so...

I have a crush on my private horn teacher. Have for the last two years; not gonna go away, I really respect the man... but it's the classic student and older teacher situation. *blushes* Also, in a way, this teacher is as close to an idle or "god" I have. He personifies everything I love and value from french horn, music to honesty and integrity.

so, I had a dream sometime in the last three days (I've been so rattled I can't remember) where I went into juries (the form of a final for music performance majors) and played the piece I'd been working on for the four brass teachers. They seemed happy, said blah blah blah... and handed me copies of their ballots, which is very very unusual. Usually we dont get copies, only get to see the ballots two weeks after the finals week. But I rustled through them, didn't see anything specific so I stuffed them in my bag. *time elapses* I pull out the papers to make notes, and I find something written from my teacher that I hadn't seen before.
it said "your playing has greatly improved this trimester. You respond very quickly to everything I suggest; I'm concerned because you respond as if to an idle."
Then I look up, scratching my head, trying to figure out where I'd give myself away. Around the corner comes my teacher; I look down and the notes is something entirely different and just pertaining to music. He smiles at me in a knowing fashion as I try to act normal but my jaw is on the floor. He walks by and exits the building.

Ok, yeah, I know my near-worship isn't the healthiest thing, but what does the rest of it mean?

*blushes*

nadia