I’m looking for a little advice, here.

The situation is, the bf and I have lived in our new home for about 8 months. During that time the HOA, which is run by the management company from hell, has failed to send us the rules, regs, by-laws, whatever of the community. We’ve asked a number of times by phone for those to be sent to us, which they promise to do…..then crickets chirping.

The first of the month, we receive a notice of violation from the hell co. saying we had cars parked on the street, which is against the regs, bad homeowner, stop doing it. The thing is, we haven’t had any vehicles parked on the street. We call the hell co. and they say that they have an agent that drives our neighborhood and reports violations and they reported us. We tell them it wasn’t us and they say “we’ll put a note in your file.”

Yesterday we received another notification saying the same thing, but this time threatening to fine us up to $100 per day the car is parked on the street. The bf calls them again, gets the same unhelpful attitude, no clear answers to questions and “we’ll put a note in your file.”

So the bf has requested I compose a nasty gram to the hell co. basically saying in a nice, professional way that we aren’t going to take their shit. You guys are all so good at not taking shit and hostility in all its forms, I was hoping you might take a look and recommend any nice twists or flourishes I might be missing:

Dear ,

I’m writing in response to your notices dated (insert dates). I deny that the residents of (our address) have had vehicles parked on the street. It is impossible for me to accurately address your allegations, however, since you fail to provide specific dates, description of the vehicles(s) in question and location of said vehicle on the cul de sac in your notification letters. Requests to your office via phone for the information have not provided that information either and have only produced a comment that “a note would be made in your file.”

In light of the fact that your office is continuing to accuse me of violating community regulations and threatening to fine me, I am now requesting in writing specific proof that the vehicle(s) mentioned in your letters belong to the residents of (our address). If you are unable to provide this proof, I request that you expunge from my file any notification letters sent previously and any record accusing me of these violations. I also request, in writing, affirmation from your company that you have done so and that the matter is considered closed.

I will consider failure to address my request in a timely matter and continued notifications or fines harassment. I enjoy my new home and wish to be a good neighbor, but have come to the conclusion that I will seek legal counsel if necessary. I am, of course, hoping to resolve this in an amicable manner.

Best regards,