Have you ( as in you all - grin ) ever felt & shared a loving, close intimate friendship with someone who is more than ten years difference in age? Sometimes I meet people older & younger by say ten, fifteen or more years than each other who end up sharing a genuine, mutually enriching heart & soul connection. In my own experience so far, a few of the more memorable friend & more intimate relationships were with women older & younger ( still legal age - I'm not referring to that young of course ). For a little over two years starting when I was @ 23, what started with our meeting when I saw her related to her professiona, developed into a friendship and then a much more wholistically intimate relationship with a woman nearly twenty years older than myself. As far as age difference, there were of course some obvious ones with some experiences in life. Though mostly they were ultimately superficial compared to the ageless value of a shared, timeless soul love, respect and openness to the beautiful mystery of life and feelings. And I've met people here & there who have met someone, or more than one, born many years apart who share a deep, perhaps nonrational but nonetheless beautifully profound, loving & fulfilling feeling connection with each other. There can be a beautifully loving spiritual clarity and freedom in allowing natural feelings of love & soul level connection to be experienced, explored and shared beyond arbitrary mentally constructed limitations. Well, within common sense, obviously children, direct relatives & mentally compromised people would best be related to minus the more sexually or emotionally erotic connection. But that is a whole different reality. Anyone remember Harold & Maude?
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Tue, July 1, 2008 - 11:43 PMMy bf (kind of ex-bf now lol) is 7 yrs older than I am. And my Hungarian friend (the one I posted on here about before), is 13 yrs older than I am :) And the new guy I'm talking to now is 12 yrs older than me haha :)) So for me it seems to be a pattern to form close or intimate friendships/relationships with people quite a bit older than myself.
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 2, 2008 - 8:10 AMAll of the women I have been close with are older than I am. The biggest age difference being 16 years. I think I communicate better with older women in general. I happen to have a connection somehow and as it turns out they are older than me. I haven't really gone after them, but more often than not when I form an attraction with a woman they seem to be older...... -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 2, 2008 - 9:05 AMI was involved with a guy 11 years younger than me and we're still friends although he has moved on to another relationship. He was barely 19 when we met but we connected very well on a "soul" level as you say. And more recently I was involved with a couple of guys about 5-6 years younger. I have never had a relationship with anyone that much older than me though (?) My preference is to date within 2-3 years of my age range simply because no one else understands me liking 80's music or remembers old t.v. shows from the late 70's lol. Well, I guess an older guy would but I have never come across one that's been interested! The young-uns love me though!! ha -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 2, 2008 - 9:40 AMlol I think one of the reasons I like older guys is because I also like the older 80s music and some of the old tv shows. I love Depeche Mode :) And as far as tv shows.. one of my favorite ones is Three's Company lol :D And ironically I don't really feel a lot in common with guys my age. I have a lot of teenage guys and 20s interested in me, but I'm never interested in them.. I'm always having to tell them, 'sorry, I prefer older men.' preferably late 20s or early 30s lol :) -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 2:47 PMThe older 80's music?!! That made me smile. There were some very good bands during that time... Mary's Danish, Thelonious Monster, Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers... Heather thanks for reminding me. Those four bands played the Hollywood clubs when they were all starting. It's was an exciting time in L.A. music. And, yes I met a few of those "older" women there that would take advantage of poor young me.....
Thelonious Monster... www.youtube.com/watch
www.youtube.com/watch
Mary's Danish...... www.youtube.com/watch
www.youtube.com/watch -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 9:18 PM"The older 80's music?!! That made me smile."
lol :) I also love Duran Duran, Nine Inch Nails (I think he's more 90s though lol), New Order, etc..
And I love Stripped and In Your Room :D They're a couple of my favorite DM songs :))
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Unsu...
Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 2, 2008 - 8:44 PMmy parents would tell me on numerous occasion to make friends with my own peers and would never understand my reasoning for associating with people who are older than i am. -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 2, 2008 - 11:10 PMDepeche Mode - Ha! So happens "Stripped" - Rammstein version, and now "In Your Room" are playing while I read a book on personal training ( and briefly check in here ). Still love their feeling years later. For any of you in your relationships with people much younger or older what, if anything, did you love & feel nurtured or seemed challenging that you attributed to your age difference? One of the women I was involved with who is significantly older than me used to sometimes feel self-conscious socially @ how her some of her collegues and similarly aged friends would judge her for being with someone my age. But several of her same age friends who were also part of the local community of "healing arts" practitioners she was part of, were also involved with men & women five - twenty years younger or older, happy and supportive of our connection. While there are people my age and older I'm attracted to now still, I've been finding a number of women much younger attractive at feeling, heart - soul, as well as physical & sexual levels, too. Hmmmnn?. Remaining open to experience what exists to experience of mutual inspired love & desire. Yes, I feel desire is sometimes a very healthy energy, catalyzing growthful experiences, explorations & expressions. As long as it furthers energies & feelings of love. Maybe that sounds corny to some? But it feels good to me. -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 1:58 PM"So happens "Stripped" - Rammstein version, and now "In Your Room" are playing while I read a book on personal training ( and briefly check in here )."
*high five* :)
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 9:52 PM*high five* back to you.
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 1:03 AMAge is meaningless. I've met people 20 years in either direction who have been either extremely mature (very sexy to me) or amazingly immature (huge turn off). To me its what's upstairs that counts. Age is just a number.
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 9:30 PMyes here on tribe all the time ... sexy older women ... smart ... experienced... wise ... done playing games like their younger counterparts... yes yes ... i love cougars.... : P
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 9:39 PMI'm still in the 'game playing' phase haha :)) j/k :D
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 8:31 PMHarold and Maude was a great film! Yes I've been involved initimately with people who are 18 and 15 years apart from me in age.
I don't feel it matters for the soul connection.
But I am not sure how deep the connection was. Perhaps my Aquarian moon is responsible for keeping me in that illusion that I am not that connected to even those most intimate? -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Wed, July 9, 2008 - 10:13 AMBeen with my scorpio boyfriend for 10 years, he is 13 years older than me. His Saturn also conjunct my Venus in capricorn. I really don't feel the age thing at all. He also has Mars in Scorpio, so that probably means he will never need Viagra... lol
Seriously though, I have always been attracted to older guys. At least 5 years older. That's kind of a rule for me.
Friendship is different, I can have friends of all ages. the youngest friend I have is 30 (I'm 34) and the oldest is 53.
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Mon, July 21, 2008 - 12:30 AMIf you try to constrain a relationship by rationalizations about "too old" or "too young" you're only limiting yourself. Every human being is at a different stage of development for their age, with consideration of their past experiences, and past life experiences as well... we are only here to help one another grow. 10, even 20 years is really nothing when you're talking about love. People don't find love until they're ready for it and when they do find it the experience has no age. -
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Re: Age difference & intimate friendships
Mon, July 21, 2008 - 7:49 AMi guess with me.. it's not so much constraining but the reality of such a difference it shows.
i met this person a couple years ago and we hit it off because of the love we have for classical movies. we would talk about it for hours at work and finally decided to hang out with him. i just remember eating at the restaurant with him talking about old movies and about 15 minutes later, we couldn't talk about anything else because the things he went through i didn't experience and likewise for him. he would talk about events that happened even decades before i was born (i mean i loved listening but it was hard to not reply to it)...
but i guess you're right -- i can be friends and most people i do get along with are much older than myself but romantically, it seems harder for me...
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