I am finding thus far what my venture into dominance is exactly where I should be headed. Sexually, it's no problem. In not-sexual situations, I've been pretty much holding my own. There's one realm that's currently makikng me nervous, though.
My apartment is a pit. It's not at bio-hazard levels yet, but I could really use a pleasantly submissive guy over to clean my home about once a month, if not weekly. My housekeeping started sliding with having to take care of a sick relative, and considering that I'm not fond of my apartment in general (it's a teeny widdle cave with no dishwasher or washer and dryer in the unit) things haven't gotten much better since I've regained control over my schedule. That, and I'm going to be taking a class starting this week. eek.
Well, here's the problem: how do I not be horrified at the condition of my home when a submissive comes over to help clean? I mean, granted -- that's why he's there. However, I've had one person who _volunteered_ to come over and help me clean once turn into a completely passive-aggressive bitch boy about it. (Long story.) I was already nervous about having someone see exactly how bad my place was, and this didn't help that situation at all.
How do you fight down the temptation to try to clean before the submissive sees the place? How do you leave them alone and let them get on with it? How do you not apologize for the condition of the place? Do you sit on your hands? Get in the tub with a book and let them come to you with questions? Scream into a pillow the whole time? I mean, I don't have roaches or ants or anything, and nobody's recoiled at the smell of my place when they come in, but ... it ain't pretty in here.
I've given orders during actual play and related romantic stuff, but thus far not for anything that would leave me feeling exposed and open to up-close-and-personal ridicule. I've expected that tops and dommes might sometimes have a hard time with making desires known and risking bottoms and submissives who'd be bearing the brunt of it being dismissive of these dreams, but I'm not sure of how they get over that.
Help? Pretty please, ladies?
My apartment is a pit. It's not at bio-hazard levels yet, but I could really use a pleasantly submissive guy over to clean my home about once a month, if not weekly. My housekeeping started sliding with having to take care of a sick relative, and considering that I'm not fond of my apartment in general (it's a teeny widdle cave with no dishwasher or washer and dryer in the unit) things haven't gotten much better since I've regained control over my schedule. That, and I'm going to be taking a class starting this week. eek.
Well, here's the problem: how do I not be horrified at the condition of my home when a submissive comes over to help clean? I mean, granted -- that's why he's there. However, I've had one person who _volunteered_ to come over and help me clean once turn into a completely passive-aggressive bitch boy about it. (Long story.) I was already nervous about having someone see exactly how bad my place was, and this didn't help that situation at all.
How do you fight down the temptation to try to clean before the submissive sees the place? How do you leave them alone and let them get on with it? How do you not apologize for the condition of the place? Do you sit on your hands? Get in the tub with a book and let them come to you with questions? Scream into a pillow the whole time? I mean, I don't have roaches or ants or anything, and nobody's recoiled at the smell of my place when they come in, but ... it ain't pretty in here.
I've given orders during actual play and related romantic stuff, but thus far not for anything that would leave me feeling exposed and open to up-close-and-personal ridicule. I've expected that tops and dommes might sometimes have a hard time with making desires known and risking bottoms and submissives who'd be bearing the brunt of it being dismissive of these dreams, but I'm not sure of how they get over that.
Help? Pretty please, ladies?
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Seattle
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Re: Accepting service gracefully?
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 4:00 PMAnswering my own question here ...
What I've recently discovered is that the concept of mutually assured destruction seems to work for me in regards to receiving service from a submissive. Up until last week, my boy has never been to my home: I've always gone up to Vancouver to visit him. He came down looking forward to cleaning up my place. He'd been fussing over his pretty much everytime I'd come up to visit, so I knew he wasn't thrilled with the way it looked. When he arrived at my place, the only thing he really agreed on was that it's small. Otherwise, he said NOTHING about its appearance and cleaned it anyway.
It also helped that he was visiting me over the work week. While I was away at my job, he cleaned my place. This basically meant that I wasn't watching what he was doing the first time, and came home to find the bathtub damn near sparkling ... among other goodnesses.
Having someone I trusted and was used to, whose home I'd already been in, and who worked on my place while I was otherwise distracted worked out perfectly for me. I can't say that this would work for others, but I just wanted to follow up to say that some work-arounds found their way to me. -
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Re: Accepting service gracefully?
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 6:25 PMThanks for sharing. I like your stories. My slide into dominance hasn't been as graceful, I think. Keep sharing what works; I appreciate it. -
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Re: Accepting service gracefully?
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 4:02 PMYou are quite welcome!
I've also discovered that posting notes around my home works quite well:
"boy, clean the bathroom. There are brushes near the toilet and cleaners in the bottom of that closet. --> "
He stopped and read all of the notes and got to everything he could (it turns out that he had a medication errand to run which took him far longer than was optimal). Since I was hanging the notes in places that held the items he needed, or where the most impending messes were, it worked out well and thus I wasn't expected to hover over him and instruct him the whole day ... which wouldn't have been possible anyway. :)
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