How do you express anger?

topic posted Tue, June 10, 2008 - 3:16 PM by  Unsubscribed
Our Mars sign is supposed to be about the way we direct our hostility or anger; how we are aggressive.
How do you think Mars in Capricorn works for you in regards to anger?

Here's a description of Mars in EArth signs, and then specifically in Capricorn, from the book Person-to-Person Astrology:

Those with Mars in Earth signs found that anger made them tired. They did not enjoy expressing anger whatsoever, and suppressing it evidently took a lot of energy. They had a tendency to hold onto anger and grudges and to cut off people who provoked them to such "negative energy." IN general, they preferred not to be disturbed by others' behavior that provoked anger. Most did better under pressure and deadlines as far as energy efficiency and channeling anger were concerned. In other words, the group was evaluated to be a veritable bunch of potential workaholics who quite spontaneously sublimated anger into productivity.

Mars in Capricorn: Controlled anger is the keyword here, and rarely does Capricorn Mars really lose control of hostile feelings, at least not in public! But these people are very self-directed and goal-orietned, and they will patiently evaluate what may be a productive channel for that emotion, sometimes leading to a power play or authoritarian levelling of an enemy or competitor.
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  • Unsu...
    For me, I think it's true that I'd rather not express my anger publically (though I certainly have)--but more in line with Capricorn, I guess, when I am angry, I want other people to approve of my anger for me to be able to feel good about it.

    In other words, even though anger is generally not socially acceptable, if other people can at least accept hat my anger in a certain situation is justified, I feel a lot better about having shown my anger.
    • Unsu...
      ""They had a tendency to hold onto anger and grudges and to cut off people who provoked them to such "negative energy." ""

      this sounds true for me.

      ""when I am angry, I want other people to approve of my anger for me to be able to feel good about it.""

      I have noticed this as well... But then it could be that everyone just wants to be validated for any kind of expression whether it be love or hate.

      ""For me, I think it's true that I'd rather not express my anger publically(though I certainly have)""

      Same here... but again, no one wants to look bad... and when I am mad I look more of an a-hole than the other guy who started it !
      But it could have something to do with my pluto squaring my mars, too.

      Interesting observations, gabby.
      • "Controlled anger" is most definitely true for me. I have my Cappy Mars in a square to Saturn as well! I have real problems expressing my anger. I can sometimes get easily frustrated, but don't know how to express it constructively and so I hold on and hold on and hold on until my anger is just seething, and then suddenly one day I just let it rip...

        Maybe I shoud see someone about this before I grow myself a tumor ?
        • Unsu...
          "then suddenly one day I just let it rip...

          Maybe I shoud see someone about this before I grow myself a tumor ?"

          I think since you are consciously releasing it then you are okay.
          The universe will teach you lessons the hard way only if you aren't conscious of the lesson to be learned (i think).
          • You have a point there, allilusory... I might get annoyed easily and carry it with me through the day, but at least I know from where the irritation began. I'll snap at people who don't deserve it (not often, but it happens), but then I'll apologize and explain and it's all ok again. Still, I can carry anger with me for a LONG time, and never find either the strength or the courage to sit down with the people who is responsible, and that's where I might need some help. I just think it would be healthier to release the pain towards those who starts it.
            • Unsu...
              Yeah, I'm having to learn to do this too. I definitely hold in anger and frustration I have with people for a long time--usually until it's unbearable and there's finally one straw too many.
            • i definitely have a hard time being brave enough to talk out problems with people, too, mona. i prefer to pretend like they aren't there, outwardly, and that isn't constructive, so i can see how that would be troubling and lead to carrying anger for a long time, holding grudges, etc. it can also emphasize problems, because they build in your own head and the person on the other end might not even be aware of what they're doing, so they can't correct it, even if they would want to. it's very difficult to figure out how to FORCE yourself to talk these things out. it always is SUCH a relief to do so, though, even if the talk is upsetting and results in emotions that might be unpleasant to deal with, in the moment. i wish i had some advice... tough stuff.

              i think some of your issues here could be added to by your scorpio moon, possibly, as well.
              • Hi again Rothilda. I didn't catch this post of yours at first.

