Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by how much I love my baby. Sometimes I want so much to give him a good life, one in which love and respect matter more than material goods, one in which he feels secure and strong inside himself. Sometimes I want that so much that I make myself crazy trying to figure out the best way to proceed. Today he got into the trash, which he knows he's not supposed to, and he smiled at me in his most charming way and I couldn't help but smile back. I picked him up and hugged him and relocated him to another place and then picked up the mess. And then all the little voices piped up and began reminding me that if I smile when he does these things he won't take me seriously, he won't learn the things he needs to learn to be safe in the world. But I don't want to yell and make him cry. I don't want him to be afraid of me, but I do want him to understand that some things aren't safe. I know I'll figure this out as we go along, but I guess I just wanted to say that sometimes I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of this relationship with my son, by how much it matters what I do or don't do, and I wondered if others feel the same?