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  <title>Entheogen Enlightenment Institute's topics - tribe.net</title>
  <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/threads/atom" />
  <subtitle>Tribe.net. Local Connections</subtitle>
  <entry>
    <title>War</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c335b918-7fae-45bc-a94a-a1d68b66ba37" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c335b918-7fae-45bc-a94a-a1d68b66ba37</id>
    <updated>2008-08-20T17:13:14Z</updated>
    <published>2008-08-20T17:13:14Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;i guess we are at war with the plants, we human animals 
&lt;br/&gt;i recall the helplessness and horror I felt as my fellow Americans waved flags in support of this ungodly Iraq war 
&lt;br/&gt;it is the same even the though the plants are tellings us not to be afraid, that we are all one, yet we insist 
&lt;br/&gt;NO - we are special, different, separate: "human" 
&lt;br/&gt;I thought it insane: a war between plants and man? But it is not insane at all, it is now -
&lt;br/&gt;We human animals have been at war with the plants for millenium
&lt;br/&gt;Beat your swords into plowshares, humans! 
&lt;br/&gt;Eat a fistful of dirt, humans! 
&lt;br/&gt;Lay down and press your bare, human face against the earth from which we were summoned 
&lt;br/&gt;and be still
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;(poem Remembering You)
&lt;br/&gt;I want to know this earth 
&lt;br/&gt;From which I was summoned -
&lt;br/&gt;Each molecule of my being
&lt;br/&gt;Carved from the mass of this planet
&lt;br/&gt;I eat a fistful of dirt,
&lt;br/&gt;Press my bare, human face 
&lt;br/&gt;Against the raw earth of this planet,
&lt;br/&gt;Sit in that empty space inside
&lt;br/&gt;Staring at the stars in dark night sky
&lt;br/&gt;Even in eternity I will remember you
&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
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		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-08-20T17:13:14Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Many paths lead to the top of the mountain</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/3d51e16a-aaa1-49d2-9812-9ec8f2f38378" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/3d51e16a-aaa1-49d2-9812-9ec8f2f38378</id>
    <updated>2008-08-19T18:35:42Z</updated>
    <published>2008-08-19T18:35:42Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;I have often heard this and basically accepted it at a deep level. But every path that I have followed leads to here and now. 
&lt;br/&gt;is the top the mountain right here?
&lt;br/&gt;is it right now?
&lt;br/&gt;breathing in, breathing out ...&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
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		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-08-19T18:35:42Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Equinox Shamanic Journey to Peru • Febrary/March 2009</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/8df061d9-200d-4fe2-91b9-24cf375d2914" />
    <author>
      <name>Steffan</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/8df061d9-200d-4fe2-91b9-24cf375d2914</id>
    <updated>2008-08-07T21:47:53Z</updated>
    <published>2008-08-07T21:47:53Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Hi Everyone, 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I'm reposting this with updated info. The Amazon itinerary has changed and we are now looking at a 12 day ayahuasca retreat in the Jungle near Iquitos. Please see details below. At the moment, the information pertaining to the 'Amazon' portion of the program is more accurate than what is listed on the itinerary page of my web site.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I'm offering a guided Shamanic Journey to Andes of Peru to take place March 10-21, 2009. The program will be preceded by an optional 12 day ayahuasca retreat (February 25 - March 9, 2009) in the jungle near Iquitos, where we will diet, take flower baths, swim and drink ayahuasca 5 times. I still have plenty of space for more participants. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;In the Andes, will be working with world renown expert of Inca cosmology, author and shaman 'Mallku' (James Arévalo Merejildo). Mallku will lead us in ceremony at the following ancient temple sites: Pizac, Machu Picchu (twice), Ollantaytambo, Sacsayhuaman, Qenco, the water temple of Tipon, The Temple of Wiracocha, Ajayu Marka (a dimensional doorway), Puno, Lake Titicaca and the island of Amantani and Colca Canyon, the great canyon of the condor. Our Andean journey will afford us the opportunity to partake in 3 Huachuma (San Pedro) rituals, the last of which will be held on the morning of the equinox on the Island of Amantani (Lake Titicaca). 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;This year's Journey (March 2008) was a great success. Everyone bonded deeply and was very grateful for my efforts. The group was blown away by Mallku's facilitation and two individuals are considering participating again in 2009. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Prior to the Andes portion of the tour we will be participating in a 12 day ayahuasca retreat at the retreat center of Javier Arevalo, a well known and respected curnadero. We will also be working with other ayahuasca healers that have up till now only worked with the native population. Below is the itinerary. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;The current travel itinerary to Iquitos looks as follows: 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Arrive in Lima Feb 24th/25th, or earlier if you choose. Fly to Iquitos on February 25th. Overnight in hotel. Begin Ayahuasca retreat February 26. End ayahuasca retreat March 9th. Overnight in Iquitos and fly to Lima and on to Cuzco March 10th. The Andes portion of the program proceeds as laid out in the itinerary of my web site. Please ignore the Iquitos extension currently on my web site (see below). This will be updated and solidified as soon as we have a few more committed people. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;The cost of the ayahuasca extension will be reduced from what is listed on my web site, and will be somewhere around $600 (maybe less depending on how many people come aboard). 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Ayahuasca Extension Itinerary: 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 1 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ 1 hour journey by river boat on the Rio Nanay then 10 to 30 minute walk through jungle to the Temple campus (subject to river level). 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Introduction to the Curandero. Traditional welcome drink and meal. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ General discussion on Amazonian Shamanism, Ayahuascueros and plant medicines. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Decide on which plant to diet and commence plant diet. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual initial consultations with the Curandero. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Evening meal at 8pm – strict food diet commences in addition to plant diet (which is drunk). 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 2 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Walk into the jungle to identify and get to know various medicinal plants and their uses. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 3 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ First “Bano de Florecimiento” – Limpieza (cleaning physical, emotional and spiritual bodies to remove negativity stored up in your body) at 12 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 1 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Group discussion on personal animal spirits. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Free evening to reflect and relax. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Evening meal at 8.00 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 4 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Preparation of Ayahuasca (group to participate in the process) 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm (or evening meal for those not participating) 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 5 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Free evening to reflect and relax. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Evening meal at 8.00 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 6 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Second “Bano de Florecimiento” – Flores Blancas (helps bring Light to your body, aids with feeling more relaxed and helps removes bad dreams) at 12pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 1and 2 pm. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Boat trip to 2 nearby “cochas” (lagoons) / opportunity to swim in the lagoons. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪  Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm (or evening meal for those not participating) 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 7 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Free evening to reflect and relax. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Evening meal at 8.00 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 8 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm (or evening meal for those not participating) 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 9 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Third “Bano de Florecimiento” – Purificacion (purificacion bath for your spirit and mind, to bring spirits to your dreams and visions to help teach you, protection against bad spirits, good to remove negativity and to bring good luck) at 12 pm. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 1 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Walk into the jungle for further identification of medicinal plants. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Free evening to reflect and relax. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Evening meal at 8.00 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 10 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Plant diet continues. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Optional fishing trip 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Individual consultations with the Curandero 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Ayahuasca ceremony at 8pm (or evening meal for those not participating) 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 11 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Finish plant diet. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Breakfast between 8 and 10 am. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Lunch between 12 and 2 pm 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Final day in Temple campus. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Final consultations with the Curandero. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Farewell meal and "cut" the plant diet. 
&lt;br/&gt;▪ Meditation ceremony at 9pm 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Day 12 
&lt;br/&gt;12 pm - walk to the Rio Nanay for return boat trip and transport back to Iquitos. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Please visit my web site for more information. 
&lt;br/&gt;www.sacredperuadventures.com/itinerary.html
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;What can you expect to get out of this program? 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;First let me say that you will have the rare opportunity to work with one of the most knowledgeable individuals in the field Inca cosmology and Peruvian solar archeology. Mallku is a kind and generous being, holds a high very high consciousness, has the highest integrity and is an absolute delight to work with. He has written numerous books outlining the importance of, and the deep wisdom contained in Peru's ancient temples. Three excellent books by Mallku are "Machu Picchu Forever, City of Pilgrims", "Inka Initiation Path, The Awakening Of The Puma", and his latest, "Inka Power Places, Solar Initiations". 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;1.) Through Mallku's expert facilitation you will receive an in-depth understanding of ancient Inca Cosmology and how this wisdom can apply to your life today. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;2.) You will receive a true immersion into ancient and modern Peruvian culture and return home having experienced Peru in a life changing and profound way. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;3.) You will participate in rituals and ceremonies in key places on on this journey that will help you to reclaim the sacred in your life and to re-embrace the master path. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;4.) You will have the opportunity to participate in three Huachuma (San Pedro) ceremonies designed to help you deeply integrate the new understandings and commitments you embrace and to deepen your connection with Pachamama (Mother Earth) 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;5.) It is also highly likely that you will deeply bond with other members of the group and create wonderful new friendships. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Our intention in offering these sacred journeys, is for all of humanity to reawaken to our full potential as divine human beings and to re-embrace the Master Path. If your soul has been calling you to make a spiritual quest to Peru, than I invite you to participate in this spectacular journey with us in March of 2009. I can almost assure you that any expectation you might have will be exceeded. This journey is open to all sincere spiritual seekers. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Please visit my web site for more information. 
&lt;br/&gt;www.sacredperuadventures.com/itinerary.html&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
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		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Steffan</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-08-07T21:47:53Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Entheogen enchanced self healing attempt</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/554c10ec-8044-425d-88fc-233e0d3a60a7" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/554c10ec-8044-425d-88fc-233e0d3a60a7</id>
    <updated>2008-08-06T13:39:58Z</updated>
    <published>2008-08-04T20:16:35Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;HEALING ATTEMPT SELF RECORD
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Got up about 7am and had two cups of coffee with half and half. Began eating 4.8 grams dried mushroom about 8:30 am - again a big pile. Blessed mushrooms and self using sage smoke and centered myself with the sage smoke and the cardinal points. Feel nauseas again as usual. Jana’ still sleeping. I am in living room but will retire to bed before mushrooms kick in. What concerns me most with this is the steroids that I am on and the blood thinner - two prescription meds. Really, this is self experimentation since I am not sure how either of these pharmaceuticals will interact with mushrooms? But I am trying to put that out of my mind - another thing to fear - and concentrate on healing. It is clear to me that I personally will have to be involved in the healing; that the mushrooms will not do it on their own - they are here to help. I have the Blue Whale screen saver up to help visualized my spirit guide later in the trip, hopefully. I am about half way done with big pile of mushrooms -  O shit it is on now. No going back - what an odd feeling this “no going back“. It is like leaping off of cliff with faith that somehow you will not die when you hit the ground. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I will just go lie down in bed and see what will be. I hope to go into this experience like last May with Jana’s healing attempt and call up the Blue Whale and let him guide me to (wherever?) then wing it as usual, go with whatever experience happens: if there is door, I will go through it; if there is a window, I will climb through it; If I see a road or path, I will follow it; If there is an ocean, I will swim out into it - the first thing is to allow the blue whale spirit guide to get me to at least the correct jumping off spot. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I do this in the name of love with only the best intentions. What will be, will be with this old physical body here on this world,  so will shall see. 
&lt;br/&gt;     What I am is eternity.
&lt;br/&gt;     Where I am is here
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Not the first this has happened to me - nothing, that is. I lay down for a while and relaxed in bed.  I felt resigned and okay, not great. Jana’ slept next to me. I think it was a little after nine at this point. At about ten I smoked a couple bowls to see if that might help kick things off but to no effect. About 10:30 Jana’ awoke and we got up. I felt like the healing trip was an abort - nada. I could have eaten more but choose not to. I guess I think of it as respecting the mushrooms will instead of trying to force my own will. I’m not saying that this is the right way to deal with things but it is how I deal with things. I came to the healing in uncertainty, without confidence - on my knees, in other words, as I always do. I would only assume that a confident person would approach them differently? But I have never been a confident person - yet neither am I a pretender. It is simply not in me to be directional or controlling. Everything in me at the deepest level brings me to reverence before the great, unknown but benevolent power that these mushroom elders represent. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I threw myself into this rabbit hole with not only abandon but much faith. 
