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Well, yesterday I nearly punched my man. No joke... we've been having a few issues...due to his depression, by broken foot and the changes that the later brought on....
My man, for those who dont' know, has OCD, depression and Aspbergers... mildly on 1 & 3 but two makes both worse...
In nearly 7 years... we don't fight... disagree now and then of course... but not fight... it happened... I yelled, he cried (as he said because he was facing his own frustrations and realizations... like "wow, my woman really is f'd up and I may have dropped the ball) and then he tried to stop me from leaving a room.
Never a good choice folks.... don't matter how much I love you... you back me in a corner I come out fighting... and I may be broke...but I think fast, already hurt....and can use damn near anything as a weapon...
No, didn't hit him.... screamed real loud tho... shaking so bad I thought I'd fall to pieces....
the worst is behind us now... we talked it out..."made it all better"... we know what needs done for the next little while as i finish healing... then the step after that and the step after that....It will all be fine....
I've been out of the wheel chair three days... yesterday went tot he grocers for two weeks of stuff... pushed the cart and walked... albeit slowly...
i hurt so badly today... my entire body...already fucked up from the fall, the surgery...the bed rest... I feel like I was tied in a knot and left in the rain to tighten....
But there is no going back... no more chair... no stopping...or all of yesterday... won't have done as much good... I wish i could take it easy...but that seems to cause far more problems...so... I will keep pushing... rest as I can...but I gotta get stuff done.... my house is a mess, my family is strung out... it's time to be done... healed or no..... it's time...
Obviously I'm still processing all of this... as is he... we both know what happened, why it happened and what needs done.... but it doesn't change who either of us are... we just gained greater understanding.... and maybe, just maybe, that was worth a fight....
My man, for those who dont' know, has OCD, depression and Aspbergers... mildly on 1 & 3 but two makes both worse...
In nearly 7 years... we don't fight... disagree now and then of course... but not fight... it happened... I yelled, he cried (as he said because he was facing his own frustrations and realizations... like "wow, my woman really is f'd up and I may have dropped the ball) and then he tried to stop me from leaving a room.
Never a good choice folks.... don't matter how much I love you... you back me in a corner I come out fighting... and I may be broke...but I think fast, already hurt....and can use damn near anything as a weapon...
No, didn't hit him.... screamed real loud tho... shaking so bad I thought I'd fall to pieces....
the worst is behind us now... we talked it out..."made it all better"... we know what needs done for the next little while as i finish healing... then the step after that and the step after that....It will all be fine....
I've been out of the wheel chair three days... yesterday went tot he grocers for two weeks of stuff... pushed the cart and walked... albeit slowly...
i hurt so badly today... my entire body...already fucked up from the fall, the surgery...the bed rest... I feel like I was tied in a knot and left in the rain to tighten....
But there is no going back... no more chair... no stopping...or all of yesterday... won't have done as much good... I wish i could take it easy...but that seems to cause far more problems...so... I will keep pushing... rest as I can...but I gotta get stuff done.... my house is a mess, my family is strung out... it's time to be done... healed or no..... it's time...
Obviously I'm still processing all of this... as is he... we both know what happened, why it happened and what needs done.... but it doesn't change who either of us are... we just gained greater understanding.... and maybe, just maybe, that was worth a fight....
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Re: Cabin fever and other emotional issues...
Sun, October 11, 2009 - 1:38 PMI understand your frustration. Between the chronic pain, the broken foot and all the relationship issues. Well, let's just say that I can totally relate. I don't have any advice on dealing with your man, but I know about fractured bones. Just take it easy and don't push too hard. Been there, done that. Still figuring it out myself. All I can say is I feel for you and I hope things get better. -
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Re: Cabin fever and other emotional issues...
Sun, October 11, 2009 - 7:03 PMthx... Imanaged to fix supper... but I'm down to -30 spoons right now...
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Re: Cabin fever and other emotional issues...
Thu, October 15, 2009 - 7:14 AM7 years ! thats a long time for 2 sick people to stay together ! you must love each other (or something damn close to it) a lot.
fights are fights & like you said the worst is behind you. sometimes shit just needs to come out & get blown out of the water
& then it's alright again...but it still sucks to have to go through that...
that cabin feever is a tricky thing. it has been getting into me lately too, i've also been doing too much...i keep thinking if i
pretend i'm not sick then i eventually won't be, yah know?
keep talking, we're listening...& sending goodness your way ! xxoo
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Re: Cabin fever and other emotional issues...
Thu, October 15, 2009 - 8:41 AMThanks for listening....
ya know..I think I too fall victim of that mentality of if I just pretend I'm not sick........
but we know better...yes?
Yesterday I was in so much pain... it was all I could do to stand and pee;...then I forced myself to make a batch of soup so we had healthy food....
Today, blessedly, I get to go hang with a friend whose in as bad a shape as I am... a day of mellow and syfy... sweet.
Ya'll take good care of yourselves..... we can't let the diseases win.... we are all way tougher than that!!!
I love and am blessed by you all................ -
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Re: Cabin fever and other emotional issues...
Wed, October 21, 2009 - 5:40 PMdang it all sometimes. I was in a flying grump all day today - yelling at my pets for the dumbest things, at the internet for being slow at myself for hurting and yelling and everything in between. I called my husband to warn him, and he decided it was a good night to work a little late..... Now I'm taking my grump on the road becasue I will make it to dance class,even if I just sit on the floor and watch and grump tonigh....
Paidia - you aren't alone.
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