When you're divorced, it's important to lay out what's important to you, and then ask yourself, "What haven't I done since I was married."

In my own case, I set about renewing contacts with friends that I'd lost touch with and rebuilding my social life. Get feedback from your friends and if you vent a bit, that's fine: good friends let you bare your emotions.

Meetup.com is also a great way to rebuild a social life, because you can find people who are interested in one particular kind of activity. It's also a great way to meet people.

Another good way to redefine your life is to redecorate. I transformed one room into an English library, complete with rugs, a decanter of sherry, and a soft leather chair with several bookcases. I liked it so much I've put a similar tone on the living room.

New hobbies are also good post-divorce. I've taken up gourmet cooking and baking, turning out pans of cookies twice a month and deliberately exploring cookbooks one page at a time. It's fun, and has helped to banish the memories of slop that my ex used to produce!

What other steps have you all taken?