First off, I want to make it clear to one girl reading this that this is not directed at her! It is a philosophical question I've been mulling over since the party, and I'm going to use my personal experience as examples in order to initiate the discussion.

Last time that I went to BiSect, I felt like there was one thing missing: girlkissin'. So I went determined to increase the amount of smooching going on, singlehandedly if need be. (I'd tossed around the idea of coming dressed as the "Kissing Fairy", but I didn't have the chance to get a costume together. I may try it for the next BiSect, though...)

I know that often in all-girl environments, and also among bisexual women, there is the "lesbian sheep" problem; while girls are comfortable with admiring each other from across a crowded room, or even having an intense conversation, we are so well-socialized not to take the initiative in a more physical manner that it can be hard to make any sort of sensual approach toward someone. (I once spent a year and a half "not-dating" a girl simply because neither of us could get the ovaries up to initiate that first kiss!)

It was important to me to embark on my smoochin' mission in as laid-back a fashion as possible, however. While being enthusiastic enough about the general kissing experience to make each woman I spoke to realize that, yes, I did find her pretty and desirable, I wanted to be just casual enough that whoever I was approaching would realize that I wasn't necessarily asking for their hand in marriage, or even anything more, EVER, than that one kiss. I also wanted to make it clear that I would not be upset or hurt if they said no.

The reactions I got were interesting. At least one person told me it broke the ice for them and allowed them to move on and kiss other girls. Yay! Mission accomplished! Some women seemed really enthusiastic. (Perhaps someday I'll get to kiss them some more. *g* ) Some seemed a bit flustered by my boldness.

One thing I realized over the course of the night, however, is that while I view kissing as something fun that doesn't necessarily need to lead to anything else, other people might view it a little more seriously. I was also, frankly, a little surprised because no one said no to me. On the one hand, it may mean that I'm just that devastatingly attractive. *grin* On the other, it may be a sign that women don't feel like it's okay to say no to other women, even if they don't want to say yes.

So, I'm curious. What goes through your mind when a girl asks if she can kiss you? And do you feel like you can turn her down? How hard do you find it to approach a girl who you'd like to kiss, and how does it differ from trying to approach a boy you're interested in? How do you view kisisng in general? Is it casual for you, or is it something you only do with people you'd like to get serious about? Are you hurt if a woman who kisses you at a party also goes on to kiss someone else?