Food Addicts's topics - tribe.net

compulsive over eater looking to change my life

Lindsey — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 07:08:08 GMT

I'm a compulsive over eater. I eat even when I'm not hungry or full because I feel like I need to...and I'm so sick of it. I can never stop thinking about food. The first thing I think about whenever I'm alone is "I can stuff my face without anyone seeing me do it." As a result I am morbidly obese and at only 19, am sick of it. I have tried dieting, but the obsession has always won. During the summers when I don't work and spend all day at home I have been able to convert my coed to anorexia...which, I know, sounds odd but when you have an eating disorder it's easy to go from one extreme to another as long as it is an extreme. One of those summers I put myself in the hospital after not eating for a week and binging one night. The past two summers, though, I have worked and whenever I'm busy I don't have the time to concentrate on not eating so I over eat.

I've always been active, played sports my entire life until the past few years. And now I'm miserable because I want to get involved with swimming again, one thing that I love, and I can't because I'm too self concious to be in a bathing suit in front of people (and for good reason) and because I don't have the (little) stamina I had a couple of years ago and am afraid I couldn't do much of anything anyways.

I basically joined this group because I'm looking for support. I want to have a healthy relationship with food. I'm sick of overeating and feeling like throwing up all the time but being too afraid too because I don't want to be tempted back to anorexia/bulemia again. Plus, I'm nineteen and am determind to get some ass before my teenage years are up. And, really, I just want to feel good about myself, and be able to use my body for my benefit. I go to school for drama, and, honestly, if I don't shape up I'm pretty much just wasting my money.

I also have really bad motivation to exercise. Once I'm doing it it is fine, but the getting to the gym or starting is the hardest part (and I don't really want to go to the gym...you know, the whole self concious thing...).

Can anyone offer some help/advice?

posted in Food Addicts - 5 replies

One Day At A Time

megan — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 04:58:58 GMT

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday with it's mistakes and cares, it's aches and pains, it's faults and blunders. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We can not undo a single act we performed; we can not erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone! The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow. With it's possible adversities, it's burdens, it's large promise... Tomorrow is beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn. That leaves only one day, Today. Any man or woman by the grace of God, can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two other eternities; yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives man mad; it is the remorse or bitterness for something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us, therefore, Journey but One Day At A Time.

posted in Food Addicts - 2 replies

I have a goal to exercise every day

megan — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 17:45:38 GMT

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states. ~Carol Welch

I have so much resistance to this goal
It seems as if just stating it makes me resistant
I intend to go to the gym
I paid for the membership
I just don't go
It seems as if there are a thousand things I "have" to do instead
I put it off until after work - then I am too tired
I get up early to go before work - then I piss away the time on meaningless tasks
I try and find thing that are interesting to me
Music to inspire me
Nothing is getting me going
I guess I just have to be ok with not doing it - or just go
Exercise makes me feel great
Fills me with energy
It is good for my body
Good for my mental state
I should take up roller-skating
Go back to Yoga
Spinning
Try a poll dancing class
anything just to get moving!
When I was a child I loved to move, dancing was my passion
How do I get back there?

posted in Food Addicts - 8 replies

Status

Sage — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 03:03:17 GMT

Well, I started going back to 12-step meetings in my area. The compassionate support is what I need and i realize now that some folks get their recovery quickly and some get theirs slowly. I'm apparently a slowly and I believe my life work is about gentle and steady support for myself and others. I am being VERY attuned lately to shame and the role it plays in my life.

Tonight, I am really fixated on certain foods and I watch my mind try to laser in on them so I feel compelled to go act on the thoughts. For tonight, I do not need those foods. I am fine. I am dandy. I am not physically needing more food in this body. This body is what I need to keep attention on and not those burning laser-like thoughts of obsession and compulsion. Just for tonight.

I'm grateful for a meeting to go to tomorrow where I can be with others and hear their stories and spend a little time completely diverted from those thoughts that I am powerless over. I cannot stop them, but I can distract myself from them IF I stay aware and present.

I'm glad you all are out there. I reach out my cyber hands to you in support, in peace, in solidarity.

Much love,
Sage

posted in Food Addicts - 1 reply

New Girl

kelsey — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 15:37:36 GMT

Well, I just joined and I guess if we want the traffic we're gonna have to create it! I, too, try to "balance" my overeating and it has kept me from severe obesity, but also from a comfortable, healthy weight for me. I've definitely noticed that slowly my setpoint has gone up, though. I'm currently ten pounds up from what used to be my heavy weight. I see this creeping up every couple years by ten pounds! I am 25 now and getting married next May to the most wonderful man I've ever known! This has been a great motivation for me to get in shape, although we've definitely developed the habit of eating "well" together so it's hard to make this change. I am also a Nutrition and Dietetics major in college and this is extra motivation to lose the weight and do it right. After all, if I can't help myself I won't be able to help anybody else! I feel fortunate, though, that I have had this lifelong struggle and might be able to actually help my future clients. Who wants someone who has been skinny all their life telling you how to lose weight?!? Anyhow, just wanted to say 'hi' and try to develop a support system for this mountain I am trying to tackle right now. I live away from my friends and family, right now, in this college town filled with perfect little 120 lb. 18 yr olds and it is extremely hard to not feel negative about my body on a daily basis. I am trying to stick with my goals (20lbs by christmas and another 15 before May) and give myself love and positivity as motivators. I really want to change the way I feel about myself and think about food because I have lost the weight before and gained it right back because nothing really changed. I am so afraid that will happen again. Well, so far, so good... How about you guys?