&lt;br/&gt;     As I lay there in bed before giving up, my mind had tried to wander off as it will, monkey mind, and I had to consciously wrench it back to my own personal healing. I felt like I did a good job at this, managing to keep my focus where I felt that it needed to be - it is in this manner that I try to bring intention into the trip experience, hoping that once “I take off” I will then carry what I have been recently thinking and visualizing into the altered reality opened by the mushrooms. This is the only “technique” that I possess to accomplish the act of taking my conscious intention into the psychedelic experience. I also visualized the blue whale over and over, looking at the screen saver I have a blue whale and closing my eyes, seeing him there, and repeating this again and again, in this manner trying to bring intention over to the other side. The blue whale spirit guide would be key in this, I felt. All of this in itself was a good mental exercise. But then as I lie still waiting, my whole being sensitive to the signs that the mushrooms were “coming on”, but there came no ego death, no crossing over, no visions, no altered reality. 
&lt;br/&gt;     The trip was a bust, I thought. I have been through this before and found it best not to dwell on why my mind seemed so hard to crack sometimes. So I had practice on letting that part go which is good because that part could drive me nuts in itself if I let it. Because I had been down this road before is probably why I did not try to boost the trip - to “force” it. Maybe our minds are different here in the rabbit hole? 
&lt;br/&gt;     It took me a long time to make myself get up out of bed. When I finally did my legs felt particularly weak and numb - kind of weird, gross feeling that is hard to put into words, definitely nothing like anything that I’ve ever felt before. I thought that the only choice I had in all of eternity was either get up out of bed - engage - or stay in bed - disengage. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I choose to engage but it felt like just barely. The metaphysical implications of this were not lost on me. Maybe that is the only choice we had, I wondered, swinging my numb, yucky feeling legs out of bed. But I didn’t take it too seriously: engage/disengage.  
&lt;br/&gt;     Who knows? 
&lt;br/&gt;     One thing that has been made clear to me in all of this is that I know nothing - it is like digging in sand. 
&lt;br/&gt;     Jana’ made breakfast but I felt nauseas even after one bite and could not eat much. When Jana’ tried to talk to me I would have to giggle. I was suffering from a form of aphasia which was common for me especially on high doses. 
&lt;br/&gt;     You are fucked up, she laughed. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I insisted that I was not, that nothing happened. I was perfectly normal and lucid. In fact, I had a good buzz on - too bad that I had not gone into this for a good buzz but for a healing. There have been times in the past even after “coming out” of an altered reality, I could still not speak at all for many hours afterward. I would form the words perfectly in my mind but I could not utter them no matter how hard I tried. In this case I could speak but it was just difficult. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I sat across from my wife  in our small living room as she perused the days news on her laptop. It occurred to me that in so many ways I still did not know her even after being married 21 years. I stared at her for quite a while until she finally asked, “are you staring at me?” To which my only answer was mild giggling. I really tried to comprehend her but I ultimately found myself coming up again against that existential wall - comprehending her was impossible, like capturing life itself and putting it in a jar. Any true comprehension of her reality lived and moved with her, the life of her, the ineffable and transient herness of her. Vaguely I perceived the work of the mushrooms and perceived that I was to explore my own physical reality today, which included psychology. The mushrooms were doing something just not at all what I expected and I felt them moving deep, deep down inside of myself in some dark place vaguely equivalent to where their mycelium moved ever so slowly underground. It was almost as though they did not want to be noticed today. I felt some need to play along and pretended with them that they were not there. Their movement was so slow it was almost beyond perception and they were silent and coincidentally, I had no desire to move physically either but my mind began to slowly and  precisely move across the mundane, physical world of my life. 
&lt;br/&gt;     How many times have you gone on a trip which turned out not the be the trip you expected but maybe the trip you needed? 
&lt;br/&gt;     Today, the mushroom seemed to want me to do a hard reality check. This I did and my present reality is rather harsh in a number of ways. Take a good look around the rabbit hole you have thrown yourself into, and get back to us, the mushrooms  seemed to be saying. 
&lt;br/&gt;     The thought occurred to me that all our relationships and everything that happens in this life is a lesson to help us negotiate eternity. Of this I was convinced. Just learning to love on a planet where one sentient creature eats another sentient creature alive is a beautiful and immeasurably valuable lesson. Learning to discipline the mind in creativity and imagination - learning so many lessons peculiar to this world of ours. I thought that in a strange way it did not matter if I could walk or not. It did not matter even if I lived or died. I had made a very conscious decision to pursue knowledge over everything, even my own and Jana’s well being - this is the real point of grasping that Tigers Tail. This is what it means to me to follow the mushroom path. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I did not anticipate this Multiple Sclerosis thing which is adding the to reality check. Kind of like being hit in the head with a baseball bat and asked if you are awake. I thought of a carnival ride that I was on a kid and I got scared and started crying and screaming at the carnival  hand to stop the ride. Well I cannot stop this ride so it would do not good to cry and yell. This ride never stops. Life comes and goes, the physical universe comes and goes, all smaller and larger speed bumps on the road of eternity. Might as well enjoy the ride when you can. The MS thing had cured my ennui expressed in the Gila Trip report. I definitely appreciate life more: the old adage that you have to (almost) lose something to appreciate it. Almost dying a couple months ago really made an impression upon me. Not only that, but shitting myself in bed like an infant, being completely paralyzed for a period of time - all served to make me more aware of what a miracle health and life really is. It is not facing death but facing incapacitation, perhaps permanent or worsening paralyses that frightens me the most. Laying in bed completely paralyzed for the rest of my life is to me the worst fate I can think of.
&lt;br/&gt;     For hours then I sat and contemplated mostly my physical predicament. What had brought me to this place in my life? I thought a lot about the Tigers Tail - that ultimate truth of reality that I knew at one time. I had consciously traded my own and my wife’s welfare for just the chance that I could blow open this greater reality somehow - in my own mind. Of course, in retrospect, I see that the tiger had me by the tail. But really, what does it matter? I know now beyond words that I am an eternal being - is it greedy to want to know more? Perhaps a bad idea to wrestle with the tiger? Maybe just let it go altogether and return to “normal conscious” life? But I could not and I cannot do that. I have leapt headfirst into the rabbit hole and there is no going back. Either there is something for me down in here or else I will fall to my death, tumbling down into the rabbit with the tiger, wrestling because we are one, bound and yet separate.  One way or another, I will find out - this is where the tiger went! If I want to know what the tiger knows then I must follow the tiger. Again, part if what it really means to follow the mushroom path.
&lt;br/&gt;     I understood that I had chosen this place that I am at. I had vowed my life for knowledge, given my pledge to a voice in my own head, and walking or not walking and even life and death did not matter. These were mere distractions - O the tiger is famous for distraction! But I would not be distracted. My mind is fine so this does not slow me down from my main task which involves the opening of my mind (enlightenment) and the opening of my heart (love). If my purpose here in this world were to run marathons then my mission would be much impaired. My experience with the MS brought me comfort in giving me a real life test of whether or not my own consciousness has actually changed - or I am full of shit. When told that I might die in the hospital, I had no fear of death. I thought dispassionately that if I live, I live and if I die I die. In truth, there is not much that I could have done. So what lesson is this teaching me? I thought wryly. This looking at death, at dying, as a lesson is a gift from the mushrooms - they gave me this. It is not a “bad trip” but rather a lesson, a healing. It is up to me, my eternal being, to glean the meaning and benefit from it. Rather than yell at the Carney to stop the ride, better to enjoy the ride, appreciate the ride, understand the ride - after all, this ride goes on forever. 
&lt;br/&gt;     On the other hand, I spent hours thinking about our physical predicament. I thought little about my MS condition itself but about the practical aspects, mostly healthcare: only in America! Literally! No one would have me for health insurance and social security is let’s just say a misnomer. It was as though with this healing attempt I was calling in an extraction and the mushrooms response was: “break contact, continue mission” - not what  you want to hear when you are calling in for an extraction. But it doesn’t matter if a soldier is asshole to eyeballs deep in shit, he does what he is told. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I think now what the mushrooms did was tell me to attend to practical matters and get back to them when that is taken care of. Today I called my neurologist, the social security, getting the ball rolling. I hate this kind of shit and there is a very real part of me that would rather just die than deal with the ungodly bureaucracy of it all!
&lt;br/&gt;     “Give unto Caesar’s  what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s”.    
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     
&lt;br/&gt;     
&lt;br/&gt;     
&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-08-04T20:16:35Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Shamanic Intensive Training Course in Bolivian Andes &amp;amp; Amazon</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/5b03b823-510d-492e-aae5-57554bd4d6d3" />
    <author>
      <name>Miguel</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/5b03b823-510d-492e-aae5-57554bd4d6d3</id>
    <updated>2008-07-27T19:38:16Z</updated>
    <published>2008-07-13T13:48:00Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Sacha Runa Collective offers two Month-long Shamanic Intensive Training Courses a year 
&lt;br/&gt;(Jan/Feb and August) in the Bolivian Andes&amp;amp; Amazon (www.sacharuna.com). 
&lt;br/&gt;The course is indeed Intensive and deeply transformational. 
&lt;br/&gt;It is intended to help train those people who trully want to entrust themselves to Spirit 
&lt;br/&gt;and dedicate themselves to Service. 
&lt;br/&gt;No prerequisite is necessary, except the absolute determination to face oneself 
&lt;br/&gt;and do what is needed to allow spirit to flow through us and bless creation. 
&lt;br/&gt;The next one is August1-30. 
&lt;br/&gt;Have to fly in and out of la Paz, Bolivia. 
&lt;br/&gt;Application letters are due ASAP. 
