dividend's topics - tribe.net

False Profit Investors Alert

2008-04-22T16:34:59Z

False Profit, LLC is reaching out to its wide investor base to announce a key component of diversification strategy: Alchemy.

Teaming up with Missing Piece, False Profit, LLC - better know for its Bass-heavy portfolio - is transferring a significant percentage of its assets into the Artsy Market.

"Many of our investors are not fully capitalizing on our Life Quality Enhancement programs and we want to make them aware of the upcoming opportunities that have already sent the Artsy Index soaring and the Stock Exchange into a frenzy," explained Judit Pungor, Director of Investor Relations at False Profit, LLC. "We would love to see all of our investors at Alchemy."

Alchemy
Saturday, April 26th
@ CELLspace
9p-2a - $15
Full Bar

Featuring:

Styles of Magic fashion show by Missing Piece @ 10pm
Phantoccino, a magic show by Keith Boudreau
Art Gallery by Will Chase Arts
Alchemical Afforestation, an interactive steel sculpture by Shira Loa
Digital Paint Mash-Up by Dangermarc
Pyrocardium, a heartbeat-powered candelabra by False Profit Labs
Web of (de)Construction, a live textile piece by Medium Reality
Identity Tapestry by Mary Corey March
Flame Tree Building Workshop by False Profit Labs
Phoenix Aviary, a reactive video installation
Writing Photos, an intersection of writing and photography
Altered Paintings, reworking thrift-store finds
Interactive Lights & Magnets, Photo Booth, Lego Robots, origami, and more.

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7/26: Benchun, Neptune & F'Kir + fashion and poetry

2007-07-25T16:52:03Z

DIVIDEND
Thursday, July 26
@ Poleng Lounge. 1751 Fulton Street @ Masonic, SF.
Ekphrasis Fashion Show Begins at 10:30pm SHARP
$5-$15 donation

DJs:
*benchun (false profit)
*neptune (beat church)
*f'kir (elderfae.net)

This Thursday night, Missing Piece presents "Ekphrasis" a poetry-inspired fashion show at False Profit's monthly DIVIDEND.

DIVIDEND has a track record of being packed and jumpin' the past two months at Poleng Lounge, with live art, fashion designers, and hiphop groups... now this month, with 3 False Profit DJs, 3 Missing Piece fashion designers and 3 spoken word poets, you won't want to miss it.

Designers:
*Miranda Caroligne (www.mirandacaroligne.com)
with designs inspired by t.s. elliot's "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock"
*KAYO (www.kayoanimeclothing.com)
with designs inspired by Edgar Allen Poe's "The Forest Reverie"
*Steven Lai
with designs inspired by Robert Frost's "Dust of Snow"

Spoken Word Poets:
*Jennifer Fox Bennett
*David Behnken
*Mandeep Sethi

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thurs 6/28 : Kitty D, Ana Sia, Lux and Cyphertown

2007-06-25T22:58:16Z

False Profit Back Room:
Kitty-D & Ana Sia (Glitch Mob)
Lux (aka Rodman)

Cyphertown Front Room:
Abai & Albert Joseph (Bounce Reflex)
Dakini (Goddess Alchemy)
Goodfelllow (Cyphertown)
DJ Soulz (Cyphertown)

Fashion:
Domini
Fati Beloved

Artists:
Lynn Mandziuk - prints
Marc Scheff (dangermarc.com) and Vibrata - live digital art

Thursday June 28
Poleng Lounge
1751 Fulton @ Masonic
$5-$15 sliding scale donation
Partial proceeds to benefit Cyphertown - Hiphop Theme Camp at BM07

False Profit, LLC has invited everyone to participate in their continuing study of the ‘More’ impulse at the Poleng Lounge, this coming Thursday, June 28th. There is no placebo group.

Newly-released the results of a three-year study entitled “Inner Ear Neural Linkage to the ‘More’ Impulse” challenge the widely held belief that people desire money.

The study revealed that the ‘More’ impulse is actually the result of rapid neuron firings in the inner ear. “Quite simply,” said Alison Bank, a Senior Researcher for False Profit, LLC, “it’s all about the Bass. Or more accurately, about more Bass.”

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THURSDAY: Dividend with Ooah, Danny Corn, and Dr. Toast

2007-05-22T17:29:41Z

DIVIDEND = Thursday, May 24th
Poleng Lounge
1751 Fulton Ave @ Masonic
10-2a / $5

Ooah (Glitch Mob, LA)
Danny Corn (Moontribe)
Dr. Toast (False Profit)

+ with art and fashion offerings from Medium Reality, Domini and Clay
Chollar.