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

Hello everyone!

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 19:42:27 GMT

Hi!

I just joined and I'm delighted to see there is a group for us. I'm a little disappointed that there are so few members and so little activity; I have a feeling we could all use more support.

So about me. I'm not too heavy (yet) but I'm absolutely obsessed with food. I wake up in the morning thinking about what I'll eat that day. I look forward to my husband being out of town so I can eat whatever I want. I love to cook, love international recipes and restaurants. I'm not actually that into "junk food" in the home but I do sneak out to fast food about once per week.

I think my main problem (currently) is the meat thing. I can't seem to keep away from it but, for me, eating meat is morally wrong. It's really causing me a lot of turmoil.

I would like to lose the 15 pounds that has gradually crept onto my backside. I've got the exercising down; I just need better control over my food habits. *sigh*

posted in Food Addicts - 3 replies

fat what no one is telling you

megan — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 06:27:10 GMT

Did anyone watch the PBS special fat - what no one is telling you?
It was fascinating. They did a really good job explaining how it feels to be fat and why they think some people are fat and others are not.
I would be really interested in what other thought about this show.
Did you see it?
Let me know what you thought.

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

oh, i'm so glad to find you

sweetmamadoe — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 01:17:23 GMT

i am 100 pounds overweight, i have gained it in the last 3 years. i have been struggling my whole life on and off with my eating addiction. i am going to try and start fasting tomorrow, and i need prayers and healing energy! please send me some! thankyou all for being here for me to come home to, and merry meet. blessings~

posted in Food Addicts - 3 replies

A painful place

Sage — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 06:29:35 GMT

Hi all... I am feeling very tired and very stressed. My body feels clogged with crap and I am in that place where it just sucks to be in my own skin. I feel very alone with it and for a decent communicator, very fucking inarticulate. It all seems too much - from the old griefs to the arm pain I've had since December, the low back pain, the inability to relax and rest, and the compulsive decisions around food and other choices concerning what I do with my body. I keep coming back to the reality that I am in my own way and it takes my willingness to get out of my own way and getting "willing" usually translates to getting to experience enough pain to surrender. And I fucking HATE that. I feel lost. The whole belief in something greater than me that is actually benevolent and helpful has just not fucking landed. After all these years of acting as if. I feel compassion for others. I can be there for others, be of service to others... but not as much as I'd like because I am so exhausted dealing with my own unhappiness and distrust, hopelessness, and all that crap. And it's hard to write this here. Because my fear is that my pain will trigger someone else's compelling need to fix or give me advice or whatever. I need rest. I need compassion. I need a fucking miracle.

posted in Food Addicts - 3 replies

George Carlin quote

megan — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 15:14:34 GMT

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.”

George Carlin

posted in Food Addicts - 2 replies

A Prayer for Peace, Growth, and Recovery

megan — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 18:31:25 GMT

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred...let me sow love.
Where there is injury...pardon.
Where there is doubt...faith.
Where there is despair...hope.
Where there is darkness...light
Where there is sadness...joy.
Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled...as to console.
To be understood...as to understand.
To be loved...as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned.
It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

(by St. Francis of Assissi)

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

Stop Me!

Lisa — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 18:16:25 GMT

Does anyone else feel like when you lose control of one aspect of your life everything else goes to hell? I just have fallen off of the wagon after doing so well for almost 6 months. I have gained some weight and have stopped doing all of the things that make me feel good that don't revolve around food. The catalyst was depression and then it just went straight to food from there - Anyone have words of wisdom for me in this rough patch?? I cannot get back to the weight I was but at this rate it won't take much time at all. Ugh - Help!!

posted in Food Addicts - 1 reply

my meeting tonight

megan — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 05:23:13 GMT

I sat in the small room resentful that I am a food addict and that I have to give up a week night for a meeting, forgetting of-course that it is saving my life, the speaker was in the front of the room with a warm smile. She read the preamble and went through the readings calling on people to read .... same shit different meeting .... She started to tell her story, WOW, she had been through a lot. I could related to so much of her story, her disappointments, tragedy, life's circumstances and all those crazy things we did with food. She reminded me of that old obsession, that endless hole, that deep chasm of dispare. She reminded me to laugh at myself, to pull myself out of the self pity and be grateful for the gifts in my life, the gifts that were over shadowed by food. I don't always like to go to meetings, but, after they are over I am so glad I went.

posted in Food Addicts - 2 replies

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

megan — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 03:03:45 GMT

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

-Harriet Beecher Stowe

posted in Food Addicts - 1 reply

Lots of members... not a lot of posts

Sage — Tue, 09 Jan 2007 16:31:04 GMT

Hey everyone. Please take a few moments to post and tell a little about yourself and what you would like to contribute and get from this tribe.