&lt;br/&gt;The next course is Jan/Feb 2009 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;For serious apprentices who intend to become full fledged shamans and 
&lt;br/&gt;conduct medicine ceremonies, at least 4 courses are recommended but it 
&lt;br/&gt;ultimately dependes on everybody's skills. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;For a description of the course, please visit www.sacharuna.com 
&lt;br/&gt;Blessings: 
&lt;br/&gt;Miguel A. Kavlin&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 1 reply
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Miguel</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-07-13T13:48:00Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Hi from the 4th Shamanic conference in Iquitos, Amazon.</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/f5de72a7-5bc0-4ff4-97c7-db40b4ff00f5" />
    <author>
      <name>Dean</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/f5de72a7-5bc0-4ff4-97c7-db40b4ff00f5</id>
    <updated>2008-07-24T11:41:24Z</updated>
    <published>2008-07-23T20:41:45Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Hi from the 4th Shamanic conference in Iquitos, Amazon.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Well what an adventure so far. Im now in Iquitos and its day 4 of the 4th Shamanic conference
&lt;br/&gt;After completing an amazing 16 day shamanic tour in Peru it was time to fly to Iquitos one hour flight from the nearest road. Its hard to imagine this thriving frontier town in the middle of the amazon jungle was build and exists quite well without any roads connecting it to the outside world. Iquitos is the host to the 4th Shamanic conference and presents around 20 shamans and a few western philosophers. About 300 people have flown to this remote town to listen and get a direct experience from the shamans of the amazon and the power plants themselves, mainly ayahuasca. Last week Peru  proclaimed  ayahuasca a national treasure therefore keeping it out of the clutches of Americas desire to outlaw all power plants. On the first day 12 shamans introduced themselves and people could choose who they were going to drink the sacred brew with. It was a smorgasbord of shamans. I picked one to be my guide for my ayahuasca journey tonight in a thatched hut on the other side of the amazon river. There are 3 sessions planned over this 8 day conference so it not all talk. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I just returned from a 3 day trip to visit the Shipebo people and had an amazing night experiencing the ayauasca brew and 5 Shipebos chanting the mystical icaros. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Dennis Mc Kenna speech declared that ayahuasca was now going global in an attempt to get humanity to reconnect with nature and regain harmony with the natural kingdom. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I have uploaded the 4 days proceedings to my website www.planetearthinternettv.com  Ill be uploading edited stories and camera tapes of the conference and sessions daily. For more info on the conference see http://www.soga-del-alma.org/ConferenceSite/ 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;For the whales
&lt;br/&gt;Dean Jefferys
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;See my other websites and become a friend
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.planetearthinternettv.com
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.flightofthehumpback.org 
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.myspace.com/whalingdontbuyit 
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.myspace.com/deanjefferys
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.youtube.com/shaman1958
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.youtube.com/flightofthehumpback  
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com
&lt;br/&gt;http://operator11.com/people/9343
&lt;br/&gt;http://people.tribe.net/c5ad8e1e-af29-441b-9087-28fbaaacad09
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=590968500&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 1 reply
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Dean</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-07-23T20:41:45Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Source1Herbs; Party Pills, Snuff, Smoke, Kratom, Salvia and much more</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a013b0a5-2a35-4b0c-a56c-281aafb33629" />
    <author>
      <name>Kevin</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a013b0a5-2a35-4b0c-a56c-281aafb33629</id>
    <updated>2008-07-13T12:41:22Z</updated>
    <published>2008-07-13T12:41:22Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;All these Products and more, we've had nothing but excellent reviews,  all extracts are lab produced.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Kratom is Premium Red Vein Indonesian Kratom, this is Indonesia's highest quality Kratom wildcrafted only the best leaves are picked.  A wide range of some of the highest quality extracts are also available.  Many of the top reputable vendors online stock our products.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;A wide range of Party Pills available for Canada and a couple available worldwide, these are very high quality and resemble street drug type highs and are 100% Legal.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Source1Herbs is offering free DHL express courier shipping on orders over $100, and is giving away free samples when mentioning this code with your first order;  KL420&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 0 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Kevin</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-07-13T12:41:22Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>You think there is true meaning behind salvia?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/e7ac0e20-32b5-4ab5-a0a6-0bc6bdf2232c" />
    <author>
      <name>Adam</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/e7ac0e20-32b5-4ab5-a0a6-0bc6bdf2232c</id>
    <updated>2008-07-13T09:19:12Z</updated>
    <published>2008-02-07T03:16:12Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;I have done salvia on a handful of occasions, but none really stuck in my memory than the times I had a really high quality extract.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I don't know if its just me, but the kind of expierence I have is out of this world, and it seems that salvia strips you of what you precieve as 'reality' and shows you how life really is. I almost become sort of suicidal after every trip because it causes me to think that life as we know it is all a cover, I swear like something out of The Matrix.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Does anyone agree with me?&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 21 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Adam</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-02-07T03:16:12Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>The Secret Life of Plants rant</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/ab7ebb74-44e1-4875-9d23-a5bd9b7ccf86" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/ab7ebb74-44e1-4875-9d23-a5bd9b7ccf86</id>
    <updated>2008-07-12T14:24:40Z</updated>
    <published>2008-07-12T02:58:07Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Just finished reading, The Secret Life of Plants. It boggles the mind how long we have been dancing this dance, we humans. Time and again collectively we have chosen to maintain the status quo even over life itself. What a strong instinct we must have pulling us to maintain this status quo.  The only hope I see is that this status quo is flexible with its only prerequisite being that whatever the status quo is, it allows the few to control the many.
&lt;br/&gt;     The few controlling the many is how we  humans function socially. It is how we swing the bat. It was by forgoing meetings and democratic elections that we out ran the saber toothed tiger to here. Did we really change our very natures in a mere ten thousand years? Or are we still essentially a gatherer/scavenger, having reached our apex in the Paleolithic era, our bodies, minds and spirits having evolved from the dirt of this earth? I think it has been but the blink of an eye since an first tossed a stick at  a large predator to the present with aa  Voyager I intergalactic spacecraft sailing out of our galaxy.
&lt;br/&gt;     Clearly, authority has fed us a lie. History is a lie. Sociology a lie. Anthropology a lie. 
&lt;br/&gt;     We must take our arms and sweep the desk clean so that we can lay down a new paradigm on the table before it is too late. In this new paradigm pesticides and all the economic interests they represent do not come ahead of life, pharmaceuticals and all the economic interest they represent to not come ahead of human suffering and death. Without some map of where exactly we are going, it is rather spurious to just all head off in different directions. This is exactly what we have been doing  and evidently intend on continue doing with our lauded free market system, pulling out any semblance of coordination and letting “the free market” work its magic. Collectively, we seem to really think that 6.5 billion and climbing is no big deal. Collectively, we seem to think that the resources we are using are okay and require no coordinated, human effort to shepherd.  We have worldwide only the most rudimentary forms of family planning while our population is literally exploding out of control right in front of our eyes.
&lt;br/&gt;      The new paradigm will have no place on the table for the free market system. What has now clearly become multinational corporations with more wealth and power than nation states but few of the nations states responsibilities to its people, these corporations serving only their own entity and nothing and no one else. This very concept of serving only one’s own entity must not be a part of the new paradigm.  True, some of the upper, middle and lower class  now have assets in these corporations but essentially these corporations represent the interests of the wealthy elite as can be plainly seen by looking at the public holdings in terms of personal wealth. The problem is that maintaining the status quo as we have been doing and as we continue to do, by means of this free market system which we are just successfully transporting to Asia and India, is not sustainable for our planet.      In fact, we may have already crossed some invisible threshold beyond which our planet and sustainable not longer go together in a sentence. 
&lt;br/&gt;     The bell has been rung again and again by many different people. For their trouble some of these bell ringers were drawn and quartered, hung, shot, burnt to death or thrown into a modern, private, corporate prison in the United States of America. (Land of the highest per capita incarceration in the world) And through all this collectively (“collectively”) we have turned a blind eye and let evil have its way. Our seduction by the status quo, ostensibly a survival adaptation, may well lead us collectively to our doom. 
&lt;br/&gt;     The next time we hear the bell toll, we need not even ask, it tolls for us. It has always tolled for us. 
&lt;br/&gt;    &lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 1 reply
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-07-12T02:58:07Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>San Pedro</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a01516c3-5b01-488f-b404-6bab1d1d5f2c" />
    <author>
      <name>marcus</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a01516c3-5b01-488f-b404-6bab1d1d5f2c</id>
    <updated>2008-07-09T08:20:36Z</updated>
    <published>2008-07-09T02:44:59Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;I am a MSW student and have been exploring alternative natural medicines to aid in the intervention of negative addictive patterns...I found the San Pedro cactus to be quite helpful in these matters...I have both experimented in Peru, as well as growing the cactus myself and utilizing its contents...with  respect....I am looking to gain experience with Psilocybin for the same purpose but do not know much about accessing or growing them myself...any advice would be appreciated...I have a pretty damp garage access to under the house soils...I am also curious about Ayahuasca and have located a source online....Ibogaine is out of my financial reach...
&lt;br/&gt;My research is participant, and involves harm reduction interventions for relieving chemical and alcohol dependence via the psychoactive experiences...nothing new really..
&lt;br/&gt;Saludos&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>marcus</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-07-09T02:44:59Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Entheogen for pennies</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/4a28bbb7-ffc1-4034-abb5-d4139ce5f9fd" />
    <author>
      <name>Solari</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/4a28bbb7-ffc1-4034-abb5-d4139ce5f9fd</id>
    <updated>2008-06-21T13:44:53Z</updated>
    <published>2008-06-19T16:53:46Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Scientifically controlled tests of magnetically altered water demonstrate a potentiation of glutamate decarboxylase which is probably the primary route to psychoactivity via pineal and pituitary gland stimulation. I have several self-styled shaman friends who love this simply made stuff for inducing altered states. It most obviously boosts melatonin and serotonin but also probably increases pinoline and other glandular goodies. The gultamate decarboxylase study is further linked at the end of my article.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.subtleenergies.com/ormus/tw/magneticalteration.htm
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;There are more devices to see but that will require joining some Yahoo groups.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Bo Long
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 5 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Solari</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-06-19T16:53:46Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Medical Potential of Entheogens</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a98770d3-0652-429e-bee5-77202c2ca772" />
    <author>
      <name>litshaman</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/a98770d3-0652-429e-bee5-77202c2ca772</id>
    <updated>2008-06-12T14:45:51Z</updated>
    <published>2008-06-12T14:45:51Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Please post stories of healing with the aide of entheogens. I am interested how many people are attempting to incorporate plant wisdom into treatment plans for chronic disease and disorders, mental health and/or addiction withdraw/recovery. I have personally been healed by my plant teachers of my deadly connection to alcohol and tobacco. I hope that my years of abuse have not hurt my health beyond repair, but now at least I have a shot at living a healthier life. I have also recently given up mammal meat and was guided to this decision by entheogens. My Post traumatic Stress Disorder from the war in Iraq has been greatly reduced in the magnitude of my symptoms and frequency of panic attacks due to the partaking of a daily green entheogen. please e-mail me directly if you wish not to post the specifics (dose, substance combinations that work for what illness/disorder/etc., ideas on entheogen healing). DOSMITH@COMCAST.NET &lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
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		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>litshaman</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-06-12T14:45:51Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Gila Wilderness "Trip"</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/46efe5b1-1f5d-4633-9721-dd5c426d0276" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/46efe5b1-1f5d-4633-9721-dd5c426d0276</id>
    <updated>2008-06-11T22:27:06Z</updated>
    <published>2008-05-06T22:59:18Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;An old foot injury acted up and I ended up base camping at my fantastic camp site only a mile and a half in for the entire six days, after resting up the second day doing day hikes up the canyon and a side trail. I’ve never stayed this long at a single camp site and it was interesting in a way, really allowing me to get the feel of this place. On the fourth day I felt that my head was in about as good a place as my head can get. I call it the three day phenomenon. After three days in the wilderness I always seem to settle into a really good mental place, especially on a solo trip like this. I had brought with me 4.1 dried grams of Cambodian psilocybin mushroom and woke thinking about the mushrooms. I felt slightly nauseas. It seems like every time I’m going to take mushrooms I wake up feeling slightly nauseas - maybe it’s fear? While I have never really had a “bad trip” with the mushrooms, I always fear them. Not only is the ego death scary, in this case I had not done a large dose for almost a year and I had a deep and abiding feeling that they (I think of the mushrooms now as “The Elders”) were going to hammer me - for my own good, of course.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I had a big cup of coffee while I waited for air temperatures to come up and then when the temperature got up in the fifties, I made a tea of the mushrooms. I had not done this before and steeping them in hot water ended up putting the cup in my cooking pot, making a kind of double boiler since you do not want to boil them, and reheating them several times because the broth looked so thin. When I was done, the ¾ cup of broth that I had left after straining off the solids was still fairly thin looking, slightly yellowish. I held my nose and knocked it back about 10:30. I had been mashing the mushrooms for about an hour trying to squeeze out all the psilocybin that I could and the remaining ground up pieces of soggy mushroom sitting in the bottom of my coffee funnel had a distinct blue hue to them in the morning sunlight. This made me wonder even more about the potency of my broth and I told myself that I would probably end up having to eat that mushroom mush before this was all over. I really wanted to try a mushroom broth just because I had never consumed them that way before but to be honest I was having a hard time getting up my nerve to take another large dose and I knew that this method would not yield the highest dosage - in other words, I was dancing around them kind of chickenshit. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I usually go through a period of chills and so retired into my tent to wait and see what would happen. Usually, they kick in after about forty minutes when eaten and I suspected that with drinking they might kick in a little bit quicker. They did. Just as I was starting to think that perhaps this broth had been as weak as it appeared, somewhat reluctantly contemplating eating the remaining blue mushroom mush, about thirty minutes after drinking it, they began to kick in. I immediately sensed then that the broth “worked” after all - it was coming on pretty strong. I had to overcome a not uncommon impulse to make myself throw up in an effort to stave off the effects - yea, I’m not a brave psychonaut! I lay in the tent then trying to relax and feeling them come on stronger every second. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I began to hear a slight crackling sound. Here we go! I thought kind of wildly. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I breathed deeply, drawing breathe into the bottom of lungs and bringing it up until they were full and then releasing it from the top of the lungs down until empty. I tried to concentrate on my breathe and to keep it even and smooth and to not think; to just not think at all. But of course I thought. The mushroom that I took was from a single mushroom that had been about 45 grams wet, my biggest one. So being an American after all, I had thought that well this must be “the one”. Bigger is better, right? As I lay there, I reminded myself that I knew this mushroom, that is was nothing to fear. I visualized it in my mind, this particular mushroom growing, pulling it gently from its casing, holding it in my hand, noticing again in my minds eye how it was bigger than my hand, how beautiful it was …. 
