Bi/lesbian dancers....ever have this problem?

No but I have had an ex-teacher take a fancy to my hubby. Invited him round, blindfolded him, spanked him and fucked him stupid without my permission.

No I dont do swinging, but she nearly did by her entrails from the nearest rafters.

That caused some big ass tension and Im glad I moved soon after!

yeah, happens to me all the time.

but since i am happily married, it's kinda fun and safe to crush on other people, knowing i would never let it get any farther than fantasy.

Ya know... I think it might be an infatuation thing. When you spend a lot of time with someone, and add the tension of performance and traveling situations to it, it has a sort of 'road trip/ vacation' feel to it. You're already in a more 'aroused' state before and after performances, with the adrenaline rush and the excitement of performing and projecting.

I think I would be careful not to accidentally take advantage of someones shimmy buzz that might lead them into doing something they would regret later. Having a previously 'straight' troupe mate having an identity crisis because she didn't think she swings that way, but after last night can't say that she doesn't, and now doesn't know what to think of it all could be a bad deal.

I think my mantra in this case would be 'intimacy does not require a romantic relationship' you can have satisfying platonic relationships that are close, and that were they to be with someone who isn't a 'work friend' might go somewhere, but because you all have to work together, adding the sexual dynamic = potential troupe buster.

I used to flirt with a couple of my classmates back in the day, but there was an unspoken line.

There was one gal that just killed me. So I sort of avoided her. I was friendly, but didn't go out of my way to push things because she had a boyfriend, I was married and it would have been *weird*

lol, so over all, I dunno. Maybe yer just horny?

Amazingly enough, I have never developed a crush on any of the women I have danced with. It's almost like my brain does not list them in the "Available" category. I find this rather weird because I have the most insane crush on a (mostly) straight, married, pregnant coworker. You'd think of all girls, my brain would put "married to a guy, pregnant, and you have to see her multiple times a week in a professional setting" into the "Unavailable" category, buuuut there you have it.

Heheh, I'm sure this does happen to other girls, but at the same time, yeah, you might just be horny as fuck too! ;)

hm, not really.
One of my close friends who I dance with occasionally is also bi/horny and since we know each other really well we are very "touchy" with each other, make everything into sexual innuendo and shamelessly flirt, but in more of a joking "you're so hot, haha" kind of way than a "omg! take me now!" kind of way. Of course, I've only been dancing for a few years and with the same troup members, all of whom are either older than me and married or they are children so I guess I haven't really thougt about it a lot.
Watching other dancers at festivals and stuff, I can see how it can easily happen.
But yeah, you may just be horny, but I think that's normal...or maybe I'm just horny all the time too, and only think it's normal...oh, crap.

Hi Liberty:

Could it be that you admire your troupe members and both of you being female, there's an understanding of how each other feels (emotions)? Especially about dance?

Azeeza

I've danced with a few ladies who've let me know that they would love to "Spoon" me. While that kind of thing is perfectly cool as far as the hubby goes... I just haven't had the occasion or the urge. I'm only attracted to "people" in the abstract sense. I find ideologies and attitudes sexy... gender doesn't really factor in a whole lot. I don't think its had any kind of negative effect on our dancing, and I never felt uncomfortable at all. Then again... there is so much going on inside my head that I don't really think about it.

I think I'm about as sexual as the absent minded professor. Then again... I've been married for over 8 years and it's still hot and cold running nookie around this place. Maybe if I was hard up I would be more interested? Hmmm... don't listen to anything I say. I'm an atypical female so I'm not a very good judge of this kind of thing. Is sexual tension more fun in a dance troupe? (If so I kind of have to imagine that the ladies of Unmata are the funnest dance troupe in the world. *innocent smile*)

~*Spoonerificus*~

I haven't had it yet, but I imagine its possible :)

I connect with the women I dance with now on a completely non-sexual level, though we are good friends. I guess that I'm lucky in the fact that although I'm thoroughly bisexual, I tend not to develop "crushes" on women very often. To be fair, I rarely have them on men either. I go through this weird process from attraction to interest to either pursuit or dismissal from the realm of possibility.

All the freakin' time! I always get big fatty crushes on lots of women I dance with, watch dance, who wear dance clothes etc. I am so happily married and have been for 16 years (been together for 19) and he knows how it is.

I always giggle at the big named tribal troupe director who told me the troupe the plays together stays together.
But when another troupe tried to follow that example it didn't work out so well. The sexual relationship ended a long troupe partnership.

Just have fantasies in your head.

Ever heard don't shit where you eat?

I get crushes, sure, but Miki and my hubby will always be the loves of my life. ;)

Although I get crushes on people I dance with I don't want to foul up a perfectly good dance relationship.

<~~~another horny dance sister

Heck, Liberty, I'm straight and Christian, and I still get little baby-girly crushes on some of the gals I dance with sometimes! I really respect the women who I have gotten to work with (mostly) and for me respect and love go hand in hand. Add that to the fact that there are some stunning physical specimens, and stunning personalities...you get a mix of emotions that can translate into crushes. It's a natural reaction, especially for being in as close a proximity as dancers tend to get on such a regular basis :) Accept what it means and don't let things get carried away and it will all end up good ;)

**HUGS**

Yes and no...I develop crushes but nothing sexual. I tried it once and found that I really just don't swing that way, which is something I would not have known about myself if I hadn't at least tried it. But I do develop...I hope I'm quoting the right person here...as Karma called it "girly crushes." Mostly it's admiration for someones skill, talent, flare, style...something just grabs me and has me sitting at the edge of a stage drooling like an idiot.

I just want to toss this into the ring.

There is a misconception that simply because you are bisexual means you cannot be faithful to one person. That because you like have sex with both, that will have sex with both all the time. Likewise with lesbians. That just because you like to have sex with women, that you have sex with all women.

Just because I am a lesbian does NOT mean I am interested in having sex with anyone besides my wife. I find many women beautiful, have close loving relationships with them, but that intimate relationship is kept sacred for one woman only. I am not a tester model to see if one might be gay, to have a casual fling with, to relieve sexual tension with or any other thing JUST because I am a lesbian.

So might I suggest you look at your ethics behind these feelings. That if you are married to a man, if you have sex with a women on the side it doesn't count somehow? That it is less of a breaking of your marriage vow because it's not real in some way? I have encountered this notion and it disturbs me.

My relationship is just as real as any heterosexual one. I'm not trying it out because it's easy, because I haven't found the right man, or because something is wrong with me. I am with the person who is my mate for life. There is nothing more right about it.

Now I'm not scolding anyone here, just food for thought. Have a look at your thoughts about it. You might be surprised.

My problem is that an awful lot of the dancers who seem to want to flirt with/sleep with girls don't want to date or partner with girls. I don't do the "I only play with girls" or "I'll sleep with girls if my guy is there" thing. I'm not a freaking toy.

I'm now living in the Bay Area and STILL can't find girls to date. Grrr.

Well, I have caused some tension for other dancers in my teacher's class before. My friend and I are very sexual, so to speak, and we getting a little too rowdy in class. Not only was my friend in the class but I was also assisting at the time. To be honest, it was pretty inappropriate of me. And after my teacher had a heart to heart with me, I didnt do it again. It really wasnt "bad" just too much for class. While I see nothing wrong with having crushes or dating anyone you dance with, brining it into the classroom, or to troupe is where I would draw the line. I consider dancing a kind of business, atleast professionally, so I wont bring it to "work" with me anymore.