Hi Dina,

Don't be so hard on yourself. I am sure you don't suck. Try not to compare yourself to the other women in your class. Everyone learns differently. I've been taking classes & performing for almost 3 years now & boy do I screw up alot. I have a picture in my head of what I look like (which happens to be about 75 pounds thinner) & how good in my head I dance. Then I watch myself in the mirror during class & think OMG! I just have to remind myself that I bellydance for me. I don't plan on being a professional dancer. This is a hobby for me to get exercise, do some performances, and meet a whole bunch of new friends no matter how good or bad I am. By the way, you didn't mention how long you have been dancing or why you started dancing. By all means, do not give up. You can do it!

If you are ever up Phx way, feel free to drop in to one of the local gatherings - there are very low-key BD gatherings the 2nd & 4th Saturdays & the 3rd Sundays of each month. Phx has a very close BD community & we welcome all, beginner to professional, with open arms regardless of dance ability. I think you would really like my troupe, Dancers of De Nile. Check us out some time. tribes.tribe.net/dancersofdenile We are so not the typical bellydancers, but we have a lot of fun.

Being in Tucson, if you get the chance, try to take a class from Kahlea. She is one of my teachers here in Phx & everyone just loves her. She also teaches in Tucson. Here is her website: www.freewebs.com/thegoddessgarden. Her Fundamentals class is really good. My niece just started taking it a few weeks ago & loves it.

Keep up the good work!

Anyanka

That's funny! I'm actually taking Kahlea's class right now. I've been dancing for 4 years...but this is the first time I've been in a class. Other times it's was just the SCA and dropping when I could. Living overseas will do that to ya. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others but I feel like I should be further along than I am.....I think it's the simple fact I'm in a class with a bunch of other women that have been dancing so much longer than we and me wanting to be at their level already. I feel like I've never taken a belly dance class sometimes when I step into class.

Thank you so much for the kind words and I will have to get someone to car pool with me up there some time! I will make an extra effort to come up there and drop in on a Hafla or something!

I understand what you're going through. I'm in my second beginner's session and I still feel embarrassed by some of the things that the other girls seem to do so well. Like I'm footwork-challenged...I can do isolations all day long but ask me to do more than step right left right left right left and I'm lost and spastic! What has helped me a lot was to look for things I'm good at, and I'm SURE there are things in dance that you're good at! One of my favorite things to do when I feel down about my progress is go pick the bounciest non-bellydance song I can think of (in my case it's always Michael Jackson's "Beat It"- Yeah, I'm a dork) and turn it on and just move. I'm sure I look like a total spazz but it always gets my heart going and I end it with a smile. Good luck! *hugs*

*gentle hugs*

Oh, honey, don't beat yourself up. We are always our own worse critics. It takes time to develop or style and stretch out our bodies. Don't compare yourself with the other people in class...compare yourself with yourself. Monitor your progress from week to week or session to session.

Know everyone has to start at the beginning and it takes time to build everything up. Stick with it and even six months from now you'll be amazed at the strides you have made!

Know you can always come here for love and support!!!!

Dude! I'm with ya! I can't even get a frickin umbrella to work right! LOL, the quote of the day was "Valerie, there are only two settings on an umbrella, open and closed!" :-D

Thank you all so much for the support. I'm sorry I sound so whiny. I just get so frustrated sometimes. It builds up.

Its nice to know other dancers feels the same!! I was practicing the other day and I just felt so crappy about how i move. I love to dance, I've been belly dancing on and off since I was 12 (im 22 now). More off than on, which also gets to me. I feel like I dont know as much as i should or am not as good as I should be. If I could dance with my arms behind my back I wouldnt look so bad! I cant make choreographs to save my life, I want to do a solo so badly and Ive got some good music but its not going anywhere because I have no idea what to do with it. And I cant just through on a piece of music and go for it, because i look ridiculous. *sigh* The troupe I belong to has some fabulous dancers and we're a semi-pro and pro group. It makes me want to be better and practice more.