Much love,
Sage

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

Emotional Eating Support Group

Cammie — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:36:26 GMT

Hi everyone,

I'm looking to start an Emotional Eating Support Group in the East Bay. I came to the Bay area in April to do an Emotional Eating workshop with Geneen Roth (you can check out her website at geneenroth.com) and have found her approach very helpful. I have been working specifically with one of her books "Why Weight", that has several exercises. I would be interested in having a weekly support meeting with rotating leadership, or I would be up to leading regularly-- we could decide collectively. Is anyone interested? Also, if you are not but know of someone who might be, please direct them my way.

Thanks,

Cammie

posted in Food Addicts - 1 reply

More members!

Sage — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 06:22:39 GMT

Coolness! Glad you joined. So, how is everyone doing? Today my work group had a beach outing. LOTS of barbeque. I have gone vegan, so no flesh. But there was chicken and beef and those smells... And I chose not to go there. I ran a facilitated game for the group instead. And socialized... got there late and left early to get to school. I felt grateful that someone brought salad and there were grapes. Little victory today. LOTS of gratitude. :-)

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

How're you doing?

Sage — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 23:34:12 GMT

Me, I've been struggling. Haven't had it in me to keep on with the 12-step program... Eating. Gaining weight. Having lots of negative thoughts and feelings like shame, guilt, regret, hopelessness, embarrassment, despondency... I started writing down the exact wording of these thoughts to sort of identify them and isolate THEM instead of letting them isolate me. I am also actively seeking a therapist. It occurs to me that sponsors aren't really supposed to be active listeners so much as guides. I need some active listening. I am not willing to commit to receiving regular guidance until I have some internal breathing space. First things first. I am having faith that baby steps are enough and all is well even when it feels really icky.

And you?

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

The little tribe that could?

Sage — Sat, 11 Feb 2006 22:51:12 GMT

I was psyched to see a message that someone else had joined the tribe... but they aren't joined. Bummer. I guess I get a message when someone joins, but not when they bug out. Oh well...

Went to a very powerful meeting this morning. Got some much-needed hope from hearing the speaker. 20-something years of up and down and struggle and up to 300 lbs... And now she's this tiny little "petite" thing and has maintained her weight loss and petiteness for 3 years. Hope.

Sometimes, I feel discouraged that I have not been one of those folks who just jumped into the 12-step requirements perfectly and abandoned myself completely to the program so that I could have full physical recovery and deal with life matters BEYOND food and body image. But, while I thrash around obsessively compulsively oriented on foods and quantities that don't work in my body, I will keep coming back to the food and body image issues.

I took someone's advice finally and started seeking a therapist. It very recently dawned on me that to work with a 12-step sponsor, I need to be open and have space to receive direction. But I do not feel really heard in the world and so have no room for good orderly direction. First things first apparently... I need to stop attending to others and start finding others who can compassionately, mind and heart fully support me.

I wish I didn't have such a "problem with God". I am praying for peace today.

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

Hope from the weekend...

Sage — Mon, 16 Jan 2006 20:19:48 GMT

Went to an FA meeting last night and heard something about how good and peaceful it is to NOT be "special"... meaning to NOT be the terminally unique one who cannot "get" it, who cannot adhere to the simple guidelines of the 12-step program. It demands a mindset of hope and faith that miracles are possible for me, that recovery can be mine too.

A speaker at a meeting on Saturday said something that resonated with me too. It was, "Don't be afraid to get too good too soon." There are people who come into 12-step program and just "GET" it... immediately and with stunning, miraculous long term results. Why not me? Why not you?

The "it" is living in the paradox of one day at a time... and making a daily commitment to consistency. If I do this thing today, that is enough. There is no yesterday and no tomorrow... just a series of todays. Today and today and today adds up.

Just for today, I will eat three weighed and measured meals with nothing in between, no flour, no sugar, and no individual binge foods. Just for today, I will enjoy my three generous, wholesome, tasty, prepared-with-love meals and feel grateful that I have enough and will not starve between them. Just for today, I commit to doing what works, to acting with self-love.

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies

Experience

Sage — Thu, 12 Jan 2006 23:50:54 GMT

Welcome to the Food Addicts Tribe all ye who enter here. I've seen some recovery tribes... but not food addiction per se. I've seen weight loss tribes... and those don't seem to be about recovery so much as talking about food or fixating on immediate fixes for unhealthy behavior.

What I want is recovery talk around food addiction and the physical symptoms, mental obsession, spiritual emptiness, and isolation associated with the condition.

I want to talk about the baby steps folks have taken to abstain from eating addictively, compulsively, insanely. I want to hear about what triggers you and how you get through the visceral, sometimes overwhelming urge to snarf up the grub. I want to know about your spiritual experiences, your successful moments, how your life is changing as a result of working a program of recovery.

How has the 12-step program worked for you? What lengths have you been willing to go to? What major changes have occurred in your life as a result of recovery?

I'm looking forward to a magnificent tribe experience.

Love,
Sage

posted in Food Addicts - 0 replies