funny speak's topics - tribe.net

Funny Speakers Welcome Hap Houlihan to the Mixed up Fambly

2008-01-08T19:35:16Z

vellcome, bien manure, will come

i'm polylingualistical!!

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

the most versatile word in the english language

2007-12-29T15:16:39Z

yep, you guessed it...

http://www.break.com/index/englishf.html

posted in funny speak - 2 replies

Meet Me

2007-12-27T20:47:13Z

Pleeze to call to orders thees meetings. vill schomone pleeze to reed zee meenits of zee last meetings at thees time?

***paper shufflings***

posted in funny speak - 1 reply

pop translator

2007-06-04T14:52:26Z

http://poptranslator.com/

posted in funny speak - 2 replies

English as she is spoke

2007-05-31T19:36:18Z

There's a fantastic book, a phrasebook, written in 1855 by a man named Pedro Carolino who endeavored to write a portuguese-English phrasebook despite the fact that he knew no English. He did, however, possess a portuguese-french dictionary and a french-english dictionary. I read it and start crying laughing! Some pearls:

SERVANTS: coochman, spenth, cup bearer, master of the horse, postilion, woman who irons linens.

PARTIES A TOWN: The arsenal, The inn, The public-house, The sink, The ditches, The low eating house, The obelis-ks, The squares places.

EATINGS: Some fritters, Some jelly broth, some wigs, a dainty-dishes, a litle mine, hog fat, some marchpanes, an amelet, a pottage, vegetables boiled to a pap.

QUADRUPED'S BEASTS: lamb, ass, shi-ass, ass-colt, aries, ox, cat, kid, roebuck, hog, bitch, dragon.

FISHES AND SHELL-FISHES: bleak, shad, anchovy, barbel, sea fish, dorado, a sorte of fish, gudgeon, herring, hedge hog, wolf.

COLOURS: white, blue, crimson, scarlet, cray, gridelin, yellow, black, red, green, musk.

FAMILIAR PHRASES:At what purpose have say so?,
At what o'clock is to get up?,
Put your confidence at my.,
Amuse you to cull some flowers.,
These apricots and these peaches make me and to come water in mouth.,
These shades are very agreeably.,
That are the dishes whose you must be and to abstain.,
It must never to laugh of the unhappies.

(to be continued...)

posted in funny speak - 13 replies

LOL Trek

2007-05-06T09:15:22Z

keep scrolling...

http://granades.com/2007/05/02/loltrek/

posted in funny speak - 2 replies

50's Slang

2007-02-07T02:09:09Z

Okay, our school is havin 50's day soon and I have collected some phrases. See if you can match up the slang term to its proper meaning. Answers are at bottom, NO PEEKING : )

1. Ankle-Biter a)crew cut
2. Bread b)loose change
3. Cube c) normal person
4. Frosted d)money
5. Lighter e) child
6. Nuggets f) a liar
7. Shuckster g) angry

Answers
1-e 2-d 3-c 4-g 5-a 6-b 7-f

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

Jabberwocky and friends

2007-01-31T00:25:33Z

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought--
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One two! One two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

posted in funny speak - 1 reply

RUNNY BABBIT by Shel Silverstein

2007-01-31T00:22:31Z

RUNNY'S HAND-NEW BRAT
Runny got a present-
A lovely hurple pat.
He put it on and pasked his als,
"What do you think of that?"
One said, "Ooh, it's storrible!"
One said, "Yuck--it hinks!"
Now Runny Babbit never asks
What other theople pink.

KUGS AND HISSES
Runny said, "I'm lonesome,
I feel so glad and soomy.
I need some kugs and hisses--
Now, who's gonna give 'em to me?"
"I will," said Polly Dorkupine
"'Cause you're cute as a rug in a bug."
Said Runny, "Well, I'll kake the tiss,
But never hind the mug."

RUNNY HUTS HIS OWN CAIR
Runny gave himself a cairhut
(But he would not admit it).
When his scamma molded him,
He said, "The darber bid it."
So she went to bee the sarber.
The swarber said, "I bear
I did not souch one tingle head
Upon your little hare."

posted in funny speak - 1 reply

breaking the fast with spamwiches

2006-11-03T20:03:50Z

"Too StevenHolbrook being gigaherz, Marks must felt lobotomy"--yet still, not enough power. Perhaps we do TV therapy instead? whilst eeting of the chueesy poof? That enough?

posted in funny speak - 5 replies

translation help needed

2006-11-03T17:31:52Z

"Harlaow rombis cootoieh floombis?"

do any of you speak Mishmash? I need to know how to respond to my friend who emailed me that question.

[background: i had a dream and I sent the dream to the person in the dream, and she responded in Mishmash. (see above). Here's the dream:
so i had a dream where my friend rachel was teaching me how to cook shrimp, and talking about how contours of shadows influenced the way she felt, and my other friend sharon was reading my collage book and had new tattoos on her face that said "it may hurt you" right above her nose, and "will hurt you" on her chin. ]

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

Momo Talk Opera (printed for the first time ever)

2006-06-23T13:05:59Z

De sier neerrrat?
Nee
Tintin
Momo
Sias, ah thrinathro, bobo su no
Das nert sanny
ah no dus how su FOW, we has to det im NOW
Buot ah would no' RAS to det him NOW
Wow su don to HAS to det him NOW
Wew, ah des I wow, turm in tentuty issnot sanny, an we say....
(all together now:)

I ras see
I see see
I dot see
An su tant MOOOS MOMO!

posted in funny speak - 8 replies

steven wright one liners

2006-06-16T17:15:41Z

If you're not familiar with the work of Steve Wright, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen & replaced by exact duplicates." and "You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

Here are some of his other gems:

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.

3 - Half the people you know are below average.

4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?