San Francisco, CA -- Investors of False Profit, LLC, an
international consortium of brokers under close scrutiny by the US
Treasury for their paradigm-challenging economic theories, plan to
collect extensive Dividends this Thursday at the Poleng Lounge. This
will be the Poleng Lounge’s first meeting with False Profit, LLC and
its forward-thinking investor base. Officials at the Treasury
initially reacted with a plan to send in one or several National
Guard companies but later backed down, citing the fact that there are
none left to mobilize.

It has been rumored that Dr. Toast, holding a doctorate in Downtempo,
has recently been in the lab isolating several new isotopes of Bass.
You might want to look into that.

http://www.false-profit.com/dividend
http://www.polenglounge.com/

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4/26: Women on Deck

2007-04-24T23:21:41Z

Maximize your Dividend investments this week with lady djs dropping the first beats of the FP spring quarter.

False Profit announces first-quarter beat earnings exceeding even the most optimistic estimates.

"We're not going to stop there. Once you get an organization going, momentum continues, " says Andrea Brooks, Chief Mascot Trainer.

Brendan Colloran, President of the FP Meteorlogical Society, reported this morning, "If profits were spring showers, I'd say there's a 100%
likelihood of a bass downpour this Thursday."
...

False Profit Presents: Dividend

Thurs Apr 26
Retox
628 20th, SF
10p-2a

Ana Sia
(glitch mob)
glitchhop, grime, hiphop

Kozee
(redline)
dnb, dubstep

Beth Murphy
(house of lotus)
hip hop, breaks

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

2007-02-19T08:49:56Z

False Profit LLC and Partners Totally Blow Up Spot

SAN FRANCISCO -- Investor confidence is on the rise this month,
following reports that the Consumer Bass Index is projected to hit a
record high. According to Low-End Analyst Sam Pearlman "we expect the
CBI to plateau sometime shortly after midnight on Thursday February 22
-- probably somewhere near 6th and Market in San Francisco. Activities
in the bass sector by False Profit LLC seem to be driving this trend."

In a note to investors, False Profit VP of Muffin-Hop Jim Reynolds wrote
"False Profit's recent acquisition of Jay Oberhelman [nasdaq: OBI-J;
47.23, +18.3%] and our strategic partnership with djunya and DJ Scout
have created an unusual opportunity for rhythmic mayhem." When reached
for further comment, Reynolds remarked "this shit's gonna be so spiritual."

This month's Bass Index peak is expected to produce an extremely robust
Dividend for savvy investors. On the news, Pearlman reiterated his "buy"
rating on FP stock, adding "WOMP WOMP WOMP!"

----

False Profit Presents: Dividend

here's the meat:

Date: Thursday, February 22nd
Location: Anu
Address: 43 6th Street, SF
Time: 10:00pm - 2:00am

and here are the potatoes:

djunya
(Narco.Hz , Dubscouts)
dub, dubstep, 2step, roots music, downtempo

DJ scout
(Koinonea, FnF, bianca)
dub, dubstep, broken and global beats

obi-J
(False Profit, DownLow, Pronoia)
breaks, glitch, dubstep, midtempo

<<<KABOOM!>>>

posted in dividend - 1 reply

additional musical treats at Dividend this Thursday 1.25.07!

2007-01-24T23:40:46Z

Just received news that Carbon Community will be coming up from LA for a special Dividend
appearance...adding to the already tittilating night of music planned! Be sure to put your
dancin' shoes on...

****

The futures market will see a spike in activity this Thursday, predict
masterminds at the False Profit think tank in San Francisco. The
speculations have emerged in light of a recent decision to appoint the
following sonic brokers at this months regular meeting of investors:

* Carbon Community (bless records, sober music, play recordings)
* Hypnotech (addictech)
* Piotron (downLow) <spinning a special midtempo set!>
* DJJD (aka Palindrome) (False Profit)

"Surely with this lineup distributing monthly Dividends at rock bottom
prices," PR analyst Becky Hurwitz noted, "we will observe a noticeable surge
in futuristic frequencies traded on the dancefloor." Investor freq-out is
expected to follow, predict the collective, possibly accompanied by mild
stomping, vivacious bouncing and bouts of heavy jiggling.

