Ok, I love and adore my guy, but there's one issue we have that's making me crazy. When we're both home, I would like to take advantage of the moment and go take a nap while he watches our demon spawn. He gets so offended that I don't want to nap with him, but someone has to watch the kid. He always wants to nap with me, which is fine, when I'm not exhausted. But what makes it worse is if he does fall asleep, he'll snore like a lumber mill or if he's awake want to get frisky. Today, I went upstairs to take a nap while he was napping in our room. When he awoke he was so offended that I didn't come nap with him and was very pouty. All I wanted was some quality, undisturbed rest! Is that too much to ask?! He's so inconsiderate and over sensitive it's rediculous. Any idea how I could handle this differently or make him understand?
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Re: Make him understand?!
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 10:39 PMIt does sound like he's being a little immature about this. Some people have a difficult time understanding that some of us need quality "alone time" to rest and meditate. It doesn't mean that we love that person any less. But if your guy falls into the camp of people that believe that a couple should do everything together, it may be hard for him to comprehend that you need this time alone to recharge your batteries. Good luck! -
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 7:37 PMOh he understands I need time alone because he can spend hours all by himself playing WoW. In fact, he'll be playing WoW late into the night when he could come to bed and take advantage of the times "I'm" feeling frisky.
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 5:00 AMLet me say you're not in the boat by yourself. My husband does that same, except he falls asleep in front of the tv in the living room and refuses to go to the bedroom. Therefore we have to be quiet until he wakes up. Haven't found a good solution yet, when I do I will let you know. -
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 6:42 AM"Therefore we have to be quiet until he wakes up. " I'll start with MY solution to this problem. Why are you being quiet if he's sleeping in living space? I'd make sure make to carry on as usual and don't tip toe around. If he complains, just point out it's a LOT quieter in the bedroom. You are enabling him so don't complain! *smile*
The other napping issue is just tricky. I agree that all you can really do is tell him that while you love to nap with him (white lie, but who cares) you also have times that you really just need to catch some time by yourself.
Now I'll say, if you work, go take a nap in your car when you can if that's at all possible. I work with several people that nap on their lunch hour. I've done it too. Just make sure you have some sort of wake-up alarm system. I also have a co-worker that fell asleep at and 2:30 was shocked to find out how long she slept and no one missed her! -
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 6:53 AMKelly, I too used to take naps at lunch when I worked in colorado. I always came in with a sunburn on my face, but the little nap helped out a lot.
I need to retract something I said. We don't tiptoe around the house while he is sleeping, he is such a sound sleeper that I could probably have a party in the same room and he wouldn't wake up. It is only when he gets woke up that he is grumpy and I do as you said I tell him if he doesn't like it he can go to the bedroom - smile.
Like Munk, if I decide to nap with him, it usually takes a nookie session for us to sleep and then all is good but like her sometimes you just want to sleep.
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 7:40 PMOh my gosh, how horrible! No one missed her? That would make me worry how vital my position is.
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Re: Make him understand?!
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 7:39 PMI"m a light sleeper anyway, so the fact that he snores at night doesn't help my quality of rest. He also wants to cuddle and I need my space to fall asleep and be comfortable.
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Re: Make him understand?!
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 1:23 AMI think if it wakes you up enough to want to play all well and good. If you really need the sleep that should also be taken into account. At the same time what the body needs and what the body knows feels good can send out a different message. I'm one of those that 8 times out of ten that if the body responds, once I'm awake enough I will too!!!
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Re: Make him understand?!
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 3:59 PMSounds like he is clingy and you need to escape both children immediately... its unfair that all you ask is alone time and you are made to feel like a criminal.... take his wallet... go to a nice hotel and take a nap... matter of fact run away with his wallet for a few days stay in a really nice hotel and have the relaxation that you really need.... they'll be fine... I assure you. -
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Re: Make him understand?!
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 8:46 PMUmm, yeah, no. No wallet stealing. Jeebus folks, are you serious with this? If anybody, spouse or not, disappeared with my wallet I'd call it in stolen!
Sure, take a few nights in a hotel if he won't leave you alone, or go stay with a friend, but don't steal.That's only going to make things exponentially worse.
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Re: Make him understand?!
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 7:00 PMI can't tell you how many times I have told my Honey as soon as he walked in the door " You have the kids, I need a break!"
So, you have to just sit him down and flat out tell him " I NEED ALONE TIME!!"
Other wise do as Crystal said take and make the time.