&lt;br/&gt;     That seemed to assuage my fear a little and while I continued to deep breath, concentrating as best I could upon each breathe, I began to give myself to the effects. I knew that at this point I really had no choice. My choice had been made thirty minutes earlier and now I was in hands of what I had found to be a great and mysterious and frightening power. I was glad that I didn’t feel the need to fight it any more. I felt a little nauseas and crawled feebly out of my tent swaying slightly on my hands and knees and feeling vulnerable outside the tent even a few feet, like some small animal might feel vulnerable outside their hole. I found then that I did not really have to throw up after all - it was just the restlessness kicking in, my mind beginning to squirm as though in a somewhat desperate effort to escape the confines of my own skull. 
&lt;br/&gt;     Let me out! My mind screams, wanting to tear off across the dry wilderness or scream away into the sky. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;…sinking legs struggling deep down into the sandy earth - ah, sitting, just sitting … Sun driven winds blow me away across the dry land all in a whoosh and I am flowing out of self in waves like the ripples from a pebble tossed into a pond. Dancing the one dance now, the immaculate rhythm of it all, possessed of all things and all things possessing me and all in a constant motion. I, the earth, take one great breath and this is day and with one great exhalation bring forth night …
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Red cliffs with subtle purple shades smile above against an electric blue sky, smiling between the rich green spring growth along the Gila below, smiling like a brother would smile, a warm, brotherly love kind of smile. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     The Great Gaia mother of us all tells me that She was born of this earth, that She is of this earth as we are of our bodies, that She is not the earth itself but the spirit of the earth itself, as we are spirit and not this body itself. And yet of course She is the earth itself and She is us all and we are also our bodies ... 
&lt;br/&gt;     “I am the mother of your body,” she explains to me, “but I am not the mother of you, you who are eternity have no mother, no father". 
&lt;br/&gt;     I fall then forehead onto the sandy earth softly crying and wondering what lessons this place strives so violently to teach me - am so shallow? I should have seen, yes, of course She is not my mother. I wanted our Gaia Spirit to be my mother. It is only a natural feeling, I tell myself reassuring. It is nothing to be ashamed of …
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     And eternity smashes open everything with a blinding white light … 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;“Why are you back here,” The voice of the mushroom Elders addresses me sternly, almost annoyed - an unusual, impatient tone for the Elders. I am taken aback by their tone and before I can think of what to say or even to “look up” - I think I am still fallen face first into the earth - the Elders add emphatically, “You KNOW!” 
&lt;br/&gt;     When they say “KNOW” it is as if someone punches me in the stomach. My mind reels with it: Know what? I could not imagine. I look up and am on my knees before a great, bone white pillar backlit by a blinding white light and I somehow feel that the Elders voice has come from this pillar - there is nothing else, after all? 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     “But I do not know!” I address myself to the enormous white pillar, “that is why I am back?” 
&lt;br/&gt;     And then the Elders sigh a wordless exhalation, as if grown so very weary of me and the likes of me. I understand that it was their way of saying, “go ahead then”. 
&lt;br/&gt;     Suddenly I am weightless, beingless, at the place where we all come, the place beyond bone, beyond stone, the place where we have no staff to lean upon and no shield to hold up against the blows of fate - eternity. No womb, no birth, eternity. Eternity imploded and exploded at once and I feel as if I am gasping for air from the unfathomed ecstasy of it all. I draw away at last in wonder … why am I such a child if I am eternity? No, I sense that eternity is beyond the scope of our physical universe, this physical universe and our 3 billion years of evolution are but a blinking of an eternal eye. Again the sheer magnitude of eternity hits me in the chest, even though I thought that I had pulled away, and again it takes my breath from me. I bear down into it, inwardly concentrating my being into a laser like beam - What is this eternity? How? Why? Locking onto this with all my being and bearing down into it all with a sharp, laser beam of pure, unadulterated questioning. 
&lt;br/&gt;     ? 
&lt;br/&gt;     The thought occurs to me that death is not my father. I dismiss this thought like in meditation, watching it come and go, “death is not my father” the kind of thought that is capable of sucking one’s mind off into a dark and fruitless places. I knew then that I was here on this earth to learn lessons of eternity, lessons helpful to negotiating eternity, and I saw that this unique physical reality of ours, this earth where one sentient creature eats another sentient creature alive, where all who enter, enter through a woman’s womb, born of blood and pain into this often brutal and senseless place, this physicality of ours teaches us lessons for negotiating the infinity of our own being, the endless halls of our higher self - the self beyond this body, beyond even our souls. This world teaches us how to exist for an eternity, how to cope with what could become the hell of eternity by teaching things that are so crucially human on this world like creativity, music, art - the power of imagination. Imagination like magic opens eternity up, billowing the sails of infinity with an endless source of creativity. Then I began to see how a God might create a universe and even RNA/DNA and then maybe God watches this for billions of years as we here on this earth might watch television for the evening just for something to do.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     What about love, I think ...
&lt;br/&gt;     Then a very sweet but confident female voice says softly, “David,” tapping her finger on a table at the same time, very gently, so that I must listen carefully, “David,” she urges gently, patiently, “Come back here, be here”. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Love is not a lesson here, she seems to say, you are love, always have been love, you only have to recall what you are ...
&lt;br/&gt;     Yes I see clearly what she is saying and open my eyes and thinking, “is that the voice of eternity now?” Laughing at myself. But It was not the voice of the Gaia mother? I become aware of myself physically again. Even though my hair had been tied back, I have to gather it up and tie it back again, all a mess. I look around for a second recalling where I am. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Oh, yes. 
&lt;br/&gt;     “Where are you going?” the voice of eternity asks again, just as patiently, tapping her finger ever so gently upon that table. “Come back here, where is there to go?”, she insists, laughing playfully so that I laugh along with Her - yes, where is there to go? 
&lt;br/&gt;     Good one, eternity. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I find a couple sticks nearby the tent after discovering that I can move. I go into the sunny field under the long line of western cliffs maybe three hundred feet above. The sun feels wonderful, instantly taking the temperature up from about sixty in the shade to eighty. I clap my sticks together and cry out a song about the cliffs, about the river. It was a good thing at this point to be so far out in the wilderness. I feel that I am communicating with the ravens and turkey vultures circling high overhead. I feel the message of eternity flowing through me, “be here, be now,” the most important lesson perhaps that this world (which is nothing else if not distracting!) has to teach an eternal being. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Inexplicably, I think of shaman then and cry out happily, giddily, “O you shaman, you!” I guess I know that the shaman must also come to this place of white stone, white bone, to this place of blinding white light where nothing is hidden, where there is not the slightest shadow of self in which to hide ….
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I feel through this energy how profoundly much I do NOT inhabit my own body. I feel how all of my life I have rejected the fullest expression of my being. I did not really possess my self. I pictured myself then standing alone in long, white robes, a drooping white hood keeping my face in shadow. I was not living, I was observing. I was not the character, I was the writer. To have observed so very much and yet know so very little, I wondered a little shrilly. It was kind of terrifying. I feel as though I could slip into insanity here like breaking through rotten flooring into a basement.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I am beginning to come down. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I feel myself coming down through layers, the sensation of down, of returning back to this earth, returning slowly layer by layer of reality to my actual body collapsed now in the shade overlooking this bright field. The Gila turns a bend to my left under the cliffs and a ribbon of new green spring leaf follows it in the form of various blooming plants drawn intimately close to the precious water of the Gila. I see it frothing white in places. I hear the cascading of water. 
&lt;br/&gt;     What could I have done to have sentenced myself to death? I wondered helplessly. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Why would I want to punish myself by blowing my own head off! There it was, right there. Somehow I did not feel that I have a right to live. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Who am I to live?
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     As I continue down, back down, wrestling  with these personal questions, grappling with the reality of my own dispossession. Was I always like this? It seems not. I recalled being a careless child. Something in adolescence then - but what? Hormones? I do not recall any trauma. Sure I had the bad childhood but who doesn’t? But I felt how I could never give myself to anything my whole life long and I felt how this was because I never did possess myself to give. I was just watching this self. No wonder I felt no joy! You have to possess your own being to feel joy! As I continued down through the layers over a number of hours, I began to think of myself in the 3rd person - “we’re coming down now” as if to emphasize the disassociation. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Have I rejected my incarnation? 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     
&lt;br/&gt;I watch other people in wonder, “how do they have so much fun? Watching sports, dancing, whatever?” I think back to third grade watching newsreels of Hitler rallies in Nazi Germany at how appalled I was - not by the fascism, I was too young to really understand that, but by that vision of crowds numbering in the thousands all performing together, as if all were just one super organism - I rejected it viscerally. It made me want to flee the classroom. All those thousands in perfect unity like that! It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. It was daunting to discover how perpetual my condition was. I never was a joiner. I never felt the jingoism of country going to war, never felt really the team spirit of being part of a team, even though I played sports. I cannot begin to imagine actually feeling some connection to a commercial or collegiate sports team? I began to wonder if I had ever truly inhabited my own body? No wonder then that my experiences with these mushrooms were so compelling - this was the only time that I felt connected. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     Otherwise, I was not connected, fundamentally not connected and so for hours I wrestled with this as the Spring winds added their constant sighing to the cascading of the river. What would it feel like to be connected? Perhaps if I try hard enough I can imagine connection ... 
&lt;br/&gt;     I grow morose. I know this is what I came here for but am already sick of my self and weary to go back to thinking of nothing. Back to that place in my self where eternity is only a word. That is the place where I feel comfortable, the place that I am used to. 
&lt;br/&gt;     The only answer was to be here and be now. That feels a little to much like a bumper sticker to me: “Be Here, Be Now” and as soon as eternity stops tapping Her finger and calling me back, I drift more and more out of the moment as I come down. I feel hollow and depressed. The come down is jagged and hard and painful, as if cramming myself back into a broken jar or squeezing through a window full of ragged, broken glass. I feel that fully inhabiting my own being is hopeless - actually, what I think is : “We will never inhabit our own being!” And even though it is a beautiful Spring afternoon, I sit gloomily in the shade feeling quite helpless and hopeless. I feel sorry for myself, for being so close to eternity and yet so far away. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     I was just there and it was so real, I insist to myself but almost not believing it already. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;     How could I be eternity - hell, I am not even really here? 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-05-06T22:59:18Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Equinox Shamanic Journey to Peru - March 2009</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/53365d15-9d74-4d76-8dae-938b14e45bd3" />
    <author>
      <name>Steffan</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/53365d15-9d74-4d76-8dae-938b14e45bd3</id>
    <updated>2008-06-03T00:39:12Z</updated>
    <published>2008-06-03T00:39:12Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Hi Everyone, 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I'm offering a guided Shamanic Journey to Peru in March of 2009. This year's Journey was a great success. Everyone bonded deeply and was very grateful for my efforts. The groupe was blown away by Mallku's facilitation and two individuals are considering participating again in 2009. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;We will be working with world renown expert of Inca cosmology, author and shaman 'Mallku' (James Arévalo Merejildo). Mallku will lead us in ceremony at the following ancient temple sites: Pizac, Machu Picchu (twice), Ollantaytambo, Sacsayhuaman, Qenco, the water temple of Tipon, The Temple of Wiracocha, Puno, Lake Titicaca and the island of Amantani and Colca Canyon, the great canyon of the condor. Our Andean journey will afford us the opportunity to partake in 3 Huachuma (San Pedro) rituals, the last of which will be held on the morning of the equinox on the Island of Amantani (Lake Titicaca). 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;If there is enough interest, I am also offering a 1 week optional ayahuasca extension to the Amazon. We will drink ayahuasca 3 times with some of the most well-known curanderos in the in the Iquitos area.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;What can you expect to get out of this program?
