence self in
connected to Source. For that I really honor us and our journey. I love
you
all so much my brothers and sisters. Blessing in the Goddess. In
devotion
to the ONe Heart, Natalia
Please pass this on to the familia