well, lynne, I had to come back for another go-round on this. women also fear sex, I think. do we women all have daddy issues? perhaps. sex is so natural and pleasurable, it is difficult for me to understand why we fear it. some are of the opinion that sex is our most base, animalistic expression. is it not also our most elevated, human state?

when one surrenders to the sensations, when pleasure is derived from pleasuring another, when one accepts the gifts of another, when one’s mind and body is fully in the moment – what is there to fear?

in western culture, there has been an artificial paradigm created around sex, where sex is power. this, I believe, has instilled fear in many, and overshadows the mystery of mother and son. the media increases the pressure, as we are bombarded with icons of physical perfection and steered towards modifying ourselves to meet those unrealistic standards.

my parents were open about sexuality, and I have a positive view of sex as a result. how this can be taught to others is beyond my scope.

Jacq I am surprised you have not read this classic book! It was the pivotal book for feminism. Some feminists critised Simone because in her book they felt she did not tackle the roots of mans power, & seemed to them to have issue with the feminine body..but is`nt that what they say about Camille Paglia? A lot of fems believe that if a woman tackles this subject that she is anti-women in some way. I get accused of this often, but after all we are talking about women really, as women ourselves. The matter of men is for men...& so many can lead the way in human evolvement if only they would take responsibility for their own identity & not others. Who would really want to listen to someones saying they are marvellous & all else is shit? We have to acknowledge are differences as well as our strengths & weaknesses. Until we do our balance is out of sinc!

I am surprised also that you query men fearing women, does`nt CP explain this phenomenon within sexual personnae? Simone de Beauvoir does, which in part I put in my last post, but you really need to read the book to fully comprehend where she was coming from...the innate nature!

regards your situation, I think its important that we accept that even though sometimes we cannot offer say a male influence with a boy/son, but the family of man can, ie: male friends, relatives etc. Also we need to fill our head 7 soul with a bigger consciousness, a bigger opicture rather than delving too deep in emotional closeness protectiveness to our children. As a great deal of this energy is about our own lack of self-esteem or our own innate needs.
The first part of Simones book is about the psychology, sociology, myths, history etc of humankind, the second part is the female social journey & although it was written in the 40`s & some issues are slightly different, dress etc, codes...it is still a timeless peice, which I feel are the hallmarks of a great historical classic.

Women have far more pwer than they give themselves credit for. They hold the key to human condition within motherhood..so within this too they can unknowing create monsters as well. When I try & tackle this subject I now find it wearing, as it evokes anger or verbal attack at times...wasting precious energy trying to wade through the inadequecies & fears of women. Also women who are not mothers or are sexually attached to women create hurdles constantely...time is spend trying to overcome these hurdles instead of allowing the freedom of the course, thus enabling intelligent conversation & understanding to actually get somewhere. If you know what I mean?
We must always question not only ourselves but the environment we are in, this is progress! We cannot continue to blame. Blame others, blame our environment (cos, we cannot always change that immediately). We blame everything & everybody BEFORE we look at our own inability to absorb the new..or change. We are all on our own personal life journeys & adventure within each phase is integral. So it is`nt the journey that is to blame but the way we see that journey & how we deal with life ironies.
Fear is the major obstacle of most people, if not all.