Obsidia hit it on the head!

PLUS:

1. Sex with whomever you want, whenever you want. And, on the other side, NOT having sex when you just aren't feelin' it.
2. "Me" time whenever you want.
3. Less money spent on groceries/bills. (Think about it! Only one person showering/drinking water//flushing the toilet/turning on lights equals less money spent!)
4. WHATEVER kind of music you want blasting out of the stereo at whatever volume you want!
5. Not having to "check with" anyone before you go do something/make plans, and not having to "check in with" anyone once you're there!
6. Having the opportunity to find someone well and truly WORTH your time. ;)

Aww...that's really sweet. I was a little disappointed that blatant promiscuous monkey sex wasn't included, but I'd probably just end up married again...

Hmm...I guess I could start by making *A* friend, seeing as how I really don't have one now. I could go to a burlesque workshop--by myself--without having to hear a lot of shit about it. Or go to a hafla without someone worrying that my fellow dancers would drop a roofie on me and gang-undulate me (you think I'm kidding...)

Come on...keep it coming. Celibacy is not a concept I completely understand and I'm pretty damn nervous about that...

Sweetie, here's your homework assignment. Go to the bookstore and purchase _why men love bitches_ by Sherry Argov. Then get _He's just not that into you_ (author eluding me) and _why does he do that?_ (lundy buncroft?). There will be a quiz tomorrow.

As a rockin' single lady, you can:

1. Screw who you wanna.
2. Clean house when you wanna
3. Do all the things that annoyed him
4. not have anyone try to hold you accountable.
5. spend time doing stuff you care about
6. learn more about yourself
7. more girlfriend time
8. more shopping time
9. more tribe time
10. more bellydance time

Lady, there **is** life outside of jackass-ridden relationships!

cyberhugs! Now I'm off to prepare your quiz!

slade

Oh god I forgot about the inlaws. NO DEALING WITH STUPID DRUNK RELATIVES AT HOLIDAYS.

AMEN!!!!!!

And the booty calls. Yay for booty calls.

<<Probably the best thing about being single is getting to know yourself. Who are you really, when you're not someone else's appendage? You are not Joe's wife, or Mary's mom or some poor lonely person who is afraid of being left alone.

Xanthea, you NAILED IT!!

FIguring out WHO YOU ARE is the BEST THING ABOUT BEING SINGLE!!!

After my *2nd* divorce, I had to figure out who I was. Since I was a teenager, I was somebody's girlfriend, somebody's wife, somebody else's girlfriend, somebody else's wife.... and neither of these guys were right for me (first one is the Antichrist, but that's another thread entirely).

It took me several years to figure out who I am. Hell, it's been 7+ years since my last divorce and I'm still figuring that out. But I have the LUXURY of singledom to figure it out. It takes time.

I hope you now see, after your experience with King Douchebag, that it's better to be by yourself than with a sociopath. You can use this time to analyze the guys you've picked in the past. Why did you pick them? What need did they fill? Is there some other way for YOU to fulfill that need? What are the things you HATED MOST about the guys you've been with in the past? What were those qualities and how did you recognize them? Make a list so you know what to look out for next go around.

I decided at the start of this year that I wouldn't ever AGAIN settle for a guy who did not possess all of the qualites I value. If he had 90% of them, but was missing something I think is critical, NO DICE! Buh-bye. No sooner than I decided not to even THINK about dating, I met the guy I believe I was meant to be with all along. Set the bar high and make sure, next time, he can jump over it with a few feet to spare.

You're a Goddess. You deserve it. Along with total control of the TV clicker.

~S~

Yep - what Xanthea and Nisha said. You get to know YOU and love who you are. It's better than any relationship with a man I've ever had.