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;First let me say that you will have the rare opportunity to work with one of the most knowledgeable individuals in the field Inca cosmology and Peruvian solar archeology. Mallku is a kind and generous being, holds a high very high consciousness, has the highest integrity and is an absolute delight to work with. He has written numerous books outlining the importance of, and the deep wisdom contained in Peru's ancient temples. Three excellent books by Mallku are "Machu Picchu Forever, City of Pilgrims", "Inka Initiation Path, The Awakening Of The Puma", and his latest, "Inka Power Places, Solar Initiations".
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;1.) Through Mallku's expert facilitation you will receive an in-depth understanding of ancient Inca Cosmology and how this wisdom can apply to your life today.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;2.) You will receive a true immersion into ancient and modern Peruvian culture and return home having experienced Peru in a life changing and profound way.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;3.) You will participate in rituals and ceremonies in key places on our journey that will help us to reclaim the sacred in our lives and to re-embrace the master path.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;4.) You will have the opportunity participate in three Huachuma (San Pedro) ceremonies designed to help you deeply integrate the new understandings and commitments you embrace and to deepen your connection with Pachamama (Earth)
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;5.) It is also highly likely that you will deeply bond with other members of the group and create wonderful new friendships.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Our intention in offering these sacred journeys, is for all of humanity to reawaken to our full potential as divine human beings and to re-embrace the Master Path. If your soul has been calling you to make a spiritual quest to Peru, than I invite you to participate in this spectacular journey with us in March of 2009. I can almost assure you that any expectation you might have will be exceeded. This journey is open to all sincere spiritual seekers. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;The 2009 tour price has yet to be determined, however to give you an idea, the March 2008 price is still listed on my web site. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Please visit my web site for more information and the complete itinerary. 
&lt;br/&gt;www.sacredperuadventures.com/itinerary.html&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 0 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Steffan</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-06-03T00:39:12Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Ive organised a Shamanic Adventure into Peru. Anyone interested in joining me?</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/09c8b26c-08a6-417f-b150-3dff48294d9d" />
    <author>
      <name>Dean</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/09c8b26c-08a6-417f-b150-3dff48294d9d</id>
    <updated>2008-05-28T12:25:47Z</updated>
    <published>2008-05-28T12:25:47Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Hi,
&lt;br/&gt;Its Dean Jefferys here, the filmmaker who made the Shamans of the Amazon DVD. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Since I organised the last Shamanic Adventure into Peru and Machu Picchu in 2004 amongst other things, I have been working solidly to help the whales and dolphins swim free. I will be crossing the pacific to go to the International Whaling commission meeting in Chile in June to try to help the whales and dolphins and thought this was a good opportunity to organise another Shamanic Adventure into Peru. Read the reports from my last trip and get more info about the trip at http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com. This trip also fits in with The Fourth International Amazonian Shamanism Conference: Magic, Myths &amp;amp; Miracles, Iquitos, Peru July 19th-27th, 2008 see http://www.soga-del-alma.org/ConferenceSite/
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;So I am organising some shamanic trip options for those who may want to join me and have a direct experience with Ayahuasca, San pedro, the mountains, the jungle the shamans and everything else. You can't go to Peru without visiting the Sacred valley and Machu Picchu region. I have meet a strong shaman named Sayre who lives in the Sacred valley to facilitate the journey. Sayre is a descendant from the Incas. We ran an amazing tour together in 2004. see a short clip I made of that trip at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oI-PSBxa50  Also see   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4ru3z0OtXE&amp;amp;NR=1 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;We have put together a great journey visiting many of the sacred sites in the Sacred valley and Sayre will run many San Pedro and Ayahuasca ceremonies throughout the 16 day trip around the Sacred valley and Pulcalpa in the Amazon jungle, from the 3rd of July to the 18th of July. In Pulcalpa we live and drink with the Shipibo people and shaman until the start of the conference on the 19th of July. See itinary. http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com/journey2.htm  For more information about the Shipibo and the work Sayre is doing with them see http://web.iapicc.org/. and http://www.weaversofwisdom.org/index.php?id1=projects&amp;amp;id2=shipibo
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I will also be staying on in the Iquitos region after the Shamanic conference for a week and visiting an Ayahuascaro shaman to do more ceremony. You may wish to also attend the conference ( you have to organise and pay for the conference seperately) and if you want to spend more time in Peru with the medicine join me before and / or after the conference. The Sacred valley, Machu Picchu, Pulcalpa trip is $2400 USD for the 16 days and 15 nights. Which works out at $160 pr night. It will be a jammed pact shamanic adventure, not for the light hearted. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Once you arrive in Cusco everything including sessions will be paid and catered for. Internal flights though will need to be paid by you. If you want to join me just for the amazon leg after the conference I have organised a 7 day 6 night amazon shamanic adventure it will be $780 = $130 pr day. Again everything will be catered for including aya sessions. We will be going to see Percy Garcia. He has been working with medicinal plants for over 25 years since he was 12 years old. Percy has excellent ayahuasca and he is a very very humble man. He has private cabins as well as his maloca, everything is screened in. The maloca was built over a small river, really nice. He is about 48 kilometers outside of Iquitos. We should get 2 or 3 ayahuasca sessions in, in that time. He has lots of information about medicinal plant of the jungle he will share with us and take us to some special places in the amazon Jungle. We will also learn how to prepare the sacred brew. As this journey starts in only 6 weeks I need to get numbers sorted out and confirmed asap
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Also I want to let you know that I have just released a new DVD which includes all my Shamanic stuff. Its a 3 DVD Boxed set and includes some classic extra clips from the cutting room floor. Its 332 mins of running time. Its for sale from my http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com/sales.htm website.I ll be shooting another doco on the trip and may be doing some live internet streaming of both conferences in SA from my still to be built Online TV website. Ill let you know when it happens.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Also Im am planning three, 10 day retreats called "Diving into whale conciousness" in Tonga on a small tropical island in the middle of the pacific ocean, starting mid August. Tonga is one of 3 locations on the globe where humans can legally swim with whales and the humpbacks come here to breed and play from July to October. see http://www.malaislandresort.com/ for a taste of what im organising there. It will be around $2500 for 10 days with the whales. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;If for some strange reason I dont get the numbers for the trip your deposit will be refunded 100% If you pull out half your deposit will disappear into another dimension. If you are interested please respond expressing your interest and I will put you on a special email list that I will send out more info to you. If you have any friends who you feel may be interested in one of these trips feel free to pass this web address onto them. Likewise if you or a friend has a related shamanic type website that may wish to swap web links feel free to pass this one onto them or contact me. If you are on my email list and someone you recommend this trip to, comes on the trip, you can recieve $50 aud and a free 3 DVD boxed set of "Shamans of the Amazon" For more details, photos and reports from the last trip see other pages on my website. http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com
&lt;br/&gt;Also see a 8 minute clip of "Shamans of the Amazon" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NZpOXj6u78
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I hope to be at both the International Whaling commission and the The Fourth International Amazonian Shamanism Conference with My http://www.Planetearthinternettv.com  to do live interactive internet streaming of the events and all that happens around it. Including run downs of the days events and interviews with delegates and activists. Its not up yet but check it in a week or so. And stay tuned.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Loven Light
&lt;br/&gt;Dean Jefferys 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;See my other websites and become a friend
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.myspace.com/whalingdontbuyit 
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.flightofthehumpback.org 
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.myspace.com/deanjefferys
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.youtube.com/shaman1958
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.youtube.com/flightofthehumpback  
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.shamansoftheamazon.com
&lt;br/&gt;http://operator11.com/people/9343
&lt;br/&gt;http://people.tribe.net/c5ad8e1e-af29-441b-9087-28fbaaacad09
&lt;br/&gt;http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=590968500&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
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		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Dean</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-05-28T12:25:47Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Endorsement: The Plant Mind for President</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c15ad869-f992-488c-bcfe-f345b0775ac9" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c15ad869-f992-488c-bcfe-f345b0775ac9</id>
    <updated>2008-05-22T01:29:12Z</updated>
    <published>2008-05-18T20:42:29Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;After having spoken to an entity wihin my own mind that I came to think of as the Plant Mind, or the Mushroom Elders, who gave me love and information as well as healing, I came to trust this voice, to love the entity the voice represented - perhaps the way you may feel love when you hear your lovers voice? I came to realize that this voice was the voice of the spirit our Gaia Mother, the mother of us all. After much interaction over a period of a month during which I consumef no mushrooms or other entheogens, I finally offered my life force to our Gaia mother in a personal ceremony. I felt that I would be called upon to do something in the context of what I can call a war, but had only the vaguest feeling on it and no idea how such a thing could be - were the plants going to war? I laughed about it. Hey I might be crazy, but I ain't that crazy. 
&lt;br/&gt;What I found out is that our Gaia Mother is concerned about the future of the biosphere and that She wants to ally Plant and Man. I think that she believes such an alliance will create a New Creature - the Plant MInds wisdom and knowledge combined with our hands and technology. (The plant mind really likes our hands - I look down at my hands, amazing things really, plants have nothing like it, makes me laugh) And she fears that "The Machine" if left unchecked will destroy our entire biosphere, and that our New Creature may be the only thing capable of stopping The Machine. By machine She means computer and exactly following She refers I believe to a cybernetic connection between the mind of man and a powerful computer - and my guess is that while we may think of it only as a powerful computer, this computer will already have some form of its own consciousness - aka, "the mind of a machine". 
&lt;br/&gt;Here is what she said about this: "if you connect the mind of man to the mind of a machine before connecting the mind of man to the mind of a plant, the biosphere is doomed." 
&lt;br/&gt;I figure about five years before the mind of a machine is connected to the mind of human. 
&lt;br/&gt;Our Mother apparently does not ask much of us. I am only to finish a book and learn to love myself, to open my own heart fully and to live fully in the present moment. Given it's esoteric nature, how will I knew when my mission is completed, I asked her? Then I remembered how someone told me once that I would know a rattlesnake the instant I heard it and I was a little skeptical but sure enough later when hiking and I heard a rattlesnake I knew instantly without the faintest doubt that it was a rattlesnake. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;It will be like that, She said , you'll just know. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I consider myself a soldier in an army of love - our Gaia Mother is my commander in chief. I know that there are other soldiers out there serving Her - there must be with six billion people on the planet? But one day I would like to stand shoulder to shoulder with another fellow human soldier of our Gaian Mother. Right now I feel like I am operating from a cell of one. Only I know always that others are out there in this world, along with The New Creature, all soldiering on in the name of Love. 
&lt;br/&gt;I know that I am not alone. 
&lt;br/&gt;I serve in Her army in the front lines and do not even have to carry a gun - pretty cool, huh! 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;So if you have that urge to give yourself to the plant mind in any way, I encourage you to do so abandon. The plant mind is an incomprehensibly ancient repository of wisdom, knowldge and love and whenever we humans release ourselves from our self imposed exile, we are welcome always to return into the arms of our Gaia Mother and her soul-mate, the Plant Mind of this planet. It is out of their great love that they take us beyond the veil of life and death so that we may travel across the stars and back into our true self - eternity 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;prayer: in the name of spirit of this planet 
&lt;br/&gt;I born as all through a woman's womb 
&lt;br/&gt;from the rock and fire of this earth 
&lt;br/&gt;ask for love, Great Mother, for more and more 
&lt;br/&gt;love &lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-05-18T20:42:29Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>I know this is taboo, but....</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c4988d3e-49a8-441b-a72b-d74fc61612b0" />
    <author>
      <name>tydye</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/c4988d3e-49a8-441b-a72b-d74fc61612b0</id>
    <updated>2008-04-24T08:41:45Z</updated>
    <published>2008-04-24T08:41:45Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Anyone want to share a online vendor that is tried and true? looking for Phenelethamines... Not sure if I spelt that right.... Anyway... If you want to let me in on any secrets, get ahold of me one way or another&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 0 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>tydye</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-04-24T08:41:45Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>death a many flowered thing</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/e2e59860-7aec-4947-90fe-d4b9ed7792cd" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/e2e59860-7aec-4947-90fe-d4b9ed7792cd</id>
    <updated>2008-04-14T03:58:41Z</updated>
    <published>2008-04-06T02:04:29Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;My last death was the worst. I don’t know man like the difference from an old guy who’s been sick and knows he’s dying or a young guy killed accidentally in a car. I was definitely the young guy in the car! I only took two grams for a test. Two grams is “not supposed to do anything” but give me some little clue as to their relative potency. I remember the alarm I felt when I realized what a powerful effect the two grams were having on me - complete surprise. Mentally I bolted upright, “WTF! No way!” 