                Yep, my Scorpio Moon could also be a factor here, as it feels very deeply and intensely. It's in the first house too, so being slighted in any way from anyone seems to affect my entire *being* somehow. Plus, I think generally Mars in Capricorn demands a certain sense of dignity in any situation, no matter how messy things really are. We will loose face to no one.

                In face, my mother's Pluto in Leo lies in a square to my Scorpio Moon, and let me tell ya: it ain't pretty! Truth is, she is oftentimes the reason for my anger, and I just don't have the strenght to sit down with her and talk it out. Pluto is brutal (SHE is not, but her Pluto to my Moon is), and even though she is simply being honest and direct about her points of view, I'm left feeling like she's bulldozed over me. And she has NO IDEA about how she affects me either. I've tried to explain but... somehow I'm the one who appears as irrational and over-emotional. So instead of "diving into a sea of sharks", so to speak, it is easier - and a hell of a lot more comfortable - to just stay out of the water all together. Hence, anger builds up more and more...
                • Ouch. That does sound like a really difficult square to deal with. In situations where there's a person who brings out really intense feelings in you, it can be hard to discuss things and have the words actually do any justice to your emotions. And when this is the case, it can be easy to come across as irrational or dramatic, which is never a fun way to be thought of, especially if you're self-aware and realize that you have a strong emotional response but can't necessarily control or stifle it. It's always hard to talk to someone who just pushes your buttons, particularly if they don't mean to do so. It seems like parents also just tend to bring their kids back to some child-like reactions, oftentimes, even when they're older - reactions that automatically tend to come to the surface, because they were set as relationship patterns between the parent and child when younger/over time and because it brings back feelings from the past. I snap back into being sort of whiny when I visit my mom, still, which I HATE that I do. I don't have arguments with anyone else, normally, and am very easy-going and try to be pretty mature and agreeable in terms of how I interact with others. Are there at least specific little things that you could talk over with her? Does she criticize in ways that tend to upset you when other people criticize you? Or is it something more distinctive to your relationship with her, like a tone that's hard to shake, because it's so familiar and has a lot of history? I'd assume Pluto aspects would be hard to shake, because of their intensity level.

                  I have a slightly similar relationship to one of my professors, in terms of the intensity of my reaction to seemingly mild actions. I like the guy a lot, love his films, think he has generally good taste, and respect his opinions. He delivers feedback and criticism in a constructive, honest, polite way, but it just punches me in the gut every time he gives me feedback. It's maybe because I get the feeling that he'll never REALLY like my work much at all, that the very nature of my work is something incompatible with his taste, and there's nothing I can do to make him like it. It sets off a lot of my own self-loathing and self-criticism and a sense of incompetence and hopelessness in me. So a lot of my reaction is something other than a direct reaction to his actions and it sounds overly dramatic to others when I talk about how crushing I found his class.

                  Sorry, I feel like I've strayed a bit away from your post, here!
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Hmm... well, what do we talk about?
                    Well, I guess some of the main reasons comes from our different perspectives on life. She's a Leo (with a Sun-Pluto conjunction, mind you) with a *realistic* (I call it negative and pessimistic) Capricorn Moon. Me, I'm a Sag Sun with Scorpio-influence. My Sag Sun is positive and like to think that anything is possible and my Scorpio is all about transformation - turning anything negative into a positive. She, on her side, seems to think that I'm foolishly unrealistic and endlessly naïve, with a childlike idealism that only belongs in a fairy tale. So, my every plan and hope for the future is criticised and questioned. Unfortunately, I take all of it to heart and secretly wonders if it could be true? I know I shouldn't, but I do. And I guess I'm most upset over the fact that my mother doesn't seem to have much faith in me - or at least that's the impression I'm always left with. I also feel that in her role as a mother, she should support me and back me up; not bulldoze over me and make me feel like a lost and helpless child. I'm 27 for gods sake!

