I am actually married and I have known my wife for ten years now. I have always been up front and honest with her and she has always known that I am attracted to and like having sex with guys. It’s always been hard to explain our relationship to others. We have never met anyone with a similar relationship and at least half of our gay friends don’t believe in bisexuality.

I trust my wife more than I have ever trusted anyone in my life. She has never lied to me. I don’t lie to her. She has no problem with me having sex with guys. She isn’t in denial. I am not cheating on her. I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She knows that and she trusts me.

Like any relationship, we have had our ups and downs. But we talk things out and have grown stronger. Yeah, I know it’s cliche, but communication is key. We have seen little things tear apart the relationships of our friends. It’s confusing. We might get mad at each other. But after we (or maybe I should say “I”) cool down, we talk it out.

I have had more of a problem from my relationships with guys. I have dated guys and have had fuck buddies since I have been with my wife. She’s known about these relationships. We’ve talked about them and she’s even tried to help me in them. She has met some of the guys I have seen and has tried to offer them advice on getting along with me.

Some of the guys that I have seen have complained that my relationship with them is not like my relationship with my wife or that they want my relationship with them to be just like my relationship with my wife. And I explain that I have known my wife for many years and that it took time and effort to get to where we are right now.

Some guys just can’t accept my wife. Anyone who knows us for any length of time knows we are committed to each other forever. Anyone who thinks that they can come between us, quickly learns the impossibility of that. And anyone who tries to come between me and my wife will be ejected from my life immediately.

When I first met my wife, she didn’t want to hear about my exploits with guys. She didn’t ask that I not sleep with guys, but she asked me to keep that part separate from her. Then she started to become more comfortable with it and started to ask questions. I would answer her questions honestly and gently. Sometimes the information would be too much for her and she’d ask me to stop and I would. Immediately. I never pushed her past where she was comfortable.

Eventually we progressed to where we could talk pretty openly about my exploits. She could meet the guys I was seeing and we could all go out to dinner together. Again, I never lied to her. Never kept anything secret from her. If I felt trapped or that something was unfair, I would tell her an we would talk it out. She would tell me why she felt more comfortable if things were a certain way, and we would talk it out. And we would both be willing to compromise. I care about her feelings. I know she cares about mine. And we try to be fair to each other.

When I first proposed to my wife, she turned me down. She said that when she married that she wanted it to be for real. Yeah, that hurt. My feelings for her were for real. But you’ve got to understand the society that we live in. And you can’t be quick to lash out when you’re hurt. Society says that monogamy is “for real.” Society says that heterosexual marriages are “for real.” A lot of gays don’t even acknowledge the existence of bisexuality.

So even though I was hurt, I didn’t lash out. My relationship with my wife was too important. We stayed together. We continued to grow. We talked things out. I explained my position, my views about life. And we both realized that we wanted to spend our lives together, that we want to grow old together. So eventually we did get married.

So that’s my own experience with having a wife and being attracted to guys.