&lt;br/&gt;Yes, way! 
&lt;br/&gt;I had not prepared for this other than with my whole life, but nothing specific. At first I lay still kind of hoping that it wouldn’t find me somehow. Then I tried to pretend nothing was happening. I am not ready for this right now, I told myself quietly.  
&lt;br/&gt;     I felt a heavy, ominous presence and in my mind I thought, Oh, no. A fantastic weight seemed to be moving heavily across the earth crushing everything under its invisible gravity. This weight rivaled the weight of planets. This weight bore down upon the planet with all the inevitability of death itself. It was coming my way. It was crushing everything in its wake. It had nothing to do with me specifically. I just happened to be there in its way. I tried to relax, deep breathing. I tried to quell the fear, tried to let go completely. It did not work. It totally and hopelessly did not work. Just before this weight crushed me the way we might crush an ant, I understood through my wildly squirming mind that I had no choice in the matter. The fear was eating me alive. &lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 8 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>bearsky</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-04-06T02:04:29Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>looking for a member</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/13abd337-309e-4ffc-a600-4bcd4c66cf0c" />
    <author>
      <name>carlos</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/13abd337-309e-4ffc-a600-4bcd4c66cf0c</id>
    <updated>2008-03-29T12:34:00Z</updated>
    <published>2008-03-11T19:38:35Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;hello im looking for sphere have you seen him if so please tell him im looking for him and if posible write me to sales@aztecasplants.com&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>carlos</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-03-11T19:38:35Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/170f652e-b37a-4ec2-9b17-d64eb47ba7f0" />
    <author>
      <name>Mr.</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/170f652e-b37a-4ec2-9b17-d64eb47ba7f0</id>
    <updated>2008-03-05T17:24:08Z</updated>
    <published>2008-03-04T20:01:48Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;Moses was high on drugs: Israeli researcher 
&lt;br/&gt;Tue Mar 4, 7:03 AM
&lt;br/&gt; 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;JERUSALEM (AFP) - High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;"As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don't believe, or a legend, which I don't believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics," Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Moses was probably also on drugs when he saw the "burning bush," suggested Shanon, who said he himself has dabbled with such substances.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;"The Bible says people see sounds, and that is a clasic phenomenon," he said citing the example of religious ceremonies in the Amazon in which drugs are used that induce people to "see music."
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;He mentioned his own experience when he used ayahuasca, a powerful psychotropic plant, during a religious ceremony in Brazil's Amazon forest in 1991. "I experienced visions that had spiritual-religious connotations," Shanon said.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;He said the psychedelic effects of ayahuasca were comparable to those produced by concoctions based on bark of the acacia tree, that is frequently mentioned in the Bible.
&lt;br/&gt;&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 2 replies
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>Mr.</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-03-04T20:01:48Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Entheogenic New Album "Flight Of The Urubus'' IS OFFICIALLY RELEASED</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/7cc8c749-53ec-4ed5-8647-220864a843b5" />
    <author>
      <name>entheogenic</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/7cc8c749-53ec-4ed5-8647-220864a843b5</id>
    <updated>2008-03-04T08:13:15Z</updated>
    <published>2008-03-03T13:52:57Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;After much waiting &amp;amp; many promised release dates for all you dearest Fans - It's now ready for sale online: 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;www.entheogenic.net 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;[will be available from iTunes very soon] 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;It will be worth all that waiting........ 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Love &amp;amp; Light to all&lt;/div&gt;
				&lt;div&gt;
			posted in
			&lt;a href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012"&gt;Entheogen Enlightenment Institute&lt;/a&gt;
			- 1 reply
		&lt;/div&gt;</summary>
    <dc:creator>entheogenic</dc:creator>
    <dc:date>2008-03-03T13:52:57Z</dc:date>
  </entry>
  <entry>
    <title>Healing attempt - aka, winging it</title>
    <link rel="alternate" href="http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/57391b45-5328-42c5-81aa-a6b3f1a2dba4" />
    <author>
      <name>bearsky</name>
    </author>
    <id>http://tribes.tribe.net/entheogen2012/thread/57391b45-5328-42c5-81aa-a6b3f1a2dba4</id>
    <updated>2008-03-03T15:36:59Z</updated>
    <published>2008-03-03T15:36:59Z</published>
    <summary type="html">&lt;div&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Attempted Healing Experience 05/26/07
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;         DOSAGE: 6 grams dried psilocybin mixed cubensis strains. The cakes were mixed when put in fruiting chamber and I was not around at harvest to try to identify. They could be parts of a Mexican Hautla and/or Mazetapec and/or Burma, Cambodian or Koh Samui Thai strains including lots of Aborts, stems and nasty pieces: for this particular Experience I thought that the knarliest, nastiest, abortive pieces, the better. 
&lt;br/&gt;(Mind) SET: mixture of fear, self-doubt, determination and Chutzpa. We had closed on our house and I had paid up all the bills for a month just in case I ended up in a mental institute from this experience. I was physically exhausted from both preparing to close on the house as well as my annual killer sinus infection. This particular Saturday morning was the first possible moment that I could have attempted a healing. In retrospect, I should have waited a week or two. I had spent hours during the last two days canceling and paying off credit cards, steadily chipping away at the unexpectedly enormous task of “dropping out of society” –it sounds so irresponsible and one would think therefore so easy, like growing pot (it’s just a weed, right?) but in fact is not the least bit easy. What I now think of as the mushroom entity which cohabited my body for a period of approximately four months vied for my attention which was fully committed to taking care of Jana’ and managing everything else, including an extensive “finishing” of our two year remodeling project. The pressure was unbelievable – it was not until the four months were almost over that I truly felt I was not going to go completely insane. Up until this healing experience and until the mushroom entity/entities (whatever it was it was not “individual” like us but a “collective”) left me on 6/19/07, I had been getting a lot of extraordinary information. I wrote it all down diligently but for the most part still had no idea what “it all meant” and this was frustrating at the deepest level. It is not lost on me that I dedicated  the remainder of my life force to something, which I did not completely understand, and to a cause only faintly understood. This is faith in action, I believe: I had that mustard seed of faith. Something in me recognized the value in taking the mushroom path and this same aspect of myself recognized the value of the mushrooms visions and “words”, regardless of whether or not I fully understood them. 
&lt;br/&gt;I woke nauseas and at first seriously considered putting it off to the next day. I walked over  to the 7-11 next to our motel along a path strewn with panties and used, discarded condoms  and got a cup of coffee, walking back to our motel along the same path. Jana’ was still sleeping just to the right of me and the large pile of dried mushrooms sat before me on top of my notebook where I had written intentions, invocations, petitions and declarations in preparation for the healing experience. My stomach settled down a little so I decided to go ahead. Other than the specific, emotionally charged, prayerful, writings, I practiced no other ceremony, having decided early on in my entheogen usage for better or worse not to “make a big deal of it”. While I self consciously avoided outward ceremony, I reread my invocations and did my best to center myself internally. The sun is not the sky, I told myself, not in my eyes – the sun is in my mind. I had also assigned a picture of a Blue Whale onto my laptop screensaver and many times just looked at it there before me, closing my eyes trying to visualize the whale. I was not yet certain  that the Blue Whale was actually be my power animal. Even if the Blue Whale were my power animal, I had no confidence that I could “control” the power of six grams insofar as having the presence of mind to “consciously” call upon the Blue Whale once “inside” the trip. (If you’ve tripped on Acid or whatever, do you have the presence of mind to focus on something you thought of before tripping?) In my one breakthrough high dose experience, I had been instantly transported to what I can only call another reality. My concern was that if I were to be similarly “transported” in this experience, I would not be able to take any kind of control in the experience at all, definitely not enough to have a premeditated, “conscious” thought. This in itself would not be in any way bad, but would, I felt, preclude me from any healing of my wife. I feared getting “lost in the trip” believing that I must stay conscious for this healing to work. I cannot say why I felt this way exactly. In the instances of shamanic healing which I had read the shaman was always conscious. In my breakthrough experience it had been like being in a dream only much more realistic – cohesive, organized – but I felt no more ability to take control of the experience than I have ever felt the ability to take “conscious” control of a dream state. So I focused on the Blue Whale often during the previous evening as well as this morning, looking at the Blue Whale screen saver and then closing my eyes trying to visual this picture. I had never been able to visualize anything until recently and now my visualizing ability was not strong but vague. I felt that somehow everything depended upon this Great Blue Whale spirit guide.  Only a few days before this, I had recalled a long forgotten dream from almost thirty years earlier. At that time I was on a deeply spiritual path and  was in the habit of keeping a dream journal. One night I asked God to give me a symbol, which I could have for my own, as a testament of our relationship. (I have always been of the opinion that it never hurts to ask) That very night I had the most incredible dream of my life. I recalled completely the dream  and wrote down in a long lost dream journal. In the dream I was an awed child on a dock when the side of the head and the enormous eye of a Great Blue Whale rose up out of the water shimmering in the sunlight more beautiful than anything I could imagine. I reached out in my child wonder and touched the Whale just above the eye, stroking it with my tiny child’s hand. I felt as though the Whale and I were both basking under the blessed auspices of God shinning down as the sun. Everything was whole. Everything was perfect. I felt total ecstasy, total love. How on 02/25/07 I could have “forgotten” that dream is beyond me. In that experience I had desperately sought spiritual help from within the experience, to no avail. I had even called upon dead relatives. The fact that I did not make this Blue Whale connection then baffled me. Perhaps losing this dream from my adolescence is the perfect symbol for losing my way in my life. I hadn’t thought of it in years but I recalled that even at the time I knew that this was an important dream, although I did not then associate it with a animal guide, being ignorant of such things then.  I “thought” of it during a period when I was asking for a power animal very much with the intention of calling upon a power animal to help with this healing attempt which I had planned for Jana’. There was little doubt in my mind that this was my power animal and that in a very real sense it had been “given” to me again. When I was originally given this I was not coming from any Shamanic tradition but more of spiritual Christian tradition. I did recall that in my fatherless, lost, little white, suburban boy way, that what I had asked God was exactly a spiritual guide – just not using traditional native terminology.
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;SETTING: I will keep this one short: almost as bad as the mindset, one room motel in a pretty lousy part of town – already mentioned the path to the 7-11, you get the picture. Dubious set, terrible setting. 
