Do you know someone in your life that uses big words and corrects all your spelling mistakes infront of people? Is this an ego complex or a sincere act? What do you do in a situation like this?
I guess I am writting this as myself not having a high school degree and being sent to boarding school after boarding school did not get the "all american" schooling like so many others. I find myself stumped on some words but half the time I know that if I just spell it out and even if its wrong people normally get it.
Which brings me back to my original question. Do people get off on correcting my bad grammar? Does it elevate their social status in their minds? Do they make jokes behind our backs? I recently had a friend that would do this all the time to make fun of and poke at me. Needless to say that is one of the many reason we no longer talk.
What is everyone's opinion on this?
I guess I am writting this as myself not having a high school degree and being sent to boarding school after boarding school did not get the "all american" schooling like so many others. I find myself stumped on some words but half the time I know that if I just spell it out and even if its wrong people normally get it.
Which brings me back to my original question. Do people get off on correcting my bad grammar? Does it elevate their social status in their minds? Do they make jokes behind our backs? I recently had a friend that would do this all the time to make fun of and poke at me. Needless to say that is one of the many reason we no longer talk.
What is everyone's opinion on this?
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SF Bay Area
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Re: Do you know someone that
Thu, June 23, 2005 - 1:40 PMMy hubby does that to me, both intentially and unintentionally.
and yes, part of it (maybe a huge part of it) is a need to feel "better" about yourself than those around you. Part of it is a personal ego stroke "I know something they don't know."
sometimes, here online, i find myself correcting basic grammer (like: there v. their, your vs. you're) with people who present themselves as "all knowing", or "really smart" or whever, just cause that whole "I know what i'm talking about and you don't" attitude can tick me off.
When i'm in this situation, at least on line, i try to see if they are doing it out of a particular goal... like to show how stupid you are or something. If that's the case, i tend to let my posts talk for themselves, by pointing out something "stupid" in thier posts.
I recently had a friend that would do this all the time to make fun of and poke at me. Needless to say that is one of the many reason we no longer talk.
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and if someone is doing this to you, I would tell them once, and only once, that it upsets you. Then you can decide if it's worth it to you, to be offended. I'd think that if it's more than just "correcting" but making fun of you, the "friend" doesn't know the concept of "friendship".
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Re: Do you know someone that
Fri, June 24, 2005 - 5:27 AMI used to send letters to my sister in law and she wouls "correct them" for me. I got so I'd mispell on purpose just so she'd have something to do. -
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Re: Do you know someone that
Fri, June 24, 2005 - 3:46 PMGod, i love it.
what a reply :-)
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Re: Do you know someone that
Mon, July 11, 2005 - 7:11 PMI'm a writer and a proofreader. Sometimes I find myself correcting people and I feel badly about it later. The reason I do it is because it's compulsive. Our culture is riddled with incorrect grammar, spelling, word usage and syntax. It is difficult sometimes because it all sinks in and sometimes I find myself saying things incorrectly not because I don't know what's correct, but because the incorrect grammar/usage/whatever has sunk in there unconsciously from hearing it so much. I correct myself silently when I make these slip-ups because if I don't the pattern will continue. Please forgive us. We're neurotic. And by the way, it should be "Do you know someone who..." He he. -
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Re: Do you know someone that
Tue, July 12, 2005 - 3:30 AMLorenda,
U r a brav persen comin hear.
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Re: Do you know someone that
Tue, July 12, 2005 - 2:00 PMHere's the thing.
for the most part, Lorenda, there is no such thing as Incorrect Grammar for native speakers of English. there is incorrect Standard Formal English grammer, but one thing that *might* help you break your compulsion when you are not doing your job as proofreader, is to remember that what we define as "correct grammar" is really about social status and the power of the language Elite. This is true in *any* language, not just english.
Who says you can't use a passive voice? Who says double negatives are wrong? Who says that "aint" isn't correct, or that you must not end sentances with prepositions? Some old fart named Webster, and some Bun Haired old ladies. ;-)
But the fact is, language changes because speakers change it. We don't see "thee" and "thou" and "thine" any more, cause we (as a speaking group) decided it was unnecessary. and we will do things like make "aweful" be "bad" instead of "filled with awe".
If you keep that in mind, you can *maybe* understand that it's not "correc" or "incorrect" but... "formal" vs. "informal". shrugs. :-)
Either way, you found a job (the proofing, not the writing) that enjoys and employs such ...how did you put it... neroses (sp) that it's all good. ;-)
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Re: Do you know someone that
Mon, August 8, 2005 - 2:48 PMHi Kip,
You are correct. There is only incorrect Formal Standard English. There are many dialects that make up the English language, and they are all correct. It's just a matter of whether the dialect is preferred. And there are prescriptive and descriptive grammarians. See...I used "And" at the start of a sentence. The prescriptive grammarians might say that that is incorrect. But, really, fashions in language change. It just makes the job of the proofreaders and copyeditors harder. Nevertheless, there are rules that don't change, such as putting a comma before a dependent clause. I'm sure some of you could argue against that. This is why I also write poetry, where the rules may be broken. -
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Re: Do you know someone that
Mon, August 8, 2005 - 4:10 PMI'd argue about it if I knew what it was.
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Re: Do you know someone that
Tue, August 9, 2005 - 12:00 PMBut, really, fashions in language change. It just makes the job of the proofreaders and copyeditors harder.
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this would be an interesting aspect of proofing, i think. "to whom is this material targeted". and what allowances or even necessary changes go into targeted language.
If i'm writing a Tech manual and use Formal Stad English to a fault (like the sentance above), i'm going to feel more like a Legal-ease peice than a help guide. and that would be off putting.
On the other hand, even as a Microsoft manual, i need to follow some rules ,if only spelling (- or that damned paper clip helper dude might get mad at me and rebel) .
I think a good writer & copy editor would or at least *could* have some fun in thinking about that.
Of course, the times I've done "copy editing" type work (when you are in a small tech firm you do a bit of everything), i'm ususally so darned board that I would have no time to bother with "audience". grins.
My favorite fiction writers, including toni morrison, Sherman Alexi and others whose names are escaping my head right now - write more "poetic" in that they don't follow proscriptive rules as often.
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Re: Do you know someone that
Tue, July 12, 2005 - 3:28 PMLorenda,
You would have e field day with my Dad's writing. HE is trying to write down all our family's stories and he is an atrosious speller and has even worse grammer. He wants it to "sound" like he's telling the story but sometimes it doesn't translate well to the page. I type them up for him and let him "proof read them" SOmetimes I make changes, sometimes I leave it alone.
www.mamaloca.net/diversion...rylist.php
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Re: Do you know someone that
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 7:48 AMJust had to tell this story....When I was the TA for a sexuality class, we were talking about how parents begin at birth to genderize their kids. Make sure they are properly socialized to fill the accepted role that society assumes they must. So I asked the studnets to write a little about that. One girl wrote that parents put their girls in pink and their boys in blue...since you can't tell what they are unless you actually see their gentiles. -
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Re: Do you know someone that
Mon, July 18, 2005 - 9:18 AMLOL. guess that means Buddhists must wear Green. ;-)
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Re: Do you know someone that
Sat, December 24, 2005 - 12:51 AMglad to meet you, I worked over 25 yrs in the newspaper bussiness back shop as you can tell, the other pressmen use to pour over the sheet looking for typos and misspellings just to gloat, I most of the time was at a loss as to what they saw... I knew back in the old days proofers were always guys and girls with think glasses reading novels on thier breaks, eating endine salads, god bless them though they all knew more than me....
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