I am not a shrink, wise man (woman), or in any other position to give a credible advise to your situation, but it sounds like you should take one step at a time to get your confidence, self-esteem, and most importantly self-love back. This world is a piece of shit if you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and say to YOURSELF 'hey, I really like who I see, I really like who I am'. Until you reach that point, think about your situation in fragments. What is it that puts me where I'm at. What's the most compelling force that pushed my limits and threw me into that shithole that I'm in at?! I've been and I currently am on the verge of going down the spiral to shit-dom, and what breaks my fall is (besides me not being a complete idiot) the confidence that I have control over my life. I need to realize where I'm at in order to appreciate other people's and my own input. I need to make an effort to make myself happy again. What is it that makes you happy? Do you like to exercise? Then go and do it. Do you like to go out and listen to music? Go out and listen, start in you own home and crank the stereo, sing along and dance. Do whatever it takes for YOU to feel a little bit of relief. Maybe when you start with relief, happiness will follow. The world around you isn't scary. It's just the projection of your own sentiments that taints it that way. Keep your head above water and start swimming. You'll reach land soon.