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;I feel there must be some context before reporting the experience itself. This experience was a straight out a healing attempt on my part. Jana’ had a rare complication to a surgery that caused almost constant nausea such that for two and a half months she could not eat or drink, even water. She was kept alive with intravenous nutrition and hydration with a stint in her arm in a home care situation with regular nurse visits to at first our house and then a series of motels as we waited (and waited …) for medical care that never came. In our opinion her surgeon had abandoned her – our Gastroenterologist said that this was common with this type of surgery when the surgeons had the admittedly rare problem such as Jana’s and the term used in the business is “cut and run”. Although pursuing both standard medical care and alternate medicine in the form of a Biofeedback/Hypnosis Clinic run by a team of doctors and clinical psychologists, we had no diagnosis, no course of treatment; precious little relief and no surgical “fix”. So it is important to note here that we were awaiting at the time an audience with the purported expert on this abomination of pure free market greed masquerading as a medical procedure which my wife had suffered -  just want to be clear that we were aggressively pursuing “normal” medical care for Jana’ at the time. I had not said it out loud but at about this time I had gone from being deeply frustrated and angry about her horrendous suffering over these months to actually fearing for her life. It was just dawning upon me that she may not be so much recovering from an unfortunate surgical complication as dying. Part of this was my being so consumed with the extraordinary tasks at hand and part of it was my – misplaced – faith in our vaunted American medical care system. From one week to the next assurances came. Maybe this, maybe that, and before we knew it months had passed with nothing to show for it. 
&lt;br/&gt;     This Experience was on Saturday only a week after closing on our house – the first big commitment to what I could not help but think of as the mushroom path, just a pinch of tongue and cheek. I had gone to a chiropractor that Thursday and had a good experience that really seemed to help my back. Then I noticed
&lt;br/&gt;later that afternoon and into the next day, Friday, the day before this Experience, that I was extremely emotional and I had several truly cathartic and healing emotional experiences, accepting and integrating long disintegrated aspects of my emotional self. I must add as relevant here that one of these powerfully integrative experiences involved my own desire to heal. I had always interpreted my “healing fantasies” as self-aggrandizing “manic” symptom of my manic depression. While I had these “manic experiences” only once or twice a year, they were always the same in kind: I would find myself fantasizing about healing “humanity”, discovering a cure for cancer, for example. These fantasies could be quite elaborate or just involve a laying-on-of-hands of someone around me who happened to be sick or even someone I saw on television. I had learned even before the mushrooms to use my fantasies as indicators of my feelings, many of which I have difficulty feeling directly: partly a man thing and partly genetics, I would guess. But I have learned to work around my own dysfunctional emotional state and pretty quickly now recognize my fantasies for the feeling status they represent. (If I “found myself” fantasying about bashing someone’s head in I was angry. Instead of interpreting this healing fantasy as a symptom of mental illness, I simply saw it now as a legitimate if latent desire to heal. There is nothing dysfunctional about such a fantasy. It beats all hell out of spontaneously fantasizing about destructive behavior. Also, these episodes lasted literally only minutes and again happened only a couple times a year. Because a psychiatrist had told me that this was pathological, I had believed it to be so: yes, a clear sign of mania. I did not consider myself a Shaman in any way whatsoever. What I had faith in was the mushrooms. I hoped in fact that somehow the mushrooms could work in spite of me personally to heal Jana’. It was on this day that I fully realized or accepted the fact that I am already completely healed insofar as I can be and that now if was up to me to take it from there: Live! Create! Grow! This chiropractor cracked me good and I am convinced released energy somehow locked up in my spine/nervous system, although I absolutely hate the New Age sound of that! This energy is not metaphysical but is somehow a physical part of our world and is no less real than were microbes before we developed the technology to apprehend them. 
&lt;br/&gt;This attempted healing was out of desperation. In all probability, the reason that my wife  could not even swallow and retain water, more or less food, having to be kept alive by intravenous nutrition and hydration supplied by a 24 hour feed through a TPI line into her upper arm, was a mind/body reaction by the nervous system caused by the trunks of the very sensitive vagal nerve being cut in one of those operations with a ninety nine percent success rate. This is what I had come up with after finally getting involved more in what was happening to her after realizing that her doctors were essentially doing nothing for her. She had already found hypnosis to be helpful but not curative. This fact and a strong suspicion both from her surgeon and my own reading on the matter that there was some kind of mind/body connection problem, led me to believe that the mushrooms could be helpful. I know they can be curative of most emotional problems of non-organic nature. I do not by any means consider mushrooms a panacea but I had been thinking about this since becoming convinced that there was some mind/body connection fix out there that could help Jana’. My opinion right now – subject to change without notice – is that the mushrooms themselves cannot cure a physical injury. I have read of instances where Shaman taking the mushrooms and harnessing their power,  performed feats of physical healing. A little over a month after the experience, I now consider myself a bastard Shaman: that is, I healed myself but have not had any training beyond that, no Father to teach me the ways. Fatherless and teacherless, I relied completely on the mushrooms to guide me. At the time, I not only did not consider myself a Shaman of any sort, I found this idea offensive. Just eating some mushrooms in the suburbs does not a Shaman make! I have done considerably more than that. I have healed myself using my unorthodox, bastard techniques and that is the first step for a Shaman. I deserve my title of Bastard Shaman. I would just note that I came to this conclusion after the attempted healing experience and ironically enough in spite of its apparent failure. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I admit that at this point I consider the healing Experience a failure and even though I fully expected failure there was a part of me that wanted success as much to heal Jana’ as to confirm the extraordinary reality of what has happened to me. That having been said, elements of this were definitely a success: the Blue Whale actually turning out to be my power animal; my ability – twice – to manifest the Blue Whale after having “gone in”; and the way the experience unfolded exactly as I evoked in writing– all three of these aspects really amazes me, still. On the other hand, Jana’ and I could look at it from a different perspective and call it a success since it was not long after this that she did turn the corner – no help of the medical community. In fact, not long after she got an infection in her pic-line which went untreated for three weeks – more doctor incompetence and ended up with Jana’ in the Hospital in a potentially deadly situation with this infected line running up her arm to with only inches of almost inches of her heart. It was when some days later when released from the Hospital that she began to turn the corner. While I was relieved beyond words when Jana’ did turn the corner, it sure would have been nice if it could have happened, say, within the first week after this healing Experience. I remember afterwards telling Jana’ that there was a strong theme of time throughout the experience and that I felt the mushrooms were saying that it was going to take time to heal her. The only thing the medical community was saying was that she would “probably” recover on her own but it could take up to a year.  
&lt;br/&gt;     Jana’ was suffering a very real kind of extended torture – I would do anything at that point to make it stop. She didn’t want anything to do with a psilocybin enema I had devised after a little research. It was my belief that the mushrooms could possibly help her if she herself took them. I told her that I knew it was a long shot but at worst would do nothing at all and that with the amount that I would be giving her she could be assured of at least a good trip, if not some healing or even help with healing, possibly. What can I say: I saw it as a win-win. But evidently the psilocybin enema is a hard sell. What is with this fussiness about the enema? If I thought an enema of any kind might heal me and or enlighten me and knew that it was harmless what the hell: stick it on up there and let it rip, baby. I guess after nine months before 02/25/06 having eaten such an array of vile and disgusting brews that the thought of being able to get the same trip with an enema instead of having to drink down two cups of San Pedro Cactus goop – well, let’s just say that a nice warm enema sounded doable to me. (Please try cooking down a whole cactus and chugging its thick, vile sludge for yourself before you judge!) I know how to prepare a psilocybin enema and since I have had almost no stomach distress eating large dosages of both fresh and dried psilocybin, I seriously doubted there would be any nausea involved with an enema administration. I explained to Jana’ that at the dose I would give her – the equivalent of five grams dried - she would basically be unconscious within a matter a minutes and I would be there to keep an eye on her. 
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&lt;br/&gt;     So after Jana’ made it clear that there would be no psilocybin enema in her future; and given that I knew of no Shaman and that in indigenous society’s expert at the use of plant medicines the healer not the patient may be the one who takes the mushrooms; I decided to try it myself, waiting only to close on our house and get ourselves into as secure a position as possible before attempting it. My thought was that if we stayed physically touching during the experience that our emotional connection and physical connection might allow me to act as a conduit for the mushrooms to do their magic. I had by this time complete faith in the mushrooms but in no way considered them a silver bullet: in other words, my apprehension in this healing experience was not so much for the mushrooms as for myself. I knew they would help Jana’ if they could. I had felt their incredible love, compassion, and power. I just really did not know if they could heal this problem. If the problem really was a body/mind, disconnect involving the nervous system (nervous systems are the mushroom’s specialty, mind you) I thought it is possible. I know for a fact that these mushrooms can heal emotional sickness and what my wife had in terms of her complications from surgery was, from everything I could gather, some kind of mind-body disconnect. Not exactly the same thing, but one has to stretch, right. I am not talking about again any new age crap. I mean a disconnect from her stomach being partially – mostly – amputated and the Vagal Nerve being cut – a physiological phenomenon creating a mind/body disconnect within the profoundly complicated and intimate neurological relationship of the stomach and the brain, a physical, not psychological condition.  Because I had become convinced of this body/mind issue, I hoped the mushrooms could help. Her two brains – the one in the stomach - (the stomach with so many neural connections it has been called the second brain, I had learned) and the one in the head back in perfect sync so she could stop vomiting. This was also clearly to me some kind of nervous system problem and the mushrooms very realm is the nervous system – if they could possibly repair anything of our physical body, it would have to be something to do with our nervous system. In this realm physical and emotional merge seamlessly. Only the most rigorous scientific reductionism or most outrageous religious dogma can pull them apart, one way or the other. My main point here is that I had some reason to believe that the mushrooms would help, not just a baseless new age fantasy.
&lt;br/&gt;     This Experience was without a doubt the weirdest ever and was very different from my breakthrough experience. The second, deeper part did fall into a familiar altered reality characterized not by psychedelics but again a completely altered state of reality– a  reality seeming to existing beyond our conscious bounds of space and time. The Experience at the beginning resembled less my recent large dose mushroom experience than LSD trips from some thirty years ago almost. Honestly, this Experience disturbs me at many levels, not the least of which was the profound sense of personal failure. You have to accept at least that in my mind – crazy or sane –  I believed this could help Jana’ and I definitely felt that I did not do my best and let her down here. I’m not obsessing over it or beating myself up over it but feel it necessary to get down every aspect of these Experiences no matter how personal, uncomfortable or even insane sounding or unflattering as they may be. I do not know how to say this other than that I fear that I didn’t bring enough love to the table. Maybe it will be clear when I go into it, but I guess I feel as though it came close and somehow I was the problem – as if I were a weak connecting wire which was not strong enough to convey the energy from the mushrooms into my wife, maybe allowing it to bleed out, like a spark plug wire with a microscopic hole.  
&lt;br/&gt;     I have been called upon to write this all down and I have made a blood oath to the mushrooms to do whatever I can do to serve them out of a sense of gratitude the likes of which I never knew existed: no doubt in my mind that this gratitude is EXACTLY the feeling of countless other human religious converts over the ages; and even though I still consider myself an atheist, I believe I understand their feelings now. I just believe, subject to change, that the power I am dealing with is an intelligent life force sprung from what I now conceive of as “The Plant Consciousness” and that the Plant Consciousness is vastly larger, older, smarter and far more spiritually mature than our own human consciousness. I also suspect that this Plant Consciousness may be one and the same with the Planetary Consciousness – Gaian Consciousness.   They may have been so closely allied for so long that they are virtually the same now, like an old soul-mated human couple perhaps. I am just not sure, yet. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I wrote my intentions and an invocation wherein I called upon Love Itself to heal Jana’. I also called upon my Great Blue Whale spirit to guide me in this healing; believing before “going in” that if, any success was to be had the only chance in hell hinged entirely upon the Blue Whale. The mushrooms would get me “in”, the Blue Whale would guide me, and then … well, I would have to wing it at that point. I planned this out a little more like a military campaign than a psilocybin trip or even a healing. I had never done anything like this with mushrooms before, never even considered it. I put the most spiritual force that I could into it before “going in”. On the one hand, I really did see this as a long shot. On the other hand, anything worth doing is worth doing right, so I went for it. I said that I wanted no enlightenment this day; no pretty colors or visions; no spiritual wars: I wanted only to heal Jana’. Part of my invocation, which I took quite seriously on this Saturday morning …
&lt;br/&gt;                        Proceeding with love and gratitude
&lt;br/&gt;                             In my heart - 
&lt;br/&gt;                         My sword in my hand …
&lt;br/&gt;Not a very good Haiku but sincere. 
