Better yet. Get your balloon all static-y. Then cover with hamsters. I guess maybe they'd have to be dessicated hamsters otherwise they'd never stay afloat...

After sticking all the hair to the wall you end up with a bald gerbil which you can stick to the wall. It all works out if you look in the right directions. Or take the right meds, or wrong meds. Whatever.
Never having owned a gerbil (I consider them cat toys and inanimate cat toys take up 15% of the floor space here) I don't know it they have hairy palms. If no hairy gerbli palms exist you could stick their feet to stuff - walls, ceilings or any oblivious stranger who wanders by looking for the exit.
A moblie sound nice. You could re-use one of those things that were sold to entertain babies. You know, they clung to the edge of the crib and you wound them up and they sounded like a music box while funny looking shapes went round 'n' round. Hang it just out of kitties reach and you have a cat exerciser. Plus a dash or two of catnip on each gerbil - (you could alternate hamsters and voles with gerbils) and Whoopee! Hours of fun for the whole family! Beats watching broadcast TV news.