I'm feeling discouraged. I'm about halfway through my second year of bellydance lessons, taking the intermediate/mixed class.

The first year was a struggle - a struggle I expected, because I'm very much challenged by dance and by movement. But I felt like, finally, I was getting it. I was taking two classes a week - one beginner, and one mixed. The very cool part of that was that the beginner class felt easy - well, maybe not easy, but I understood it, and got the moves. That helped with the mixed class, as I was the least experienced dancer in that class, and focusing on the basics in the beginner class was very useful in putting it together in the mixed class.

This last summer, I dropped back to one class a week - financially, I needed to do it. Plus, it was hard to have two nights a week that were off-limits because of dance class - especially when we started doing swing dance lessons on yet another night each week. This fall, I stayed with one class weekly. On my teacher's recommendation, I stayed with the intermediate/mixed class.

But I'm just not getting it. I'm leaving class feeling like I might as well have stayed home. In this class, there's a lot of follow-the-leader. By the time I've figured out what move I'm supposed to be following, we're onto a different move. We've been learning to dance with sticks - which I HATE. I can't twirl the darn stick the way I'm supposed to, and it feels ... eh. I don't like the moves, I totally lack any sort of enthusiasm for this. I'm not driven to WANT to learn it. I'm not even working up a sweat. At least before, even if I didn't get the moves, I felt like I was ACTIVE, that eventually I would get it.

I haven't talked to my teacher about this yet. I kept thinking that I was maybe having an off night (ok, off nights for 3 months), that I would feel better about it next week. Last night we did a lot of improvising with the sticks - and all I wanted to do was toss the stick out the window. I'm not good with improvising to start with, and add that stupid stick - it was not a positive experience. The sticks don't feel like dancing to me. Though she said last night that we wouldn't be doing the sticks again til March.

So now I'm wondering if maybe I need to switch back to the beginner class. I'm ok with spending 95% of the class feeling inept, as long as I get that 5% of "Hey, I get this!" It's the 100% inept classes that are discouraging me. I hate feeling like the slow, problem child - too old, too fat, too clumsy, too slow, with the rest of the class all getting it right.

Is this common? Do other dancers at this stage of learning have this problem? Is it just something I need to work through? Or maybe I need to focus more on practicing at home, and not worry so much about the class.