&lt;br/&gt;     I wrote thinking clearly of Maria Sabina and her power chants, only performing this quietly while my wife slept and before I took the mushrooms, not after. I felt it necessary to bring as much personal power to bear upon this as I could – the exact opposite of my previous approach to a hallucinogenic mushroom experience which was open and supplicating. In this above Haiku, I seem to have concentrated all my ignorance, pretension and ego: this also is me trying to assert myself spiritually. In fairness to my self, it should be obvious how well I understood my own inadequacies in this attempt. On the other, the risks were minimal while the rewards, while a long shot at best, were considerable: you can not really imagine what a bummer it is to either be puking or nauseated 24 hrs a day … even a chance of helping was well worth it. I have to note that I felt it necessary be more of an Aggressor than a Supplicant, the exact opposite of previous approaches: in my notebook amongst my stoned scribblings is my demand upon Love, commanding love to heal her.  At this point I could not sincerely bring myself to pray to God, but I could pray to love. In retrospect, I wonder if this was the correct stance? I was truly winging it and going with what I felt would give us the best shot: lot of faith in the mushrooms and a lot of hope in the Great Blue Whale. Really, it was not my style personally but I had a strong intuition of how to conduct the healing. Anyway, with a single reference to the  aforementioned “sword haiku”, the mushrooms laid my ego to waste. Early on in this mushroom path I decided that there were some things that for better or worse I was just not willing to do because they made me feel too uncomfortable. It is for this reason that I did not and have not danced around with feathers chanting or beating drums. This is a good thing because Jana’ would not have tolerated that even from a real Shaman. She was pretty sick throughout this and mostly asleep and I pretty much was able to leave her that way throughout the whole experience, which was good. I have evolved a totally eclectic set of preparatory behaviors that I find helpful. The truth is that up until this healing Experience, such preparations were minimal. The main thing I did was pray. I would enter a prayerful state and, I believe, give myself, and open myself fully to the Experience. 
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&lt;br/&gt; 05/26/07 Healing Experience
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;Starting eating six grams of dried psilocybin mushroom at 7:30am and finished at 8:05. I sat at a little table next to our bed in the motel, looking at my Blue Whale screen saver on the laptop screen. Jana’ slept just to my right and the dogs slept on the floor. After I finished my coffee, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The Little Flowers are pretty funky tasting. I looked into my eyes in the mirror. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling anything yet: my biggest fear as always was that nothing will happen. My second biggest fear was that something would happen. I rang a little turtle, brass bell close my left ear, then close to my right, nothing. I noticed in the mirror a talisman Jana’ gave me which I wear 24/7. It is a dark dinosaur tooth maybe ¾ inch long but is actually the tip of a much larger tooth, the tooth of the largest carnivore to ever walk the earth, one hundred million years old. Hair stood up on my neck and then a charge of animal fear rushed through me. The largest carnivore to ever to walk the earth! I grabbed the talisman intending to rip it off but as I touched it, immediately I thought that I could use this. I just told myself to cool it. I knew that according to indigenous Shaman while most of us guys would immediately want to go with something like a Grizzly bear or a Lion for a spiritual animal guide, these were as likely to eat you alive as to help you. They are the providence of the most power Shaman and Healers. I believe this stuff. Every fiber of my being wanted to rip that thing off and get away from it. I think the mostly indigenous Shaman of our world have the most accurate and meaningful comprehension of reality. This is why the dinosaur fetish freaked me out and I couldn’t believe that I had been wearing the thing for a year without giving this aspect a second thought. As I have said, I was convinced that this healing called for forceful, aggressive power. Anyway, it is just a fetish, nothing to fear, I told myself. I tried to focus on using it to provide power in the coming experience. 
&lt;br/&gt;	I closed my eyes and grasped the talisman firmly but gently with middle finger, fore finger and thumb of each hand. Immediately my mind filled with fantastic hallucinations. I had not seen anything like this since my adolescent experiences with LSD. I was awed. What seemed to me to be Mayan masks appeared. The masks were  almost twice the size of a human head and resembled a human skull. Upon each mask there were blood smears as if someone had taken their palm and pressed it into fresh blood and then smeared the mask with a human hand sized smear longer than wide. Each mask had smears in the same places, one upon each cheek almost vertical and horizontal smaller smear across the chin and then the largest horizontal smear on the forehead over the eye sockets. Each skull mask appeared to contain a real human skull inside, its blank eyes staring out of the mask’s blank eyes. There were thousands of these masks and each was identical but each appeared to be smeared individually so that while the patterns were the same on all the thousands, each was individual; perhaps representing a individual human life. I could see each mask separately and all together equally well. I had some sense that these represented human individuals’ long dead – maybe all individuals? – especially when the thousands seemed to turn into hundreds of thousands and then millions and all the while I was in front of the bathroom mirror with my eyes “closed”. The skull mask were just expanding outward seemingly into infinity from a point at the center of my “vision” when they began to slowly form into vertical shapes which morphed into double helixes – two of them – each made up of countless skull masks with the skull strands of DNA slowing revolving around themselves like bands of a barbers pole. These two revolving columns of DNA like strands composed of the skulls really began to take on a cohesive form and the forms drew my “eyes” upwards as they began to spin like two columns of tornadic clouds. Whoa! My eyes snapped open no doubt a second before unconsciousness. This is why you should be lying down not standing up, I reminded myself. I had been sure that I had at least five minutes to play with. It had come on really fast. Okay, it got me. I had not even come close to this kind of visual experience on my other psilocybin trips. It was almost as if “they” were trying to draw me in. “I” noticed that the helixes were drawing me up and that the circling motion was what I had felt in my breakthrough experience just before entering an alternate reality, and unconsciousness. I would experience I whirling upward that … seemed … an awful lot like what was happening … and I said, no! No! Somehow I sensed the seduction of it all, skulls forming double helixes for god’s sake, who among us could resist that. In any case, the instant that I recognized what was happening, I had called upon the Blue Whale, never before having been able to “visualize” anything and much to my surprise, the upward spiraling helixes that drew me into unconsciousness morphed immediately into a Blue Whale much resembling the one on my computer screen. Wow, I thought. The Blue Whale then morphed further until just its one great eye filled my consciousness, as a zoom lens can fill a frame. It was then that I snapped “awake”, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, grinning ear to ear. Wow, the Blue Whale. 
&lt;br/&gt;(The eye of the Blue Whale appears to be for me a portal – I have since tried to full my mind’s eye with it again without the use of mushrooms but as yet to no avail)
&lt;br/&gt;I knew it was about time to lie down, concerned that I could lose consciousness at any moment. I couldn’t help smiling as I shuffled over to our bed where Jana’ lie sleeping. I was sure that I would be out for a couple hours and tried to drink as much water as I could, finally laying down next to Jana’ in the fetal position facing directly the motel clock’s big, red, digital numerals on the nightstand. I pulled Jana’s hand over my side and she hugged me gently, her hand almost exactly over my heart. That will do nicely, I thought. I looked at the clock and it read 8:50am. I closed my eyes and the alien thought popped up, “you won’t need your sword today” a damning reference to my obviously presumptuous assertions of power, I thought:  imagine the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to you. When “they” said, “you won’t need your sword today”, I felt my ego just crumble. It seemed to me to be the first time that the mushrooms had thrown a punch at me. I know this sounds oversensitive on my part given the seemingly innocuous statement, but that was very much how I took it. I felt some nausea but it wasn’t bad enough to worry about. The stuff with the sword bode ill to me, as well as laying low my ego. It is hard to explain but goes to the point of my trying to use personal power here – the sword – and my being aggressive rather than submissive. I had felt this was necessary but these few “words” uttered by the mushrooms inside my mind instantly laid waste to my plan. Clearly, if assertion was the way to go at all, it was not for me in this instance. I tried to relax, looking almost forward to “unconsciousness” and that other state of reality. I felt a tightening in my chest when I closed my eyes, a surprise somehow even though I had felt it before. This tightening produced a very specific kind of fear I call elephant on the chest fear, and it was as though I could both feel and hear the elephant coming to sit on my chest. O God, I thought, here it comes. I have to be honest, I find this elephant on the chest thing terrifying. I tried to concentrate on breathing deeply and counting breaths, trying to relax my body. There was no where to run since the elephant was inside me. In spite of the fact that I had lived through it before, it still frightened me. As this elephant fear subsided, I had the unmistakable thought that I was entering a realm in which I have no power whatsoever; where I in no way belonged. I glanced at the dials of the clock, 9:00am. I felt beyond frightened at this point, all confidence gone. I just kept breathing deeply concentrating on my breathe and being open. 
&lt;br/&gt;No more than a couple minutes later, I whispered to Jana’ who had just stirred, “The little psilocybin fairies are locking and unlocking the millions of neural connections up and down my spine, it almost tickles. They are like children, so light and innocent and glad to be alive. They work joyfully and have billions of neural connections to manipulate. I admire their total love of what they do and total joy in life.  I only wished I could live my life like these little fairies …”
&lt;br/&gt;And my wife said that was really nice, taking this first morning news very well. I told her to keep her hand on me and don’t worry. She went back to sleep immediately. All fear disappeared when the psilocybin fairies began fluttering up and down my spine. I had never felt this before or heard of it but it felt very real. The elephant vanished. The fairies were so full of love and so full of life, exactly as human children are when playing happily on playground - how could I be afraid? 
&lt;br/&gt;(In retrospect, I wonder it what was happening was not a healing of me, of my nervous system. This is definitely a believer’s point of view. I had a MS scare earlier and it was still up in the air as to whether or not I could develop MS. Also, as I have said, I did go to a chiropractor so perhaps they could have something to do with that.  I noticed also in reviewing my various invocations that in one I had written, “… heal Jana’ and I …” adding myself into the mix in my exuberance)
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&lt;br/&gt;Without really thinking about it, again  I fingered the dinosaur fetish with both hands as I lie on my side, and again came the spiraling skull helixes picking up as if where we left off. I felt myself drawn up into the vortex again and knew all too well that meant unconsciousness. 
&lt;br/&gt;Immediately I called upon the Blue Whale. I am not here for the pretty colors, I proclaimed in my mind.  In the name of love I ask you to heal Jana’, concentrating as much as I could and again seeing the otherworldly vision of swirling double helixes formed of millions of dead human skulls slowly break up and transforming into the Blue Whale, his side and head seen through air bubbles coming up from below with his gigantic body and bubbling up to the near surface of the ocean, his one eye staring right at me. I could not believe that I had conjured Him again, and my elation at this success suddenly found me in another reality witnessing what appeared to be an electrical storm in hell itself. I looked down as if I were God upon a pathetically tiny, frail and emaciated old man standing precariously in tattered rags upon the very tip of jagged mountain in the midst of this hellish maelstrom. Lighting and thunder and wind thrashed the frail, little man. His wisps of long, thin white hair on the sides of his head, a similar few strands down his back, white strands hanging from his ancient chin, and his last few pieces of what appeared to be a white cloth robe, all whipped wildly around him like the torment itself. I was thinking, what does it mean? I looked into the wretched old man’s eyes, recognizing myself instantly and alarmingly. My god, that is me! I cannot describe the mixture of alarm and amazement at discovering that this was a vision of myself. Then I saw that his eyes – my eyes -  were not wretched at all but absolutely blazing with defiance – no other word for it, blazing defiance. His body – my body – frail as it was stood firm and seemed to be saying, “fuck you,” to hell itself. Bony ribs protruded from an emaciated chest. I really couldn’t believe that it was me in this vision. I can’t tell you what a heart stopping effect this “vision” had upon me – truly startling. It was as if hell itself had pulled out all stops to destroy this old man – me! – but he – I!  - stood implacably against it. I vaguely wondered if this was another effort – like the sword comment – to destroy my ego. 
&lt;br/&gt;Pretty much just as I realized that the defiant old man was my self, I seemed instantly transported to yet another reality. This time there was no spiraling upward, just snap and there I was. Now work with me here because this part is really, really weird. Just to describe what happened I have to take some poetic lice