I posted this to facebook the other day, thought you guys might get a kick out of it. ;-)

When dancing with swords please remember:

~ You may be a superstar but you are not a starfish; your parts will not regrow.

~ "Ooops!" is a lot more ominous than it sounds.

~ Swords are not like people; even the dull ones can be interesting.

~ When you've lost your quota of blood for the day its time to stop.

~ Anything you can do I can do better and with a sword.

~ "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" wasn't supposed to be literal.

~ Never trust a man who doesn't name his swords.

~ Airport security doesn't care what you can do with it and they still expect full cooperation.

~ Like the noble Penguin... swords should not fly.

~ You are going to get hit in the head. Make peace with that.

~ Screaming at it will not make the throbbing stop.

~ A sword is not magical. Just having one will not give you THA POWAH!

~ Its all about the art! Its all about the art! Aaaaaaaaaaah!

~ Dropping your sword is not the solution when you think "its coming after you."

~ Its a sword. What did you think it was going to do?

~ The pumpkin had it coming. (If you don't get this one... you don't use battle ready swords.)

~ "I will not refer to a scabbard as a sword condom."

~ Tears taste like VICTORY!

~ When performing a dervish or windmill spin make sure that the audience is at least 15 feet away or it
will get messy.

~ Heh heh. Bet you didn't know I could do THAT did you! *Limps Away*

~ Practice this phrase, "I would love to hear all about your 12th level Paladin!" Don't forget to smile!

~ Practice this one too, "No, I don't get better reception this way."

~ Unlike when you're driving, when somebody else bumps into you while dancing with a sword it is still your fault.

~ Cuts, bruises and blisters are sexy dammit!

~ Accidental sepuku does not make for a great finale. On purpose sepuku isn't all that hot either.

~ The world is full of non-believers. "For the last time a katana cannot cut through full plate!"

Let this be a lesson to you. Now go kick some ass. ;-)

~*SpoonMaiden*~