Vanilla seems seems to be the weekend flavored theme.
Read this, written earlier today.
people.tribe.net/eb1bad43-...d5a42ce086
Betcha

Oh, I would give it more of a chance than that!

To find somebody who is a good match in your fantasy lives is a pretty significant thing, worth investigating and developing.
The guy should be able to at least identify what he would be comfortable trying in actuality, and what he might not be so comfortable with, and give the whys and why nots.

There are just some things that a guy is going to have to overcome some initial inhibitions about - even if those same things become like second nature later. When he first tries them, he's going to be asking himself , "Is this *really* ok?" And then, after that envelope is pushed back, he has to figure out where the new boundaries are in terms of what his partners limits are.

And there's a learning curve for a lot of things that, for safety's sake, should be undertaken slowly and with patience on both partner's parts. Maybe the guy feels like he's supposed to jump in with both feet and exhibit immediate facility when really what he needs is a more experimental, playful sort of classroom like learning atmosphere, along with those kinds of encouragements.

'His wife confided in me once over the phone that they had the most boring sex life imaginable and that my friend rarely wanted to have sex. Some guys are more talk than action.'
The flipside of that story*no, I am not that person, lol* is that a guy can have so many variations of sex that when a person wants vanilla sex; it puts them off. I went through that in the beginning with my wife, as I went from whatever thing I craved to a mellow tamed down version because my love for her was/is stronger than my desire to have whatever new kick I would get on. Add to that; there wasn't much left for me to fulfill that I craved.
Had someone talked to her back then*if she were willing to answer* I would presume she would have said the same thing.
It took awhile for me to adapt and as my blog stated earlier; I sometimes have a rough moment with that.
However, I remember the love, compare it to the desire and I am *back in check*.
'was trying to fulfill'
This case above didn't apply. I was simply bored with sex and fighting my normal modes of sex.
Where one faults, they should try wearing another's shoes.
Nowadays, I have a new desire, as.....love conquers all difficulties.
Betcha.....
didn't see that honesty coming, lol.

Maybe some people take a much longer period of time to emotionally bond with another in order for them to feel comfortable exploring their fantasies with their partners, particularly the more "challenging" ones. Others will simply fly by night and do anything with anyone that happens along with no emotional bonding required. There are probably a few shades of grey between these two "types" of sensibilities.

Oh yeah: Vanilla is really an alright and very satisfying flavor sometimes....

as is Rocky Road, Mocha Almond Fudge; Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup, Neopolitan, Pistachio, etc at others.....

and don't we all have our preferences?

Don't we all try new things in our own ways in in our own time?

~V~

I suppose my biggest issue with all of this is how *far* he would go in discussions coupled with telling me how I have "no idea" just how kinky he really is...often in response to something I would bring up and he would sort of dismiss it as not all that kinky. I thought to myself, "Yeah baby, now here's a man that knows a thing or two. I can't wait to learn!"

I even told him on several occasions that one of my biggest fantasies was to give my partner full and complete control of the reigns of my own sexuality (with a clear safe word, of course) and his response was tell me I had no idea what I'm in for. Now I'm thinking he has no idea...at all. We only see each other maybe once a week and each time we're together we spend more time talking about what we want to do together (and with others) than actually doing much of anything. Thus far my favorite sexual experience with him wasn't even particularly kinky, but definitely fun and outta-tha-box. We basically just played...but kinda rough, each of us swapping dom/sub roles but with lots of wrestling to the ground and holding each other down and laughing a lot and finally fucking. I loved the silliness of doing that with him, and I loved teh eager anticipation of knowing we were gonna fuck but not knowing who was gonna *win* each round and what we might do to the *loser*.

In any case, I'm just kinda bored now. I bring these thigns up to him and he still says, "Yeah! Let's do it!", but when the moment arrives he just sticks with the same ol, same ol. So I shake it up a bit by introducing new toys, or catching him by surprise or calling him while I'm with an unexpected female lover and while his verbal responses are always positive, his physical responses are pretty much always the same. We begin [this] way, try [that] for a little while and end with [the other]. Always. It also doesn't help that I tend to go down on him at least once but up to several more times every time we're together. but he's only gone down on me 3 times ever...though he says he loves pussy. Perhaps if I had another more regular partner to satisfy me then I wouldn't feel so frustrated with him as my primary, cuz we really DO have a number of other amazing connections and bonds that mean as much, perhaps more, to me as our sexual connection.

-K