Honestly? With the things we've been through?
umm.. how about not having to worry about what mood someone will be in when you get home from a bad day?
Being able to be in a bad mood and not have to tiptoe around someone knowing that any expression of temper will just become their reason for blowing up at you.
When shit goes wrong, you can be as pissy and miserable as you like and not get the 'well, your attitude isn't helping' talk.
You can be unhappy and it's never some just one for hassle for someone else.
Not having to listen to someone else's problems when you are tired and fed up.
Not having to hear how you didn't listen to someone else's problems when you were tired and fed up with your own.
Not trying to share your bad day and having it immediately be turned into someone else sharing all their woes which are always 10 times worse than yours.
Having a problem and not hearing how you must have created it because you need drama.
Needing a good cry and not having to stifle it in your own home because it will be taken as blackmail, or melodrama, or just an annoyance.
Being able to make cereal for dinner when you don't feel like cooking, rather than cook to please someone else.
Being able to make what YOU want to eat without having to make a second meal because someone else doens't like whatever it was you wanted.
Never hearing "do I have any clean underwear?"
Never hearing "did you make anything for dinner?"
Never having to sleep through the TV.
Never waking up to the TV turned up so loud you an hear it on a different floor.
Never having to listen to TV way louder than you like it.
Your'e able to turn it up when you want to as loud as you like and not worry that your'e bothering someone else.
You can listen to whatever weirdo music you want and no one sighs or rolls their eyes or is tyring to watch tv.
You can dump your junk anywhere you want cause it's just YOU and no one else can say jack about it and you don't have to care unless you want to.
For me, specifically, NO ASHTRAYS! No stale cig butts, no ash grit on everything.
Like they said already, no sitting through TV you don't want to see.
No guilt because you don't want to see ___ and you aren't spending time with them.
No thinking you have fun munchies and finding out the whole thing is gone because someone else was hungry and didn't want to fix anything and that was handy. (Ok, well, we DO have kids....)
No worrying about everything you write even if you don't feel it's bad because someone else might read it in a bad mood and decide it's not nice. No worrying that someone will go looking for something to be mad about in your mail, your blog, your posts, your _____.
No pre-editing everything you say for tone and content and facial expression because it could be taken as a reason to tell you how much you suck in detailed, politically correct and therefore non-arguable terms.
No trying to find something and finding that someone else moved it, threw it out, or used it for something that broke it.
You always get the best seat on the couch. You always get the side of the bed you want.
You always get he pillow you want.
You can have the pet on your bed, on your pillow, in your face, and give it all the attention you want to and no one is ever jealous or annoyed.
You can like or not like anyone you want to without having to worry that anyone will think you like them too much, for the wrong reasons, not enough, or anything else.
You can read or say or do or go anywhere you want without anyone questioning it for motive, appropriateness and delivery.
If you are crazy, you can be crazy all you damn well want, and not have to hear about how your'e crazy.
If you're angry, you can BE angry and it doesn't start a 4 hour fight.
In short, you can be YOU without punishment or fear of punishment.

And yes, if I could cut out a few specific ones in the 'tell me how I suck' areas I'd blow off all the others and not be single. I'm a wuss.
I wish there was a way to know when they are reading all sneaky and shit so I'd know to be pissed, too, so I wouldn't have to write these long-assed lists and remind myself why single is better. Then again, if being not single was was anything like it's supposed to be, like we were promised in decades of TV, movies and music, most of this list wouldn't be here, would it? And neither of us would be doing this fucked up dance.
Fuck I'm pissed and tired and fed up and in a lousy ass mood. I REALLY don't want to go ride the bus up to get a starter for this second dead car. (yes, I killed another one. Just gotta LOOK at them, I tell you what.)
Good thing I'm single and don't have to feed bad that I'm putting anyone else out with it, eh? Although someone else to mow the lawn and run for auto parts and rub my achy legs might be nice right now... crap.
It must be time for food, chocolate and booze and bed.
Oh yeah - don't forget - you ALWAYS get the last piece of chocolate, you never come home to an empty fridge or an empty bottle unless you fucked up and forgot to get your food or booze. And the brownie mix is always right where you left it, unless you left it where the dogs can get it. Which I won't.
Absolutely time for chocolate. And my Rabbit. Chocolate fudge cake with cream cheese icing sounds good. Only take 20 minutes too.