Sue T Women don't have the market on not finding the right person for them. Sometimes men have the same problem. That having been said:

I know that people ...particularly "nice guys" are walking around saying how they finish last. I feel this is a falicy. Why? Well I'll tell you.

As easily as a woman can fall for a bad boy, is just as easily as a man can fall for a woman whose life is a mess and he feels the need to rescue her. This ends up in heartbreak every time. The reason for this is he is dealing with a woman how doesn't know how to accept or return the nice things this man is going to do with her.

Why would any man, put up with or tolerate a woman who doesn't treat "him" as he deserves?

There seems to be an old school train of thought with "some" nice guys, not all that if he does all he can, even if it means by passing his own desires and wants and needs that he'll be loved in return. Yet in the same breath... that's not always true is it.

Its been my experience that nice guys seem to feel the need to protect and take care of a woman and at their own expense. They have nothing to say as to where to go, what they want to do, are willing to sacrific all their time and self to be with this one girl who probably can't appreciate them because she's in it for the taking, not the giving.

So what can a nice guy do?

First of all? You can still be a nice guy.
You can still open doors, treat for dinner, buy flowers, be there on an emotional level... etc.,

What I want you to do ... is to evaluate "just how nice" you are being.
Do you still remember to take care of your own needs, go to the gym, wait and see if this girl is worth your time to start doing things for her?

Wait and see if what you are doing is going to be appreciated?
Wait and see if she herself is a drama queen?
Wait and see if you truly care about this person, if they have their life together and are going to be a healthy addition to yours?

Perhaps a good place to start is with the last few women you went out with. Why did you chose them? What was so amazing about them that you, the nice guy finished last?
What happened?
How did you contribute to it falling apart? i.e., not communicating needs and wants of your own, thereby being like faithful old Yeller...
Why did you chose this person?
What qualities did she have that would be a positive and healthy contribution to YOUR life.

There's nothing wrong whatsoever with being a nice guy.

I think perhaps it's time to start "chosing" women who are going to accept and appreciate you.

Sometimes we want love so badly in our lives, we think that if we do all of these great nice things for another that they'll love us the way we would like them to. This isn't true.

What we really need to ask ourselves is what we are looking for, and then focus on how we're going to get it.

So? What are you looking for Mr. Nice Guy?

AND! One more thing... what about those nice girls you see, sitting there feeling like, there are no nice guys out there. I'm sure they'd be a pretty good candidate for what you're looking for.

Cept, you missed them ... probably like, they may have missed you.

Hmmm....

Sue T.
Moderator