Hello Cheap Asses! I am reporting to you live from the Cheap Ass Pride Fiesta outside of Flagstaff City Hall. Other than a group of people getting into a fight over a stray penny they found on the ground, we cheap asses are having an awesome time! This fiesta is crazy! Even fiscally conservative Ronald Reagan has returned from the dead to show off his cheap pride!

I wish you could all see the amazing clothes people are wearing! They're all so trendy yet cheap. Never before have so many thrift store purchased outfits, converged in one place. I am currently wearing a stunning suit jacket purchased at Goodwill. There's a beautiful young women standing near me, wearing the latest from the Wal-Mart's Fall line.

The cheap ass meal consisting of rice, oatmeal, and Pabst Blue RIbbon is about to be served. Excuse me as I go and grab myself a plate. I will keep you updated on the day's events.