                    It has struck me lately that she doesn't seem to have realized that I'm an adult now and can make my own decisions. Either that, or she's jealous somehow and just won't let me. I try to comfort myself by thinking that whatever problems she have with me, it is HER problems that stems from her own psyche, and not my own, so there is no reason why I should take it personally. But of course, this is easier said than done. And, as already mentioned, I don't know how to communicate this with her in a constructive way either.
        • Well my Cappy Mars Square Saturn does the same to me. Anger is always bottled and I can feel my head get heavy, congested with all the blood probably rushing in. I hardly let it rip and hold it all back inside. I definitely *need* to exercise or play sports to release all the pent up anger. The worst is when I get into such a mode and then start driving. It translates into a lot of road rage.
      • Unsu...
        I also want to cut off people who have "provoked me to such negative energy." But the statement that rings most true for me is the one about how being angry takes so much energy. And that, I think, is defiitely not true for all people. I really think some people *get* energy from their anger somehow.
        • Unsu...
          and the "authoritarian levelling" thing is true for me, too. I'm like, "Listen prick... if you're gonna piss me off, I'm gonna show you who's the boss!" ;)
      • i would definitely agree with the bit about holding anger, being uncomfortable with it, and avoiding people who provoke 'negative energy.' i am very unsettled by being angry at someone and would rather find some way to not have to deal with stirring it up, as it just makes me feel lousy and boil inside, even when i can feign not minding. i DO NOT like making a fool or a jerk of myself in front of ANYONE. i want a lot of control over how i come across, and anger does not lend itself to that.
        • ~ i DO NOT like making a fool or a jerk of myself in front of ANYONE. ~

          I hear you loud and clear. Should anyone happen to try, I'll simply turn and walk away and let THEM stand there and look bad.
          • That sounds like a good response. I should probably take it up, myself. I tend to either try to (calmly as I can) defend myself or play it off like nothing happened, but either is usually closely followed by a nasty bout of icy, seething silent treatment and a lot of avoidance of said person and more of that good ol' silent-building-fury-that's-not-expressed. I have to say, I think the silent treatment is a bunch of awful BS to pull on anyone, but I'll do it on occasion, despite myself.
  • I am cold like ice,when I become angry ,
    and my opponents get scared even more than if I was shouting at them like Fire signs use too :D
    • Mars in Capricorn too...

      When I get angry, like Freya, I get very cool, and then omniously quiet- which scares people. It's rare to see me lose my temper, in fact, so I guess people do sit up and take note!

      I might explode, or say in no uncertain terms what angers me ( so everyone knows!), or I might walk off, and think/brood about it, and cool off. Sometimes, I might even not acknowledge I'm angry, so I may start to feel frustrated, tired and depressed, without actually realising why, with that nagging feeling at the back of my mind.

      I hate losing it, and I hate losing my composure/dignity in public, more than anything!
  • Mars in Capricorn AND Aries Moon. How do I express anger... in an explosion!!! ... that passes to a serene calm within a matter of minutes, usually. I can really explode and there goes that loud voice, but I never ever hit anyone, nor put them on a shit-list for the rest of eternity. At the same time... whatever is in my hand when I go off is probably going to be bits and pieces in the next few moments. Aries moon is a huge factor. But controlled anger is not exactly my personal trait.
    • ditto im a leo sun with an aries moon and mars in cap,when i get mad, after alot of provokation (cause mars in cap makes me wanna get a grip on myself,) but when pushed too far the actual rage expressed is very firey hot and forceful and i'll feel an overpowering urge to smash sumthin or someone lol and ill turn the air royal blue with bad language and abuse, but the aftermath is very COLD and bitter and i'll just cutt you off and show an utter disregard for the person's existence and probably never forgive them for it (depending on what theyve done) then i end up hating the person who pissed me off in the first place and hating myself for loosing control ggggggrrrrrr ooooh it'sa vicious cycle lol
    • I know what you mean, I have a Scorpio moon, so with my mars cap I can control it but when it can't hold me back anymore BAMM!! But I am grateful for my Mars cap or things may have gotten quite ugly many times before 0_0
      • I have Moon in Capricorn as well as Mars, so I feeeeeeel a lot. In a repressed sort of way. But I've learned to just let stuff go, on down into my subconscious where I can't even find it, let it percolate around down there for as long as it takes, and usually I'm OK after that. When I do show anger I just show it, and the devil take the hindmost. Get me THAT pissed off, it's your party. I've never hurt anyone physically, but then I hardly ever get REALLY pissed off. Probably a good thing .....
        • good for you yh i imagine your desire for self control is even stronger with a cap moon in my experience cap moon pple are short tempered and DO express anger but inna very level headed sort of manner

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