It's just not fair to be forced to be profound on demand, i have my off days just like anyone else. Sometimes my brain is just in a muddle (actually often times because i have add). Being forced to journal, well, somtimes there is really nothing to journal about. Being forced to journal almost defeats the purpose of journaling. Journal entries are an outlet and record for when thoughts arise or when memories need be noted to be remembered in the future. A journal entry should be a spontaneous thing. It seems like they are forcing you to have spontaneous thought that is noteworthy, and often if a thought is forced it will not and could not be as meaningfully as when one is spontaneously generated. So basically, yah it hella sux to be put on the spot like that.

Here we are forced to speak in class and it is not on voluntary basis, if we don't speak our grade suffers. Someday i feel trashed, o say from pulling consecutive all nighters because i have two papers and a midterm all in one week. Because i don't speak does not mean i am not absorbing the material and thinking about it critically, and it does not mean i am not coming up with interesting and meaningful ideas, it just means i am physically incapable of speaking or the crappy class environment has lulled me into a stupper and i am forced to seek mental enrichment by retreating into my own thoughts. Or maybe, for whatever reason ... all the competitive bullshit that goes on in class and the lack of positive reinforcement has made me loath the idea of putting myself up for judgment in front of a bunch of facile douchebagstic ass hatters who have nothing better to say than to point out the phallic imagery in everything and only actually participating by stealing others ideas. Just as you should not be forced to journal ... somtimes ... i just don't feel like talking... being put on the spot is not nice.

The weather here? last week its been rainy and windy, this week its been about 90 degrees every day, and the lack of cloud cover has been turning downtown into a frying pan.

Right now i have to write a paper. Right now i should be writing a paper. On Robert Herrick's "The Vine". I had to choose any 1 or 2 pieces of work out of about the 100 poems, 10 essays and 2 novels we have read from restoration period authors. Now i have to go about the task of creating my own topic for the paper. Usually i have no problems with that but lately i have been in a utter and total fog and it has been hard enough just trying to choose the poem i should write on. Usually i have to read at least 5-7 hours a day so this BS paper is really putting me behind. As a result i cant concentrate on my paper because all i can think about is how far behind on my reading i am getting. Le-sigh...

Sorry for the long rant but i felt like venting... ^_^