Of course you should continue belly dancing!! All these ladies have given great advice and you know youre not alone in feeling like you arent good enough for how long youve been dancing! Work on one thing at a time that you feel are your weak points. Like posture, then arms, then steps and so on :) Thats what ive been doing. I even peek at a video of me performing once in a while to see what Im doing well and what needs work.

Don't be so hard on yourself, especially if you have learned to dance either through Dvd's or just be dropping in here or there. You will definitely pick it up but Kahlea will be teaching your core which is essential to a good dancer. I am in Kahlea's class here in Phoenix with Anyanka, Kahlea is a great teacher very sweet, undertanding. Kahlea will make sure you get it and not be discouraging but always positive in your dance learning. Just don't beat yourself up to hard, sometimes I find I just hit this plateau and I think bah am I ever going to get better then I work past that point. Just take one class at a time, breathe and give yourself a pat on the back after each class do not beat yourself up. My sis-in-law who also goes to Kahlea's classes was feeling the same way your were in the beginning, she finally said the other day so excitedly hey I am starting to really get it. Big ol' dance sister hugs to you and always think you can do it!!

I think I am at this point a Kahlea groupie! hrmmmm

tribes.tribe.net/bellydanc...97cbfe29c2
jacqueline's post, a bit before 1/2 way down.
it was really helpful for me. ^_^

I feel like that all the time! As a general rule - I look in the mirror during class and think "I'm such a dork!" If I say it out loud, invariably I'll be disagreed with. Sometimes I even start to believe that I'm not a total klutz. THEN - I saw the video my husband took of me dancing with my troupe at Tribal Caravan yesterday. While I had a couple of good moments, mostly I see my mistakes - and feel like a dork. However- Instead of using that as a reason to feel like I should quit, it's motivation to work harder. When I was first invited to dance with the troupe i felt very awkward, and questioned whether I was making a total fool of myself. A lovely woman in the troupe asked me if I loved belly dancing. I said I did - She said -" Then you are a belly dancer. Embrace it, practice, and have fun." Good reminder for right now!

It just takes practice and time I suppose. I'll sometimes be doing a move and thinking that I am getting it, then I will look up at the mirror an it looks all wrong. I don't know about you but I tend to be my own worst critic in that I will just never give myself any slack at all.

"I feel like I just look god awful and people are not willing to tell me about myself."

I'm sure your teacher would correct you if you were really not doing it right. Go easier on yourself and remember that dance is meant to be fun as well. Try talking to other women in your class, I can pretty much guarantee that they won't think you are doing as badly as you think you are. You could talk to your teacher if you really feel you need extra help.

I guess really what I am trying to say is don't be too hard on yourself and remember that everyone learns a different way at a different pace. Trust me, you'll enjoy something all the more if you have worked hard towards it. :)

One of my teacher put me in my place and really helped me out. She told me pretty much dance is like learning a second language. So one day I'll be speaking perfectly and the next they will throw in a word that means nothing in English I won't understand it at all. But with practice I will finally understand why that word is being used even if it makes no sense in English.

I'm feeling a lot better. Thanks everyone so much for the encouragment. Now I have to get ready for a performance. >_<

BTW, my troupe, Maha Dansari, just did a piece on this very subject this weekend. The dance pprtrayed the inner struggle we all face with our own self doubts and fears. It was really a cleansing piece to perform. :-)

Dina,

I know exactly what you mean. Being the only male in my class, I find that I am a complete klutz. The ladies in my class, though beginners move like goddesses in the wind. So I thought it was hopeless as I have nature against me as well. But after a few private one on one lessons and my awesome classes. I finally feel I am getting better. Though dancing everyday no matter how little is key.
Little 'ol me! A tech geek/handyman by day is becoming a bellydancer, woot!
So I am sure there is much promise for thee.