Hi there, I just started dancing recently, and I am having the darndest time selling lapdances. I've tried making eye contact, flirting, asking how the customer's day was, all the obvious stuff, and I'm still shocked if I sell one a night. I'll talk up a guy for a few minutes, he'll decline a dance, but then I see another girl walk away with him two minutes later. Does anybody have any advice?
I used to dance... You will need to play up your alternative side, maybe act submissive or dominant depending on the guy you are sitting with (black alternative clothing signifies both)... when you find the man who is looking for a "freek" you will bank on him. Other nights, you may not find those men at all (not that you can't work the floor & make good cash regardless). You are really cute, so sexy factor is not a problem.
First... I hardly messed with the young boys. They think they can date strippers, so they rarely pay for dances... with exception of the play boy center fold dancer (but this isn't 100%... I have made money off rich kids too), but my bank always came from late 20's to 50's.
When I would sit with someone... I do not use small talk. This is boring talk.
I asked their name, then I'd say "I had a boyfriend named X" it helped me remember their name because I said it right away, and it makes them feel a little connection to you. Then I would talk about how much fun I have being a dancer. Guys don't come (generally) to talk about their day... they want to talk about s-e-x. So, I might comment on why I came over to him... "I noticed you across the room and I think you could handle a fun girl like me"... or "you look like your ready to have some fun"... comment on something about the guy you could find attractive... for big men I used to say "I love a mountain to climb"... for men smaller than me I would say "do you like to be on top"?.. for your average guy "I love a bald head"... "your nose is so cute" (that works)... I would sometime complement something they may not be expecting like "I love older men, they are so experienced and know how to talk to me"... use their name whenever it seems appropriate "oh, X you are so silly"
Sometime, to talk to someone... I would be goofy and pretend that the room is so crowded the only way I can move past them it to rub my butt on their back... sometimes I'd walk right up and sit my ass on their shoulder and say "oh, I'm sorry... were you sitting there". etc.
You've just got to FLIRT LIKE YOU MEAN IT... a lot, about anything! They want to feel wanted. If you can do that, they will get the dance. After the dance, sit on their lap, play with their hair, say "that was fun, would you like to do it again"... if they decline or if they accept, I would usual end with "I like dancing for you... you're different than the other guys in here"... "thanks for letting me play with you"... I didn't always rejoin the guy, especially if we just did one dance, but so as not to offend "I'm going to free you up to flirt with the other ladies... if you want me, you can call me over anytime". That was my general exit line all around. They never seemed to take offense. If they guy wanted me to stay, but didn't want dances I would be polite and say "I'd love to chat with you all night, but I need to hit the floor for awhile and turn some of these men on". I wold avoid money talk as much as possible. i.e. "I'm not making any"... or "I need to go work". I pretended I was always making money. BE POSITIVE (they are there to forget about worries). If the club is empty and you know you won't make $ off the guy you sat with, but don't feel like entertaining him all night, just excuse yourself by saying "I want to go freshen up for the late crowd" etc. or "I'm sorry to leave such good company, but I need to eat before the late crowd". Whatever, ya'mean?
I never worried to much about what they thought about "me" as I was trying to give them whatever "me" they needed. Some guys want a funny girl, or sensual, or dominant, or submissive, or playful, or shy, or confident... you need to assess that guy. See what kind of stage dancer he tips and think about the energy she gives off... it's not always tits & blond hair that attract the guys (even if she has both of them)... it could be her softness, or her high energy. Personality is everything.
I hope this helps. You're sexy, so go get them. It is a tough industry... I recommend you don't make it your job, but that you do it on the side so you are not stressed when you are there. If you become so wildly successful then feel free to jump in with both feet, but remember, it is a limiting career and years without a job background can hurt you when you are ready to quit.
peace & laLoVe
oh yeah... as painful as it might be ACT DUMB, make them feel smarter than you. Unless you run into a guy who responds badly to that... I would laugh and say "finally someone I don't have to act dumb for".
good advice Lady
I also danced for years, in california too. Put a time limit on how long you spend with a guy. What type of club are you working? If it is more of a "gentlemans" club, be upfront that time is money, and while you are really enjoying their company, you will be forced to move on if they are not going to pay you. Don't say it like that of course, but most of the older men know the deal, and if they can see that you're green they are going to try to get as much free time out of you as they can. If they buy one dance and want you to stay, but do not seem like they will buy other dances, let them know that you can keep them company for an hourly rate. I would stay no longer than two songs before selling a dance, then really lay the flirt on. If they say "not right now" tell them you will check back with them in a while. If it is a more casual club play to all fantasies, and use the fact that you are new to sell dances. Say something like "it is really exiting to give lap dances! I am just starting to learn all the tricks." No matter what, make it seem like you love what you do, and you especially love doing it with them. there are girls that are hustlers, they will hit every guy in the room and are bound to get dances from someone, but the bigger money is in establishing regular clientele, really selling yourself. And it does help to dumb yourself down a bit. Most of the guys that come in to spend lots of money are really lonely, and want to be treated like the most interesting and fun person in existence. It can be hard to laugh at the same joke 20 times, but if they tell it a 21st time, you know your doing it right. Good luck!