Dividend @ Anu / 43 6th St
Thursday, January 25, 10p-2a

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TONIGHT! :: Dividend with Mr. Projectile, Audiovoid and Genji

2006-09-28T20:16:37Z

Dividend
Nickie's BBQ / 460 Haight Street (& Fillmore)
Thursday, September 28, 10p-2a

more details at http://false-profit.com/dividend

see you there!

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pix from may and june dividends on flickr

2006-09-28T20:12:45Z

pix of smoove, unagi, daneekah and kirk.

check it out:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/watsonic/sets/72157594302994291/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/watsonic/sets/72157594295936297/

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new dividend sets available for download!

2006-09-28T20:10:20Z

i've just encoded and uploaded a bunch of new sets from previous dividends.

turning the clock 9 months back, here are some special pre-christmas sets by
Mozaic and Shalako in archival quality (very good VBR) MP3:
http://metaph.org/music/dividend/mozaic_dividend_2005.12_archive.mp3
http://metaph.org/music/dividend/shalako_dividend_2005.12_archive.mp3

more recently (& one of the biggest dividends ever), from May of this year,
sets in archival quality by...
kap'n kirk: http://metaph.org/music/dividend/kirk_dividend_2006.05_archive.mp3
kirk and donna matrix: http://metaph.org/music/dividend/kirk_and_donnamatrix_dividend_2006.05_archive.mp3
takitus (DnB): http://metaph.org/music/dividend/takitus_dividend_2006.05_archive.mp3

for a quicker download try listening in 'good' quality (slightly better than 128 kbps):
kap'n kirk: http://metaph.org/music/dividend/kirk_dividend_2006.05.mp3
kirk and donna matrix: http://metaph.org/music/dividend/kirk_and_donnamatrix_dividend_2006.05.mp3
takitus (DnB): http://metaph.org/music/dividend/takitus_dividend_2006.05.mp3

good tunes to round out your work week and prep you for TONIGHT!

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INSURRECTION 101 - day party this weekend 08.12.06 (Chunzerelli reigns supreme!)

2006-08-08T21:40:48Z

INSURRECTION 101 - welcome to the ku*de*ta experience

THIS SATURDAY 08.12.06
2pm-10pm daytime!

Bring your sunglasses and a jacket to this beautiful outdoor location by the bay and enjoy our revolutionary refreshments in the warm sunlight, study our manifesto and rock out to the anti-establishment beats of:

Smoove (Funketronic)
Icon (djicon.com / Reverb Records / Femme DJs / XM Satellite Radio)
Syd Gris (Opel / Opulent Temple)
Ben Chun (False Profit / benchun.net)
Tammo (Angels Of Bass)
[e] (Sloppy / crux)
Eddo (All Star Donut)

Enlightenment is ONLY $5 and the drinks are even cheaper!

23 Arelious Walker Way @ Innes St.
for directions hit… http://tribes.tribe.net/kudeta

“By Any Means Necessary”

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august dividend - who's in?

2006-08-05T00:18:31Z

let's see some support or lack thereof for a dividend this month.

the quandry: it'd be the thursday before burningman starts.

do you want to come out and play? warm up those legs for the playa?
or will you be shade structure structuring? clothes constructing?

what's your investment potential for this month?

posted in dividend - 2 replies

Dividend Thursday with Breakbeat Buddha / Welder (aka Eskmo) / Mozaic

2006-07-28T01:30:23Z

jump up out yo summer slumber. back from slightly north of Paradise, False Profit presents another ...

Dividend: Revalued
http://false-profit.com/dividend/

The appraisers appraised and the hell raisers raised (the starry roof!) and the official commentary* is in: this weekend was in fact PRICELESS.

As is human nature and good business sense, however, every commodity must at some point be given a price tag. Robert Redford bought some Demi Moore action for $1M, Bush bought Iraq for $299.99 B** (or maybe that's just the downpayment), and for just $5 you can buy yourself a ticket to the coolest afterparty for the hottest (literally) party of the summer.

Now it's true that we can't actually put a price on last weekend. And it's also true that we can't recreate that party, especially within the city. But what we can do is amass a bunch of those friends you met but then lost contact with last weekend, bring back some of the huge talent from both stages, top that off with a touch of new selector flavor, and drop the whole bowlful of booming bass on your ass. All within a few miles of your home sweet home.