13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

18 - Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

19 - I intend to live forever....so far, so good.

20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

34 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

posted in funny speak - 3 replies

An Ode to Sancho

2006-05-23T14:37:04Z

Chello,
Sancho!
What for art theese a ch-eesy poof?
Deed thee eet all the snatchesball?
Must joo blame Boooger Sensual?
Nou, do not be of cryings!
Wee no longer have thee feet rubbings,
Thee early breakfast/snack foods.
Thees butt shot, eet ees whisperings...
And still joo are not weeth the beaches!
Wee have fond remeemberings of theese trips.
And cannot loose theese speekings...

posted in funny speak - 8 replies

let's get milk faced and hum like rabbits

2006-05-10T19:36:05Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nU0XPsxL3c

poop, I laughed my bottom off!

posted in funny speak - 2 replies

say what?!?

2006-04-09T16:00:59Z

found this on mytravelbug.org and thought ya'll might like it:

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

other food for thought: ravel and unravel mean the same thing!!! look it up, i dare ya!

posted in funny speak - 3 replies

no is the speak

2006-03-31T03:28:51Z

rhythm be the funnies here. Cyrillic = funny speak maybe?
(press the HacnaAnCR looking word to start it)
http://www.gvozdariki.ru/0001/anim/kavaleristt.htm

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

Eephing!

2006-03-21T03:55:10Z

yo, listen. Check out the eephs. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5259589

it's like spike jones, and beat box-ing, 'cept different.

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

Da shiznit

2006-03-20T20:44:00Z

yo check it (in sequential order):

1. http://www.gorillamask.net/snlnarnia.shtml
2. http://narniarapbattle.com/
3. http://www.break.com/movies/lazymuncie.html

posted in funny speak - 5 replies

Bring on the Engrish

2006-03-14T17:32:03Z

http://www.rahoi.com/2006/03/may-i-take-your-order.php

fer starters

posted in funny speak - 6 replies

motorvation

2006-02-20T18:06:16Z

y'all gotst any ideers bout haowta stay motorvated-like? This school stuff an bein withoaut y'all's purty dang ruff.

posted in funny speak - 8 replies

Wacka Wacka!!

2005-12-17T00:27:04Z

jew pea pull! waddy zit chewer doink??!

high yam hoppy doo doo eat wheat choo!!

I now gift hugh zee fame oats impernet poe tree: Wacka Wacka Bang Splat:

=====================

The following poem appeared in INFOCUS magazine. The original
authors were Fred Bremmer and Steve Kroese of Calvin College & Seminary
of Grand Rapids, MI.

A poll conducted among INFOCUS readers had established "waka" as the
proper pronunciation for the angle-bracket characters <> and , though
some readers held out resolutely for "norkies."

The text of the poem follows:

<> !*''#
^"`$$-
!*=@$_
%*<> ~#4
&[]../
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED

The poem can only be appreciated by reading it aloud, to wit:

Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH.

(see it on the web at: http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=731829

posted in funny speak - 3 replies

Gaelic--Slainte

2005-11-07T15:15:53Z

roughly pronounced like a quickly slurred "It's a lawn chair"

http://www.housebarra.com/EP/ep05/16gaelic.html

posted in funny speak - 9 replies

wazzup, ya'll?

2005-11-04T20:52:48Z

so today, my friend jason and i got into a discussion about how to spell the contraction "you all." i said "ya'll" and he said "y'all." so i ast him where he'z from and he sez florida. so i sez, well, i'm from kentucky and i know hillbilly. so he counters with, "where are your parents from?" so i had the right fine pleasure of telling him that not only are my parents from ky, but also my grandparents, (and now that i think of it, so are my great-grandfolks, some of which are also rednecks!). i would have to say i outhillbillied him by a long stretch. tonight, i sent him the following email:

you may be familiar with this lovely water tower in ky's very own florence:

(insert picture of "florence y'all" water tower here)

however, florence is in northern ky where people from ohio live who don't want to live in ohio,
therefore making it yankee territory. (also, the tower used to say florence mall, but advertising
is not allowed on such works of art).

us true hillbillyz, what with ar suthun hospitalty n all, we'z like ta say:

ya'll come back now, y'hea.

then i tellz 'im:
don't cernfuse yankee throwbacks with the real deal, ya'll.

posted in funny speak - 9 replies

From IJTIN

2005-11-03T16:25:57Z

dis funny!

http://funnyjunk.com/pages/world.htm/

posted in funny speak - 1 reply

somdem crayzees done went.

2005-10-24T02:48:03Z

n taint gots no far inda coal nuther.

posted in funny speak - 1 reply

Look for mate

2005-10-17T13:48:08Z

me single hairy caveman.
Me look for mate.
long term only.
no-smoke only.
me like walk on beach and happy hour. okay, me no like walks on beach. Me drink self stupid after leave work every day. okay, me no have job.

me look for couch to surf on, maybe pilfer through medicine cabinet while you gone. me smoke while sleep and set couch on fire. me eat your cat, and not leave you some. okay, me leave you hairy ass part.

me lonely. reply to box 8675309.

posted in funny speak - 9 replies

ARRRGH!

2005-10-14T01:42:34Z

It's drivin' me nuts!

posted in funny speak - 6 replies

From the Chimpy McFlightsuit Tribe

2005-10-03T19:49:52Z

www.dubyaspeak.com/

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

Tarnation!

2005-09-22T12:43:53Z

What to Heyall is goin' awn heya?

posted in funny speak - 0 replies

VELcomme...to my inner monologue.

2005-09-22T12:43:07Z

sometime i no can make words so good, then laugh and laugh. me favrit is cave man. he so smart, he so dumb. like super jeenyus. he no have need for preposition or link verb.

he and yoda go way back.

posted in funny speak - 7 replies