was this last night or at the fire garden party?????/

Touch, I don't remember the guy you're talkin about but he won't get any love from me. I've thrown some big outdoor events in the last few years and it's true, one bad vibe like that can bring it down a notch. You handled it right, though. He's trying to spread his crap all over but it ended up in his face. More power to the positive vibes!

I have no idea who the idiot was who was downtalking Luke, but you can be pretty certain that as SOON as someone starts being that shitty as a guest, that nothing coming out of his mouth is going to be worth wasting sweat over. Brother Touch, you handled things well. Don't lose any sleep over it. We ALL know that Luke rocked... well, those of us who aren't like this idiot.

Unfortunately, people like this are everywhere, but we hope they won't shit on our gatherings, and if they're not going to grow manners instantly, we have to hope they'll find another place to live and party.

In any 'scene', or even in small circles of friends, there's often people who are best described as "energy vampires" (Miss M has it right)- they take and take and take the energy of others, give nothing positive back, instead giving nothing but shit back, and then once they've sucked the groove out of everyone they can, they move on to another group of polite folks who aren't likely to shut them up violently. The best thing to do is shun people like this, as no amount of "on the spot" loving, talking, teaching, or showing by example will get across the idea of respect and good manners, since these folks are generally sociopathic at heart, caring only about others as bit-players in their own "I'm a rock-star! party movie" experience.

This idiot at the Fire Garden appears to be known to nobody here, didn't do or say anything positive about anyone but himself, and talked shit about people he didn't know to people he didn't know. Why he even bothered to show up at Fire Garden is beyond me, except that the DGS and other Tribes are, in fact, public, and anyone can join.

It's gotta suck to be him. ;-) This goes to what I had to say in the DGS thread about that evening- if we invite "anybody" to the show, which we WANT to do because that's a good thing, we should expect anybody to show up, including a large portion of people who only expect to BE entertained, caring nothing for contributing to the experience for the Community at large.

Before I moved to Humboldt, I was a "Host" at a SF kink-scene party group. We had a pretty small gathering, once a month or so, but even then, we had to produce a "code of conduct" that every party attendee had to read and sign. It mainly just said "you WILL have good manners and respect ALL other party-goers.... even if they're really sexy." It made a HUGE difference in the overall experience, because strangers continued to show up, but they understood that they were EXPECTED to behave in a certain way. Folks showing up at DGS and Fire Garden, and Lovehouse events who are strangers to us, do NOT know that they are EXPECTED to behave a certain way, since no one has told them that we're any different from the last 'party' they attended where everyone was expected to act like ashholes.

It's something to think about. A simple "if you want to party here, you WILL be respectful of your hosts and other guests" code of conduct might be the answer, because since we left the Muddy's scene, I've seen a continually changing group of people attend gatherings, and more and more of them appear to have NO concern for anything but their own buzz.

Peace

Tom