*See: falseprofit.tribe.net/
**costofwar.com/

Dividend is this Thursday. Rockin the river rapid tubes:

* Welder (aka Eskmo) [Eskmo.com / Cyberset.cc] in a special night-opening set. (get there early!)
* Mozaic [Troubled Youth / 13moontribe]

and introducing a new bright blip on the False Profit radar:

* Breakbeat Buddha [breakbeatbuddha.com]

Cross the little red bridge at 460 Haight St. Your slice of sonic pie will be waiting...

Dividend
Thursday 7/27
10p-2a
Nickie's BBQ - 460 Haight St.

posted in dividend - 9 replies

Baroo's sleeping on the job (a.k.a. "dividend : slippery when wet")

2006-06-20T21:42:38Z

So I'll take up the slack...

d i v i d e n d
thursday, 06.22.2006
10p-2a
nickie's, 460 haight st, sf, ca, usa, the metaverse constantly reforming
itself inside will wright's mind

see I wasn't even trying to kid you last time about turning up the heat.
like moths to a flame the reinvesting masses swarmed to flutter to the
rhythms of our skilled selektas, and a hot time was had by all. the tempo
turned so high and the beats dropped so thick that charlie nearly had to
spray everyone in chocolate syrup just to keep us from combusting. and what
a shame that would have been. so let's pick up where we left off, shall we?
without further ado...

:: Smoove (Newsbreakz) ::
your girlfriend's favorite dj returns from his interstellar cruise ship
tour, after being last spotted in kansas city wrangling every last drop of
red state riddims out of the cowtipping masses. you know how he do, so just
make sure to welcome him back home right.

:: DJ Unagi (Word of Mouth / Just Us Productions) ::
a southern california transplant back for a second revolution at the
dividend wheels of steel. expect this repeat offender to serve up a fresh
plate of breakbeats glazed in soy marinade and grilled to perfection.

:: Daneekah () ::
from down south to down under... a relatively fresh face on the san
francisco scene, australia's latest and greatest makes her first appearance
on the dividend stage, bringing her trademark slamming, frenetic mix of
dancehall and electro-breaks guaranteed to move your feets.

dividend : slippery when wet

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this thursday :::: donna matrix / takitus / kirk :::: nickies BBQ

2006-05-25T23:36:36Z

ms. donna matrix has promised us a spectactacular new
fusion mix of breaks and jungle which she's secretly been
conjuring up in her underground lab. she'll unleash the
concotion on the crowd at nickies this thursday.

followed by ragga infused junglist pressure from a very
special guest who's flown out from the east coast to drop
one serious bomb on us.

and preceded by a lead in from the Kap'n himself.

for anyone who can make it out to the lower haight on Thursday
night, DONT MISS THIS....

d i v i d e n d
thursday, 05.25.2006
10p-2a
nickie's, 460 haight st sf ca ecotopia earth

I F . Y O U . C A N . S T A N D . T H E . H E A T

this month dividend picks up the pace a little bit. okay... a lotta
bit. and why not? it's summer, and that sweet may heat wave is coming
through. our lush concrete jungle is stirring from its cold wet
slumber, and the air is thick with the excitement of long days and
that warm night air cooling the sweat as it drips off your exhilarated
face.

mmm, summer.

break the season in right as we dish up three hard helpings of high
tempo pressure cooking. check out this intense trio of sonic servers
anxious to help you get your stutter step on:

Donna Matrix (Newsbreakz) :: polyspeed breakbeat fusions
Takitus (Vicious Cycle, SC) :: his license plate reads 'junglist'
Kapn' Kirk (Space Cowboys) :: breakbeats / hip hop

dividend : where reinvestments are never taxing

www.false-profit.com/dividend
www.tribe.net/div

posted in dividend - 1 reply

queen agnes b set from last dividend uploaded

2006-04-25T08:42:28Z

please to find yourself enjoying remnants of the previous dividend from the False Profit corporation:

Queen Agnes B / 2006.03.23 @ Dividend:
http://metaph.org/music/dividend/queen_agnes_b_dividend_2006.03.mp3

or for the super high quality slice (to be finished uploading shortly):
http://metaph.org/music/dividend/queen_agnes_b_dividend_2006.03_archive.mp3

more sets from previous soirées upcoming. stay chooned.
watson

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Dividend :: Thursday :: Adam Ohana / Ripple / Kitty-D

2006-04-25T00:29:05Z

Press Release
For Immediate Release
Monday, April 24

False Profit to Launch Effort for Future Energy Recapture

On April 6 Chicago Mercantile Exchange Holdings Inc. (CME) and NYMEX
Holdings, Inc.signed a definitive technology services agreement under
which CME will become the exclusive electronic trading services
provider for NYMEX's energy futures and options contracts, using CME's
Globex platform."This agreement provides CME with exclusive control
over the energy futures market with minimal investment, attractive
revenue capture, and the potential for world domination," Morgan
Stanley analyst Camron Ghaffari wrote in a research note last week. In
seeming confirmation of this conjecture, CME announced the following
day it will be changing the name of its electronic platform to CME
Globedom.

