When you are planning a night of debauchery, wherein you have the chance to do both topping and bottoming in the same evening, which do you prefer to do first and why?
Laura
Laura
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Wed, December 14, 2005 - 10:47 AM
Kind of depends on the people I'm playing with. I've done scenes where I topped, then bottomed and vice-versa. When it's really working, though, I htink I like to bottom, then take control of the scene and start topping. Wheew - that's hot. -
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Wed, December 14, 2005 - 11:13 AMGive the choice i like to top first, then i can relax into bottom space. It's harder for me to drag myself up from bottom space in order to top instead of going the other way around. Truth be told though i usually just take things as they come. The one thing i DON'T want to do is to both without adequate time to recover in between.
pan
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Wed, December 14, 2005 - 2:34 PMas I returning to topping now and then after wallowing in the bottom side for a while...I would say topping first, if given a choice...I tend to be worn out for a while after bottoming.... and if going to top I want all my energy available...but....if given the opportunity to bottom first, I will never turn it down...(yes, I am a slut)
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Thu, December 15, 2005 - 7:26 AMAs a new person to the scene, I have not yet done both in one night. I tend to be either in a top space or a bottom space, depending on the day. I want, what I want, when I want it.:)
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Thu, December 15, 2005 - 11:02 AMI think perhaps since I have only topped ONCE blush ! Bottom first then top someone else for you may release good emotions that you have as a bottom on to another ...... being a Bottom is a rush and topping afterwards helps release the unspent emotions.
Blush blush
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Thu, December 15, 2005 - 12:36 PMI think it's easier to Top first. Coming from sub/bottom and gearing up mentally is tough. This way you can top and do all the work then (somewhat) relax and be the bottom, letting the top go thrugh the mental exersize.
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, December 20, 2005 - 11:15 PMI usually wing it, or leave it up to the person I am playing with if they express a preference. So usually I end up bottoming first. I find being a bottom is an energy boost, so after a short recovery period, I am ready to go with top energy.
Larry
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Thu, December 29, 2005 - 8:28 AMI am most comfortable topping in public scenes. Bottoming is something I have reserved for my more private encounters. Also I find sometimes that topping from the bottom can be a most enjoy if selfish experience.
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Thu, March 30, 2006 - 4:53 PMI usually top first, and part of the fun is the transitional "turning of the table" when my victim escapes and gets his revenge...
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 8:35 PMMay I change the question? Don't answer that, I'm going to.
Do you like play with someone with whom you switch?
Or would you perfer to usually top when playing with Joe / Josephine and then usually bottom when playing with Mike / Michelle?
g.
PS: Anyone interested in "planning a night of debauchery" as our dear Tantric Laura so nicely put it? If so, post or private e-mail me. -
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 9:17 PMand for those of us in monogamous/exclusive relationships:
how do you get what you need as a switch if your partner is only top or only bottom? -
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 10:00 PM** and for those of us in monogamous/exclusive relationships:
how do you get what you need as a switch if your partner is only top or only bottom? **
With a Hitachi wand and a very creative imagination ...
= D
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 10:01 PM** Do you like play with someone with whom you switch? **
Yes.
** Or would you perfer to usually top when playing with Joe / Josephine and then usually bottom when playing with Mike / Michelle? **
Yes.
= D
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 10:13 PM** When you are planning a night of debauchery, wherein you have the chance to do both topping and bottoming in the same evening, which do you prefer to do first and why? **
First I'm about 80/20 - bottom/Top
Second, I would top first and bottom second because Topping, for me, takes effort and energy and when that is spent it's easy to "fall" into a REAL good "bottom headspace". Any "walls" built up are pretty much torn down and eroticizing any pain or going into any "role" becomes a natural flow/process. if I were try the opposite I wouldn't have the energy as I can, if warmed up properly/patiently, can take quite a bit of, uhh, "fun".
I know, I'm weird ...
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Unsu...
Re: Chicken or the egg
Tue, April 11, 2006 - 10:28 PMI think you're spot on, not weird.
Once I'm in bottom space, I can't think about topping as part of that same scene.
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Fri, April 14, 2006 - 9:46 AMI have a hard time doing both in a night and especially with the same person.
I like to really get into my role mentally, explore things fully and push my/their limits and It is hard to flip quickly.
Also I have a very strong dominant streak that takes a strong, confident dominant to tame and control. Being topped by a sub usually doesn't work because they don't project the strength and confidence, so I don't respect them in that role. I have not met a dominant who topped me well that wanted to be bottomed.
So I normally keep my tops and bottoms seperated by person and event/day. -
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Fri, April 14, 2006 - 9:58 AMI once had a moderately regular play partner with whom I'd switch back and forth in the same scene. That was always fun. I remember once slapping him several times while the cuffs I was wearing jingled. (And, yes, people thought we were crazy).
But if it's more of the standard sort of scene, I prefer topping first and bottoming after. All of that creative energy I've just expended I can just let go and relax. That's a nice feeling. But it is hard to do it, for me, especially if I'm submitting, not just bottoming. That's really rough to wrap my brain around.
Girl -
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Sat, April 15, 2006 - 10:42 AMOk, this thread got resurected so I will chime in.
Standard disclaimer: Much of this varies by person, specific situation or each persons mood at the time.
There are some people I can switch with. In fact, in some odd way, having them bottom to me actually increase my desire to bottom to them. Watching their trust in me, seeing the surrender, watching them fly, and knowing what joy I have being a part of that scene as a top, makes me want to give the same back to them. I haven't heard many people with this view point, but it can be so much a part of that dynamic for me.
However, with some other people I can't really think about bottoming to them, or having them bottom to me. I worded that very carefully ... I can certainly imagine myself topping someone but the image brakes down when I imagine them bottoming to me. -
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Re: Chicken or the egg
Sat, April 15, 2006 - 2:02 PMI'm with Simone on this one.
With some people, it is very, very special to share both!
g.
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