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Pre retirement course

topic posted Fri, September 12, 2008 - 5:04 AM by  Ben 		Share/Save/Bookmark
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I have started a pre retirement course - never to soon consider these things. We were asked to list the things we could spend our (remaining) time doing. Here are my first thoughts. Maybe this group can come up with some more things.

1) Do all my shopping at the supermarket between noon and 2pm.
2) Repeat myself over and over.
3) Drive about aimlessly at 25ph in the evening rush hour.
4) Dither.
5) Have a permanent doctors appointment for 5.30pm every work day.
6) Repeat myself over and over.
7) Have my hair cut on Saturday mornings.
8) Talk in stage whispers about the fashions of young 'uns (Does he know his underwear is showing - must she show her belly?)

Please write your suggestions in BIG LETTERS!

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Ben
offline Ben
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  • Ben
    Ben
    offline 0

    Re: Pre retirement course

    Fri, September 12, 2008 - 5:05 AM
    9) Talk to myself.
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    • JM
      JM
      offline 97

      Re: Pre retirement course

      Fri, September 12, 2008 - 8:45 AM
      WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND GOING FOR A DRIVE AT RUSH HOUR, BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR HAIR CUT ON A SATURDAY, WHY NOT ALSO DO YOUR GROCERY SHOPPING JUST SUBSEQUENT TO YOUR DAILY DRIVE? THAT'S WHAT THE OLD LADIES IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD DO.

      NOT TO CRITICIZE YOU. I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT. JUST WONDERING WHAT YOUR LOGIC WAS, SO I CAN EXTEND MY OWN PLEASURE WHEN THE TIME COMES (FOR THE MOMENT, I'LL JUST MEDITATE ON IT FOR THE NEXT 40 YEARS).
      I MEAN, NOT TO CRITICIZE YOU. I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT.

      HAVE YOU EVER TRIED GOING FOR A DRIVE MORE LIKE AROUND 3 AM IN A QUIET SUBURB? NOT ONLY IS THERE LESS TO SEE, IT ALSO INCREASES YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LOST, AND ROUNDING THAT SAME CUL-DE-SAC 5 TIMES UNTIL EVERY MAILBOX ON IT IS FAMILIAR.
      I MEAN, NOT TO CRITICIZE YOU OR ANYTHING. I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT. AND THE PART ABOUT COMMENTS ON YOUNG PEOPLE'S CLOTHING WAS A GOOD ONE.
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      • Diana
        Diana
        offline 268

        Re: Pre retirement course

        Fri, September 12, 2008 - 10:47 AM
        Jeff, your use of all caps is quite disturbing.

        I don't like suburbs with Cul de sacs and windy streets. I like the predictable and easily navigated grid system.
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        • Susie
          Susie
          online 40

          Re: Pre retirement course

          Sat, September 13, 2008 - 2:33 AM
          Well on the one hand ,Jeff did as asked and used all BIG LETTERS.On the other hand,it is a bit disturbing thus to lessen the possiblity of overstimulation it might be best to avoid doing this. Yet on the other hand, the use of frequent repetition such as "
          NOT TO CRITICIZE YOU. I'M SURE YOU THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT IT" adds a nice dull timbre to the proceedings.So where are we now with this? I'm confused...

          I have a suggestion for Ben- he needs to be a frequent visitor to his local council offices.He should demand to see plans for proposed projects and object to each and every one of them on the basis that it is "not in keeping with the area".Progress is evil , any change is bad and must be stopped.If nothing else, he should very loudly complain about any proposed changes and make a counter suggestion that a local crafts shop and /or community centre should go where any commercial proposals are made,blatently ignoring the fact the properties in question are privately not publicly owned. The best times to visit the council would be for 12-2 when working folks are trying to get somthing done during lunch or at 4:45 on Friday when the weary council workers want to go home.
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          • JM
            JM
            offline 97

            Re: Pre retirement course

            Sat, September 13, 2008 - 3:27 AM
            HAVE YOU EVER TRIED GOING FOR A DRIVE AROUND 3 AM IN A QUIET SUBURB?
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            • Susie
              Susie
              online 40

              Re: Pre retirement course

              Sat, September 13, 2008 - 5:31 AM
              Not sure, I think I might have gone on one at around 3:17 am. Does that count? What about going in circles in the outer lagoon in Venice on the water bus at 1:39 am when we meant to go down the grand canal but took the first bus that came? Is it somthing like that?
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              • JM
                JM
                offline 97

                Re: Pre retirement course

                Sat, September 13, 2008 - 8:01 AM
                ... er... something like that, sure. Except with a hightened sense of isolation.
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                • Ben
                  Ben
                  offline 0

                  Re: Pre retirement course

                  Thu, September 18, 2008 - 11:31 AM
                  Yes, I've thought long and hard about it, fifty years so far but not much to show for it. I like the idea of occupying the council offices except that's where I work and they are trying to get shut of me. Don't know why, I'm just getting into the swig of things ... oops I mean swing. I like the idea of phoning them at knocking-off time. (That's an English knocking-off!)

                  Yes, I'll complain about planning applications, especially skate parks, youth clubs, coffee bars PAH kids today are spoiled rotten. Why when I was a lad ... er ... I've forgotten.

                  As I'm in Blighty we don't have roads in a grid system to drive round. We have the M25 so I could try driving down that until I get to the end ...

                  I could join the fights in the library over the latest gardening magazine but it might restart my heart. Then I wouldn't be able to drive like the livin' dead.

                  Queuing is always good for the soul. Pushing to the front with a walking stick, ask to see the manager and then complain about the queue. Must practice glowering, especially at kids. Must get a bigger stick. Must hire a kid to carry my stick.

                  I shall need to resign from this group when I retire with all the fun and excitement. There's two words I didn't expect. Now I see how bad things can get.

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                    JM
                    JM
                    offline 97

                    Re: Pre retirement course

                    Thu, September 18, 2008 - 2:51 PM
                    Goodness. You city folk sure like to keep busy.
                    My grandfather was content with a day-long game of solitaire at the kitchen table and adjusting the valves of his oxygen tank.
                    But whatever floats your boat.

                    Personally, I expect to ride out my golden years by never retiring at all. Already, in progressive countries like Sweden and Norway, retirement has been pushed back to 70. I'm aiming for 85. Your idea on gardening magazines gave me an idea, though. Maybe if I can publish a few articles in them now and then I can aim to retire at 84.

                    Cheers! And try to avoid those Russian on-line wives, even when lines, planning applications and library spats get you down. They're nothing but trouble.
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                    • Susie
                      Susie
                      online 40

                      Re: Pre retirement course

                      Fri, September 19, 2008 - 12:35 AM
                      Fights need not be limited to the library.In just the few past weeks I have seen altercations amongst oldsters in various settings.At the Venice airport,since there were no cattle ropes to keep things orderly several lines formed for check-in and 2 old couples in front of us both thought , by rights, they were next.There were many minutes of angry exchange then the lady in front of me told the other couple they were stupid because we're all getting on the same plane.

                      Only the other day, in that safely dull(so I thought) shop full of boring items Wilkenson's the customer before me and the cashier had a screaming match over if she had paid for a pen or not.Eventually she found the item on her receipt and got the pen then she demanded an apology and in the midst of all this the cashier forgot to give me a bag so I had to ask for one .That is really a bit too stimulating for a trip to Wilkenson's.

                      So ,yes, I imagine you shall be busier than ever.There are many things to protest and fights can be picked just about anywhere and anytime.
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