In rapid response to these recent troubling affairs, False Profit,
LLC. has forged its own agreement with select local sonic energy
providers, launching and orchestrating a grassroots emergency effort
to immediately put future energy back into the hands, feet and bodies
of its constituents. "It's clear that only through focused, highly
amplified, and skillfully modulated and distributed sonic and subsonic
frequencies can we reclaim control of the future of energy," associate
analyst Brendan Colloran noted Monday.

Already signed on to the effort are three major local market makers
in the sonic energy sector, each this year responsible for record
volumes of energy transactions, with no trend reversal in sight.
The first joint technology demonstration by the new consortium, in
concert with the realease of False Profit's monthly Dividend, is
scheduled for this Thursday, the 27th of April in San Francisco.
Details follow.

Adam Ohana (Get Freaky)

Ripple (Subscience)

Kitty-D (Troubled Youth, Beat Church)

@ Dividend
Thursday, April 27th, 10p-2a
Nickie's BBQ / 460 Haight St
http://false-profit.com/dividend
(for directions see map linked from site)

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Dividend this Thursday (23rd) with Agnes B / Forest Green / Jordan

2006-03-22T03:43:44Z

d i v i d e n d

thursday, 03.23.2006
10p-2a
nickie's, 460 haight st sf ca

sonic wealth, (read: breakbeat music)
redistributed (read: played at high volume so you can dance to it)

THIS MONTH'S FORWARD-LOOKING STATEMENTS:

The Company beyond Corporations delivers again, on track to exceed all
estimates with a product designed to keep your interest rates rising
right through tax season. Taking advantage of unprecedentedly awesome
market conditions, all financial returns have been safely stocked away
in FDIC-insured bass-heavy grooves and emerging market melodies,
guaranteed to keep the zero dollar income streams bumping and grinding
for the foreseeable future. It's a fucking party, and we can't stop
loving it.

Here are you March 2006 Executive Consultants, guaranteed to unlock
your core value propositions:

Queen Agnes B (Sister SF) ::: breakbeats.electro

Forest Green (Sister SF // Daly City Records) ::: electro.techno.idm

Jordan (Neurogenesix) ::: idm.machine beats

......... bar tended by chocolate syrup wrestling champion azure
.... door manned by sean doesn'tgiveashit
....... warm inviting atmosphere by the false profit public relations
directorate

dividend: the investment we keep on giving
http://www.false-profit.com/dividend

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febuary dividend next week, brought to you by caffeine

2006-02-16T05:58:07Z

cha-ching!

first new years, then the downlow.does.dividend, THEN bitterness, inc. 2006 isn't even two months old, but it seems like every couple of weeks false profit has been burning down the proverbial house only to build it back up again to flay enfuego like so many flimsy forebearers. the villagers shout:

"what the fuck, baroo? my ass is just out of the sling from last time and all of a sudden its time to get my twitch on again. i can't sleep, i can barely walk, im constantly late to my job. are you trying to get us all fired?"

well... yes.
yes we are.
come work with us:

guess what it's a... PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY FUCKING PARTY

thursdayTHURSDAYthursday february 23rd 10pm->you drop
nickie's . 460 haight street . look for the giant glowing head

. : o O kraddy (multi music / refiner records) - bootyglitch.and.then.some
. : o O benchun (false profit/1st period geometry class) - ill.give.you.one.guess
. : o O polymorf (NHC/AM Breaks) - oldschool.funky.breakbeat.science
. : o O watson (dividend/false profit) - electrobreak.tribaltech

fashions by domini
snacks and decorations by the false profit hospitality squad
snark and fine libations by charlie and the nickie's crew

dividend: our business is booming

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dividend business cards - get yours

2006-02-12T05:22:54Z

hey we printed up some stylin dividend business cards. feel free to stop by the soap factory and grab a stack. contact me or watson for more details.

posted in dividend - 0 replies

lets get down with business

2006-02-10T02:07:05Z

cards.

debuting tomorrow at Bitterness, Inc.

posted in dividend - 0 replies