Went to an FA meeting last night and heard something about how good and peaceful it is to NOT be "special"... meaning to NOT be the terminally unique one who cannot "get" it, who cannot adhere to the simple guidelines of the 12-step program. It demands a mindset of hope and faith that miracles are possible for me, that recovery can be mine too.

A speaker at a meeting on Saturday said something that resonated with me too. It was, "Don't be afraid to get too good too soon." There are people who come into 12-step program and just "GET" it... immediately and with stunning, miraculous long term results. Why not me? Why not you?

The "it" is living in the paradox of one day at a time... and making a daily commitment to consistency. If I do this thing today, that is enough. There is no yesterday and no tomorrow... just a series of todays. Today and today and today adds up.

Just for today, I will eat three weighed and measured meals with nothing in between, no flour, no sugar, and no individual binge foods. Just for today, I will enjoy my three generous, wholesome, tasty, prepared-with-love meals and feel grateful that I have enough and will not starve between them. Just for today, I commit to doing what works, to acting with self-love.