Chimpy McFlightsuit's topics - tribe.net

Quick thinker?

AllanO' — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 15:38:08 GMT

The terrorists have grabbed Bill Clinton, John Kerry, and George Bush. They are going to execute each one of them, via firing squad, in front of the whole world...

Bill Clinton is placed against the wall and just before the order to shoot him is given, he yells, "Earthquake!".

The firing squad falls into a panic and Bill jumps over the wall and escapes in the confusion.

John Kerry is the second one placed against the wall. The squad is reassembled and John ponders what his old pal Bill has done. Before the order to shoot is given, John yells, "Tornado!".

Again the squad falls apart and Kerry slips over the wall thus making his escape.

The last person, George W. Bush, is placed against the wall. He is thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall"

As the firing squad is reassembled and the rifles raised in his direction, he smirks his famous smirk and yells, "Fire!"

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 0 replies

Chimpy on the OUTS

sMel — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 14:06:26 GMT

Soon Chimpy will be gone from torturing us in the big seat! What will he do, ya think? Disappear into the posh luxury of banana splits and money mattresses every night, or continue to throw poopie with the other chimps playing politics in the scene?

Will the devil immediately come to claim his rightfully bargained for soul--or does he have a bigger agenda for this boob?

Dare I ask, what more could happen? Does his fate, indeed, end with a hilarious season of Hollywood Squares?

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 0 replies

Is Chimpy A Laughable Fool?...

AllanO' — Tue, 07 Mar 2006 18:37:29 GMT

... or a dangerous impeachable criminal?

An excerpt from an article titled: "The Case For Impeachment -- Why we can no longer afford George W. Bush" from the March 2006 issue of Harper's:

"We have before us in the White House a thief who steals the country's good name and reputation for his private interest and personal use; a liar who seeks to instill in the American people a state of fear; a televangelist who engages the United States in a never-ending crusade against all the world's evil, a wastrel who squanders a vast sum of the nation's wealth on what turns out to be a recruiting drive certain to multiply the host of our enemies. In a word, a criminal -- known to be armed and shown to be dangerous.*

"*As of January 17, 2006, the rap sheet listed 2,229 American military dead in Iraq together with an unknown number of Iraqi civilians; what looks to be the sum of $1 trillion, by some estimates $2 trillion, already committed to the Project for the American Century's real estate development in the Mesopotamian desert. Better reasons to impeach a president than the one pressed into service against Bill Clinton, whos penis was known to be aimless and shown to be harmless.

"Under the three-strike rule available to the courts in California, judges sentence people to life in jail for having stolen from Wal-Mart a set of golf clubs or a child's tricycle. Who then calls strikes on President Bush, and how many more does he get before being sent down on waivers to one of the Texas Prison Leagues?"

AllanO'
(Just A Canadian Who Can't Take His Eyes Off A Car Wreck-in-progress)

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 0 replies

Welcome

dogalmighty — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 19:32:15 GMT

All please welcome Black Angus, the creator of the "Chimpy McFlightsuit name. Or at least the one who introduced it to most of us....
:)

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 4 replies

chimpy and pal

th0rn — Thu, 20 Oct 2005 06:28:37 GMT

chimpy has a new pal, check out the gallery...

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 0 replies

Dubyaspeak

AllanO' — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 16:54:34 GMT

Chimpy needs no help at all proving he's illiterate and confused.

http://www.dubyaspeak.com/

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 2 replies

A Brazillian!?!?

AllanO' — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 13:54:03 GMT

Donald Rumsfeld is giving president George W. Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 2 replies

Nothing Adds Up With Dubya Math

AllanO' — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 17:10:58 GMT

In its continuing quest to ensure that no child is left behind, the U.S. government is revamping the nation's school curriculum from top to bottom. Desperate to improve students' test scores in arithmetic, the government is now urging more and more schools to introduce a program known as "Dubya Math."

What follows are a few sample questions from an official Dubya math exam:

1. George W.'s tree house, where he hangs out with the other kids in his club, Dick and Donald and Condi and Karl, needs more supporting braces to ensure that it doesn't come crashing down in the event of a high wind. If George W. needs three two-by-fours, each 6 feet long, and they cost 50 cents a foot, how much does George W. have to spend to make his tree house safe?

a) $9

b) $6.50

c) There's no money for tree house maintenance, because the clubhouse has directed that all of its two-by-four budget go to making huge, honking wooden swords to go after those kids over on Maple Ave., who look like trouble and hate freedom.

2. George W. has an early morning paper route, and even though he's been warned time and time again that he needs to set his alarm to get up in time, he forgets and sleeps in by 40 minutes. If it normally takes George W. one hour to deliver 50 papers, how many friends of George W.'s daddy will be needed to deliver that many papers in a third of the time? Show your calculations.

3. Dick and Donald and Condi and Karl have had their monthly club dues, of $3 each, cut to $2 by George W. One day, that big wind storm comes and knocks the tree house to the ground. It will cost $20 to rebuild. If George W. puts the dues back up to $3, how many months will it take for that increase to pay for a new tree house?

a) five months

b) one year

c) the dues stay at $2, the tree house gets rebuilt, everyone gets ice cream with cookie dough in it as well as a new Game Boy, $50 is committed to make even more huge, honking wooden swords and to purchase a dozen slingshots, and plans are made to get those dues down even further, to $1.75, all because George W. has borrowed a whole whack of money from that Chinese kid down the block, and everyone is going to live happily ever after.

4. George W. has reliable intelligence that a house over on Maple Ave. has cupcakes of mass proportions. Donald decides the house can be invaded, and the cupcakes seized, with only half a dozen of the neighbourhood kids. If there are 24 cupcakes, and six kids go in to get them, how many cupcakes must each kid carry?

a) eight

b) four

c) turns out there are no cupcakes, but the six kids, the poor little bastards, are outnumbered by a pack of pit bulls who pounce on them the moment they sneak in through the basement window.

5. George W. and his friends love soda pop! They drink it like crazy! Gallons and gallons of it! Whenever they're thirsty, and even when they're not, they drink soda pop, and never invest any time in finding something else to drink, in case soda pop becomes hard to find, or goes way up in price. If George W. and his four friends each drink five gallons of soda pop a day, and the Middle Eastern guy who runs the corner variety store says he only has 300 gallons left, how many days will it be before they run out of soda pop?

A: Trick question! There is no answer! The problem is so incredibly complex, it can only be explained through intelligent design.

~Linwood Barclay, Toronto Star, October 3, 2005

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 0 replies

Crosspost: Great bush game!

Steve — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 01:57:04 GMT

www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

Now, only if there was sound...

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 3 replies

So, Mr. President...

jason_s — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 19:51:30 GMT

...still need a little more time to study global climate change?

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 2 replies

Heya!

Steve — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 07:10:36 GMT

Welcome! Let the games begin!

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 2 replies

That's My Bush!

Willie — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 07:24:37 GMT

Did you ever catch this TV show? It featured George and Laura in classic sitcom format and was, IMHO, freakin' HILARIOUS. It was by the guys who did South Park, Team America, Baseketball, Cannibal the Musical etc etc.

My fave is the espisode where Chimpy takes Ecstacy, thinking it's asprin.

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 4 replies

flightsuite photos

th0rn — Thu, 22 Sep 2005 09:04:19 GMT

i dunno how long ill actually stay in this tribe, but at least long enough to give a few better photos of the "aviator doll" i have. putting one in gallery now.
funny- figure was shipped with a left hand salute
the WRONG hand, and pointed at his head rather than in salute position, more like putting a gun to his head metaphorically.......

posted in Chimpy McFlightsuit - 1 reply