I got an email from an old girlfriend out in Alberta yesterday...
I hook'd up with her back in 87 - 88 for about 8 months !
We went our seperate ways under good relations...she went to UBC in Vancouver and I ...well I was a ski bum at the time and went about travel'n around the Canadian Rockies look'n for powder !
It was brought to my attention yesterday that I have a son thats 21 years old !
She apparently got pregnant in the 7 1/2 month point of our 8 month relationship ...she says she tried to find me...but...me being me back then...was next to impossible!
Anyway this is the 2nd email I got from her yesterday....
Whoa, where to begin... Russell's birthday is September 18th, he is an amazing person (not that I'm biased or anything). I think he has some of your looks and he is tall and slender. Russell knows everything, well everything I knew, he knows I chose to raise him alone, he knows your name, that you are from Ontario, that you are an artist and that your father was Irish. I have thought about you over the years as well, wondered over and over if I made the right choice but I was young and we barely knew each other so I did the best I could. Russell is curious about you and that's the main reason I'm writing. I thought it was a good idea if I tested the water, so to speak, to see if you were interested in talking to him. Unfortunately, I'm heading out of town for a week, so I will write again when I get back.
Selena
P.S.
Sorry about the pictures when I get back I will send better ones. In the group one he is in the centre facing directly into the camera and in the other one that is his girlfriend next to him.
I believe her...but man this whole thing has me alittle weirded out !
I hook'd up with her back in 87 - 88 for about 8 months !
We went our seperate ways under good relations...she went to UBC in Vancouver and I ...well I was a ski bum at the time and went about travel'n around the Canadian Rockies look'n for powder !
It was brought to my attention yesterday that I have a son thats 21 years old !
She apparently got pregnant in the 7 1/2 month point of our 8 month relationship ...she says she tried to find me...but...me being me back then...was next to impossible!
Anyway this is the 2nd email I got from her yesterday....
Whoa, where to begin... Russell's birthday is September 18th, he is an amazing person (not that I'm biased or anything). I think he has some of your looks and he is tall and slender. Russell knows everything, well everything I knew, he knows I chose to raise him alone, he knows your name, that you are from Ontario, that you are an artist and that your father was Irish. I have thought about you over the years as well, wondered over and over if I made the right choice but I was young and we barely knew each other so I did the best I could. Russell is curious about you and that's the main reason I'm writing. I thought it was a good idea if I tested the water, so to speak, to see if you were interested in talking to him. Unfortunately, I'm heading out of town for a week, so I will write again when I get back.
Selena
P.S.
Sorry about the pictures when I get back I will send better ones. In the group one he is in the centre facing directly into the camera and in the other one that is his girlfriend next to him.
I believe her...but man this whole thing has me alittle weirded out !
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 9:52 AMWhooooooo..........
Dunno the answer, but go with your heart and a DNA test.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 10:30 AMSo meet him. Just do it. Go for it. DO IT!! -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 10:51 AMI just found him on Facebook !
Jesus...I just ...don't know what the hell ta say to him...should I wait for Selena to make the introductions...fuck me this is mess'n with my head ! -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 11:00 AMmaybe you should make the first move, start with something like "your mom got ahold of me and I would like to get to know you better" then give him some information on yourself. End with something like - I will understand if you don't want to respond to this letter but I only hope you will so that we may begin to build a relationship with each other." Corny but it puts the ball back into his court to do with what he wants to.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 10:53 AMI feel you. We ran into a guy in Germany that was the exact image of my husband (our kids even mistook him for my hubby). Turns out he is from a town that my husband used to run around in. The guy never would tell us his mom's name - so we will never know.
I second invincible's advice.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Tue, May 6, 2008 - 12:00 PMWell...I agree with the start slow with a letter, maybe arrange for a meeting in the near future ad so on....but save the DNA testing . Look for the resemblances first, and if you just don't see any, then talk to Selene about it BEFORE you say anything to the young man. Be Tactful.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 1:33 PM"The central struggle of parenthood is to let our hopes for our children outweigh our fears. " -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 3:24 PMWell..now that I've work'd thru the new married names and such...with Selena out for a week I track'd down her sister and have discovered that Russell ( my son ) does'nt know she made contact with me yet and I should probley wait for her return before I contact him!
I can't believe how much this is mess'n with my head ! -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 3:33 PMYOu seem to be holding strong! You have thought out how and when to say something. Hang in there and be strong!!
Peace and Grace to you, it will be good.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 3:45 PMSorry to hear this has been thrown on you. You haven't mentioned what you want - do you know yet? Do you want to meet him? If so , is it just to meet this one time, or would you be open to having an ongoing relationship with him?
Since its happened so recently, and has (understandably) hit you quite hard, I would advise you to not make any decision right now. Take as long as it takes to process it all and determine the best course of action for YOU to take in this situation. I'd refrain to listening too much to what other people would do in your shoes, unless they are people who you know well and can truly respect.
You owe it to yourself - and your son to give it some serious thought before jumping into anything, one way or another. -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 5:18 PMwhat makes the whole thing difficult is we're about 2000 miles away from each other!
and before I opened this tattoo shop...I was about to move back out there...I'm already making plans on shut'n down my shop for 2 weeks in September so I can go out there...my friends here don't think I'll come back if I go...I'm think'n they be right !
I'd just like ta also thank of you for your support and let'n me just use this ( tribe ) as a sounding board !
Some of my friends don't really realize how much this is freak'n me out....
They walk into the shop all smiles call'n me dad n shit ...I know they're joking and try'n ta light'n the mood...but ...man !
Lori ( the sister ) tells me that Russell has never been led to believe that I'm a bad guy or that I abandoned him...he knows it was his mother desision ...she told me that her whole family has always spoken well of me !
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 7:14 PMIf their not asking for anything, I wouldn't worry about the DNA test too much, but after all this time it would be reasonable to get one. If it was my son, I'd be more depressed about all the time I missed seeing him grow up and all the time I missed being with him. There are those out there who are weirded out that they can't find someone to have a family with. I believe any son who grew up without a father must have an empty place in his life that needs to be filled.
Your possibilities are greater than your risks. I'd fly out to see him or fly him out to see me. The sooner you respond, the more he'll know your interested in him.
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Wed, May 7, 2008 - 9:24 PMLove him to the moon and as big as the sky, -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Sat, May 10, 2008 - 11:47 PMThis is so COOL !
Selena returned home today and she talk'd to Russell ..she told me to write him...so I did ..and we get along so well ! What a great kid !
This is working out so amazing I can't even believe it !
He wants me ta tattoo him and I'm making arrangements to go to Calgary July 1st ta see him !
I've been typing so much the last few hours my fingers hurt ! -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Yesterday, 12:14 AMCongratulations! I'm glad it is working out for the both of you. You sound very happy. -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Yesterday, 9:18 PMI raised my own kid...he's 21 now....lemme tell ya, you got the better end of the deal. My son is amazing now, but when he was 14 he was a total little shit. Arn't you glad you missed out on the drama? -
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Re: Not really a " stupid ( but fun ) question " but...
Yesterday, 10:23 PMOh what a lovely surprise. I hope you both find what you need in each other.
Wow. This one has me speechless.
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